My Latest Wife Experiment

I'm doing a little experiment right now.  I would say I'm typically a pretty encouraging wife, but at the same time, I can also be a wife who challenges - Poor RM.   Typically, it can be on his ideas, asking a ton of questions, needing to be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt and then, finally, after I've questioned enough and basically worn him down, I come around and say, "Ok, I guess it's a good idea."  Sometimes by that point he's either changed his mind or is too tired to try or worse, because of my questioning, he now has doubts himself....ah, the undermining that wives do without even realizing it!

But!  No longer!  I've seen this as a pattern and have been really working at it.  I still talk with him about his many ideas.  He wants to hear my concerns, but now I'm trying to be less challenging and more encouraging right from the get-go.  For example, the winery.  Oh my.  So much going on.

We are learning so much as we go on.  Barrels, it turns out, are key.  You can not put wine in a plastic barrel and it expect it to breathe and taste good.  I used to think it was just a pretty container to put wine in.  Nope.  So we had to buy barrels - they aren't cheap.  I was ok with 7, after he convinced me, last Fall.  But then a couple of weeks ago another opportunity came up to buy 21 more - 21!  I was initially so hesitant.  One thing about fear that I'm realizing is that just like "dread", "hesistancy" is a cousin of fear. I get afraid that it's too much money, that we won't sell the wine, that we'll be stuck with barrels....This time, after I heard his reasoning, I smiled and said, "Sounds good!"  Even though it seemed NUTS.  Then, he mentioned this other winery was offering him 1300 L of Riesling.  Not for free.  Another big investment.  Hesistancy.  But again, "I can see how that makes sense - let's do it!'

We now own 28 barrels and 1300 more liters of wine.  But I'm excited.  I believe my excitement fuels his excitement.  And, we always ask ourselves, "What is the worst thing that could happen?"  We might get stuck with a few barrels?  So we sell them again!  We might get stuck with some extra wine?  It'll eventually sell.  It always keeps us moving forward.  And, as I trust him, he feels more confident.  When I don't trust, that shows my fears and paralyzes both him and myself.  

He is very close to getting the last license that will allow him to sell wine.  He is getting very excited.  Ideas are coming to him all the time about the marketing side of things, the website, how he'll label and package the wine, where to sell, who to sell it to, etc.  I can only think that is because I've been fueling the excitement and not been a damper to him.

He had to draw a mock design of what our winery would look like.  Normally that would have cost thousands of dollars to hire someone to create.  Being familiar with CAD drawing programs, he did it in a couple of days himself.  He's created for this.  He's loving it so much.  So, who am I to stop him?  He's having fun, using every skill he's ever been given and I'm enjoying the journey.  Is it scary?  Yes.  Do I still have fears in the back of my mind?  A little.  But I'm recognizing that those are not helpful in any way, so I choose to not listen to them.  Instead I thank God for this man of vision who is leading our family and I'm having fun on the wild ride!