I have two great stories about two great girls this week, Jen and Heather. I've only known both young women for a very short time, but so much has happened in their lives I have to write about it. The reason both of them have become very special to me as well is because God has given me a very special privilege to be just a wee small part of all that has gone on.
First, Jen.....She arrived at our church, a single lady, and sat in a bench by herself last March. That is super unusual as we are a "large family/majority homeschooled" type of church - not too many singles except all the children! But there she sat. I should probably mention she had quite a few tatoos up and down her arms which were hard not to notice. Very pretty. Long, straight, high-lighted hair. She definitely stood out.
She was spoken to immediately after the service by another mom who was very friendly and almost right away I saw tears come out of her eyes. I didn't catch her full story, but I could tell she had one. She met with the pastor right away, too.
She kept coming to church. It wasn't until May that I actually was able to get her over to our house, by this point I had heard bits and pieces of her story, but I knew I needed to hear the whole thing and directly from her. I think she was shocked to be invited. Not sure, but she seemed excited to come. That Monday, she came over for dinner and I got the story.
She was a new believer. She had just left a different church that was kind of off-base doctrinally, and even as a new believer, she could tell something wasn't right. I can't remember how she even came to find our little church, but right away, she knew she should be there. She had been married before when she was much younger and an unbeliever, (she was now in her late 30s). She'd been married for only 6 years, and the whole time her husband, turns out, was a drug dealer, drug addict (and all sorts of other bad addictions) bad guy. She left him.
On her own again, her brother suggested she try a career as a personal support worker. This was a very positive change in her life and after the training was over she ended up working taking care of seniors in their homes. Jen was suffering during this whole time, however. She was very upset with the way her life had turned out, but she kept it to herself. One time, she found herself taking care of a sweet, older couple in their 80s. Right away she could tell there was something different about them - they were Christians. After many months of working for them and living in a constant state of sadness, the older lady noticed her being so sad and said to her, "You know you need the Lord, don't you?" Jen broke down. This senior couple in her life was the instrument God used to save her. So wonderful. For many years after that Jen would be in touch or they would call her to find out how she was doing right up until the older man died. His wife is still alive, I believe.
Jen found a church and was now very interested in marriage, but this time to a Christian. As so many do, she turned to internet dating as it is so hard to find a Christian spouse these days, it seems. She thought she had found a decent guy. but the long story short is - he wasn't. They never even lived a day together. She was required to get paper work to move to the States where he was located. He was supposedly there waiting for her. When she tried to be in contact with him, he basically told her, "I don't love you. The marriage is over." She was dumbfounded. She spent the next few months trying to be in touch with him to no avail. He didn't want to be married it turned out. Legally they weren't married in the eyes of the law as they hadn't shared a residence together. It was legally dissolved this past July.
Enter in our family back in May. As she sat there telling us her story, my younger girls were flitting about her. My six year old was immediately drawn to her and kept coming out to us with little drawings she had made for her. Then, as we walked around the farm, she would snuggle up by Jen, trying to walk beside her or hold her hand. It was a beautiful day, the animals were loud and active and Jen seemed to be just soaking it all in. She must have taken a dozen pictures with her phone that she kept sending to her mom of chickens or cats or cows. I don't remember all I said to her, but I know my primary purpose that day was to offer her hope and friendship and that she would know we wanted to be in her life in some way. We ate dinner and then she left shortly afterwards.
It was the next day or so that she sent a beautiful email saying how she had enjoyed her time so much and that she felt her heart had started to heal after that day. So sweet. The following Sunday, I went up to her, still hardly knowing her and I told her, "You need to fast." "I can't fast, I'm diabetic." "You can fast something!" I explained to her what I meant and why I thought she needed to do this. I was so excited for her and I explained how fasting can be used to break bonds of oppression in her life, be it confusion about relationships, direction in life, or just knowing God better. She immediately knew what she should do and let me know the next day - she was giving up Facebook. She started to replace that time with listening to sermons and reading her Bible. That's all she did in her spare time for awhile.
Shortly after that, I got an "emergency" email asking for my commitment to help her, to pray for her, to find a godly husband. Amen! That's what I am all about! I told her I would, not knowing how that could be possible as I really didn't know any single guys, and even got my girls on board praying, especially the six year old. She's a little prayer warrior and because she loved Jen so much it was easy for her. I wish I had a recording of the way she prayed - her prayers were so simple, so sweet, "Dear Lord, please find Jen a husband who is nice and who treats her nice, not like those other bad husbands." I was so touched. If Jen could have only heard her sweet little prayers, she would have known everything was going to be alright.
At some point I gave her a book we sell on courtship that is a fictional story about a young woman who longs to be married and an older Christian man who has waited for the right girl to come along and never found the right one. It goes through their whole courtship story and how they prayed without knowing the other person's prayers. It was a book that was very inspiring to my bffc, too, and has had a dramatic impact on myself as well, as I long for my children to experience a courtship without all the pain of dating. Jen was inspired to stop pining for a husband and to take all of her desires and thoughts of a husband to the Lord. She was learning the lesson of waiting and being content in the process.
Now, go back 5 years. I met Roger through friends in our church. He was the identical twin brother to a fellow we knew, but had never been married. He seemed like a nice enough guy. He pastored a church on the weekends and worked for a delivery company during the week. From what I understood he could have been married, but was just too picky, his sister-in-law and brother would say. I met a couple single girls that I thought were perfect for him and told him about them. He wouldn't hear of it. They weren't for him he said. I told him that I was committed to praying for him though despite the fact I felt he was a little too stubborn! I really did pray for him quite intensely for awhile there. I knew he wanted to be married. Somehow over the past 5 years, our paths would cross and sometimes I would tease him or lecture him, but he remained faithful to not settling for just any girl just because I, or anyone else, thought he should. It seemed he would be single for life.
Once in awhile he showed up at our church if he wasn't preaching at his own. He liked seeing his brother and his family and he knew everyone in our church quite well. Roger apparently noticed Jen right away. She didn't notice him! Until he talked....he answered a question in a discussion one Sunday evening about the passage we were studying - his love for God shone through and Jen had to turn around and see who had said it. Her eyes were opened to this man. She talked to me about him and my eyes got big. Roger. Could it be him? Could he be for her? I couldn't believe it. I ramped up the praying big time and called on the girls to start specifically praying for his name.
He was taking his sweet time in my opinion to speak to her, but he was fearful, I found out later, and not necessarily convinced she was right for him. He wrote it off as not meant to be until his brother and sister-in-law gave him a "Don't-mess-this-one-up type of talk" and strongly encouraged him to go for it! For the first time in Roger's life, he did - full speed ahead.
Tomorrow - the rest of the story.....
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