I have not conquered anger in our home 100%, but it is certainly something we all strive to get rid of. I have seen tremendous improvement in my own life as I aim to make it a cheerful place in the morning which, of course, can be the most challenging, as so many of us struggle to wake up...and happy at that! Yes, I'm a morning person, which has helped me, but it still isn't easy. Here's a funny story to show the effort I'm attempting to make at changing the atmosphere in the home......
We're still using the Maxwell's Chore system most mornings and one of the ways I like to get people on board is to rile them up with either music or me (seriously) cheering them on. I must look and sound like a loony, but that's what I do. I clap my hands, yell out some crazy cheers and sometimes stomp around the house like I'm a cheerleader on steroids - all this in a happy, hilarious tone. My kids, I think anyway (!), deep down like it - in my mind I'm creating a funny memory of their mom. I guess I was getting a little carried away the other day as my oldest child said to my husband as he walked in the room, "Uh, Dad, can we put Mom in front of a show?" I howled. That's so often what we'll say if the toddlers are out of control, "Can we put J in front of a show? He's acting crazy!" That statement from my daughter came to my mind in the middle of church last night and I actually snickered out loud. I think it's great that they think their mom is nutty enough to put her in front of a show to calm her down. Well, better a crazy mom than an angry one!
So, I'm a Grandma. That's right, a Grandma, but not the usual kind, a spiritual one. This is Heather's story....
Heather is a girl I met about 5 years ago when we first moved to the Niagara area. She was dating Stephanie's brother at the time. They were both in highschool, just finishing up their last year. It seemed like things were going great, but for some reason they broke up a couple years ago. Neither of them were Christians, though Heather had been raised in a church-going home as well as Michael. They both knew the truth, but either didn't fully grasp it or had rejected it for reasons I don't fully know.
During this time, Stephanie and I had become fast friends (my bffc, remember?). Her life had turned around. She'd found Christ as her personal Saviour, met Andrew and now has two kids of her own. During the time Heather was dating her brother, Stephanie and Heather also became fast friends. Heather is very likable. She's actually one of the nicest people I know - beautiful on the inside and out.
After things ended with Stephanie's brother, it seems natural that Stephanie would have no longer seen Heather, but that wasn't the case at all. Heather seemed drawn to Stephanie. She observed her life and I'm sure she knew something was different. Did she have something Heather longed for, but couldn't quite put her finger on it? At first glance, you would think Heather was a downtown clubbing type of girl as she's a pretty slick chick, but there she was, spending her time, not in clubs, but with Stephanie. She picked a slightly older mom to hang with and her kids and her husband.....sound familiar?????
Heather was there when Andrew first came on the scene. I'm sure Heather was probably excited to think Stephanie had a "boyfriend". She probably thought they would "date" for a couple years, then get engaged for a year, then get married and have kids a few years after that.....but no, Andrew not only suggested courtship where there was no touching, but proposed marriage within two weeks, and a wedding a few months after that, and, sure enough, a honeymoon baby came shortly after.....Heather was blown away. What is courtship? No touching?! Aren't you going back to work? What about waiting to have babies? Two babies? Stephanie couldn't keep up with the questions. But she loved it. Heather was asking all the same questions she had asked only a few years earlier. She loved being on the other end of the questions now and happily, patiently answered every single one. Heather was truly fascinated by Stephanie and the two of them loved hanging out together.
Then Stephanie's mom got sick. Heather now saw Stephanie go through the trial of her life. Perhaps she thought to herself, "This will be the thing that sinks her faith." But it wasn't. Stephanie's faith shone through brightly. Heather was one of the caregivers of her children during this difficult time. Heather observed it all. She also watched how Stephanie's mom's faith was so strong as well. She gave God all the glory and trusted Him for her strength even though she knew she was dying. Her faith in God was so obvious through it all. Her funeral was a tremendous testimony, as well, to her faith and Heather heard everything the pastor said that day, too, as he pointed everyone to Christ in his sermon. I actually thought to myself, "How could anyone deny a God after hearing it put that way?"
Sometime in the last few weeks, Heather suggested that she and Stephanie do a book club, just the two of them. Wow, ok - how about Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis? Sure! So, they started to meet every week to intentionally talk about the book. Then, it was suggested that they do a Bible Study together! By this point, Stephanie wondered what was going on...was her heart turning? Had she crossed the line of faith in Christ without her even knowing it? So Stephanie started to press her, ask more questions to find out where she was at. This whole time Stephanie and I had been meeting over the last year or two specifically praying for Heather.
As Stephanie started to probe, Heather started to give answers that blew Stephanie out of the water - she, perhaps didn't have a full understanding, but she knew she was a sinner and she knew only Christ could save her. This realization amazed her that she had only understood it now - the scales came off her eyes. She needed a Saviour and she found Him! Suddenly, everything made sense! Now, she had a hunger for knowledge more than ever. She started to immediately make changes in her life - specifically with regards to boys. We like to tease her that she dates only American Eagle models, but it's true! She's a very attractive girl and very attractive boys are drawn to her - no more, she said. She was starting to prepare herself now for a husband, not just a bunch of guys to date anymore just for fun. One statement she made was quite profound after she came to faith, "I used to think," she said, "that life had no meaning or purpose. You were like an animal, meant to live and then simply die. Now I realize my life has purpose!" How amazing!
She lives with several other girls, much like herself, or the way she used to be, good girls, nominal Christians, not realizing their faith could be even more real to them. When Stephanie first started to meet with Heather at her house to do the Bible Study, Stephanie just assumed that they would meet privately in her room, but no, Heather had it set up such that they would meet openly in the main sitting area where the other girls were able to watch, observe or even participate. Stephanie was sure they wouldn't want to come, but sure enough, they do! Sometimes it'll just be for a few minutes or for a few questions, but each one has seen what is going on and they are seeing the amazing changes in Heather. They wonder, I'm sure, what has happened to their friend!
Stephanie called me to tell me all that had happened and we were both just praising God at how He had used her in Heather's life. I have only had a few brief conversations with Heather and never really about spiritual things, yet God used me, too! That's what makes me a Grandma. My spiritual child was Stephanie, by God's grace. Then, she in turn, influenced Heather to salvation - my spiritual granddaughter! That's what Jesus meant when He said, "Go and make disciples..." I was so privileged to play a part in Stephanie's life and now she is doing the same with others! Heather is now doing it with the girls in her house! It is so amazing! Francis Chan and David Platt called it, "Multiply". We are called to multiply, in a spiritual sense, not just physically. Much earlier in the blog, I wrote about what I liked to call "The Multiplication Effect" - God loves math! He loves to multiply! He takes what I can offer, which isn't much, a little time here, a short prayer of desperation there, and He multiplies it - It must be God's favourite thing to do. I even read in Genesis the other day how Isaac planted a field and then God multiplied it one hundredfold. He is in the business of multiplying.
So, those are my two amazing stories of friendship and discipleship - Jen and Heather - both miracles of God's goodness and true examples of answers to prayer. In both cases, it wasn't overnight - it was a process of discipleship, fighting the darkness through prayer - Satan longed to discourage all of us in the journey. But we fought back through regular prayer and trusting Him, knowing He would be faithful if we remained faithful. All this, by being a mom in my own home. I used to think when I first decided to stay home and homeschool that God would never be able to use me again until I was back leading a study or doing a "ministry". He has shown me that I can still be used, even evangelizing, by simply being at home, managing my children, trying to keep my house somewhat clean.....that is cool!!!! I love that! So, I wonder what is next - who will God bring into my life next?! I'm open.
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