Facing Opposition as We Rebuild the Walls

My friend who just had her 8th child, her 4th boy, was given a great honour by some of us - she joined the "Mom of 4 or More Boys Club", created by some other friends of mine who have 4 or more boys as well.  This honour meant she got a special gift for only moms of 4 or more boys.  It included a box of bandaids, $5 meant for emergency room parking, a penny for their thoughts (as they won't tell her much what they are always thinking), etc., etc.....I thought this was a very clever idea.  Now that I have 5 boys myself, I get it - especially the $5 emergency room parking cause that's where I spent a lot of time on Wednesday!  And you guessed it, with the 4 year old....

The unique and funny thing was that it wasn't because he was up to his usual antics at all!  He was in fact just sitting.  No one was in the room - it went from perfectly quiet to screaming in a matter of seconds.  One of the other kids ran in first as I usually don't run - I always wait to see if it is a "true" cry and most of the time, it's not real, or I wait for, "Mom! There's blood!"  This time, I heard cry #1 and thought, "Hmmm... that sounded bad," then silence, as he caught his breath for wail #2. When I heard that cry, I ran.  I was just around the corner and was there in a matter of seconds to find him on the floor, in a snake suit, holding his head, screaming.  He took off his hand as he felt his own blood and that's when I realized, "How in the world????  He's hurt bad."

I took him to the sink, got a cloth, and calmly demonstrated to the other children how to get a wound to stop bleeding!  It was quite helpful, I think, to show them how to do this for their own first aid one day!  It stopped fairly quickly.  I took a look and saw what looked like a hole.  He had punctured his head on what?  He was calming down, so we asked him to explain what had happened.  He had been just sitting on the chair near a stool, then somehow his foot got caught under the rug and it made him lose his balance (I'm totally guessing as it makes no sense....) causing him to come down hard on a soft cushion!  I'm serious, he hurt his head on a soft cushion - well, ok, not entirely, but under the soft cushion, is a corner on the stool and sure enough, he found the only part that could hurt him and wham - punctured his little head.

Shortly after, Daddy came in - we assessed and decided it would probably need a stitch or two.  So off we went, in his snake suit, to the emergency room.  Within 3 hours he was all taken care of - no stitch, just a butterfly bandage squeezing the skin together to cover up the hole that would have been there.

What was interesting during this whole experience, especially upon reflection, was the timing of this whole event.  It took place on the night when we would be giving a talk on creating a vision for your family.  This is quite typical we found out, once we became members of the board.  Apparently each monthly meeting, the board members would recount their days and they would realize the spiritual attacks had intensified on the night when they would be hosting a meeting - we soon found this, too. The dog attacks on our property had been on the night of our homeschool meeting, too.  The only way to really account for this, other than coincidence, is to realize Satan hates what we are about and anything he could do to mess that up he'll try.  It didn't totally work though as I know people were praying that day.  I was able to remain calm which is shocking - normally I wouldn't be able to handle blood and mess that well.  We were able to get care fairly quickly.  We still managed to get the talk finished, though it wasn't perhaps as polished as it could have been.  All in all it was a great night.

After many many weeks of talking and praying about what we wanted to say, my husband and I finally decided we would focus on Nehemiah.  That book gives an incredible example of a man who had a vision for rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem and despite opposition, went ahead and achieved the goal.  This was what my husband tried to communicate as well to the parents that came that night. I may leave out a point here or there, but this, in essence, was what he said..

First, Nehemiah had a burden.  The walls of Jerusalem were broken down.  His first action was to fast and pray.  Then he repented, on behalf of the nation of Israel.  His tremendous sadness was noticed by the king and he was asked about it.  Nehemiah told him what was concerning him.  He asked if he could leave his important job to finish the rebuilding of the walls.  Amazingly, the king let him go with the resources he would need and all the time he would need.  Off Nehemiah went.  He first assessed the situation by going around the whole city and seeing how bad it was.  Then he made a plan and had each family rebuild a part of the wall. Opposition began almost immediately, but this didn't stop the work, it only slowed it down temporarily as then he set it up so that some families kept working, while others kept guard.  The people were afraid and wanted to quit, but Nehemiah reminded them of the vision, to fight in the strength of the Lord. The goal was finally achieved, but the city was never as grand as it had been - there were consequences for the nation's sin.  Then, to Nehemiah's dismay, Israel fell back into their own patterns of behaviour.  To keep the new walls built, it meant constant watching and correcting of Israel.  They couldn't be left on their own.

The parallels are amazing.  We, too, as parents, have a burden - we want our children saved.  We want them to have godly spouses, godly offspring and not just this generation, but many generations to come.  We want to educate our children to be able to provide for their families.  We want them to be debt-free and have no bondage in their lives financially.  So, what do we do?  We fast and pray. We encouraged the parents to assess their lives and what their burdens are, especially for their children and then to stop and take it to the Lord and pray.  For those who have never fasted before we encouraged them to do this.  Fasting will reveal the plan God has for us on how to get rid of the burden.  It was the first time some had considered this. 

Then, we said, repent.  Repent of anything that comes to your mind, any area where you've fallen short, perhaps in the decisions you've made in the past, or anything that may be creating this burden you have.  Then, like Nehemiah, go to the King, the true King, the Lord of this earth and ask for His help.  Our King will give us the resources and time we need to accomplish His will.  Like Nehemiah, it'll mean assessing the situation, going around our "walls" and finding where they are broken down in our lives.  Then, as families, we'll need to rebuild these walls.  But, we reminded everyone there, opposition will come, the naysayers who will hear about your vision for your family and they'll tell you what you are doing is wrong or they'll make fun of you.  There are times when we, too, will have fear.  We will want to quit.  It's hard to take sometimes, but we can't let it stop the work of rebuilding - we must persevere.  And we must stand guard for each other! Finally, the walls will be rebuilt - we'll be sending our children out into the world.  Our job will be done, but we never stop being parents.  We must be there if they fall into old patterns or if we, as parents, fall into old patterns. We're all so prone to that, just like the Israelites.

Finally, we talked about how this is being fleshed out in our family, how we are taking our burdens to the Lord, how we have fasted and prayed, asked God for a plan, assessed the situation, grabbed the necessary resources, fought against opposition, corrected, adjusted and monitored each decision as we went along.....it's a lot of work being a parent to 8 souls!

The book of Nehemiah is a great encouragement - so much can be gained by studying it. We just scratched the surface of this amazing book.  As usual, whenever we are required to put something together, like this talk on vision, we are the ones who truly benefit.  We gained so much by talking through it together.  

Meanwhile,  Little J is well on the road to recovery - some might think I over-spiritualized the situation, maybe, but I don't think so.  I think it was like the opposition Nehemiah experienced, trying to derail us before meeting with a group of parents that are trying to rebuild walls in their families' lives.  I'm glad it wasn't anything more serious.

So, tonight, it'll be with a group of seeking parents, wondering if homeschooling is for them.  I'll be praying all day for spiritual protection as once again we head into battle...

Not Just For Today, But For Eternity

What do you do when you get woken up at 3 am and then can't fall back asleep until 5 am, right when your alarm is supposed to go off?  You turn off the alarm and sleep in, that's what you do and trust me, I did it.  Thank goodness for homeschooling....an extremely wonderful side benefit if it's a bad night.

This week my husband and I have two amazing opportunities to talk to two different groups of folks about homeschooling.  Tonight we'll be speaking to our homeschool support group about having a vision for your family and homeschooling.  My husband will be trying to encourage the people who come out to not just think about homeschooling with a "let's just get through the week" type of attitude, but "let's think about the end goal - keeping our children's hearts for today and for eternity". Normally we have only a handful of guys that come out, the rest are women, but this week we sent out an email appealing to the men to be there, too.

Our family will be what we call the "feature family" where we will discuss how we vision as a couple for our family.  It is not just a one-time deal once a year.  We constantly are visioning, almost nightly, but we do set aside a more intentional time as well for this.  Once again, I can thank my parents for modeling that for us.  They would take what they called "Planning Weekends".  They would get us cared for by friends and then go away somewhere.  Even then I knew it wasn't just about planning for us.  I knew they probably needed a getaway and just wanted to be together alone, but still, it always stuck with me and I sure hoped I could do that when I got married.  Now I do!  We go away every anniversary for at least one night.  We certainly enjoy going away, eating out, being at a hotel somewhere, but we do talk...and talk and talk....we are always thinking of our future and the kids future.

We also vision for our family when we go away to the annual homeschool conference in the Spring. That's another two day event that we get mostly to ourselves (now our 3 older children will join us). It is another fantastic time to think, "Why do we pick that curriculum?  Will it benefit my child in any way or would a different one be more suited to him or her?"  We'll ask each other tons of questions that really get us thinking about each child specifically, their needs, and truly, how will that curriculum help them to be a better wife or father?  It's true!  We're thinking that far into the future. We always go with the normative thinking in that we assume, most likely, they will get married, so we have to plan for that.  The boys will definitely need to be able to provide for their families, so it most likely we will avoid subjects that will not waste their time.  For the girls, we always plan on them being wives and helpmeets, so we pick subjects that will allow them to be able to learn those skills as well as assisting in their husbands' ventures.  We encourage all of our children to be entrepreneurial in their thinking.  We'd be thrilled if each one of them had their own business of some kind.

So we are definitely deliberate in our thinking and talking, not to mention the time away that is required. It is always a sacrifice of time and money for my husband as these weekends never seem to fall at a time when he isn't as busy.  But he knows if he doesn't take the time our children will suffer in some way in their future.  Plus, I have no peace.  I need these times away to talk about all my concerns.  I always have concerns!  I'll see something in a child I don't like or the past two years, it's been, "Help!  I have kids in highschool!  Now what???!!"  If we didn't take those times to debrief, I would be in a constant panic all the time.

On Friday, along with 2 other couples,  we'll be speaking to a completely different group of people. We've found in the circles we run in that there are a lot of questions from many about homeschooling? Why do you do it?  How do you start?  What about (the classic question....) socialization?  What about being salt and light?  Etc., etc.   A friend of mine was taken aside one Sunday by another friend and explained she really needed to talk to her about homeschooling once and for all.  Things were not going well with her daughter in the public system.  Her daughter, who was only 6, came home and told her, "You don't make the rules, the teacher does."  The mom was not happy.  My friend decided there were probably enough people with questions about homeschooling to organize a panel of homeschooling parents and their kids and have a Q & A type of night.  So, that's what we've been invited to be on.  The interesting thing about that night is there will be quite a few skeptics, mostly the husbands.  They are only going because their wives want to go.  That's where our husbands come in.  They'll hopefully be able to address all their concerns from a man's perspective.  Even our children will be there as a testimony to homeschooling and its benefits. They'll be on the panel, too, at one point offering their unique perspective.

So, a full week, but again, my kind of week!  I love being out there talking with people!  I love talking about homeschooling and its benefits.  I love being alongside my husband as he talks with other men convincingly about these types of things, too. I pray we'll be used this week to encourage parents to think... it is not just about today, it's for eternity.

"Can We Put Mom in Front of a Show???" and Heather's Story

I have not conquered anger in our home 100%, but it is certainly something we all strive to get rid of. I have seen tremendous improvement in my own life as I aim to make it a cheerful place in the morning which, of course, can be the most challenging, as so many of us struggle to wake up...and happy at that! Yes, I'm a morning person, which has helped me, but it still isn't easy.  Here's a funny story to show the effort I'm attempting to make at changing the atmosphere in the home......

We're still using the Maxwell's Chore system most mornings and one of the ways I like to get people on board is to rile them up with either music or me (seriously) cheering them on.  I must look and sound like a loony, but that's what I do.  I clap my hands, yell out some crazy cheers and sometimes stomp around the house like I'm a cheerleader on steroids - all this in a happy, hilarious tone.  My kids, I think anyway (!), deep down like it - in my mind I'm creating a funny memory of their mom.  I guess I was getting a little carried away the other day as my oldest child said to my husband as he walked in the room, "Uh, Dad, can we put Mom in front of a show?"  I howled.  That's so often what we'll say if the toddlers are out of control, "Can we put J in front of a show?  He's acting crazy!" That statement from my daughter came to my mind in the middle of church last night and I actually snickered out loud.  I think it's great that they think their mom is nutty enough to put her in front of a show to calm her down.  Well, better a crazy mom than an angry one!

So, I'm a Grandma.  That's right, a Grandma, but not the usual kind, a spiritual one.  This is Heather's story....

Heather is a girl I met about 5 years ago when we first moved to the Niagara area.  She was dating Stephanie's brother at the time.  They were both in highschool, just finishing up their last year.  It seemed like things were going great, but for some reason they broke up a couple years ago.  Neither of them were Christians, though Heather had been raised in a church-going home as well as Michael. They both knew the truth, but either didn't fully grasp it or had rejected it for reasons I don't fully know.

During this time, Stephanie and I had become fast friends (my bffc, remember?).  Her life had turned around.  She'd found Christ as her personal Saviour, met Andrew and now has two kids of her own. During the time Heather was dating her brother, Stephanie and Heather also became fast friends. Heather is very likable.  She's actually one of the nicest people I know - beautiful on the inside and out.

After things ended with Stephanie's brother, it seems natural that Stephanie would have no longer seen Heather, but that wasn't the case at all.  Heather seemed drawn to Stephanie.  She observed her life and I'm sure she knew something was different.  Did she have something Heather longed for, but couldn't quite put her finger on it?  At first glance, you would think Heather was a downtown clubbing type of girl as she's a pretty slick chick, but there she was, spending her time, not in clubs, but with Stephanie.  She picked a slightly older mom to hang with and her kids and her husband.....sound familiar?????

Heather was there when Andrew first came on the scene.  I'm sure Heather was probably excited to think Stephanie had a "boyfriend".  She probably thought they would "date" for a couple years, then get engaged for a year, then get married and have kids a few years after that.....but no, Andrew not only suggested courtship where there was no touching, but proposed marriage within two weeks, and a wedding a few months after that, and, sure enough, a honeymoon baby came shortly after.....Heather was blown away.  What is courtship?  No touching?!  Aren't you going back to work? What about waiting to have babies?  Two babies?  Stephanie couldn't keep up with the questions. But she loved it.  Heather was asking all the same questions she had asked only a few years earlier.  She loved being on the other end of the questions now and happily, patiently answered every single one. Heather was truly fascinated by Stephanie and the two of them loved hanging out together.

Then Stephanie's mom got sick.  Heather now saw Stephanie go through the trial of her life.  Perhaps she thought to herself, "This will be the thing that sinks her faith."  But it wasn't.  Stephanie's faith shone through brightly.  Heather was one of the caregivers of her children during this difficult time. Heather observed it all.  She also watched how Stephanie's mom's faith was so strong as well.  She gave God all the glory and trusted Him for her strength even though she knew she was dying.  Her faith in God was so obvious through it all.  Her funeral was a tremendous testimony, as well, to her faith and Heather heard everything the pastor said that day, too, as he pointed everyone to Christ in his sermon.  I actually thought to myself, "How could anyone deny a God after hearing it put that way?"

Sometime in the last few weeks, Heather suggested that she and Stephanie do a book club, just the two of them.  Wow, ok - how about Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis?  Sure!  So, they started to meet every week to intentionally talk about the book.  Then, it was suggested that they do a Bible Study together!  By this point, Stephanie wondered what was going on...was her heart turning?  Had she crossed the line of faith in Christ without her even knowing it?  So Stephanie started to press her, ask more questions to find out where she was at.  This whole time Stephanie and I had been meeting over the last year or two specifically praying for Heather.

As Stephanie started to probe, Heather started to give answers that blew Stephanie out of the water - she, perhaps didn't have a full understanding, but she knew she was a sinner and she knew only Christ could save her.  This realization amazed her that she had only understood it now - the scales came off her eyes.  She needed a Saviour and she found Him!  Suddenly, everything made sense!  Now, she had a hunger for knowledge more than ever.  She started to immediately make changes in her life - specifically with regards to boys.  We like to tease her that she dates only American Eagle models, but it's true!  She's a very attractive girl and very attractive boys are drawn to her - no more, she said. She was starting to prepare herself now for a husband, not just a bunch of guys to date anymore just for fun.  One statement she made was quite profound after she came to faith, "I used to think," she said, "that life had no meaning or purpose.  You were like an animal, meant to live and then simply die.  Now I realize my life has purpose!"  How amazing!

She lives with several other girls, much like herself, or the way she used to be, good girls, nominal Christians, not realizing their faith could be even more real to them. When Stephanie first started to meet with Heather at her house to do the Bible Study, Stephanie just assumed that they would meet privately in her room, but no, Heather had it set up such that they would meet openly in the main sitting area where the other girls were able to watch, observe or even participate.  Stephanie was sure they wouldn't want to come, but sure enough, they do!  Sometimes it'll just be for a few minutes or for a few questions, but each one has seen what is going on and they are seeing the amazing changes in Heather.  They wonder, I'm sure, what has happened to their friend!

Stephanie called me to tell me all that had happened and we were both just praising God at how He had used her in Heather's life.  I have only had a few brief conversations with Heather and never really about spiritual things, yet God used me, too!  That's what makes me a Grandma.  My spiritual child was Stephanie, by God's grace.  Then, she in turn, influenced Heather to salvation - my spiritual granddaughter!  That's what Jesus meant when He said, "Go and make disciples..."  I was so privileged to play a part in Stephanie's life and now she is doing the same with others!  Heather is now doing it with the girls in her house!  It is so amazing!  Francis Chan and David Platt called it, "Multiply".  We are called to multiply, in a spiritual sense, not just physically.  Much earlier in the blog, I wrote about what I liked to call "The Multiplication Effect" - God loves math!  He loves to multiply!  He takes what I can offer, which isn't much, a little time here, a short prayer of desperation there, and He multiplies it - It must be God's favourite thing to do.  I even read in Genesis the other day how Isaac planted a field and then God multiplied it one hundredfold.  He is in the business of multiplying.

So, those are my two amazing stories of friendship and discipleship - Jen and Heather - both miracles of God's goodness and true examples of answers to prayer.  In both cases, it wasn't overnight - it was a process of discipleship, fighting the darkness through prayer - Satan longed to discourage all of us in the journey.  But we fought back through regular prayer and trusting Him, knowing He would be faithful if we remained faithful.  All this, by being a mom in my own home.  I used to think when I first decided to stay home and homeschool that God would never be able to use me again until I was back leading a study or doing a "ministry".  He has shown me that I can still be used, even evangelizing, by simply being at home, managing my children, trying to keep my house somewhat clean.....that is cool!!!!  I love that!  So, I wonder what is next - who will God bring into my life next?!  I'm open.

He Longs to be Gracious to Us

Jen's story continues....but first, I do want people to know that I get full permission to share her story. Even Roger knows I'm writing.  The tie-in as usual to debt (i.e., the title of this blog?!) is not always financial as anyone who has read more than one post will have noticed.  Debt is not always a monetary thing.  You can be in debt to fear or bad decisions, and it leaves you in a place of bondage that makes you feel there is no way out , i.e., this is how my life will look for the rest of my future. At some point in time, both Jen and Roger thought that, but the beauty of Christ and the praying Church is that is not how their story ended.  Read on.....

Roger admitted to himself, he liked Jen, or at least he was interested in her.  He hadn't really talked with her much, but from what he saw and the brief interactions he'd had with her, there was a spark. But, just like that, it was gone.  He suddenly decided, no, no interest.  She's not for me.  This is where it was either cold feet, fear, or a bad habit of thinking negatively, but just like that he gave up.

That was when he got quite the talking to from his sister-in-law.  Roger did not like her input very much and left quite angry, but later, Roger wondered if anything she said was true - was he going to miss out?  Perhaps he was fearful, not trusting God.  He was afraid to hurt her and probably to get hurt himself.  Then a thought occurred to him, he would never know if Jen wasn't meant to be for him without giving it a complete 100% effort, which he had never done in his life with any girl.  I attribute this change of thought to prayer and prayer alone.  Jen, too, had been fasting prior to this - she didn't know Roger when she first started the fast or  perhaps all the reasons why she was fasting. She just was.  She just knew something needed to change in her life.  Perhaps without understanding the full scope of the purpose of her fasting, I believe it had an impact on Roger. The funny though, was one of the reasons he was willing to give 100% was to get his in-laws off his back.  He knew it wouldn't work out, so this way he could say, "I gave it 100% and it still didn't work out - now leave me alone."  But God had other plans for him.

Roger's brother and his wife would invite him and Jen over all the time and many Fridays were spent at their place as they slowly got to know one another.  He was still being careful, but it was a whole new way of behaving for him, so patience was required!  Jen was super frustrated and checked in with me quite often.  I would take it to the girls and we would pray!  We were regularly praying for this man who was really bugging all of us by this point!

Then the Christmas season.  He and Jen went to a Christmas concert together and out to a restaurant afterwards.  She was emotionally upset about something that night and was clearly sad.  He found himself longing to comfort her and suddenly he realized he was feeling compassion towards her, something he hadn't felt before towards a woman.  He was like the Grinch - that night his heart grew so big, it nearly burst out of his shirt!  That was the turning point for him.

They started to talk, text, get together regularly on their own - no more help from brothers and sisters-in-law.  He heard her story, she heard his.  I wasn't sure all that was going on at this point and checked in with her.  She assured me, with a big grin on her face, "Things are good!!!"  We just kept praying and waiting to see how this would all unfold.

Well, it sure unfolded fast!  This past Friday, when I was out at my sister's, I got a text from Jen saying, "Answer this text ASAP!!!!?????"  I didn't get the text as I was out and had put my phone away! The next morning I read it and immediately texted her back telling her to wake up and tell me what was going on!  She finally did and the words on the phone were "As of last night, Roger and I officially courting!"

I picked up the phone and called her immediately.  She told me the whole story and I cried.  I couldn't believe it.  She said he had said, "I am intending this as a courtship that ends in marriage (or something like that!  I don't know his exact words!)"  As far as I was concerned, she was telling me they were getting married.  It is a done deal in my mind and I couldn't believe God had done it, He'd answered our prayers.  All the tears she had cried, never thinking it could happen to her.  She met a godly man who is now going to love her and care for her, all the things she longs for.  Only God could do that.  We certainly weren't the only ones who prayed for her or for Roger.  There's no way to know how it all came together in the spiritual world, but all I know is it did.

It turns out on the Friday night, once they had made it official that they were a couple, preparing for marriage, they wanted to go and tell everyone they knew what God had done.  We had been gone that night and, much to my disappointment, I found out on the Saturday that they had all come by the farm on the Friday night with Jen, Roger, the brother and sister-in law....everyone who had been following the saga so closely!  I wish I had been home!!!  But, to make up for it, Roger and Jen came by on Monday to fill us in.

It was like seeing two entirely different people.  First of all, besides the glowing on their faces, they were all giggly (some Jens more than others!).  They were also clearly nuts about each other.  Roger just kept saying things like, "Look at her!  She's so beautiful!!!"  or "I've always loved the name Jennifer."  Oh my goodness. I've since heard his teenage nephews think it is all a little too much for them and find it borderline disgusting how lovey-dovey they are!  My little girls sat on the couch beside them as they told their story with absolute wonder in their eyes.  I think what was so amazing and touching was hearing the story from Roger's perspective - that poor man could barely get two sentences out and tears would come, over and over.  He was so moved by God's goodness to him, that he was constantly overwhelmed with emotion.  I couldn't help but cry along with him.  "God is so good!" he would say, "I can't believe he's chosen to give me this blessing in my life now!"  So beautiful.

A miracle was sitting on my couch that day - a true miracle.  Anyone who knew Roger had pretty much given up - at 51, it seemed love was never going to enter into his life.  None of us have known Jen very long, but I'm sure she felt it would never happen to her either.  My little girls sat there, knowing they had been part of the miracle.  They got to see that God does miracles in peoples' lives, right before their very eyes!  How can we doubt God's goodness to us, how?  He doesn't have to bless us with marriage, but He does!  It is so exciting to live this Christian life, so full of gifts from above!

A verse came to me while they sat there that I shared with them.  I had read this same verse in Isaiah the same week I got a call to go on the first date with my future husband, twenty years ago, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you."  I, too, had been longing to be married and was in the Word praying about it when I came across that verse.  It had been such an encouragement to me.  That week Renaissance Man called me and the rest is history.  God doesn't hold back blessings from us! He longs to be gracious to us!  Yes, the Christian life can be hard, but if we look around us, don't we see His goodness in so many areas of our life?  He longs to be gracious to us and He is gracious to us...all the time!  I think some look at God as a big "meany", but that isn't the God I know.  God was gracious to our sweet friend, Jennifer, and to this patient man, Roger. We all thank God for His kindness to them.

Now, my girls are a mess with excitement - ask her, Roger!  Ask her!  Make it official!  We want to plan a wedding!  Will it be on the farm or in a church?!  Come on, we've got plans to make!!!!  We love you both and can't wait for the big day, so get a move on it!  :)

Jen's Story

I have two great stories about two great girls this week, Jen and Heather.  I've only known both young women for a very short time, but so much has happened in their lives I have to write about it.  The reason both of them have become very special to me as well is because God has given me a very special privilege to be just a wee small part of all that has gone on.

First, Jen.....She arrived at our church, a single lady, and sat in a bench by herself last March.  That is super unusual as we are a "large family/majority homeschooled" type of church - not too many singles except all the children!  But there she sat.  I should probably mention she had quite a few tatoos up and down her arms which were hard not to notice.  Very pretty.  Long, straight, high-lighted hair.  She definitely stood out.

She was spoken to immediately after the service by another mom who was very friendly and almost right away I saw tears come out of her eyes. I didn't catch her full story, but I could tell she had one. She met with the pastor right away, too.

She kept coming to church.  It wasn't until May that I actually was able to get her over to our house, by this point I had heard bits and pieces of her story, but I knew I needed to hear the whole thing and directly from her.  I think she was shocked to be invited.  Not sure, but she seemed excited to come. That Monday, she came over for dinner and I got the story.

She was a new believer.  She had just left a different church that was kind of off-base doctrinally, and even as a new believer, she could tell something wasn't right.  I can't remember how she even came to find our little church, but right away, she knew she should be there.  She had been married before when she was much younger and an unbeliever, (she was now in her late 30s).  She'd been married for only 6 years,  and the whole time her husband, turns out, was a drug dealer, drug addict (and all sorts of other bad addictions)  bad guy.  She left him.

On her own again, her brother suggested she try a career as a personal support worker.  This was a very positive change in her life and after the training was over she ended up working taking care of seniors in their homes.  Jen was suffering during this whole time, however.  She was very upset with the way her life had turned out, but she kept it to herself.  One time, she found herself taking care of a sweet, older couple in their 80s.  Right away she could tell there was something different about them - they were Christians.  After many months of working for them and living in a constant state of sadness, the older lady noticed her being so sad and said to her, "You know you need the Lord, don't you?"  Jen broke down.  This senior couple in her life was the instrument God used to save her.  So wonderful.  For many years after that Jen would be in touch or they would call her to find out how she was doing right up until the older man died.  His wife is still alive, I believe.

Jen found a church and was now very interested in marriage, but this time to a Christian.  As so many do, she turned to internet dating as it is so hard to find a Christian spouse these days, it seems.  She thought she had found a decent guy. but the long story short is - he wasn't.  They never even lived a day together.  She was required to get paper work to move to the States where he was located.  He was supposedly there waiting for her.  When she tried to be in contact with him, he basically told her, "I don't love you.  The marriage is over."  She was dumbfounded.  She spent the next few months trying to be in touch with him to no avail.  He didn't want to be married it turned out.  Legally they weren't married in the eyes of the law as they hadn't shared a residence together.  It was legally dissolved this past July.

Enter in our family back in May.  As she sat there telling us her story, my younger girls were flitting about her.  My six year old was immediately drawn to her and kept coming out to us with little drawings she had made for her.  Then, as we walked around the farm, she would snuggle up by Jen, trying to walk beside her or hold her hand.  It was a beautiful day, the animals were loud and active and Jen seemed to be just soaking it all in.  She must have taken a dozen pictures with her phone that she kept sending to her mom of chickens or cats or cows.  I don't remember all I said to her, but I know my primary purpose that day was to offer her hope and friendship and that she would know we wanted to be in her life in some way.  We ate dinner and then she left shortly afterwards.

It was the next day or so that she sent a beautiful email saying how she had enjoyed her time so much and that she felt her heart had started to heal after that day.  So sweet.  The following Sunday, I went up to her, still hardly knowing her and I told her, "You need to fast."  "I can't fast, I'm diabetic."  "You can fast something!"  I explained to her what I meant and why I thought she needed to do this.  I was so excited for her and I explained how fasting can be used to break bonds of oppression in her life, be it confusion about relationships, direction in life, or just knowing God better.  She immediately knew what she should do and let me know the next day - she was giving up Facebook.  She started to replace that time with listening to sermons and reading her Bible.  That's all she did in her spare time for awhile.

Shortly after that, I got an "emergency" email asking for my commitment to help her, to pray for her, to find a godly husband.  Amen!  That's what I am all about!  I told her I would, not knowing how that could be possible as I really didn't know any single guys, and even got my girls on board praying, especially the six year old.  She's a little prayer warrior and because she loved Jen so much it was easy for her.  I wish I had a recording of the way she prayed - her prayers were so simple, so sweet, "Dear Lord, please find Jen a husband who is nice and who treats her nice, not like those other bad husbands."  I was so touched.  If Jen could have only heard her sweet little prayers, she would have known everything was going to be alright.

At some point I gave her a book we sell on courtship that is a fictional story about a young woman who longs to be married and an older Christian man who has waited for the right girl to come along and never found the right one.  It goes through their whole courtship story and how they prayed without knowing the other person's prayers.  It was a book that was very inspiring to my bffc, too, and has had a dramatic impact on myself as well, as I long for my children to experience a courtship without all the pain of dating.  Jen was inspired to stop pining for a husband and to take all of her desires and thoughts of a husband to the Lord.  She was learning the lesson of waiting and being content in the process.

Now, go back 5 years.  I met Roger through friends in our church.  He was the identical twin brother to a fellow we knew, but had never been married.  He seemed like a nice enough guy.  He pastored a church on the weekends and worked for a delivery company during the week.  From what I understood he could have been married, but was just too picky, his sister-in-law and brother would say.  I met a couple single girls that I thought were perfect for him and told him about them.  He wouldn't hear of it.  They weren't for him he said.  I told him that I was committed to praying for him though despite the fact I felt he was a little too stubborn!  I really did pray for him quite intensely for awhile there.  I knew he wanted to be married.  Somehow over the past 5 years, our paths would cross and sometimes I would tease him or lecture him, but he remained faithful to not settling for just any girl just because I, or anyone else, thought he should.  It seemed he would be single for life.

Once in awhile he showed up at our church if he wasn't preaching at his own.  He liked seeing his brother and his family and he knew everyone in our church quite well.  Roger apparently noticed Jen right away.  She didn't notice him!  Until he talked....he answered a question in a discussion one Sunday evening about the passage we were studying - his love for God shone through and Jen had to turn around and see who had said it.  Her eyes were opened to this man.  She talked to me about him and my eyes got big.  Roger.  Could it be him?  Could he be for her?  I couldn't believe it.  I ramped up the praying big time and called on the girls to start specifically praying for his name.

He was taking his sweet time in my opinion to speak to her, but he was fearful, I found out later, and not necessarily convinced she was right for him.  He wrote it off as not meant to be until his brother and sister-in-law gave him a "Don't-mess-this-one-up type of talk" and strongly encouraged him to go for it!  For the first time in Roger's life, he did - full speed ahead.

Tomorrow - the rest of the story.....

On Becoming a Morning Person, God's Provision and No Fear

How to become a morning person.....make sure your kids have really weird dreams in the middle of the night that make them yell out at a brother and make you go running into the room to see if they're ok....You are guaranteed to have trouble going back to sleep yourself and you will find yourself waiting for the alarm to go off!!!!!  Next, make sure you have lots to drink right before bed.  This will guarantee that you are so uncomfortable in the wee hours of the morning that you will be forced to wake up as you need to make a trip to the bathroom!

All of this works wonderfully if you want to become a morning person!  I laugh as I actually read a post on how to become a morning person yesterday and they didn't write what I just wrote!  The things I would write are in the above paragraph and happen to me on a regular basis.  My kids have the strangest dreams that make them cry out (often in anger at their siblings!).  I should just learn to not get out of bed, but sometimes they don't stop, so I have to go in to their rooms to tell them they are dreaming. It's kind of funny except that I do love sleeping at night.  This tends to be super disruptive to my sleep and if it is right before I'm supposed to wake up then I lie there wishing I could fall asleep again, but I end up tossing and turning.  The bathroom thing is true, too.

I do love being a morning person.  I end up being a tired afternoon person, but will try to grab 15 min at some point and that's all I need to make it through the rest of the day.  I really do go to bed much earlier than the average person I'm told, but lately, my older teens have become the classic chatty kids late at night.  You can't get them to go to bed.  I've tried.  They won't stop talking.  I've tried to get that to stop, too.  My older son will actually tell me, "No, Mom!  I love talking to you guys!  I never get to do this!  The little ones are always so loud and running around interrupting!"  How do you say no that?  So last night I was up until 11 pm which is waaaaay past what I like to do, but when these two like to talk, we are really trying to sit and listen and it is nice and there are way less interruptions! I know these days will not last forever, so I really do embrace them, but it impacts my mornings for sure!

We have been busy this week prepping for the trip to New York.  We are trying to do as much as we can on the cheap, but we are still finding it super expensive.  We don't regret the decision to go, just that it costs more than we bargained on.  Travel insurance, oil changes, new wipers, gas!  Plus, I wanted my kids to go without holes in their jeans.  Guess what...all of their jeans have holes, or so it suddenly seemed, so off we went to the store last night.  But I was grateful, so grateful for that store that sells great clothes second hand, "Plato's Closet".  We found several pairs of jeans, a couple sweaters, two amazing pairs of shoes, a hoodie, a dress shirt and it all added up to $135, if I remember correctly.  At a regular store, that might have bought two pairs of jeans - that's it, so yes, it wasn't free, but we felt it was good quality stuff we had bought.  I had a 20% off coupon on top of that, so an even better savings.

Then I went to the second hand child's store (there are two - one for youth and one for kids) and the jeans were $1!!!  I was excited.  "Who else needs jeans??!!!!"  I quickly picked up a few jeans, a winter jacket (one of our horses loves to play with zippers on coats - can't explain it - and he ruined the zipper on my son's coat so he could no longer zip it up!  I also got some shirts for my son who only has stained ones it seems and that all added up to $37 - again, not free, but not bad for the amount of things I bought.  I shop so rarely for clothes as we have been given so much from friends and family who have bigger or older boys.  This was unusual to have to head out, but necessary.  I forced my husband to pick a sweater or two as lately all he wears is "Camo".  That is fine for the Duck Dynasty guy, but I really don't like camo on my husband.  So he listened to me and now he'll be a little easier on the eyes!

I read about how Hudson Taylor's belongings got stolen by one of his Chinese helpers.  It amounted to a significant sum of money.  He prayed that God would convict the man to return it, but it never showed up.  Instead, he got an unexpected letter in the mail that had been sent from Europe 6 weeks earlier for the exact amount that his stolen luggage was worth.  This showed Taylor that not only did God provide for his needs, but he knew what they were even before his things were stolen!  God had moved in his friend's heart to send the money at just the right time so it would arrive when he needed it - even allowing for the 6 weeks of travel time!

I know this is the case for us, too.  My husband is a strong man.  He is not afraid of anything. But, Satan can has found that he can make my husband fearful in one area, the fear of not being able to provide.  My husband recognizes this and has determined to nip it in the bud.  He will see all that we are spending, but knows that we must spend it to keep our vehicle running, to be safe, or to dress our children in clothes so that they are not homeless looking, or to buy the insurance that is necessary, etc., and instead of thinking, "Oh no, our bank account is dropping - we'll never be able to pay the people we owe, or where will the money come next, or what if, what if, what if........????"  Now, he recognizes it is a lack of trust in God - He'll speak to himself and say, "God knows our needs.  He'll provide what we need.  I don't need to be afraid."  This has always been the case in our twenty years of marriage - always.  We've never truly gone without.

So, off they'll go to New York this weekend - with 11 chapters of Acts under their belts.  They are going to have an amazing opportunity to interact with other youth that memorize God's Word and they'll have fun, too.  I will be here with the younger 5.  There will be lots to do - We have two ice surfaces to skate on, the pond and a rink my husband and boys made.  Plus, my sister's husband is away, too, so I may meet up with her and her kids which will be fun.  Even that is a provision by God - sister/cousin time!   Maybe they'll even bring back a medal........

A Push to Pray - Non-Stop

This year I did our annual Christmas letter via email.  There are definite benefits to that as I can include more colour photos of our family and my ridiculously long letter can go on and on without weighing in at a pound at Canada Post.  I actually emailed a printer to see how much it would cost, just for 25 copies of my letter, double-sided, colour copies.  It was $70 to print it off.  I went with the email copy!  This leaves me in a funny quandary.  I always enjoy getting a hard copy of a photo and I enjoy sending them, so this year, I decided, crazy though it may seem, I'll do both - the email letter and the hard copy photo.  It's not that I think that people want to see our family photo sooooo badly! I've been raised to stay in touch with people!

When my folks were first married, they went off to Africa, as I wrote before.  That required financial supporters.  When they returned, they joined staff with Campus Crusade for Christ.  That required raising financial support as well.  They had people all around the world supporting them.  This, in turn, required them to be accountable to these supporters by showing them all that God was doing through their support, as well as giving updates on the family, etc.  Thus, the prayer letter was born. It's a funny memory I have, sitting around the dining room table, all of us stuffing envelopes, writing addresses by hand (no computers!), sticking on rolls and rolls of envelopes.  Once in a while my mom would have us write a little paragraph about ourselves.  I kind of enjoyed it!  There were always pictures photocopied into the letter, too.

Then, on our annual Staff Training trip out west, we would stop in and visit as many supporters as we knew.  We did this for so many years in a row that I made friends with quite a few of the girls that lived in these homes and we became pen pals.  I still write these girls now who all have families of their own.  As we plan our trip to North Carolina, we'll be going to the state where I know quite a few friends.  My husband braces himself as I've been trained to visit every friend I've ever made along the way!  He doesn't get it, but like I said, I've been raised to stay in touch with people, at any cost!  Even if it means going 600 km out of the way!

The other reason I started to write these other hard copy/snail mail letters was because in all the breaking down of lap tops over the last year or two, I've lost email contact info, but not the actual address book I've kept for years.  That I still have.  So I have found myself loving this process of actually writing letters which I used to do all the time when I was younger.  As I went through my address book, I came across names of people I haven't been in touch with for a long time.  I thought to myself, "Why not?  I love getting mail.  I'll write a quick note to them, too!"  Then, as letter after letter got written I realized I remembered certain struggles some families had been going through and I started to pray for each family that I wrote to.  Then, my letters started to turn into encouragement cards.  I wanted these friends to know I was praying for them that even though I hadn't been in touch with them, it was as if God was reminding me to pray by literally going through my address book. Some friends I had prayed for twenty years ago - I realized I need to keep praying for these people!

Then, the other night, after all of these horrible attacks had happened in the world.  We were talking as a family about them.  My kids were very upset.  We pointed out how yes, 12 people were killed in France, but what about the 2000+ in Nigeria!  No one seems to care about them!  We prayed for the international needs of the world that night.  Then I reminded my husband about the prayer boxes Nancy Campbell had talked about where she suggested we make these boxes filled with names of family and then another box could be international needs, etc.  We decided once and for all to do this that night.  We'd always prayed for family and friends, but not so intentionally.  For a lot of my married life I've divided the days of the week into specific things to pray for - Monday - family, Tuesday - friends, Wednesday - neighbours, Thursday - missionaries, Friday - international needs, Saturday - pastor/family, Sunday - church family.  We've followed this somewhat inconsistently as I've never actually written all the international needs out, etc., but now, I think we are actually going to make boxes for each area and pray for a specific group of needs each night.  This way, I'm going to actually pray for these friends out of the address book!  I'm going to add them to the box so I make sure I really am praying for them and not just once a year at Christmas time.

I'm nearly finished the book on Hudson Taylor.  Certainly, the thing all the missionary books have in common has to be the power of prayer.  In most cases, God is literally all they have, which isn't to say He isn't enough, but they can certainly not rely on themselves or money or others.  God always came through and moved mightily.  We've seen that in our lives.  I challenged the kids, as we started praying more intently this week yet again, to watch for what God does as we specifically pray for all these areas.

All this because of a letter writing campaign!  I like to think letter writing is quite Biblical actually seeing as most of the New Testament is a whole series of letters!  I took it as a reminder to pray, not just to keep friends in the loop or to see how the kids have grown up.  I felt it was not just a nudge, but a huge push to pray - and to not stop.

A Perfect Day

My husband's comments last night as we watched our four year old wrestle with the 15 year old made me laugh out loud.  He thinks he will ultimately get a job being blasted out of a cannon at a circus.  It was such a funny image!  But, I could see it!

This past weekend was the second Bible Quiz meet of the year, falling, as I've written about, on my daughter's birthday.  Well, it couldn't have gone better, in my opinion.  First, the whole gang (the 5 older children enjoyed a bagel out with dad as they had to set up super early for worship leading.  It was our turn to lead worship as our team was hosting.  This in itself was so great.  My daughter led on piano, my son did the percussion.  Two of their friends played guitar and mandolin while two others did violin.  All sang.  It was awesome!

When the morning started, the host/mc got up and announced he knew it was someone's birthday in the room.  Sure enough, all 75 kids sang to my daughter.  I think that would have been totally embarrassing, but deep down, I bet she loved it.

At noon, she was supposed to be surprised by Stephanie, but Stephanie got sick with food poisoning, so couldn't make it!  But she still went out, but with my husband - a close second!  Meanwhile, the whole day, she was with her friends, actually getting a few jumps for her team in quizzing and all in all having a great day.  She ended up with her sister at her friend's house until late at night and I think that was the perfect ending.

Meanwhile, her brothers were also enjoying a very serious Bible Quizzing day.  They had prepared so diligently, I had prayed they would be rewarded for all their hard work.  My younger son, 13, was a ball of nerves which may have cost him in precision.  He did well, but he's still new at this, so didn't fare as well as his older brother.  My older son, 15, is now a veteran quizzer, in his 3rd year and had what is called, literally, "A Perfect Day".  It means he didn't make one mistake.  Every time he jumped he was able to answer it or quote it perfectly.  I wish I'd been there to see it.  It is quite rare to have a perfect day (in life, too!).  It only happens once or twice a year for all quizzers.  He was sooooo excited as he knew he was going win the medal for best quizzer that day.  His coach knew. My husband knew. My daughter knew.  But somehow, the scorekeepers didn't know.  And the medal for best quizzer goes to....."Katrina!"  Uh, that's not my son's name.  Everyone was so confused. They all knew she hadn't had a perfect day, so why was she winning it?

After she got her medal, my son's coach went up to the scorekeepers and said, "J had a perfect day. Shouldn't he have won it?"  Oh dear.  They quickly figured it out, and went back up on stage to say there had been a mistake!  They didn't take the medal off the other girl (that would have been bad!), but made sure everyone knew J had won.  Still, he came home, looking so defeated.  I think he felt he didn't get truly acknowledged for all his hard work.  My goodness - God is in the work of sanctifying my kids.

I immediately could see God was keeping this boy humbled.  He wanted all the glory!  Well, who wouldn't I suppose in this case.  Here, he knew he'd put in the hours, the hard core studying of 11 chapters, perfected, memorized verbatim from Acts.  Then, he actually wins!  Out of all 75 kids, he's the winner!  He must have been so proud!  But, no, God didn't allow him to get the public acknowledgement he had hoped for.  It's hard to understand why those things happen.  In the meantime, he has to wait now until March for his medal.  I think it will be made up to him then.  It took away some of the excitement of winning by not getting acknowledged on the day, but God just wants him to wait, to work hard, in spite of the lack of reward before men.

On a more humourous note, I was back at base camp with the younger three.  I love those days when I feel like a young mom of 3 under 6 again.  Now, I eat up these 3 little ones, knowing they will not be little for long.  It was the best day ever.  They played blocks and cars and things like that for awhile.  Then, I made them a fun "Quiz Day " breakfast - crepes with nutella and mango.  We always eat that on someone's birthday.  Too bad if the birthday girl wasn't there!

Then, shortly after, my youngest, went for an early nap as he'd been up since 5:30, so by 10 he was already in bed.  This was when the fun started!  The 4 year old went for a tub.  He looooooves tubs and even moreso when he gets it all to himself.  I always fill it super full and off he goes, "swimming".  All the drywall around the tub is ruined thanks to his antics, but my bathroom floor is usually quite clean because of all the splashing!  He called me in to show me how he could open his eyes under water.  Suddenly, an idea dawned on me, "Do you want me to go get your goggles?" His eyes got so big with excitement!  "SURE!!!!"  So, I went down, found the goggles (thank goodness I knew where I'd put them) and gave them to him.  I am NOT exaggerating, for the next two plus hours, he "swam" in the tub!!!  So much so that I even drained some of the water out and had to refill it again because it got so cold!  He missed lunch, snack, everything. Just swimming and then swimming some more.  I couldn't believe how much fun he was having.  The two year old finally woke up and then joined him in the "pool", much to his brother's frustration.  Now I had to get more goggles.  But this time, the two year just wore them on his eyes, no going under water, so that was even funnier.  What a great bunch of pictures we got.  I love main floor bathtubs!!!!!

The fun didn't stop there.  After lunch (we had subs, another quiz day tradition, homemade - they love subs!), my 6 year old decided she wanted to be a pirate.  She never says that, but oddly enough, we have pirate costumes that were given to us, so off they went, being pirates.  Once again, a funny idea occurred to me, "Do you want me to get you a hook?"  "SURE!!!!"  So, I went into the drawer, and pulled out my bread maker/hook attachment and the next thing you know Captain Hook is in the house!  My 4 year old son went around as Hook all. day. long.  It was the funniest thing!  To top it off, I let them watch Peter Pan and the day was complete.  My son went to bed with his goggles on his head, his pirate costume on and a bread attachment hook on his hand.  He had had a perfect quiz day, too.

I was so grateful.  God gave me ideas all day long as to how to keep these little people busy.  I don't remember any real conflict between those little people that day.  I, too, had had a perfect quiz day and felt we all should have gotten medals!

Cats, Birthdays and Future Spouses

Depending on the time of day, I love or hate cats.  Today, I hate them.  I don't usually stay up late, but I did last night talking with my husband and oldest daughter, but I had been up super early yesterday so I knew I would need to sleep in a bit today, perhaps all the way to 7 am!  But no, the cat who was stolen, which has since returned (of his own accord, I might add.....a story in itself), decided to wake up my two year old and the 4 year old this morning by going on their beds, I think anyway....All I know is there was screaming at a very not nice time of the morning and a criminal-type cat sneaking out of the room. I was so out of it.  I think I might have kicked a cat down the stairs as I saw it leaving the room.  I wanted to throw it. I tried so hard to settle them both back down, but it was no use.  One is now playing with Lego with me downstairs.  I did manage to convince the other one to sleep with his sister.  I feel rather awful and may need a coffee transfusion.  When will I get a chance to lie down today????  I'm already planning my nap.  Ah well, now that I have a few sips of coffee in me and I'm not as unconscious, I can actually be pleasant and happy around this fully awake boy!

Yesterday took a bit of a twist.  I was so certain my daughter would be thrilled with this idea of accompanying her dad and brothers on their Bible Quiz trip, but shockingly (the idea slipped out by accident a little earlier than planned), I could tell by the reaction on her face, it wasn't where she had hoped to go.  I kept praying.  How do I deal with this????  She was no longer a little girl who used to be content to have Grammy come over or a cousin or a friend.  Now it had to be something bigger. She had an idea in her mind that she wanted and I could tell that she was put out as it didn't look like she was going to get her way.  I didn't like what I was seeing in her.

I give great lectures!  I knew she didn't want or need a lecture, but at the same time, I knew if I didn't deal with this fast, she was going to be a monster.  Bless my mom's heart, she raised us all to love birthdays.  From the moment we woke up we felt special right until we fell asleep at night.  My husband wasn't exactly raised that way.  He remembers maybe one party?  I think he got one when he turned 10.  When we got married, I guess I hoped for a special day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed.  I didn't even know I had expectations until they weren't fulfilled.  Oops.

Then kids came along.  Same thing.  I wanted to recreate what I had experienced and make them feel special all day and to some extent I think I was successful except that it appears things may have back-fired a bit judging by my daughter's reactions.  That's when it hit me yesterday.  She's got to nip this in the bud now or she'll have birthday/marriage tension as she may marry someone who has never had a birthday his whole life!

We talked.  I explained God knew from the beginning of time that her birthday was going to be the same day of the quiz meet.  I told her that perhaps God was trying to take the selfishness out of her this year by allowing that to be the first act of her 17th year.  She was holding on so tightly to her rights.  I explained she had to let go now for the sake of the whole family, for the sake of a future spouse and for her own happiness!  Nothing will truly satisfy except God.  Not even the birthday weekend of the century will bring true happiness.  When all is said and done, she'll still be discontent and will always long for more if she doesn't get a grip on her selfishness now!

We prayed.  Her siblings prayed for her.  It was sweet.  But deep down, of course, I still wanted her to be happy and, of course, I still wanted her to be blessed.  So I kept praying for her all day.  Then I got a call out of the blue from Stephanie, my bffc (best friend forever cousin!) saying she wanted to do something for her on the day.  That was perfect!  So, on the day of the quiz meet, Stephanie is going to show up and take her out - another neat answer to prayer.  Then, shortly after, my mom called.  I explained the situation and she gave the perfect advice, confirming what I had been thinking...allowing my daughter to spend time with one of the girls from Bible Quizzing as we'd all be together the next morning as a family.  That made my daughter super happy.  So once again, in a very short period of time, all was resolved again.  My daughter had gone through a life lesson in one day learning to let her birthday expectations be given to God, allowing Him to work out all details of her life.  It may seem like a small thing, but anyone who is married and loves birthdays, knows this is no small thing.  One day her husband will thank me....

I Can Go to China

This was a funny thing to leave out yesterday when I wrote of what we were daring to ask God, but we also asked for boldness in our faith.  I included gospel tracts at Christmas in each card I gave the neighbours as well as the baking.  Usually I get some of the neighbours reciprocating in some way, either a card, or even baking themselves.  This year.....nothing!  Oh dear.  We'll see what becomes of this as I eventually run into all of them at some point in the spring or summer.  Praying again!

I forgot to do this along with the budget.  I'm supposed to be keeping better track of all the meals I make so that I can figure out what each meal costs.  I'll have to see if the kids can go back a whole week and remember all the meals....should be interesting.

This year, I'm also going to keep a written record of our days.  So often, at the end of a week, someone will ask me, "So, how was your week?"  I can often never remember?!  I'll say, "I think it was good?"  and I can't recall anything we did!  One year I did this - I actually would write down each thing we did as the days went by, even if it was just going to the library or even staying home. At the end of the year when we sat together as a family and tried to remember what had happened that year, I pulled out the calendar and there it was....our whole year written down!  It was fantastic to look back and see all the things we'd done, the places we'd gone, the people we'd had over.  Many things we'd completely forgotten and it was a great way to brings things to our mind again.  We could really thank God more specifically for His goodness to us in so many ways.  I'm planning on doing that again this year.

I also have written down all our requests some years, on the calendar as well (well, it's a notebook/datebook-type calendar).  Even yesterday, it was neat to see what we'd been praying for on the exact date last year as I was using the same book for this year.  I'll be sure to do that again, too. Once again, to see what God has done and how He has specifically answered things we brought before Him.

The books I was reading this week were very interesting.  One was on Gandhi!  The other was on Hudson Taylor, both school books.  Reading about Gandhi was fascinating.  I had always wanted to learn more about this famous man.  It's sad he was misled by Hinduism, but interesting to read that he made changes simply by praying and fasting.  Never with violence.  The fasting, to him, was a way to focus.  That part rang true with me, even though, we weren't praying to the same God.

Hudson Taylor, the famous missionary to China, knew he needed to learn to rely on God before he went to China.  He had to see if he had enough faith to go as he knew he would have nothing in China except God.  So he put God and the power of prayer to the test.  In one situation, he had no money except one coin left in his pocket yet someone poor asked for his financial help.  At first he couldn't give it up, but finally the spiritual battle was so strong that he knew he had to give it to this family in desperate need.  He gave.  He figured it wasn't his anyway and that it was simply a loan to God.  He asked God to return the loan as soon as possible as he had nothing to eat after the bowl of porridge he was eating.  Sure enough, the next day, a package arrives, anonymously, with enough money for four days of wages.  Taylor realized God had returned the "loan" with 4 times the interest! This happened on another occasion as well, where he was due his wages from his employer.  The employer told him, "Tell me when I owe you money as I'm a busy man and I'll probably forget."  The employer ended up forgetting, but Taylor refused to tell him.  He, once again, turned to prayer, asking God to bring it to the employer's mind without him telling him.  God did just that, in such an unusual way that Taylor could only assume it was God's answering his prayers again.  At that point, Taylor decided, "Ok, prayer really does work.  I can go to China now."

Haven't I seen those types of answers, too?  Even moreso, I would have to say.  Does that mean I have to go to China, too?  No, not necessarily, but it certainly means I can definitely trust Him for our year, for all that concerns me.  I have proven Him over and over.

I pray about everything, from big things to small things.  One thing I've been praying about is my daughter's birthday.  A small thing, but not really.  To me, it's kinda big!  I long to bless my kids.  I know it doesn't have to be something financially big, but I want them to feel special, especially in light of no Christmas presents.  We still give birthday gifts, but then it is something for one child, not 8 at once, so we feel we can handle it a bit easier.  I kept wondering what it could be, how could I bless her?  I prayed about it.  Then, unique opportunities came up - simple things.  First, she wanted to take her friend out for lunch who also was turning 17 yesterday (my daughter's is on the 10th).  I gave her the van and off she went to surprise her friend with lunch.  They ended up getting their nails done, too, and had a wonderful time together.  We went to that same girl's house for a Bible Quiz practice/dinner and when the evening was over, I went up to the friend of my daughter's and I said, "Do you want "S" to stay a little longer?  Go ask your dad if he can drive her home later?"  She quickly did and suddenly my daughter decided I was the best mom on earth as she looooooves staying a little longer with friends when everyone else is going home.  I told her I figured it was the beginning of her celebrating her birthday.  Still hadn't cost me anything to bless her in a small way.

Then, this weekend, her birthday falls on a Saturday, the day of the quiz meet.  She's not happy about that.  I couldn't figure out a way to change that, so I just kept praying about what to do.  Then, last night, at the quiz practice, another friend of mine and I were talking about the National Quiz Meet coming up in a week in New York.  We had decided to let our boys go this year as they had worked so hard and I knew last year was such a great experience for my oldest boy.  My daughter wasn't going to go as she hadn't memorized enough and didn't want to participate as a quizzer. We made a team of 3 boys, my boys and my friend's son.  But then my friend said her daughter wanted to go as well, to be on the team, too.  Suddenly it occurred to me - I'll let my daughter go, too, but just for fun! It won't cost us anymore to have one more person and then she'll get a little surprise getaway with her friend (and dad and brothers)!  I'm not sure when I'll tell her, but perhaps on the morning of her birthday.

Then, last Sunday, we were asked by my parents to go out for lunch.  We were already booked.  I was so disappointed as we LOVE going to this one restaurant with my parents.  It's going to be a special memory for my kids and a great way to spend time connecting with my parents.  Once again, it suddenly occurred to me, "How about next Sunday?  I won't tell "S" and we'll just show up as a surprise for her birthday??"  It was a deal.  So this Sunday, without her knowing, we'll be going to one of her favourite restaurants, with her grandparents, as a special surprise.  It'll be so fun.

Were all these things answers to prayer?  Yes.  For sure.  I had told the Lord, "I want to bless my daughter.  I don't know how.  Will you please give me an idea?  Something she loves to do that isn't too expensive????"  Going away to see a friend actually was something she wanted to do, but she wanted to go away somewhere else, where another friend lives.  We kept telling her it wouldn't be possible.  We couldn't make it work.  It was too far, no adult supervision, too expensive on her own, etc.  This way, she gets to be with a friend, over a period of a weekend, doing something fun, with adult supervision and gets to be around a ton of Christian youth doing Bible Quizzing!  Amazing. Going out to eat was something she loves doing, but we don't do that anymore, we eat at home and have special meals here on birthdays, so now she gets to go out for her birthday, too,  I share these answers to show how God cares for me, for my specific requests, for my daughter, for her specific concerns.  I just love that.  Now, I can go to China.

2015 - The Year of Contradictions?

I sat down and created yet another grocery budget after having done a shop this past week and, though I've done a very similar one before, this time, I'm "debt-termined"......to actually fill it in!  My headings were obvious, I guess - food item, brand, quantity, amount spent, typical amount spent (if it weren't on sale), then the next cell had a formula which calculated the amount saved (cool, I thought). I had my daughter enter in every single thing purchased (and it was a fairly big shop, so it took some time), but she was excited to be a part of it all.

I am very curious how this will all play out in 2015 - I'm very curious to see how many apples do we eat???  How much milk do we go through???  Even if nothing changes in particular regarding spending, then at least we'll know where our money is actually going.

We made a big decision this past week that is motivating us to watch every dollar as well.  We have decided to actually get away this September as a family.  

Knowing we had made a resolve to kill debt has always made going away an impossibility, but when we read Barry Cameron's book on debt he actually had a section on vacations.  Just do them debt-free.

He had committed to taking his wife and family away every Christmas to see her folks across the country.  It always cost them a fortune as they had to fly.  He then said it took him all year to pay it off.  One year, when they were in the middle of getting out of debt, he said, "Enough is enough.  We aren't doing this anymore."  But he didn't mean no more vacations.  He meant, "No more going into debt to go away."  They decided they would still try to go, but they had to pay cash, so in January, they somehow set up a little fund that they all worked towards to pay for the vacation and somehow, no doubt by God's grace, they have managed to go away every year to see her family....debt-free, paid in full, with cash, even with extra money for gifts, etc.  That was an interesting thought!

Back to our oldest and the anniversary.....We don't know how many more years she'll be under our roof, but we know it can't be many more.  The new year always brings our oldest daughter's birthday right away on the 10th.  She'll be 17.  She was only 15 when we started the hard core debt-reduction, seems impossible that time is flying that fast!  It was easy to say "no vacations" when she was just a young teen, but now she's an older teen.....it seems like her leaving the nest could be just around the corner.  I don't want to have regrets.  As for us, we usually get away at least one night (though I've always longed for more) on our anniversary.  It's always been a financial sacrifice, but we've happily done it in the name of our marriage and it's been so worthwhile.  Twenty is a big one.  We both wanted to celebrate that and especially with our children as they are the product of our marriage! Ah....the quandary....don't you see it?  Kill debt and go away?  How could we keep up our debt-reduction plan and go away at the same time.  We wondered if there was a way to do it and pay for a getaway.  One idea was to consider getting "part-time" work on the side, above and beyond what we were already doing and strictly apply that to the get-away.  Yes, it would mean more hours of work, but we are fine with that as my husband is always on site and we see one another all the time.  It occurred to us we actually had a source of "part-time" work that we haven't done for awhile.  My husband has work he can do on the side, writing courses.  He doesn't love that type of work - he loves engineering stuff, but it pays ok and isn't delivering pizzas!  If he does a course or two, the vacation will be paid for.  It won't impact the debt-reduction plan, in fact it could help the debt-reduction plan! We figured with that kind of extra work, all of us saving every penny, doing all the extra things we talked about in the summer and booking it far enough in advance that we can actually save for it.....we took the plunge and booked it.....

A day later, once it was booked, we told the kids.....they were over the moon!  Even though it is so far away, the holiday feels like it has started for them.  I thought it would be torture to have it booked so far in advance, but in a way, it has made it more exciting!  They wake up each day wondering what they'll do when we get there!

We are going to one of the neatest places - the Outer Banks in North Carolina.  It is a strip of land on the east coast.  We rented a house that will fit the whole family.  It's ideal in that it isn't that far to travel.  We won't have to fly.  We won't have to worry about meals.  It's not as cheap as camping, of course, but it is manageable.  We plan on turning it into a "visiting" trip as well as we have many friends in North Carolina as well, so that'll be fun for me as I love seeing friends I haven't seen in awhile.

There is an excitement in our home.  Research is already being done on all the cool places to go. Actual kilometers from place to place are being figured out.  It is fun.  We are already so glad we've made the decision.  The kids are sad that the trip will end at one point!  I've had fun being in contact with people already asking them to consider staying at our home for a week or two as we'll need to arrange that far in advance to get all the animals taken care of.  We usually try to ask city people to give them a chance out on the farm.  Hopefully it'll be a blessing to them as well.

On a slightly different note, our pastor spoke on Sunday night from Ephesians 1, the last few verses of the chapter and spoke on prayer.  One of the phrases Paul prays for the Ephesians is that they will have wisdom and revelation. I certainly am praying that for ourselves as well.  We need wisdom in every area of our life.  I love the term "revelation".  I came home and shared what I'd heard at church with those who had been left behind sick at home and we had an awesome family worship time speaking about areas of our life where we need this revelation from the Lord.  Such as, dealing with our children, their behaviour, their future's, their education, their spouses, how to spend their time.....for us, how to continue to create income that will kill the debt as fast as possible.  So many areas in our life need revelation from the Lord.  Then we prayed, asking for these exact things - wisdom and revelation.

I also have been reading another book that talked about Joseph and how he found favour with God. At the same time, in Genesis, I've been reading about Abraham and how he dared to approach God to save the righteous, if there were any, in Sodom and Gomorrah.  Before he asked God, it says he just stood there.  The next verse says, "Then he drew near to God...."  It's as if he had to think through, "Do I dare approach God with this matter?"  Then he dared.  He didn't dare just once, but multiple times.  I asked the kids, "Do you think he was asking for something righteous?"  We all agreed that he was.  I said, "I'm daring to approach God this year, too."  I am no Abraham and I hesitate to even write my bold requests.  Can I just be super honest and share what I'm daring to ask?  I'm daring to ask to be debt-free this year.  I'm daring to ask that we could go away having paid cash before we leave.  I know these are very selfish sounding requests. Am I allowed to ask for favour with God? All I know is God grants favour, it isn't something I can get on my own.  I shared my bold requests with someone and they said, "Francis Chan says we should ask that God would bless us so that we could give it all away."  Of course!  One step at a time!  

We may appear like a walking contradiction this year - trying to get out of debt yet going on vacation....Hmmmm...figure that one out.  I guess that is the real-life part of the blog, documenting everything, being super honest, perhaps making decisions others think aren't wise, being quietly criticized (or openly, like my friend!), writing down our crazy requests, perhaps not seeing them answered as we hoped, or perhaps truly seeing God's favour in our life.....we don't know what the end of the story is going to be.  I'm not going to fake it and try to sound all spiritual.  The truth is, we really do want to get away together and seriously haven't done a vacation in over ten years.  My job is to write it all down, for my kids, for my grandkids, for myself, for my own faith walk.  God is the ultimate author of our story this year.  I'm one of the characters, perhaps one full of faults, to whom He'll still hopefully be gracious.