Thursday, 3 December 2015

Early Morning Bible Study with God


Once in a while I get woken up in the middle of the night and no matter what I do, I cannot get back to sleep, especially if it is close to when I'm going to get up anyway.  Yesterday, I stopped fighting it at and came down at the ridiculous hour of 4 am.
I can only think I was woken up for a reason as I ended up reading some verses in Deuteronomy that seemed written just for me.  Perhaps God knew I needed some encouragement once again on this path.
It started with the Ten Commandments.  My thoughts always get so confused this time of year.  Christmas will always be a struggle for me I think.  No matter that we are on a debt-elimination plan...I don't care!  I just want to spend, spend, spend!!!!  I want to throw all rules out the window and just do whatever I want!  I'll figure out how to make it up in January.  This was my pattern for years.  This is my flesh speaking, of course.  It gets harder whenever I'm near anyone who doesn't have the same convictions (as not everyone has to do things the same way we are) or who just seems to be able to lavish gifts on their children without any impact (that I can see anyway) on their financial situation.  I'm so weak!!!!  My husband just wants to put me in a closet this time of year and bring me out in January as I share my pathetic thoughts with him.  I thought it would be easier by now, but it isn’t. 
As I read the Ten Commandments in Deuteronomy, I realized they could be written just for me at Christmas time, particularly the commandment on coveting.  I realized I was really just jealous of how it seemed (not necessarily is in real life) easier for everyone else.  I was jealous of how others were spending, other kids were getting all sorts of things, I was the only parent not spending, etc., etc……When I read the commandment on coveting, it spoke of not coveting a neighbour’s wife, house, field, servant, ox, donkey OR ANYTHING THAT IS YOUR NEIGHBOUR’S!  This includes being jealous of Christmas gifts!  I bet I wrote an identical post a year ago and even the year before that.....I hope I beat this weakness this year once and for all.  This was what I needed to read as my thoughts were starting to go down that dangerous path.  God has that commandment there for my protection, to keep me from being discontent.  It is for my own good!  It really should be called the Christmas Coveting Commandment.

I kept reading.  In chapter 5, the Israelites realized how awesome God is and told Moses they will do whatever God says.  But God knew their hearts and said, “Oh that they had such a heart as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever!”  God wants me to stay on track 12 months of the year, not 11 months.  I'm sure it pleases Him when I am careful, frugal all year long, but then He sees my "falling off the wagon" in December.  He must say something similar to this verse in Chapter 5, "Oh that she would just stay on track all year long, then it would go well with her!"  I say that to my kids all the time when they are behaving so nicely, “Oh, I wish you were listening like this all the time!  You would have a much better life!”  But they seem to forget so easily!  Hmmmm....seems I forget, too.

Then, in chapter 7, Moses tells the Israelites about the land they are going to possess and he lists the seven nations “more numerous and mighty than you”.  I immediately thought about the debt “nations” in our life and where Moses listed a nation, I listed the debt which seemed “more numerous and mighty” than me.  I started to ask God to clear each debt “nation” and that He would help us to “defeat them”, just as He helped them to defeat these nations.  God tells them that once the nations are defeated, they must “devote them to complete destruction”, never making any covenant with them and to “show no mercy to them”.   “You shall break down their altars and dash in pieces their pillars and chop down their Asherim and burn their carven images with fire.”  That became the next part of my prayer, that we would devote ourselves to the complete “destruction” of this debt, never entering into any covenant with it again and that once it was gone we would break down, dash, chop, and burn it forever, never to be seen again. 

But, of course, that just seems impossible sometimes. Yet God dealt with this thought, too, as I continued to read, “If you say in your heart, ‘These nations are greater than I.  How can I dispossess them?’  You shall not be afraid of them but you shall remember what the Lord your God did to Pharoah and to all Egypt, the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm by which the Lord your God brought you out.  So will the Lord your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid…You shall not be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God. The Lord your God WILL CLEAR AWAY THESE NATIONS BEFORE YOU LITTLE BY LITTLE.  YOU MAY NOT MAKE AN END OF THEM AT ONCE…But the Lord your God will give them over to you and throw them into great confusion, until they are destroyed.

That was just what I needed to read as I often do say in my heart, “This plan is too great for me.  How will we ever do it?”  I am not to be afraid, but to remember all that God has done, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, the outstretched arm….. (did He not deliver us this week already with the cheque on Monday???!!!)  God has done all that for us.  He will do this for us as He is in our midst and is a great and awesome God.  But, just like with the nations before Israel, God did not clear them away all at once, but instead “little by little” until they were completely destroyed.  I would prefer all at once, but must be content with little by little.

But I still have questions.  Do we have to do it this way?  Couldn't we learn these lessons another way?  Chapter 8 answers even these questions on why we've had to go through this particular journey....“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these 40 years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.  And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna….Your clothing did not wear out…your foot did not swell…Know this in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you….”

So, in just one morning, I learned a lot.  I had to deal with my covetous heart.  I was reminded to be a 12 months- a-year follower of God, not just 11 months.  I was given a picture of seven nations, more numerous and mighty than ourselves, but was shown God can defeat these nations, even if they are nations of debt.  Though this seemed impossible, God immediately put my fears to rest by reminding me I need not fear or dread, because each nation will be taken down, "little by little".  And, just when I started questioning His plan, He reiterated it has to be this way - it's all part of the testing, the disciplinging, the humbling....Sure enough, we’ve been tested for a reason, to humble us, find out what was in our hearts, to see if we would do it God’s way.  Yet all along the way, we were fed, clothed…in such creative ways sometimes, just like manna!  We were and still are being disciplined.  I sure don’t love being disciplined and it makes me appreciate why my kids don’t like it either!

I would not choose to wake up this early to learn these things, but I think what I would have missed out on and I'm glad I was woken up.  It seems I had some lessons to learn.....

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