Bathtime Reflections

The tub.  Yes, the tub.  That is where my husband gets all his revelations.  If you read books about famous missionaries or other famous men and women that walked with God, they often talk about how they would wake up in the morning and see their Mom or Dad on their knees praying.  Our kids will remember that their Dad spent time with God, but he was in water.  I don't know what it is, but when he is in there I think he's just relaxing his achey muscles, but he's in fact receiving life-changing messages for our family.

He'll often walk out of the bathroom and say, "I know what I have to do now" or "We have to have a talk, I've got a plan" or "We're going to have a family meeting, I have an idea".  These last few weeks alone, situations have come up where we've needed extra wisdom.  In one case my husband realized that his teaching in the new year was coming to a close, so a while ago he came out of his tub time and said, "I'm going to create an online course for electronics".  And that's what he did, because the idea came to him - in the tub.  Over the past couple of weeks he's been getting a good number of new students that will all take his course starting in January.  I've learned to not question him and instead help him realize the thoughts and plans that come to him.

Another time just a couple of weeks ago, a situation arose with one of our children that was causing some friction between siblings.  I wasn't ignoring it, I just didn't quite know what to do, so I prayed.  I'm 100% convinced there is a connection between how I pray for him and how God then reveals a plan to RM.  And that's what happened.  As I prayed for RM, God laid out the exact plan that we were to do.  He called a meeting between the children involved and he explained to them, through the Scriptures that God had showed him, exactly how they were to handle the situation and one another.  At the end of the short meeting, each child felt so happy, so relieved that their Dad had told them what to do!  They felt so relieved that each one of their feelings had been acknowledged and that they hadn't been left on their own to handle the situation.  I felt happy that he was leading our family as I didn't know what to do and we all walked away breathing a sigh of relief.

Just this past weekend, he came out of the tub again and announced, "Family Meeting!"  Once again, an idea had come to him to solidify our family.  As our older children are entering into relationships and as they are spending more and more time with their significant others or even just with friends, we've noticed that it is harder and harder to connect as a whole family.  We recognize that this is normal, however, we also want to make sure that we never forget that we are a family and that no matter what, no matter who gets married and leaves home, we will always be a family.  So in order to ensure that there is unity and that we are intentional about regular time together and regular conversations, he sat all of us down and in a kind and gentle way explained this to the kids and asked them to consider giving us one weekend a month.  On the Saturday we will work together on a family farm project - the kids' girlfriends or boyfriends can come on that day to help out, too - then on the Sunday it will be a day of rest and fellowship, but all together, capped off with a great meal that we all help make.  During that time we will intentionally talk, intentionally pray, intentionally have fun.  Everyone was on board and excited about the idea.  However, it will require kids taking time off work which we know is a sacrifice, but RM is wanting them to realize this is too important a weekend to miss and is asking them to take it off anyway.  Once again I marveled at his leadership, at his strength, at how God gave him such a clear plan.  I was so happy to see him step in like that yet again.  I think it made the kids feel special and they were all excited as they miss seeing their older siblings who are often gone.  They love the new people entering into our family, but they are a little jealous of how they take their siblings away so much.

These are just a few examples....RM has very specific plans for each child.  He gets very clear ideas for many situations that I don't know what to do about.  When this happens, I simply pray and ask God to show him and without a doubt, a plan comes to him.  In this way, I feel like I can rest.  I don't have to stress.  God is answering my prayer by talking to RM.  This allows RM to lead our family in a way that fuels the respect the kids have for him.  It also fuels the respect and love that I have for him.  It gives him a sense of purpose.  I think it makes him feel significant and respected which I believe all men need and it allows me to rest in his leadership knowing I don't have to solve the world's problems.  My shoulders are smaller for a reason.  His shoulders can handle the load more and they're supposed to.  Knowing this is how God intended the roles in a family to work and watching it be lived out is amazing.  Why anyone would go against God's plan for the family boggles my mind. It's just asking for strife.  Have all my problems disappeared?  No, but I know if I just suggest my husband take a tub, we'll be good.

Leviticus - An Underappreciated Book on Farming

I somehow doubt that many people say, "Leviticus is a great book!"  But, it really is.  Even though much of it deals with skin diseases and weird ways of dealing with leprosy, there are still a few verses that really stand out at me, particularly Leviticus 26 this morning,

3 “If you walk in my statutes and observe my commandments and do them, 4 then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. 5 Your threshing shall last to the time of the grape harvest, and the grape harvest shall last to the time for sowing. And you shall eat your bread to the full and dwell in your land securely. 6 I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid. And I will remove harmful beasts from the land, and the sword shall not go through your land. 7 You shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword. 8 Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall chase ten thousand, and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword. 9 I will turn to you and make you fruitful and multiply you and will confirm my covenant with you. 10 You shall eat old store long kept, and you shall clear out the old to make way for the new. 11 I will make my dwelling[a] among you, and my soul shall not abhor you. 12 And I will walk among you and will be your God, and you shall be my people. 13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves. And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect.

This series of verses describes our farming life.  As all farmers know, which I'm still just learning, is that you don't plant a seed and then get paid the next day.  Farming is one of those "you're in it for the long haul".  You don't see the payback for months and in the case of the grapevines....years of waiting.  But this is what stands out at me from these verses.  God gives "the rains in their seasons", "the land shall yield its increase and the trees of field shall yield its fruit.  Your threshing shall last to the time of grape harvest and the grape harvest shall last to the time of sowing."  In the spring, the hay starts to come up.  If we were on top of things we could start harvesting hay in June, but we often don't get to it until July or August as we're in the vines.  Also in spring, the vines need pruning, so we start with that.  We're hoeing, weeding, spraying.  By the time we're done there we get to the hay.  The grapes are now more or less managing themselves if we can stay on top of the weeds.  We then take in the hay and fill the barn with it to the rafters, literally.  Then, no rest, the summer is over and we start taking in the grapes...by hand.  The grapes are then processed and moved into crushers, presses and vats.  Still, not a penny has been exchanged.  But then, the animal farmers start to reach out, "I need hay!"  This one sheep farmer found us online and has asked that we deliver hay to him every two weeks or so.  Now we start getting the income after all that work.  And just like the verse says, that income gets us through to the time of the grape income, which then takes us to the time of the garden and the sowing of those seeds..it's so cool!  Way back in March when I started making the vine trees, I had thought I might sell the trees, but to think that I would be selling them now is so interesting, too!  I'm pretty much sold out.  It took a long time to see that money, but well worth the wait!

"You shall eat old store long kept and shall clear out the old to make way for the new."  Even that phrase is so neat.  The sheep are literally eating all "the old store".  The income from "the old store" feeds us.  As we clear out the "old" we are making "way for the new".  The new hay will come this summer.  As the grapes get turned into wine, Lord willing we will sell that.  That will also make way for the new grape harvest.  It's a long cycle, but a great one and all the while it is God at work.  We just follow the principles that He has set up - sow, water, weed, manage, harvest- and then we see this amazing harvest year after year and the way the land provides for us.

The verse at the end of this sections says, "I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that you should not be their slaves.  And I have broken the bars of your yoke and made you walk erect."  We feel in some ways that we have been brought out of the land of Egypt, by moving out here from the city.  We didn't even know that we were slaves when we lived in town, but in a way we were, as we tried to "keep up with the Joneses" as they say.  But, in so many ways, God has broken the bars of our yoke and given us a very different life.  In some ways it is a harder life, but it is so much more fulfilling.  We don't necessarily walk erect physically as our muscles are sore from all the work, but we walk erect perhaps emotionally and even spiritually.  Anyway, I just love that Leviticus, even that not-so-common book speaks to me.  I've probably read that series of verses before and I doubt it jumped out at me when I lived in town.  But now, to see the words like "threshing", "sowing", "grape harvest".....the Bible really becomes alive as THAT IS OUR LIFE!!  Then I see it truly as God's blessing on us, to be living these verses in actual time, not even Biblical times.  It's amazing.  I'm so grateful.  Even just writing it out helps me to see what a privilege it is to be on this farm.  I will try to communicate this to the children this morning.  It won't impact them the way it's impacting me as they've now grown up in this place.  Some of them have only known the farm, but for me and the older kids to have experienced both types of living, it is really amazing to see the Bible come alive just because of where we live.

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New Christmas Traditions, Vine Payoff, Teen Turnarounds

What a sad week this is for my kids!  I don't know how many years we've started off the tradition of Christmas with an annual breakfast with my whole family, all my siblings, my parents, all the cousins.....it's been the highlight of the year for years, the start of the season, the first gift of Christmas, the food, followed by picking out the tree, decorating it....all the things kids love, but not this year.....everything is cancelled.  So I thought about it a little bit and decided to do it at home....I'm going to recreate the whole breakfast....all the food that they would typically have at this amazing brunch.  It's going to be a lot of work, but I'm determined to make it a great morning.  Eggs benedict, hashbrowns, bacon, sausage.....it's going to be delicious.  I even picked up a few small things as mini gifts....nothing too crazy, but just a little something to open.  Then we're going to go get a tree and we are going to decorate it and, darn it, we're going to have fun!!  

Seriously....in the big picture, it's all so silly to get upset over a little meal that gets missed and in reality, they have it pretty good.  They aren't really missing a lot when you think about kids around the world, so I'm not going to let them commiserate too much.  I am happy, however, to give alternatives in this crazy situation we find ourselves.  I enjoy being creative and finding a way to still make it happen.  They were so happy to know it was still going to happen just not in the way they thought.  I think it'll be great and I'm looking forward to it as much as they are....

I continue to be amazed at how our little mini concord vineyard has made some extra income for us this year.  First the u-pick and and now the trees.  I wasn't going to sell them, but then after listing them this past week, I am glad I did!  I've sold a few now and I'm so glad I did!!!!  It's been some extra money after all the work I did way back in March and it's such a blessing!!!!

This week has also been a bit of a challenge for me as my 14 year old and I are working through his Algebra.  I never thought I would be so good at math.  This program we are using teaches it in a way I've NEVER learned and it has been HARD!  My son has nearly lost his mind and that goes for me, too.  But we powered through it and wow, we're winning I think.  This might not seem like a big deal, but it's a big deal.  I've been really praying for this boy as at times, he can be the classic moody teen.  I think the value of having a large family is that every child is different and unique and just when you think you're a successful parent, God gives you a dose of humility by giving you a new challenge in kid-form.  My older kids didn't really fall into that pattern of classic teen - who knows why.  I cannot take any credit for that.  This guy has really pushed me and my limits in patience.  God has shown me time and time again that I cannot take his ups and downs personally and that is what has helped me so much.  Sometimes I see his negativity as a direct attack from the enemy, trying to make him see the world through a dark lens.  I can almost picture the demon sitting on his shoulder whispering lies into his head, about himself, his life, his schooling, his siblings.....and it is at those times I pray very specifically for him and against anything that is attacking him.  But what has come out of this has been only a miracle.  This week as he listened to my older son share his amazing testimony and how he was able to share Christ with his fellow employees, something clicked in my younger son's heart.  "I want a faith like that," he said.  Then he watched some baptisms this past week online from our church and something clicked there, too.  "I'd like to get baptized...I just don't want to say a lot up front...."  As he watched me try to stay calm with him and his math, something clicked there, too.  "Thanks, Mom, for helping me this week.   Sorry it was so hard."  I've shared with others in my family to keep praying for him and I believe their prayers are being answered.  It's so great to hear him quickly apologize now, to me, to his siblings, as he's often quick to get short with them and with me.  He's gone back later on in the day when he perhaps offended someone and told me, "I said sorry to the kids for how I spoke to them this morning."  You did what???  Amazing.  He told me how he has chatted with another son about how he reads the Bible and what he should look for as he reads because sometimes it just doesn't make sense to him.  Mind boggling.  These are all good signs to me that God is working in his young life!  I'm thinking maybe the moody teen stage really won't last forever!  I praise God for these encouragements this week as it can be hard raising kids that don't want to be raised!  The world hates them, Satan hates them.  The spiritual battle for them is so real.  But I feel like God gave me a big boost of encouragement this week particularly with this one son.  I just can't let up on the prayer, the patience....it seems like there is light at the end of the tunnel......there's just so many kids left after him!!!!!  I'll get a holiday eventually, right??  They'll thank me eventually, right????  There's a crown in heaven, right???  Probably nothing will happen this side of heaven, so no earthly rewards to look forward to, but that's ok.....just to see him smile is enough for me right now.

More Wasps and Learning to Pray with Courage

I'm sitting here incredibly tense....all I hear is buzzing.  For the second time in a few days I've been stung by a wasp in the comfort of my own home!  I don't think I'm allergic to them, but whatever poison is in their sting is very itchy, at least after the initial dart-in-the-arm feeling.  Stupid me can't stop itching and now my arm is literally twice it's normal size.  As of this morning I think it is finally going down in the swelling.  It's not like there are swarms of wasps, just one or two sneak in through cracks in the house and they seem to find me.  Now, every night, I check my sheets, the floor, the windows...every where I step.  Then this morning, I heard another one above my head.  I located it, smacked it, but then thought I still heard it.  I sat down with my phone beside me, thinking maybe I still heard the buzzing sound.  Suddenly my phone alarm went off with the vibrating/buzzing sound....I nearly jumped out of my skin!!!!  I'm a little on edge needless to say.  I have no interest in getting stung again.  It makes me feel 6 years old!!!

This past week my oldest son was invited to a friend's house from work.  We always pray and challenge him to be more than just a buddy with all his colleagues, but a witness.  He had been wary of being upfront about his faith at work.  There really hadn't been an opportunity, but he was also torn between being professional, being courageous, being treated differently, even being fired....Everyone knew he was different, acted differently, didn't participate in all the partying, swearing, reckless relationships, etc., but did they know why?  He started to feel very convicted about it.  What should he do?  Should he say more?  Say anything?  When?  How?  What if he was in their lives for a reason?  What if he was the only Christian that came into their lives?  He prayed.  We prayed.  He had his Power to Change group pray.  When they invited him to connect on Friday, he agreed, but with the intent of making the most of every opportunity.

We didn't see him until Saturday night as he came home late on the Friday and went straight to work on the Saturday.  When we finally connected he was just beaming, so excited.  God had answered his prayers in such a neat way.  My son didn't have to do a thing, the conversations just naturally (or supernaturally, I should say) just flowed.  Person after person started asking him about who he really was, why he was that way, what he believed....he literally shared the gospel and they were all ears.  He would stop talking every once in a while just to see if they wanted him to keep going, and they would just keep asking more and more.  It was so inspiring for our younger children.  Hearing him talk made one of my kids long for the faith his older brother has and he literally expressed that longing out loud which made me so happy.  He asked what books he should read and what he should do in order to be like him.  It's moments like that when I realized the power of having so many different ages in the home.  It's as if my husband and I have a team of people now all longing to raise these younger ones to love God.  It's not just the two of us, but there are 6 of us in the house praying for these younger ones.  How amazing is that?!

As a result of listening to my older son, we changed our whole night and brought out some of the material we've read in the past to the older set and are now attempting to go through it with the younger ones.  We started with Ken Ham's testimony called "Fire in My Bones"....in this talk he explains how he started Answers in Genesis and how the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter began.  It's long so we're listening to it over a series of nights, but it's so good.  It was a great reminder to not give up with these younger ones, to do what we attempted to do with the older ones, to fill their minds with good things, to inspire them, to train them.  Covid has stopped a number of the opportunities that we had with the older ones.  Bible Quizzing was impacted, Worldview Camps were eliminated, courses we used to send the kids to don't happen any more.  So now we have to be more creative and intentional.  I liked it when it was easier, but it's like the verses we read yesterday "in church", at home.  King David had a plan to build the Lord a house, but God said, no, I have a different plan.  David didn't pout though, he sat and prayed and thanked Him for revealing that to him.  He said, "Therefore your servant has found courage to pray before you.  And now, O Lord, you are God, and you have promised this good thing to your servant."  So that's kind of how it is with me.  I had a life plan for my kids and I have to keep surrendering that before the Lord.  I need to sit like David, not pout about Covid, or any of the plans I had that got changed and just pray with courage thanking Him that He is God, I'm not and keep remembering His faithfulness and all His kept promises to me.

Contact Lenses, Wasps and Math

I recently tried using contacts again and for a full two days was loving it, but because I hadn't used them for so long, I was out of the habit of taking them out at night.  I ended up leaving them in overnight and in the morning woke up in a panic as my vision was strange.  When I suddenly realized it was because I had forgotten to take out the lenses, I raced to the bathroom to get them out.  The first one came out right away, but not the second one.  At this point I don't know what happened.  Had it already come out?  Or was the other lens stuck in my eye somewhere and I just couldn't see it?  I wasn't sure.  I tried to look myself to see if I could see it, but it wasn't obvious.  I even did the "sight test" where I looked in the distance to see if my sight was clearer and in my mind it definitely was which meant it was still on my eye.  So I kept trying to get it out, but the problem was, there was no lens there, as I found out later, so what I was doing in reality was rubbing my eye for a very long time back and forth and all over ultimately irritating it so much it felt like I had been punched in the eye.  

I did go to the doctor just to see if it was there and he said it wasn't which meant I had created a very bad situation for myself.  He gave me a different pair of lenses to try and I was supposed to take a break from wearing them until my eye got better.  I had a different plan.  I was driving up to my sister's place that afternoon and decided I would like to see while I was driving, so I put the lenses in again, but this time I was definitely going to remember to take them out.  That night my eyes were reminding me well before bedtime to get them out.  Again, the first one came out no problem, but not the second one!  I almost panicked.  But, fortunately, I did get it out almost right away, but not before my eye was screaming at me.  I went to bed that night with it literally throbbing.  I vowed no more contact lenses!

That same night, after having gone to bed, I felt something crawling on my leg.  I brushed it away.  We live in an old house, could have been a spider, I thought in my sleepiness.  It went further down my leg.  I brushed it away again, but this time, what I thought was a spider, bit me so hard I screamed out loud in pain and shock!  I woke up my husband who also yelled, "What happened!"  I told him, "I just got bit by a spider!"  I went to turn on my flashlight on my phone and suddenly I saw what it was - a wasp!  It was sitting on the edge of my bed right beside the spot where I had been "bitten" - turns out it was a sting!  I couldn't believe it!  What was going on with me?!  I killed the wasp and attempted to go back to bed, but between my swollen eye and now my swollen knee (where I had been stung, not bit!), I felt like I had been in a fight!  Needless to say it was a challenge to go back to bed......after a long time I finally fell asleep, but I woke up laughing.....did anyone else get stung while they were sleeping?  We actually have tons of wasps every fall trying to get into our house, but I normally kill them before they get in our sheets!  Last night I definitely checked my bed before going to sleep!

Such strange challenges.....seems like a joke almost that someone was trying to play on me.  For my birthday this year, I was given a copy of part of this blog - from 2013-2015 - just two years, in book format.  My sister had it printed off and bound.  It was over 500 pages long!  I couldn't believe it.  I had no idea how much I had written.  Just for fun, I had my husband read out a few journal entries.  It reminded us of a bunch of stories we had forgotten, car accidents he had been in, times we had been taken care of, funny stories, miraculous stories.....it was really neat to reflect, to see how God had taken care of us again and again.  Even in the funny lens story and the crazy wasp sting story, I was imagining what it would have been like if I had lost of my sight or what if I had been allergic to wasps?  I wish I had been grateful longer, but for a few short moments, I was so grateful that I hadn't lost my sight and that I hadn't gone into anaphylactic shock.  So maybe, these strange little stories of the last two days are just another little entry in my "book" that will remind me of God's care for me even throughout the night.

Today is going to be a big day for two of my kids.  I entered them into their first University of Waterloo math contest!  Hilarious.  It's for the grade 5/6 age group.  It's not the classic addition and subtraction contest, it's more like logic and prepping them for computer coding, but either way, it's a little intimidating.  I've been prepping them for the last few weeks by doing the old contests alongside them.  I HATED EVERY MOMENT!!!  It isn't how my brain works at all.  Sometimes I had to read and then reread every single problem what seemed like 100 times.  I have to say, my logic skills have no doubt improved over the last two months - so funny.  My son told me before he went to bed, "It hurts my brain!"  Oh no.  That means he might be like me.  All the more reason to start him young and train his brain.  So hopefully we're on the right track to getting my kids more mathematically inclined.  I praise God for my new Ph.d. math friend who is walking me through this.  Only God could bring me a friend like that!

But God has a sense of humour, he also has me teaching my other son Algebra, grade 9, and word problems.  Uh, I hate word problems.  But, oddly enough, I'm getting better at that, too.  What is God doing?!  Why is there so much math in my life?!  It might be because I prayed for this, that our year would be better and more math and science focused.  Well, God is oddly answering my prayer, I just don't like His answer.

Anyway, reading the blog has been an encouragement to me to see how these funny things in my life are all signs of how God takes care of us, answers our prayers so specifically, and is in the business of the little details contact lenses, wasps and math.

The Wood Boiler Story

For a long time we've had a number of things on the property that we've wanted to sell.  I'm always amazed how the process works.  I see the things as junk, but others see the things as gold.  My husband is really good at writing great listings and knows the importance of good pictures.  It's amazing to me when someone comes and picks them and PAYS FOR THEM!  

Over the years my husband acquired so much stuff from his engineering business.  Many things he almost scrapped, but then at the last minute he would list them and, amazingly, they sold.  Today is another one of those days.  We bought a wood boiler years ago.  We had big plans that we were going to heat our house with wood and even our shop, but the plumbing required to get it going was so extensive we decided not to.  At times I felt it was such a huge mistake.  I had to keep myself from making my husband feel bad about making what seemed like a poor decision.  It was a lot of money at the time, but this is thing I love so much.  Instead of nagging, I've learned to trust, at least more than I used to.  I've learned to thank God for things I don't always understand and I wondered if this was going to be another one of those situations where God could turn something that seemed like a wrong decision into something for our good.

I think God has this way of banking our money for us, knowing we'll need it some day.  That is kind of what happened here with the wood boiler.  We bought it, never used it and it sat for years.  Then when covid hit, we listed all sorts of things that all sold, but not the wood boiler. But recently with the return of the cold weather, we relisted it and someone just bought it and will pick it up today.  We sold it for more than we bought it and will make good money on it.  Only God can do that.  Only God can take a purchase and allow what seems to be a mistake and turn it into a blessing.  We always seem to need that kind of extra income at just that moment with all the new grape expenses.  So I'm amazed, grateful, excited and it is a good reminder to trust my husband, trust God, and wait to see how He always turns things that make no sense to our good.

The Antler Boiling Party

Recently we have gone from no one in relationships to three of our kids in relationships.  From the time they were newborns we prayed that each one would find themselves in a godly relationship with a godly spouse.  By faith I assumed those relationships would happen.  What I didn't expect was that sometimes, in the search for the right spouse, there can be some ups and downs.  I mean, of course I did, but I guess I didn't know that sometimes there has to be a break or at least a test of some kind to determine how strong the relationship truly is.  This has been the case more than once now.  There's been a test, even a break, and then the relationship has gone on and has been stronger for it.

As parents this has been truly unpleasant, navigating the path alongside our children.  We would have just rather gone to the spouse store, picked one and then given them the gift at the right time.  Oh....that's called an arranged marriage!  I forgot!  Yes!  That's what I would have wanted!  I am all for arranged marriages.  But, for some reason, our kids seem to want a say.  So weird.  In our lame wisdom we allowed this and it seems it is just not always easy when two imperfect people get together in this imperfect world.  However, by more faith, more prayer....so much prayer.....tears, long conversations.....and just trusting God for the outcome, we now have a very full house with lots of extra people over - I mean, socially- distanced outside, of course.

Recently, we held one of the funniest nights of our lives.  We call it the "Antler Boiling Party".  Have you ever had one of the those?  They are very fun.  Everyone should have one.\ It had been one of those times when there had been a break, a test or two in the relationships and now, on one strange night, everyone literally in the family and those connected to the family were all going to come together again.  After a time of distance, how do you suddenly get everyone back together without it being awkward?  You have an Antler Boiling Party OBVIOUSLY!!!  An Antler Boiling Party was not my idea.  It was actually my son's.  He and a buddy had picked up some antlers from some deer from work.  I didn't realize deer lose their antlers and regrow them every year, but apparently that is the case.  I personally don't want antlers hanging on my wall, but these two young guys did and in order to do that you have to boil them in boiling water for hours.  So my son had it all set up and invited his friend over for the Antler Boiling Party.  There was a fire, a huge barrel full of water for the antlers, and then all our kids.  The extra "friends" were invited, too, some of whom hadn't been around for a bit and it could have been strange and awkward, but really, how can it be when you have everyone standing around a metal barrel full of boiling water and antlers?  So hilarious.  It was also great to have so many young children hanging out by the fire, too.  They are oblivious to any potential tension and they certainly make for a lot of laughs.  The antler bros, i.e., my son and his friend, were also huge comic relief, as who boils antlers for fun except these two?  To be honest, they also were oblivious to any strangeness in the evening and really just cared about their antlers and that's where I think God comes in.  No one wanted a big deal.  No one wanted stress.  Everyone just wanted to peace and love and I think that's why the Antler Boiling Party was perfect and, dare I say, God's design.  It was a comical way to all be outside, standing around, laughing, communing, fellowshiping, and just relaxing, without a big "to-do". Friendships and relationships were re-established where there had been a pause and arms were socially-distanced, yet outstretched, to regroup and regather.

If you were to google "Antler Boiling Party" and how to hold one, I'm quite certain no information would come up.  That's how I kind of know God was in this.  I couldn't have come up with the idea in a million years.  If it had been up to us, we probably would have started building towers on our property, one for each one of our children, where each one could stay for the rest of their lives.  It would have been easier to put them all in their own individual tower, but that isn't what God wants.  He wants Antler Boiling Parties where people connect or reconnect, reach out, bridge distances.  He wants people in fellowship, in relationships, in families, and one day in their own families.  Not with any wisdom of our own, but with God's help, He used this funny way to calmly help our family where we had been uncertain how to move forward.

For now, all seems well.  As I said, three of our children, are involved in relationships.  I now have a more realistic perspective.  I actually am grateful for all that their relationships are teaching me.  We don't want to be white-washed walls or white painted cups that look only good on the outside.  We recognize the importance of washing the inside of the cup, recognizing none of us are perfect.  I don't want to pretend my kids, my family, their relationships, are perfect when that isn't true - we are all sinners needing a Saviour and we are imperfect parents.  They are imperfect children and relationships, even godly ones, can be messy and hard to navigate.  In the end The Antler Boiling Party was a great reminder though that God comes into our lives in such unique ways and helps us when we don't know how to help ourselves.  Hopefully we won't need any more Antler Boiling Parties, but if we do now I know how to do them and I can recommend how to set them up for anyone who is interested.

Social Media, Family Prayer and Young Adults

I am always in awe of how God provides for us.  We have always had the concord grapes at the bottom of our property and we've always enjoyed them.  We've picked them and made juice and jelly, even wine one year, but we've never taken full advantage of them the way we did this year.  That's where social media comes in....

I can't explain it really.  Perhaps I was overwhelmed with all that was on my plate, but navigating social media just felt like it was one more thing to deal with, so I just didn't.  I knew it would literally keep me from managing my home and taking care of the kids, so I chose to never use it...until this past summer.  Because I had the garden and produce to sell, including eggs and chicken, I finally bit the bullet one day and opened a Facebook account.  Then I was exposed to the world of Facebook marketplace.  It wasn't a huge success to be honest.  I sold a few eggs and a few harvest boxes, but it wasn't a crazy success.  That was fine, I didn't want to be too overwhelmed.  I sold enough to make a few dollars and to get my feet wet.  But then I thought I would list the grapes as a u-pick venture and oh my goodness, I was busy.  For a few weekends it was party central over here.  I was amazed.  People came with their young families, their senior parents, their carloads of grape pickers and they went nuts picking and picking and paying and paying.  I just couldn't believe it.  

I think I would have been even more successful if we hadn't had a mysterious amount of grapes go missing.  We actually think we were robbed from people as we've seen people take our grapes before when they don't think we're looking.  That was super disappointing, but God knows.  It made me wonder why I hadn't taken advantage of social media before in that way, but again, I just wasn't in that space.  It goes to show you that there can be a positive aspect to it when you use it for good.  I also wonder why our eyes weren't opened to this strange source of income before....all those years when I could have been selling grapes....seems like such a waste, but again, I can't live in regret.

I, once again, thank God for the Covid crisis as that got us down in the grapes pruning and making the trees.  If I hadn't pruned the entire vineyard, I'm quite certain the grapes wouldn't have been as amazing as they were this year.  It's amazing to see how God was in each step even during the lockdown.

It makes me wonder what other strange sources of income are right under our noses.  It has me praying about that all the time.

This year for our anniversary to commemorate the 25 years of our marriage, I bought a print I have wanted for years, probably 11 or 12 years now.  I have always wanted to buy it for RM for either his birthday, father's day or another anniversary, but I've never planned it far enough in advance.  I've never had enough foresight to get my act together.  This year I actually thought about it in time to find it and even to get it framed.  It is the painting of all paintings, by George Agnew called "Family Prayer".  It shows a family on their knees crying out to God.  You have no idea why they are praying, but you can tell their pleading with God for something.  The mother has her hand over her face in what appears to be desperation, holding on to her child lovingly by her side as they kneel with her.  The grandfather is also leaning on his cane with his face covered in reverent prayer.  Two more kids, perhaps not as engaged in prayer, kneel at a bench.  The father is at the center of it, looking to God through the window as the light shines on his face.  It seems to be a picture of hope as he looks to God for his strength.  The mother is turned away from the window...is she perhaps less hopeful, more discouraged?  It's hard to say.  All I know is that it epitomized our family so well I had to have it.  We picked it up after getting it framed that first week of September and then it sat on the table in the family room for weeks.  It was framed with barn board from our farm.  The framer had attached the barn board to another picture frame to make it more sturdy, but that also made it very heavy.  I typically hang anything on our wall with simply a nail or even a push pin.  This was going to require a heavy duty anchor that I wasn't sure how to do.  I was so afraid it would fall and break the frame.  But I asked RM to do this during a time that was the busiest farming time.  So it sat and sat and sat some more.  I really was a very patient wife!  I knew it would get hung eventually......

Yesterday we had the young adults from church over for a campfire and worship time.  It was a quieter day as the wine making is in a sit and wait season and there wasn't much to do around the farm, so I asked if it could be hung before everyone came over and to my great joy it got hung!  So here it is....I'm so thrilled.  It is in the hallway that everyone walks by every day a hundred times a day.  It's right at the height that everyone can see and literally stand and observe it as if it were in a museum.  I love it sooooo much.  More than anything it reminds me that life is hard and that there are other families besides our's, even in past generations, that have gone through struggles.  It reminds me that the only source of strength is God and that it is so important to cry out to Him as a family.  It reminds me, too, to stay on my knees, but perhaps to turn to the window and not stay in the shadow. 

It was actually a really beautiful night yesterday when the young adults came over.  Everyone is seeking fellowship during this coronavirus time, but knows they have to keep outside and social distanced, so properties where everyone can be outside are ideal.  Last night was warmer still, but windy, so everyone stayed out side by the fire as long as possible, but then they all moved inside to the barn where it was more protected by the wind.  It was such an amazing picture to me to see everyone on a hay bale or a chair, playing guitar and singing.  It smelled a little chickeny, but mostly like hay!  It just made me so happy to see the barn used in that way.  And again, thanks to corona virus, we have to choose to be a little more creative in order to connect with others, but it works!

And finally....the painting...now hanging in the hall:

Thanksgiving Reflections 2020

We don't mean to do things the hard way.  It just seems to be the way we do them.  This weekend was a great example of that....again.  We now jokingly call the winery we accidentally started, the "Bozo" winery.  One day, when our book comes out, people will see how we made the wine and it'll just make people laugh.  Everything so far has been done by hand.  The only reason that is funny is because "real" wineries have hired help or machines or automation!  Not us.  Nope.  But, remember, we do things without spending money and all those things cost a lot of money....not because we didn't always try to buy the machinery, however.  We did try, for little money, but, they don't always work when you don't spend a lot of money on them.  

For example, this weekend we had to take all the red grape skins and seeds out of the 3 giants vats we have full of thousands of liters of wine.  Normal wineries do this with a pump.  We bought a used pump on kijiji, but, like a lot of equipment on the farm, it was a Toys "R" Us pump, or so it seemed, and wouldn't do the job, so my husband and one or two of the children had to manually, pail by pail, scoop out all the wine, mixed with the skins and seeds, and then press it, manually again, into a fruit press (which normal wineries have machines do as well!) and then pour then into the waiting barrels.  My husband's hands were literally black, stained by the wine, and borderline injured, from all the scooping.  Because there was a timeline and an urgency to this, it wasn't something you could stop midway or the wine would be ruined, he and my daughter (who we joked is after the inheritance) stayed up until 1:30 in the morning.  It took a couple of long days like that, and lots of wine-stained hands, but it got done.  All the wine is now transferred and the second stage of fermentation will begin shortly.  It looks and tastes like real wine and if nothing goes wrong, which it can always go wrong, it looks like we'll have a good batch of both red and white.  I still can hardly believe I'm writing that.

We all looked back last night, almost as if it were New Year's Eve, and just reflected on what we are grateful for.  One of my kids said how they were grateful for the vineyard.  It really has been a family affair and one that has brought us together.  We certainly have more purpose for living right now.  It has added a certain amount of stress as we have new deadlines, all self-imposed, but it's all in the name of the greater good.  We used to have tower contracts which were insanely hard to get done, but after the short time of intensity the pay was good and we knew it would be hard for a few weeks and then there would be a time of quiet.  That's kind of what this has been like.  I'll look at my husband with eyes that say, "Are we nuts?"  and then he says, "It's a tower contract".  And, suddenly, it's true, the wine has already fermented, the skins and the seeds are out, the barrels are full, and now we just wait.

We also discovered that we truly overlooked our concord vineyard for years.  I had a source of good income under my nose for years and didn't realize it.  As we went around last night thanking God for things, we also thanked God for Covid.  This is related to the concords in that it was because of Covid that my husband lost a good chunk of his income.  If he hadn't lost his income we wouldn't have been forced to think of new ways to make money.  I wouldn't have been pushed to go down to the vines, to prune the branches to make the trees, (which I've mostly decided to keep because I love them so much even though I could have sold them!), but in all the pruning the grapes came back with a vengeance and when I saw them grow this summer, I realized I could sell them as well.  I ended up having lots of friends and family come to pick, but also had a lot of success with u-pick. We had two or three weekends when we had lots and lots of people come out.  I was in awe.  It was another source of income that blessed our family so much.  I didn't have to "go" to work outside of the home, it was literally a walk down to the field.  I used some of that money last week to buy winter coats and winter clothes that my kids needed.  Such a blessing.  I used it to pay a repair man to fix our dishwasher as well.  I used it to buy groceries.  It was amazing.  I regret that I didn't see what a gift was sitting under my nose all these years as many years went by when the grapes rotted on the vines.  However, I was quite overwhelmed by who-knows-what...kids, pregnancies, toddlers?  Don't know, but maybe God didn't open my eyes to it until now in His providence.  All I know is that my eyes are open now and I will definitely be the vine pruner, tree maker, and u-picker again this Spring, Lord willing....

And I think that is the moral of this Thanksgiving....it's been in the trials that we discovered new sources of income.  It was because of the loss of income, it was because of the birds eating our grapes, it was because of Covid that my eyes were opened to the concord grapes.....all of these things that seemed like disasters and unexpected and frustrating trials, that God used them for good in our life.  My home is now decorated in pretty vine trees and vine balls, we've now started a new venture in the world of wine making and hopefully selling, and we experienced an extra source of income from the grapes that we've never had before this year.  To me, it's the definitive experience that Ann Voskamp has known for years - giving thanks for everything and then the miracle is imminent.  It really is true.  We feel we're in the middle of a miracle fairly regularly around here.  I'm starting to truly see the pattern of thanksgiving, not just once a year, on the holiday, but in my daily living.

In My Tent of Meeting

This morning I purposely woke up early even though I didn't get a lot of sleep.  There's just so much going on in the lives of my children, I felt I needed to spend a significant amount of time praying.  I wanted to skip my Bible reading (that might sound funny), because I knew I was reading in, dare I say, a part of the Bible in Exodus that was about the building, designing of the tent of meeting.  I wanted to be reading something that would inspire me more today, like the Psalms, or something like that.  But where I ended up reading - Exodus 28 - which was the next chapter in my daily reading, was just perfect.  I should have known...every word is profitable, right?

Exodus 28 is all about the priests' garments.  So many times it talks about the specific skill required to make them and how God fills "all the skillful, whom I have filled with a spirit of skill" to make them in a very specific way.  I was immediately impacted by the fact that sewing is something God loves, "for glory and for beauty" it says.  I have a sewing daughter.  It is so amazing to watch how she makes things, just for fun and is getting better and better at it.  I'll remind her today of the importance of sewing and how God can use it in her life!  It also goes on to describe how the "names of the sons of Israel" will be engraved on the stones "in order of their birth" and how Aaron "shall bear their names before the Lord on his two shoulder for remembrance....to bring them to regular remembrance before the Lord.....regularly...."  I knew I was in the exact right passage today.

Last night I was up until 10 with my older children.  Each one is going through so many amazing things and some more challenging things.  We all talked and talked.  I actually really loved it.   But this is the thing, I feel like I'm at the center of each situation as I am the counsellor, the academic advisor, the love coach, the mentor, the discipliner......yikes.  How am I supposed to know what to do all the time?!  My oldest son and I sat for almost 3 hours last night looking over each aspect of his med school application.  We didn't want to miss a period, a comma, a blank space......I felt like his life was hinging on that form.  With barely two hours to spare, he got it in on time...now we wait.  Talk about the pressure!

Meanwhile, I have that same kind of involvement in just different forms with each one of the other children.  It all just seems so much!  I think I'm going to get some garments made with stones that I wear on my shoulders.  I'll get some engravers to engrave their names on them and then I'll go into the tent of meeting and regularly bring them before the Lord.  But then, I realize.  I don't have to get any garments made.  Or stones engraved.  I just need to sit here.  And pray, one by one....in their birth order and regularly bring them before the Lord.  It's literally all I can do.  I can't magically get my son into med school or help each one get the perfect spouse with a click of my fingers or help them finish college overnight or teach them better habits in areas where they struggle......I can ONLY regularly bring their names, which are on my heart day and night, to the only tent of meeting I know, my family room, looking at the sun rise, on my chair, and say name after name, issue after issue, asking/begging God for wisdom for each one.

I'm so glad I didn't skip to a more "inspiring" passage of Scripture.  That was the exact one I needed to read today.

My Husband and Noah....they have a lot in common

Unbelievably, we can thank the birds for eating all the grapes in our "red block" for the strange opportunity it has pushed us into.  

When we first walked through the vines mid-summer and we saw all the grapes being eaten, there was a sinking feeling in our stomachs.  We did all that we could without spending a fortune.  We added the ribbons, the bird calls and kept our eyes open, but the netting we needed was way out of our reach, at least for this year, and so we just had to watch and pray as day after the day the birds swooped in, eating almost every single last grape.

I watched to see my husband's reaction.  I was quite happy to see him just say, "It's ok.  There's nothing we can do."  I was kind of glad he didn't freak out.  I was glad he didn't say, "We're sunk" or fall into some kind of grape depression.  It was more of a "we'll figure this out and learn for next year" kind of reaction.  I think this helped me to stay calm, too.  

The problem was we had planned to sell both the reds and whites for profit, obviously.  We had sunk a lot of money and labour into the grapes over the years including 3 years of spraying, 3 years of hoeing, 3 years of pruning, weeding, etc.....it did hurt a little to see it all go to waste.

Knowing there was only going to be a super small crop of reds, if any, and maybe not so great a crop of whites (disease had hit them, too, despite all the spraying and care), we looked at how much we were going to make and it was pretty dismal.  This is where we can thank the birds.  It really forced us to see what we could do better in order to make it more worthwhile.

We looked at the income from the sale of grapes.  It was ok - IF you had a full crop.  We looked at the income from the sale of juice from having the grapes crushed.  Better?  We looked at the income from the sale of fermented juice, i.e., wine - much better.  It was a no-brainer for my husband.  Just like that, he started the research for what he needed to do in order to become a winery or at least a winemaker/seller.  In a matter of days and weeks, he had applied for all the licenses required to process, crush, ferment grapes (who knew there were so many licenses required?).  \\

The next step was to find equipment - oh, that costs thousands of dollars.  Problem.  We didn't want to go into debt one bit and we wanted to do this entire venture with cash.  I know!  Buy old, broken equipment!  Perfect!  Ugh.  But that's what we're good at.  We make our money by using, and somehow making work, all the old stuff.  So he found some HUGE grape presses and made a ridiculously low offer, because they were old and broken, and they accepted it.  They should be arriving any day.  They are very big and very heavy so that is a process in and of itself, getting them here.  They'll sit in our shop where I'm sure my husband is going to have lots of fun fixing them over the winter.

Next, being a professor at the college, he had access to all the winemaking courses for free.  Scrap that.  No time to take the course.  Instead, he bought all the books, read them all summer, self-educated himself and is now entering into the world of wine-making.  He's made wine before, but not on this level.  Next thing I know, he's bought every single type of yeast you can imagine and over the fall/winter will be experimenting with different kinds of fermentation.  But this isn't the funniest part....

Back to the grapes....we listed our lame grapes for sale on the grape growers website.  We got a call from Quebec and we were happy to hear they wanted what we were selling.  We told them our crop was small and they seemed ok with that, but casually asked if we could find them some more grapes to make up for the small amount we had.  This got my husband thinking....look for grapes and sell them for a profit?  Sure!  Next thing you know he's buying and selling grapes for this winery in Quebec. And, on top of all that, due to the low volume of reds, we decided to keep all of those for ourselves and once we found more grapes from a different vineyard, we decided to also keep our whites to practice the winemaking!  And, it turns out he ended up shipping tons of grapes to Quebec, all from different vineyards that he sourced out.  The crazier thing was he also sourced out all the bins required to hold all the grapes.  I don't know how many trips he made out to Toronto to buy these bins.  Each time he came back with more bins I thought my husband was losing his mind.  I had no idea what he was up to.  Half the time this summer he'd get up and say, "Gotta go...I'll be back in a few hours...."  I would barely get two words out and then he'd be gone.  Our property was covered in these gigantic white bins that could hold a half a ton of grapes in each one.  But as of today, they are all gone....he bought, somewhat miraculously, just enough for all the grape buying and selling he did...and he made a profit on those bins, too, as he got them at such a low price.  Crazy, how did he even know to do that?!

So, in a matter of weeks, if not days, our WHOLE LIFE has changed.   We are on a completely different trajectory.  I have to say, it has been a very wild ride, super fast, super hilarious and quite fun if not funny.  My kids can't even keep track of it all.  I can't even keep track of it all.  My husband is who-knows-where half the time wheeling and dealing, the whole time somehow managing a full-time job and part-time teaching, too.  But, he LOVES this.  This is what he's created for.  It's the entrepreneurial spirit coming out of him in full-force.  We prayed and prayed over the whole corona lockdown for a way to bring him home.  This could be it.  

But before I get ahead of myself too much....we now have an interesting week ahead....we hand-picked the reds last weekend, it only took a few hours because there were none left.  The wine-making has already started there.  The whites we did this weekend.  There were over two tons.  That was a great crop for our first year.  We brought in friends and family and had such a great turnout.  It was so amazing.  Felt like a barn-raising event.  Those grapes have already been delivered to a local winery to press and crush for us as our presses aren't ready yet.  We'll get the juice today and then....more wine-making.  THEN, because we had such a lousy red crop, we ordered grapes (crushed and pressed) from that other winery.  That juice also arrives this week, so we'll have two tons of that juice arriving...that's a LOT OF JUICE.  Then, my husband, the new winemaker, will start his crazy new project.  I don't know how he keeps all these balls up in the air, but in a way, I think it keeps him alive and full of excitement.  And, like I said, it's funny to hear the kids, "What is Dad doing!?"  "Where is Dad?"  "What are we doing with all these grapes?  He's something else.....

We've been reading in Genesis and yesterday's verse was, "Noah began to be a man of the soil, and he planted a vineyard."  That's it - my husband hasn't always been "a man of the soil" nor a vineyard planter, but he is now.  Four years ago, when he sat me down and said "This is what I want to do", if I had said, "NO", we wouldn't be doing what we're doing now.  It took 4 years from that first visioning lunch we had to today.  Those four years would have passed either way.  I'm glad we didn't listen to the voice in our head that said, "It'll take too long"  "It's too much work"  "You have no idea what you're doing".  Noah must have known it would take time which is why it was one of the first things he did getting off the ark.  

Now there's lots to do.  We won't be bored this Fall or Winter.

The MCAT Mountain - Grace, grace to it!

The waiting is over, the mark is in.....after two weeks of pins and needles, my son got his MCAT mark.  The night before I had dreamed he had failed.  I was so relieved to wake up and discover it was just a dream.  He had a number in his head that he knew he needed to get in order to be competitive - 510 - and, just to keep him humble and remind him that he still needs faith, he got a 509.  This is not by any means the best score for the MCAT, many get higher, but it is a GOOD score and people get into med school with this mark, so he was HAPPY to say the least and we were all so relieved, praising God for His goodness once again.

I had written in my journal the day we were waiting for the mark that, depending on the score, our life was about to change.  And it has.  Almost within minutes of getting the score, he had to send out all sorts of emails to the people he knew that he wanted as references.  He couldn't do this until he got his mark, but now, he literally has only 2 weeks to get his extensive application together, due by October 1!  Yikes....always so much pressure around here!  He sent all the reference requests out and right away he heard from all of them promising positive references.  That was such an encouragement to him.  His GPA is good, his references are good, his experience is excellent and his MCAT is competitive, so I truly believe he has a really good chance of getting in - 5000 applications for only 200 spots!  So maybe not, but it seems God is so clearly leading him down this path.  He'll only apply to 3 schools this year as he only will have finished his 3rd year and half way through his 4th.  Only a few schools let you apply after 3rd year.

The week before we had so many encouraging verses for him, including this one, Psalm 128:2, "You will eat the fruit of your labour; blessings and prosperity will be yours."  And then, while we were away at the cabin, I read this amazing verse in Zechariah 4 that talks about a mountain.  This passage is amazing, "Then he said to me, 'This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel:  Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.  Who are you, O great mountain?  Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain.  And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of 'Grace, grace to it!"

As I shared that passage with the family up north, we realized each one of us had a mountain in our life- the math mountain (some of us really struggle with math!), the homeschool mountain (I don't always feel like the best homeschool mom!), the MCAT mountain, the piano mountain, the work mountain.....SO MANY MOUNTAINS!  It's like living in the Appalachians!  But the passage is so great because it says, "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit"!  Yes, we can plan and study, but ultimately it is GOD who makes the way.  And how does God get rid of the mountain and make it a plain?  By shouting, "Grace, grace to it!"  Only grace.

The night before we got the results of the MCAT, we all prayed, heads bowed, everyone, one-by-one asking God for His mercy on my son.  When it came to my 10 year old to pray, he said, "Grace to it!  Grace to the mountain!"  I couldn't believe that two weeks after I had shared that passage with the kids, he remembered that.  I immediately felt this amazing peace, that no matter what, bad mark or good mark, my son would be ok.  If he didn't do well, it was because the mountain wasn't moved yet and that God was still working grace in his life.  If the he did do well, God had flattened the mountain and it was only His grace that had done it.  No amount of studying and working hard can move mountains.  We all had to come to a place where we surrendered our rights to a good mark.  We had to acknowledge God, His sovereignty, His power.  That powerful prayer time left all of us at peace knowing God was in control.

Getting the mark back was like watching the mountain fall into the sea.  God had done it.  Grace had done it.  I believe my son was faithful with his time and God blessed him.  I'm so grateful.  

The truth is, now there's another mountain - the med school mountain.  But, won't there always be a mountain, a new trial, this side of heaven?  God has this way of keeping us on our knees, keeping us faithful, humbled, and crying out for His grace in our lives.  It's a good place to be.

A Great Start - at least for day 1!

 I think that had to be the best first day of school....at least it seemed great to me!  When I was describing it to my husband later, I realized, I'm really only homeschooling 2 kids right now, the 8 and 10 year old.  The other kids operate very independently and I'm just this lady they talk to once in awhile when they have a problem.  I kept thinking to myself, "Why is this going so well?"  Oh!  It's because they aren't 3!  They can walk!  They can talk!  They know how to feed themselves!  They can read!  It's a marvel to me that I made it through those younger years.  They are BY FAR the hardest.  I just didn't know it.  Guess what I will be doing whenever I see a younger homeschooling mom.....I'm going to tell them how GREAT  they are and how AMAZING  it is that they are doing what they're doing and that they'll MAKE IT!!!  If I can, they can.

The other amazing thing that happened in just the last two weeks was I transformed my house into a "campus".  I have a primary/elementary wing, a junior high wing, a high school wing, a boarding school wing, a college/university wing and a music school.  Genius.  All without any money spent on school renovations.  I do this every year.  I stand in the middle of a room and I put my hands on my chin (my kids always get worried whenever I do this) and I pray and I pray.  I ask God to show me what to do, to help me figure things out, to help me figure out my "stuff" so that everything will have a place, so that I'll be happier, the kids will be happier, things will go smoother, etc.  After the pandemic hit I started making those crazy vine trees and had the beaver dam of vines in my house for literally months.  I thought I was going to sell them and I still might, but for a long time, even after the beaver dam was gone, I had these crazy trees all in a corner of a room looking like a little forest of vines.  It didn't look bad, but I knew I needed the space back for school.  What to do?

I also knew I needed books back in our family room area.  I had moved them all to my room upstairs because I didn't like the chaos the shelves had become, but the problem was, if you move the books, no one reads.  But have you ever tried to move shelves with books on them?  It makes my kids SO MAD AT ME!!!!  "MOM!  WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS AGAIN!!!!???"  Oh well, I make them move them anyway.  haha.  I also stood in my AWFUL mudroom area and put my hands on my chin and prayed and prayed there, too.  "Lord!  What do I do with all this clutter?"  I really needed a place for a school office/administration area and I didn't want it in the kitchen, the family room, or my bedroom.....what to do yet again?  Suddenly it came to me....get rid of the crates, or at least some of them.  So that's what I did.  I had my two of my sons move all their clothes up to their room, stuffing them under beds and taking crates for their clothes upstairs.  Now I had a place for a desk, which is just a long white board resting on crates, in the back of the mudroom.  I brought down all my teacher books, curriculum, resources, printers, etc....and I had a secret study for all my stuff, away from everything.  Then, it occurred to me, and this is the amazing part, my 14 year old could also use this as his private study center (i.e., my new highschool wing).  He LOVED the idea.  Yesterday when he used it for the first time I kept thinking, "Why is there no arguing, no fighting?"  Ohhhhhhh......my two firecracker boys aren't seeing each other!  The 10 year old and the 14 year are explosive almost every time they are in the same room.  All of last year, I was separating them.  Yesterday, one child was with me, one was in the high school wing and all was at rest.

The books made themselves downstairs as well and now all the kids are reading more.  My vine trees decided to not leave but instead I ended up using almost all of them in my decorating which, to me, looks AMAZING!  I love how they look!  Might be a bit of vine tree overkill, but I love it.  My 12 year old works in the junior high wing/library and she loved it, too.  It's cozy, Christmas twinkly lights everywhere, books all around her, her own table....lovely and near me so if she has a question I just am a quick walk away.  That was the only thing I did notice yesterday, I was walking all over the "campus" answering questions!  Oh well, getting my steps in, I guess.

We had debated ALL YEAR about sending my gr. 12 daughter to school.  She's my "cat" child.  Loves sleep and loves to, uh, sleep.  How would I get her up each day?  But God just kept showing me, over and over and over, no, keep her home.  But I didn't want to!  I wanted to send her!  I was willing to work in the mines to send her!  But, it didn't feel right.  So what then?  I researched all the curriculum she needed to make her feel like she was accomplishing all the right courses and we spent more than we normally have in years, but still waaaaay cheaper than private school.  This made her very happy.  She had curriculum she could feel and see and turn pages (no online courses).  She loved that.  She could look at each book and know how much to do each day.  To my utter shock, she woke up right away yesterday (only day 1, but off to a good start!) and like a little 6 year old, came down so many times telling me, "I just got smarter!"  So I think we made the right choice.  She seems to enjoy what we picked and went at it.  She's the boarding school child.  I send her "away" to the school upstairs where she has room and board.  The only difference is she keeps coming downstairs to tell me how smart she is.

My college wing has an indoor/outdoor location.  My son's college classes are all online.  He can study above the music room in his loft or if need be he can move to my husband's office in the shop, outside.  He's set up for both spaces if it is too loud or if he needs more space to work.  My university son will study in his room, but he did that all summer for the MCAT so he's quite happily set up there.  I can NOT believe all 8 will be home this Fall, including my husband.  It's absolutely nuts and full of people everywhere, but oddly because of the set up of the house, seems so spaceious and no one is running into anyone anymore.  It's almost as if the school doubled its capacity with just a few changes.

I also can't believe how much we all need a schedule.  I rewrite them every year.  I make them for every child, for every subject.  I print them out and display them.  It motivates each one to stay on track.  There are no questions as to what to do.  Chores were done in and outside and the house looked great when we started yesterday morning.  When the house is orderly it makes such  difference in how school goes.  Clean house, happy kids, happier mom.  So, a good start to the year.  Maybe day 2 will be rougher, but at least the first day went well.

Twenty Five Years....Celebrating the Back Story

 Today marks the end of summer unofficially as we attempt to start school.  Wow....it never ceases to amaze me how fast it goes.  We managed to end with a bang as we celebrated our 25th anniversary.  It was a dream come true for me and such an answer to prayer as I had wanted to do something all summer, but there was just no way we could do it.  Here's the back story....

For many anniversaries, we take the 40 days, or 6 weeks leading up to it, to pray, fast, give something up, in the name of seeking the Lord for our family, our marriage, our specific needs, requests, burdens.  This summer we had so many.  We were praying for two of our children taking the biggest exams of their lives.  We were praying for better patterns in everyone's lives.  We had taken a hit financially with covid impacting my husband's work, so we were praying for miracles in our making extra income.  We were praying for godly spouses for our kids.  The list goes on and on...and I was also praying for God to bless us in a way that only He could for our anniversary.  That sounds so selfish writing it down.  I knew I was acting somewhat entitled and so I surrendered it every single time it came into my mind.  

I wanted the 6 weeks to look a little different this time.  I didn't want it to be, dare I say, "typical".  I wanted it to be a challenge in the sense that it was going to really force me on my knees to pray in a way I never had before.  After meeting with a friend a couple of times this summer to swim and hang out, she described her most recent health changes they had made - the whole family had become vegan.  I cringed.  There is no way, I thought, but as I met with her the second time, I asked a million questions and got great answers.  I walked away knowing that was it.  I would attempt, in my most feeble way, to be vegan for 40 days. No meat, no dairy, just veggies, nuts, beans and fruit.  It was almost funny as I thought about it.  The funniest part of the whole thing is, I ended up loving it!  There were so many recipes for all the things I loved and missed.  I would literally type in butter chicken and then add the word "vegan" and suddenly a vegan recipe would come up for something that tasted almost exactly like it, but without meat.  So I did this for every single meal, every single snack, everything.  And, to top it off, I was the only one in the family being vegan.  My husband was doing his own fast, but still ate meat.  I cooked all the meat and just always had a separate meal on the side going on.  I've never made so many veggie burgers.  I would occasionally make the whole family eat vegan for a meal without telling them and they always liked it....every single time, so the food is very good.  I will 100% keep cooking with less meat, maybe not entirely, but it is way cheaper and super healthy and just as delicious.  

All that to say, with my new crazy lifestyle/fast, I was definitely praying all day every day.  I cannot even believe all the breakthroughs we saw happen.  The Lord answered so many prayers for our family from providing in so many creative ways such as through the garden, and selling things that never should have sold, to giving my husband super creative ways to make extra money on the side.  Because of the garden, I felt like I was never at the grocery store and because of the meat birds we had grown and the chickens that were laying, I never had to buy meat or eggs (I must say I can cook chicken 1000 different ways now...)  I learned to save money even more than usual.

As the end of August approached, I knew we had no extra money to go away.  Leaving the country was out of the question and I couldn't see us spending any on going away even locally, but I just kept praying.  I shared my concern with a friend of mine who understood and prayed with me.  She had heard of a place that was up north that normally had a kids summer camp.  They were renting out the cabins to families all summer instead of to kids.  She suggested that to us.  I said to her, "No, it's not an option right now for us." That was the end of that.  

Later on that summer, she and her family went up to that camp themselves and enjoyed a few days there.  While she was up there, she felt a tremendous prompting to call us and tell us that she and her husband wanted to bless us with a few days up there for just the two of us.  I couldn't believe it.  But as generous as it was, I immediately knew we could never go.  How could we go to a fun camp with all sorts of fun things to do WITHOUT our kids!!! I would have been kayaking, swimming and paddleboarding the whole time wishing they were there.  So we graciously thanked them for their kindness, but said no.

Then, a few nights later, I woke up and thought to myself, "Who do we think we are to say no to someone's kindness?  Maybe there is a way that some of us can go...."  Of course I hoped for the whole family to go, but the older kids had done a few things this summer, so maybe it would just be the younger ones?  I spoke to the older kids and asked if they'd be ok if just the younger ones went away with us.  They all said, "Of course!"  They even offered to help pay to get us there.  The days the camp was open for us to come was the first week of school, so the older ones couldn't really miss school anyway.  I shared with my friend that we were now reconsidering going, but maybe with just the younger ones.  But I told her how sad it was making me to leave behind the older kids.  She prayed that day a prayer that moved mountains.

THE NEXT MORNING, I got an email out of the blue from the camp.  I had told them we were not going and had left it at that.   I never told them why or all the things that made it impossible to come. In the email, the camp said they had an unexpected cancellation ON OUR ANNIVERSARY DAY.  Would we like to take that time slot.  I have no idea what compelled them to even suggest it.  This changed everything.  Now my older kids wouldn't miss school.  But could they all get the time off?  Impossible.  Each workplace was very rigid on not taking time off without a ton of warning.  Each one asked and to my utter amazement they ALL got it off.  They were all ok to contribute to the mini-getaway.  The camp even knocked a little bit more money off because of the size of our family....how amazing is that?!  We also got an additional night added on so it went from two to three nights....that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I really hoped for the 3rd night.

Suddenly, what seemed impossible was happening.  We were getting away to a cabin up north completely last minute.  We left right on the day of our anniversary which seemed to make it even more special.  We were going to a place that had so many activities I can't even begin to describe.  It was a camp after all for kids!  The best part - we had the run of the ENTIRE CAMP with literally no one there except for one other family and a few adults that stuck to themselves.  We took over 4 cabins.  The girls took one, the older boys took another and then RM and I shared one with the little boys.  We had one just for cooking......it was perfect.  We overlooked the most scenic lake and had a private dock....the only way I could explain it was that all of us had our hearts full all week.  We would look around and say, "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ALL HERE!!!" and say that over and over.  I couldn't believe how God brought it all together.  I never would have planned it or thought it or dreamed it.  It was just perfect.  The kids were busy all day fishing, swimming, kayaking, doing archery (that made me so happy that my older kids did the activities, too) or just hanging out.  It was a gift from God.  I ate meat all week and LOVED IT!  We bbq'd most meals and enjoyed that so much!  

After we got back, we shared with our friends how grateful we were to them and for their generosity.  God used them in our lives and helped create my most memorable vacation/anniversary yet.  I think because it was so obviously brought together by God made us appreciate it even more.  I felt each child was that much more enthusiastic about being there.  I didn't get the sense once that that weren't appreciating every single second of their time.  Would I have preferred a Caribbean getaway?  Not really....this was literally only 4 hours away, no plane ride, no passports, no stress.  I didn't have to worry about thousands of other guests....this was our personal getwaway.  The bonus?  We did get to interact with the other family and I got to share with the mom about our faith as she observed our family all week.  The camp wasn't Christian and so hopefully we were testimonies to them as well and to the staff.

So I'm in awe....God blessed us so much.  As I surrendered my dreams and desires for something, I didn't even know what to hope for, I would sometimes take my hopes back and feel pity for myself, but then I would surrender and relinquish them again.  God heard me and in His grace.....only His grace, He chose to bless us and it was just amazing.  I'm so grateful.    

Encouragement for a Young Man

This is the week we've all been waiting for.....exam week.  If my son passes, then I pass.  If my son passes, then we all pass.  We've been shushing everyone all summer.  All of us try to tiptoe through the house as he studies.  It's been a summer of ups and downs as he does well on a practice exam one week, then not as good the next.  He has a good study day, then a bad one.  He has written 11 practice exams this summer, ranging from 5 1/2-7 hours each time.  He has studied 40 hours a week.  He has been in contact with others who have written it before him.  He's been prayed for by so many.  We've been to the testing center.  We've walked the grounds.  We've booked a hotel for the night before so he has no reason to be late.  And now, this Saturday he writes.....he is as ready as he'll ever be and unbelievably (except that he's prayed for) he feels great!

But there's been an emotional toll and a spiritual one as time and time again the enemy has tried to get him where he is weakest, attacking any area of insecurity or fear.  Yet, we've fought back and have been in awe at all the encouragement he has received at just the right moment - a text, an email, a phone call, by people he least expected to hear from.  

Exodus 17 was what I read yesterday, "But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other one the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun."

Isn't that just the perfect description of what my son has experienced?  The weariness, the need for others to support him in prayer, the emotional support from family and friends.  He knows he isn't the only one who passes when this exam is over.  He's had people supporting him under each arm, keeping his hands steady until the going down of the sun...which is a long time to keep your arms up!  All day!  Which is kind of how long the exam is!

Meanwhile, he was doing his own reading in 2 Kings.  This is the passage my son read yesterday.  

"When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city.  And the servant said, 'Alas, my master!  What shall we do?' He said, 'Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.'  Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.'  So the Lord opened they eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

What?!  How amazing is that....the young man only saw the horses and chariots of the enemy and felt afraid.  But Elisha knew of the spiritual element and asked God to open his eyes "that he may see.  And who needed to see this, but a YOUNG MAN.  The passage actually uses those words...not an old man, or a young girl, but a young man.  That was just what he needed to read yesterday.  So encouraging.  

We are excited to see what happens this weekend, though we won't know results for awhile.  We don't need to be afraid, "for those who are with us are more than those who are with them."

The Water Became Sweet

I am now the proud mother of 3 trampolines.  Yes, you read that correctly.  THREE.  My son and my husband went up looking to buy one and came home with two.  So, add those to the one we currently own, we're up to three now.  We knew they were selling 2, but we weren't expecting to buy them both.  When RM and my son got there they saw both were actually in pretty good condition and the owners were willing to give them to us for an amazing deal of $200 for the both of them, which was really good to begin with as they were asking $200 each originally.  Once they were home and set up, my son went at it and he's super thrilled as they are as bouncy as he hoped, which means bouncier than what we currently have.  He'll probably replace the springs and resell one of the trampolines and a new trampoline buying/selling business has begun!  The funniest part of the day yesterday was actually seeing my kids FIGHT over all the trampolines!  How is that even possible when there are so many to choose from!?????  But, alas, no one wants the "old" one anymore, even though it is an AMAZING trampoline on its own.  No.....they had to be on the NEW ones, which are in fact quite old.....so funny.....I kept threatening to cut the trampolines in half so they wouldn't argue over them.  

A couple weeks ago, my sister-in-law had a genius idea to have us come down to Toronto to their driveway and sell our produce before they move out in a few weeks.  It seemed like a good idea, but could we pull it off?  My biggest block was myself.  It makes no sense to anyone else who has creative abilities or resources at their finger tips, but for me, I couldn't even make a sign to email to her.  I can't really explain it except that some people have strengths in some areas and some have strengths in other areas.  I love meeting people, engaging customers, working in the garden, making the vine trees, etc., but DON'T MAKE ME DO ANY KIND OF ORGANIZATION OR PAPERWORK.  My husband saw me floundering and said, "I'll make the signs" and within 10 minutes had one emailed out to her.  I also was a little stressed because I hate handling money.  I can do mental math no problem, but when I have 5 customers in line, I can sometimes panic and suddenly I can't add 2 + 2.  But, knowing I just needed to calm down, it all went well.  I was also very stressed about my pricing.  I didn't want to gouge, but I wanted my costs covered and I wanted it to be worth my while.  Everything was organically grown and I knew I was selling good stuff - would people be willing to pay?  I did have to adjust a couple things with some feedback along the way, but it turns out we sold everything and made some money and it was definitely worth it.  Might even consider doing it for a few more weekends....

Last night and this morning have brought both ups and downs.  I went to bed after enjoying a hot shower, but a few minutes later my husband came in and said, "We've got problems...."  Turns out I was the last shower that might have broken the pump bringing all the water to our house!  So now we have to figure out what to do.  In the meantime, we'll be driving to the coffee shop to use the bathroom!

But then, in happy news, our silkie hen's eggs hatched this morning!  They are the cutest little things!  We saw her sitting on her eggs and hoped and hoped they would actually hatch into little chicks and they did!  So far we've seen just 4 out of the 13.  But she's making herself so big and fluffy sitting on them all that we have no idea how many may actually be under her.  Such an exciting day!  My son will sell them eventually we hope and that'll bring him a little income.  So fun....

Exodus 15 is my encouragement, "What shall we drink?"  The Israelites go through so many lows and highs and each time is rescued in a miraculous way, but still "They went three days into the wilderness and found no water."  Hmmmm....kind of like us.  No water.  Though we had miraculous sales on Saturday, though we have miraculous births this morning, and gifts of trampolines for free essentially....yet no water and we complain "What shall we drink?"  So Moses "cried to the Lord and He showed them.....and the water became sweet."  Then it seems the reason behind all the trials, "...and there He tested them, saying, 'If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in His eyes, and give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your Healer."  So, it appears we are being tested.  We must diligently listen, do what is right, give ear to His commandments, keep His statutes....seems easy enough.  Or not......We have a lot in common with those Israelites sadly.  We find ourselves in the cycle of ups and downs all the time, but I will say, I'm not as shocked anymore!  It's not that I'm half-expecting it, I'm just learning that reacting badly doesn't help.  We are always able, by God's grace, to find a solution.  We are never disabled too long.  And, like the Israelites, one day we'll  end up at Elim...."Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs of water and seventy palm trees, and they encamped there by the water."  That sounds a bit like heaven.  I'm not expecting twelve springs of water or seventy palm trees, though that would be nice!  I would be quite happy with the use of a toilet and shower for now, but I know that God knows we need all these things, so I will try to pass this test, along with all the kids who need to use a bathroom, and wait to see the Lord's provision and even "healing" of our pump.  "The water became sweet."  It seems the very thing that was bitter turned into something wonderful.  Isn't it like that with all our trials?  They seem so bitter at the time, but then in reflection they somehow become sweet because of the good that came out of them or all that was learned.....I know that will happen even in this situation.

Mother of the Year - Part 2

Well, turns out I don't get Mother of the Year award unless I go one step further.  That's right.  Letting my son go to the meet up just wasn't enough.  In order to get the award, I had to make one more investment, but this time it involved money.

Each one of our older children have been given a gift to support their interests and it's usually a fairly hefty investment, but each time we spend the money it's always been worth it.  Our oldest daughter was given a great camera.  She learned how to take great pictures and even had her own little business for a while.  Our son was given bees and bee equipment.  He learned how to take care of bees, make honey and candles and sold some for money.  Our next son was given all the materials he needed to build his own drone.  That taught him a lot about perseverance, trial and error, etc., as it definitely didn't work right away.  Our other daughter had her own little cake pop business for awhile and made some money on the side while we invested in all the materials needed to get her going.  I just assumed with this current child that it would be something along the lines of a computer....something SAFE and SMART.  But no.....this time....it's much worse than what I expected.  It's an, ugh, trampoline.

But we have a trampoline!  A really good one!  Why another one?  Because.....if you're a FLIPPER, then our's would be for "amateurs".  Now that he's a PROFESSIONAL, we have to get one that allows you to do all the big flips.  What have we done?  But here's the deal.....there were just too many plusses:

-it's my son's passion

-it keeps him active

-it gets him outside, with his brothers, all day long, all year (can be put in the barn in the winter)

-it's pretty cheap as it's on the farm, other than the trampoline, no special equipment needed!  No long drives to sports centers......

All in all, we're pretty excited for him.  We got a good deal on a second hand one and so it's actually not that expensive, though brand new it would have been.  He researched and searched it all out on his own and found this one by himself.  And to be fair, he doesn't have a job, per se, outside of the house, BUT, he basically runs the farm now that the older boys are gone most of the time.  He feeds all the animals, mows 47 acres all day every day, waters gardens, plants gardens, deals with all the garbage....he's never been paid a cent for all of that work, so this is our way of saying, "THANK YOU!  YOU'RE A GREAT KID!!!"  His birthday is around the corner, too, so might just be an early birthday present......The Bible talks about giving good things to your children.  This was one of those fun things to give.  

It's been fun watching him find out today that it is actually happening, but also really special to see the reactions of the other siblings.  Each one of the kids is so happy for him as they know how much he wanted this and how crazy he is about flipping.

This will be no small pickup - we have to drive over 5 hours, each way, to get this trampoline, but we'll turn it into an event.  It'll be fun.  And now, I will pick up my award.......