Jen's story continues....but first, I do want people to know that I get full permission to share her story. Even Roger knows I'm writing. The tie-in as usual to debt (i.e., the title of this blog?!) is not always financial as anyone who has read more than one post will have noticed. Debt is not always a monetary thing. You can be in debt to fear or bad decisions, and it leaves you in a place of bondage that makes you feel there is no way out , i.e., this is how my life will look for the rest of my future. At some point in time, both Jen and Roger thought that, but the beauty of Christ and the praying Church is that is not how their story ended. Read on.....
Roger admitted to himself, he liked Jen, or at least he was interested in her. He hadn't really talked with her much, but from what he saw and the brief interactions he'd had with her, there was a spark. But, just like that, it was gone. He suddenly decided, no, no interest. She's not for me. This is where it was either cold feet, fear, or a bad habit of thinking negatively, but just like that he gave up.
That was when he got quite the talking to from his sister-in-law. Roger did not like her input very much and left quite angry, but later, Roger wondered if anything she said was true - was he going to miss out? Perhaps he was fearful, not trusting God. He was afraid to hurt her and probably to get hurt himself. Then a thought occurred to him, he would never know if Jen wasn't meant to be for him without giving it a complete 100% effort, which he had never done in his life with any girl. I attribute this change of thought to prayer and prayer alone. Jen, too, had been fasting prior to this - she didn't know Roger when she first started the fast or perhaps all the reasons why she was fasting. She just was. She just knew something needed to change in her life. Perhaps without understanding the full scope of the purpose of her fasting, I believe it had an impact on Roger. The funny though, was one of the reasons he was willing to give 100% was to get his in-laws off his back. He knew it wouldn't work out, so this way he could say, "I gave it 100% and it still didn't work out - now leave me alone." But God had other plans for him.
Roger's brother and his wife would invite him and Jen over all the time and many Fridays were spent at their place as they slowly got to know one another. He was still being careful, but it was a whole new way of behaving for him, so patience was required! Jen was super frustrated and checked in with me quite often. I would take it to the girls and we would pray! We were regularly praying for this man who was really bugging all of us by this point!
Then the Christmas season. He and Jen went to a Christmas concert together and out to a restaurant afterwards. She was emotionally upset about something that night and was clearly sad. He found himself longing to comfort her and suddenly he realized he was feeling compassion towards her, something he hadn't felt before towards a woman. He was like the Grinch - that night his heart grew so big, it nearly burst out of his shirt! That was the turning point for him.
They started to talk, text, get together regularly on their own - no more help from brothers and sisters-in-law. He heard her story, she heard his. I wasn't sure all that was going on at this point and checked in with her. She assured me, with a big grin on her face, "Things are good!!!" We just kept praying and waiting to see how this would all unfold.
Well, it sure unfolded fast! This past Friday, when I was out at my sister's, I got a text from Jen saying, "Answer this text ASAP!!!!?????" I didn't get the text as I was out and had put my phone away! The next morning I read it and immediately texted her back telling her to wake up and tell me what was going on! She finally did and the words on the phone were "As of last night, Roger and I officially courting!"
I picked up the phone and called her immediately. She told me the whole story and I cried. I couldn't believe it. She said he had said, "I am intending this as a courtship that ends in marriage (or something like that! I don't know his exact words!)" As far as I was concerned, she was telling me they were getting married. It is a done deal in my mind and I couldn't believe God had done it, He'd answered our prayers. All the tears she had cried, never thinking it could happen to her. She met a godly man who is now going to love her and care for her, all the things she longs for. Only God could do that. We certainly weren't the only ones who prayed for her or for Roger. There's no way to know how it all came together in the spiritual world, but all I know is it did.
It turns out on the Friday night, once they had made it official that they were a couple, preparing for marriage, they wanted to go and tell everyone they knew what God had done. We had been gone that night and, much to my disappointment, I found out on the Saturday that they had all come by the farm on the Friday night with Jen, Roger, the brother and sister-in law....everyone who had been following the saga so closely! I wish I had been home!!! But, to make up for it, Roger and Jen came by on Monday to fill us in.
It was like seeing two entirely different people. First of all, besides the glowing on their faces, they were all giggly (some Jens more than others!). They were also clearly nuts about each other. Roger just kept saying things like, "Look at her! She's so beautiful!!!" or "I've always loved the name Jennifer." Oh my goodness. I've since heard his teenage nephews think it is all a little too much for them and find it borderline disgusting how lovey-dovey they are! My little girls sat on the couch beside them as they told their story with absolute wonder in their eyes. I think what was so amazing and touching was hearing the story from Roger's perspective - that poor man could barely get two sentences out and tears would come, over and over. He was so moved by God's goodness to him, that he was constantly overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn't help but cry along with him. "God is so good!" he would say, "I can't believe he's chosen to give me this blessing in my life now!" So beautiful.
A miracle was sitting on my couch that day - a true miracle. Anyone who knew Roger had pretty much given up - at 51, it seemed love was never going to enter into his life. None of us have known Jen very long, but I'm sure she felt it would never happen to her either. My little girls sat there, knowing they had been part of the miracle. They got to see that God does miracles in peoples' lives, right before their very eyes! How can we doubt God's goodness to us, how? He doesn't have to bless us with marriage, but He does! It is so exciting to live this Christian life, so full of gifts from above!
A verse came to me while they sat there that I shared with them. I had read this same verse in Isaiah the same week I got a call to go on the first date with my future husband, twenty years ago, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you." I, too, had been longing to be married and was in the Word praying about it when I came across that verse. It had been such an encouragement to me. That week Renaissance Man called me and the rest is history. God doesn't hold back blessings from us! He longs to be gracious to us! Yes, the Christian life can be hard, but if we look around us, don't we see His goodness in so many areas of our life? He longs to be gracious to us and He is gracious to us...all the time! I think some look at God as a big "meany", but that isn't the God I know. God was gracious to our sweet friend, Jennifer, and to this patient man, Roger. We all thank God for His kindness to them.
Now, my girls are a mess with excitement - ask her, Roger! Ask her! Make it official! We want to plan a wedding! Will it be on the farm or in a church?! Come on, we've got plans to make!!!! We love you both and can't wait for the big day, so get a move on it! :)
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