Jen's story continues....but first, I do want people to know that I get full permission to share her story. Even Roger knows I'm writing. The tie-in as usual to debt (i.e., the title of this blog?!) is not always financial as anyone who has read more than one post will have noticed. Debt is not always a monetary thing. You can be in debt to fear or bad decisions, and it leaves you in a place of bondage that makes you feel there is no way out , i.e., this is how my life will look for the rest of my future. At some point in time, both Jen and Roger thought that, but the beauty of Christ and the praying Church is that is not how their story ended. Read on.....
Roger admitted to himself, he liked Jen, or at least he was interested in her. He hadn't really talked with her much, but from what he saw and the brief interactions he'd had with her, there was a spark. But, just like that, it was gone. He suddenly decided, no, no interest. She's not for me. This is where it was either cold feet, fear, or a bad habit of thinking negatively, but just like that he gave up.
That was when he got quite the talking to from his sister-in-law. Roger did not like her input very much and left quite angry, but later, Roger wondered if anything she said was true - was he going to miss out? Perhaps he was fearful, not trusting God. He was afraid to hurt her and probably to get hurt himself. Then a thought occurred to him, he would never know if Jen wasn't meant to be for him without giving it a complete 100% effort, which he had never done in his life with any girl. I attribute this change of thought to prayer and prayer alone. Jen, too, had been fasting prior to this - she didn't know Roger when she first started the fast or perhaps all the reasons why she was fasting. She just was. She just knew something needed to change in her life. Perhaps without understanding the full scope of the purpose of her fasting, I believe it had an impact on Roger. The funny though, was one of the reasons he was willing to give 100% was to get his in-laws off his back. He knew it wouldn't work out, so this way he could say, "I gave it 100% and it still didn't work out - now leave me alone." But God had other plans for him.
Roger's brother and his wife would invite him and Jen over all the time and many Fridays were spent at their place as they slowly got to know one another. He was still being careful, but it was a whole new way of behaving for him, so patience was required! Jen was super frustrated and checked in with me quite often. I would take it to the girls and we would pray! We were regularly praying for this man who was really bugging all of us by this point!
Then the Christmas season. He and Jen went to a Christmas concert together and out to a restaurant afterwards. She was emotionally upset about something that night and was clearly sad. He found himself longing to comfort her and suddenly he realized he was feeling compassion towards her, something he hadn't felt before towards a woman. He was like the Grinch - that night his heart grew so big, it nearly burst out of his shirt! That was the turning point for him.
They started to talk, text, get together regularly on their own - no more help from brothers and sisters-in-law. He heard her story, she heard his. I wasn't sure all that was going on at this point and checked in with her. She assured me, with a big grin on her face, "Things are good!!!" We just kept praying and waiting to see how this would all unfold.
Well, it sure unfolded fast! This past Friday, when I was out at my sister's, I got a text from Jen saying, "Answer this text ASAP!!!!?????" I didn't get the text as I was out and had put my phone away! The next morning I read it and immediately texted her back telling her to wake up and tell me what was going on! She finally did and the words on the phone were "As of last night, Roger and I officially courting!"
I picked up the phone and called her immediately. She told me the whole story and I cried. I couldn't believe it. She said he had said, "I am intending this as a courtship that ends in marriage (or something like that! I don't know his exact words!)" As far as I was concerned, she was telling me they were getting married. It is a done deal in my mind and I couldn't believe God had done it, He'd answered our prayers. All the tears she had cried, never thinking it could happen to her. She met a godly man who is now going to love her and care for her, all the things she longs for. Only God could do that. We certainly weren't the only ones who prayed for her or for Roger. There's no way to know how it all came together in the spiritual world, but all I know is it did.
It turns out on the Friday night, once they had made it official that they were a couple, preparing for marriage, they wanted to go and tell everyone they knew what God had done. We had been gone that night and, much to my disappointment, I found out on the Saturday that they had all come by the farm on the Friday night with Jen, Roger, the brother and sister-in law....everyone who had been following the saga so closely! I wish I had been home!!! But, to make up for it, Roger and Jen came by on Monday to fill us in.
It was like seeing two entirely different people. First of all, besides the glowing on their faces, they were all giggly (some Jens more than others!). They were also clearly nuts about each other. Roger just kept saying things like, "Look at her! She's so beautiful!!!" or "I've always loved the name Jennifer." Oh my goodness. I've since heard his teenage nephews think it is all a little too much for them and find it borderline disgusting how lovey-dovey they are! My little girls sat on the couch beside them as they told their story with absolute wonder in their eyes. I think what was so amazing and touching was hearing the story from Roger's perspective - that poor man could barely get two sentences out and tears would come, over and over. He was so moved by God's goodness to him, that he was constantly overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn't help but cry along with him. "God is so good!" he would say, "I can't believe he's chosen to give me this blessing in my life now!" So beautiful.
A miracle was sitting on my couch that day - a true miracle. Anyone who knew Roger had pretty much given up - at 51, it seemed love was never going to enter into his life. None of us have known Jen very long, but I'm sure she felt it would never happen to her either. My little girls sat there, knowing they had been part of the miracle. They got to see that God does miracles in peoples' lives, right before their very eyes! How can we doubt God's goodness to us, how? He doesn't have to bless us with marriage, but He does! It is so exciting to live this Christian life, so full of gifts from above!
A verse came to me while they sat there that I shared with them. I had read this same verse in Isaiah the same week I got a call to go on the first date with my future husband, twenty years ago, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you." I, too, had been longing to be married and was in the Word praying about it when I came across that verse. It had been such an encouragement to me. That week Renaissance Man called me and the rest is history. God doesn't hold back blessings from us! He longs to be gracious to us! Yes, the Christian life can be hard, but if we look around us, don't we see His goodness in so many areas of our life? He longs to be gracious to us and He is gracious to us...all the time! I think some look at God as a big "meany", but that isn't the God I know. God was gracious to our sweet friend, Jennifer, and to this patient man, Roger. We all thank God for His kindness to them.
Now, my girls are a mess with excitement - ask her, Roger! Ask her! Make it official! We want to plan a wedding! Will it be on the farm or in a church?! Come on, we've got plans to make!!!! We love you both and can't wait for the big day, so get a move on it! :)
Thursday, 22 January 2015
Tuesday, 20 January 2015
Jen's Story
I have two great stories about two great girls this week, Jen and Heather. I've only known both young women for a very short time, but so much has happened in their lives I have to write about it. The reason both of them have become very special to me as well is because God has given me a very special privilege to be just a wee small part of all that has gone on.
First, Jen.....She arrived at our church, a single lady, and sat in a bench by herself last March. That is super unusual as we are a "large family/majority homeschooled" type of church - not too many singles except all the children! But there she sat. I should probably mention she had quite a few tatoos up and down her arms which were hard not to notice. Very pretty. Long, straight, high-lighted hair. She definitely stood out.
She was spoken to immediately after the service by another mom who was very friendly and almost right away I saw tears come out of her eyes. I didn't catch her full story, but I could tell she had one. She met with the pastor right away, too.
She kept coming to church. It wasn't until May that I actually was able to get her over to our house, by this point I had heard bits and pieces of her story, but I knew I needed to hear the whole thing and directly from her. I think she was shocked to be invited. Not sure, but she seemed excited to come. That Monday, she came over for dinner and I got the story.
She was a new believer. She had just left a different church that was kind of off-base doctrinally, and even as a new believer, she could tell something wasn't right. I can't remember how she even came to find our little church, but right away, she knew she should be there. She had been married before when she was much younger and an unbeliever, (she was now in her late 30s). She'd been married for only 6 years, and the whole time her husband, turns out, was a drug dealer, drug addict (and all sorts of other bad addictions) bad guy. She left him.
On her own again, her brother suggested she try a career as a personal support worker. This was a very positive change in her life and after the training was over she ended up working taking care of seniors in their homes. Jen was suffering during this whole time, however. She was very upset with the way her life had turned out, but she kept it to herself. One time, she found herself taking care of a sweet, older couple in their 80s. Right away she could tell there was something different about them - they were Christians. After many months of working for them and living in a constant state of sadness, the older lady noticed her being so sad and said to her, "You know you need the Lord, don't you?" Jen broke down. This senior couple in her life was the instrument God used to save her. So wonderful. For many years after that Jen would be in touch or they would call her to find out how she was doing right up until the older man died. His wife is still alive, I believe.
Jen found a church and was now very interested in marriage, but this time to a Christian. As so many do, she turned to internet dating as it is so hard to find a Christian spouse these days, it seems. She thought she had found a decent guy. but the long story short is - he wasn't. They never even lived a day together. She was required to get paper work to move to the States where he was located. He was supposedly there waiting for her. When she tried to be in contact with him, he basically told her, "I don't love you. The marriage is over." She was dumbfounded. She spent the next few months trying to be in touch with him to no avail. He didn't want to be married it turned out. Legally they weren't married in the eyes of the law as they hadn't shared a residence together. It was legally dissolved this past July.
Enter in our family back in May. As she sat there telling us her story, my younger girls were flitting about her. My six year old was immediately drawn to her and kept coming out to us with little drawings she had made for her. Then, as we walked around the farm, she would snuggle up by Jen, trying to walk beside her or hold her hand. It was a beautiful day, the animals were loud and active and Jen seemed to be just soaking it all in. She must have taken a dozen pictures with her phone that she kept sending to her mom of chickens or cats or cows. I don't remember all I said to her, but I know my primary purpose that day was to offer her hope and friendship and that she would know we wanted to be in her life in some way. We ate dinner and then she left shortly afterwards.
It was the next day or so that she sent a beautiful email saying how she had enjoyed her time so much and that she felt her heart had started to heal after that day. So sweet. The following Sunday, I went up to her, still hardly knowing her and I told her, "You need to fast." "I can't fast, I'm diabetic." "You can fast something!" I explained to her what I meant and why I thought she needed to do this. I was so excited for her and I explained how fasting can be used to break bonds of oppression in her life, be it confusion about relationships, direction in life, or just knowing God better. She immediately knew what she should do and let me know the next day - she was giving up Facebook. She started to replace that time with listening to sermons and reading her Bible. That's all she did in her spare time for awhile.
Shortly after that, I got an "emergency" email asking for my commitment to help her, to pray for her, to find a godly husband. Amen! That's what I am all about! I told her I would, not knowing how that could be possible as I really didn't know any single guys, and even got my girls on board praying, especially the six year old. She's a little prayer warrior and because she loved Jen so much it was easy for her. I wish I had a recording of the way she prayed - her prayers were so simple, so sweet, "Dear Lord, please find Jen a husband who is nice and who treats her nice, not like those other bad husbands." I was so touched. If Jen could have only heard her sweet little prayers, she would have known everything was going to be alright.
At some point I gave her a book we sell on courtship that is a fictional story about a young woman who longs to be married and an older Christian man who has waited for the right girl to come along and never found the right one. It goes through their whole courtship story and how they prayed without knowing the other person's prayers. It was a book that was very inspiring to my bffc, too, and has had a dramatic impact on myself as well, as I long for my children to experience a courtship without all the pain of dating. Jen was inspired to stop pining for a husband and to take all of her desires and thoughts of a husband to the Lord. She was learning the lesson of waiting and being content in the process.
Now, go back 5 years. I met Roger through friends in our church. He was the identical twin brother to a fellow we knew, but had never been married. He seemed like a nice enough guy. He pastored a church on the weekends and worked for a delivery company during the week. From what I understood he could have been married, but was just too picky, his sister-in-law and brother would say. I met a couple single girls that I thought were perfect for him and told him about them. He wouldn't hear of it. They weren't for him he said. I told him that I was committed to praying for him though despite the fact I felt he was a little too stubborn! I really did pray for him quite intensely for awhile there. I knew he wanted to be married. Somehow over the past 5 years, our paths would cross and sometimes I would tease him or lecture him, but he remained faithful to not settling for just any girl just because I, or anyone else, thought he should. It seemed he would be single for life.
Once in awhile he showed up at our church if he wasn't preaching at his own. He liked seeing his brother and his family and he knew everyone in our church quite well. Roger apparently noticed Jen right away. She didn't notice him! Until he talked....he answered a question in a discussion one Sunday evening about the passage we were studying - his love for God shone through and Jen had to turn around and see who had said it. Her eyes were opened to this man. She talked to me about him and my eyes got big. Roger. Could it be him? Could he be for her? I couldn't believe it. I ramped up the praying big time and called on the girls to start specifically praying for his name.
He was taking his sweet time in my opinion to speak to her, but he was fearful, I found out later, and not necessarily convinced she was right for him. He wrote it off as not meant to be until his brother and sister-in-law gave him a "Don't-mess-this-one-up type of talk" and strongly encouraged him to go for it! For the first time in Roger's life, he did - full speed ahead.
Tomorrow - the rest of the story.....
First, Jen.....She arrived at our church, a single lady, and sat in a bench by herself last March. That is super unusual as we are a "large family/majority homeschooled" type of church - not too many singles except all the children! But there she sat. I should probably mention she had quite a few tatoos up and down her arms which were hard not to notice. Very pretty. Long, straight, high-lighted hair. She definitely stood out.
She was spoken to immediately after the service by another mom who was very friendly and almost right away I saw tears come out of her eyes. I didn't catch her full story, but I could tell she had one. She met with the pastor right away, too.
She kept coming to church. It wasn't until May that I actually was able to get her over to our house, by this point I had heard bits and pieces of her story, but I knew I needed to hear the whole thing and directly from her. I think she was shocked to be invited. Not sure, but she seemed excited to come. That Monday, she came over for dinner and I got the story.
She was a new believer. She had just left a different church that was kind of off-base doctrinally, and even as a new believer, she could tell something wasn't right. I can't remember how she even came to find our little church, but right away, she knew she should be there. She had been married before when she was much younger and an unbeliever, (she was now in her late 30s). She'd been married for only 6 years, and the whole time her husband, turns out, was a drug dealer, drug addict (and all sorts of other bad addictions) bad guy. She left him.
On her own again, her brother suggested she try a career as a personal support worker. This was a very positive change in her life and after the training was over she ended up working taking care of seniors in their homes. Jen was suffering during this whole time, however. She was very upset with the way her life had turned out, but she kept it to herself. One time, she found herself taking care of a sweet, older couple in their 80s. Right away she could tell there was something different about them - they were Christians. After many months of working for them and living in a constant state of sadness, the older lady noticed her being so sad and said to her, "You know you need the Lord, don't you?" Jen broke down. This senior couple in her life was the instrument God used to save her. So wonderful. For many years after that Jen would be in touch or they would call her to find out how she was doing right up until the older man died. His wife is still alive, I believe.
Jen found a church and was now very interested in marriage, but this time to a Christian. As so many do, she turned to internet dating as it is so hard to find a Christian spouse these days, it seems. She thought she had found a decent guy. but the long story short is - he wasn't. They never even lived a day together. She was required to get paper work to move to the States where he was located. He was supposedly there waiting for her. When she tried to be in contact with him, he basically told her, "I don't love you. The marriage is over." She was dumbfounded. She spent the next few months trying to be in touch with him to no avail. He didn't want to be married it turned out. Legally they weren't married in the eyes of the law as they hadn't shared a residence together. It was legally dissolved this past July.
Enter in our family back in May. As she sat there telling us her story, my younger girls were flitting about her. My six year old was immediately drawn to her and kept coming out to us with little drawings she had made for her. Then, as we walked around the farm, she would snuggle up by Jen, trying to walk beside her or hold her hand. It was a beautiful day, the animals were loud and active and Jen seemed to be just soaking it all in. She must have taken a dozen pictures with her phone that she kept sending to her mom of chickens or cats or cows. I don't remember all I said to her, but I know my primary purpose that day was to offer her hope and friendship and that she would know we wanted to be in her life in some way. We ate dinner and then she left shortly afterwards.
It was the next day or so that she sent a beautiful email saying how she had enjoyed her time so much and that she felt her heart had started to heal after that day. So sweet. The following Sunday, I went up to her, still hardly knowing her and I told her, "You need to fast." "I can't fast, I'm diabetic." "You can fast something!" I explained to her what I meant and why I thought she needed to do this. I was so excited for her and I explained how fasting can be used to break bonds of oppression in her life, be it confusion about relationships, direction in life, or just knowing God better. She immediately knew what she should do and let me know the next day - she was giving up Facebook. She started to replace that time with listening to sermons and reading her Bible. That's all she did in her spare time for awhile.
Shortly after that, I got an "emergency" email asking for my commitment to help her, to pray for her, to find a godly husband. Amen! That's what I am all about! I told her I would, not knowing how that could be possible as I really didn't know any single guys, and even got my girls on board praying, especially the six year old. She's a little prayer warrior and because she loved Jen so much it was easy for her. I wish I had a recording of the way she prayed - her prayers were so simple, so sweet, "Dear Lord, please find Jen a husband who is nice and who treats her nice, not like those other bad husbands." I was so touched. If Jen could have only heard her sweet little prayers, she would have known everything was going to be alright.
At some point I gave her a book we sell on courtship that is a fictional story about a young woman who longs to be married and an older Christian man who has waited for the right girl to come along and never found the right one. It goes through their whole courtship story and how they prayed without knowing the other person's prayers. It was a book that was very inspiring to my bffc, too, and has had a dramatic impact on myself as well, as I long for my children to experience a courtship without all the pain of dating. Jen was inspired to stop pining for a husband and to take all of her desires and thoughts of a husband to the Lord. She was learning the lesson of waiting and being content in the process.
Now, go back 5 years. I met Roger through friends in our church. He was the identical twin brother to a fellow we knew, but had never been married. He seemed like a nice enough guy. He pastored a church on the weekends and worked for a delivery company during the week. From what I understood he could have been married, but was just too picky, his sister-in-law and brother would say. I met a couple single girls that I thought were perfect for him and told him about them. He wouldn't hear of it. They weren't for him he said. I told him that I was committed to praying for him though despite the fact I felt he was a little too stubborn! I really did pray for him quite intensely for awhile there. I knew he wanted to be married. Somehow over the past 5 years, our paths would cross and sometimes I would tease him or lecture him, but he remained faithful to not settling for just any girl just because I, or anyone else, thought he should. It seemed he would be single for life.
Once in awhile he showed up at our church if he wasn't preaching at his own. He liked seeing his brother and his family and he knew everyone in our church quite well. Roger apparently noticed Jen right away. She didn't notice him! Until he talked....he answered a question in a discussion one Sunday evening about the passage we were studying - his love for God shone through and Jen had to turn around and see who had said it. Her eyes were opened to this man. She talked to me about him and my eyes got big. Roger. Could it be him? Could he be for her? I couldn't believe it. I ramped up the praying big time and called on the girls to start specifically praying for his name.
He was taking his sweet time in my opinion to speak to her, but he was fearful, I found out later, and not necessarily convinced she was right for him. He wrote it off as not meant to be until his brother and sister-in-law gave him a "Don't-mess-this-one-up type of talk" and strongly encouraged him to go for it! For the first time in Roger's life, he did - full speed ahead.
Tomorrow - the rest of the story.....
Thursday, 15 January 2015
On Becoming a Morning Person, God's Provision and No Fear
How to become a morning person.....make sure your kids have really weird dreams in the middle of the night that make them yell out at a brother and make you go running into the room to see if they're ok....You are guaranteed to have trouble going back to sleep yourself and you will find yourself waiting for the alarm to go off!!!!! Next, make sure you have lots to drink right before bed. This will guarantee that you are so uncomfortable in the wee hours of the morning that you will be forced to wake up as you need to make a trip to the bathroom!
All of this works wonderfully if you want to become a morning person! I laugh as I actually read a post on how to become a morning person yesterday and they didn't write what I just wrote! The things I would write are in the above paragraph and happen to me on a regular basis. My kids have the strangest dreams that make them cry out (often in anger at their siblings!). I should just learn to not get out of bed, but sometimes they don't stop, so I have to go in to their rooms to tell them they are dreaming. It's kind of funny except that I do love sleeping at night. This tends to be super disruptive to my sleep and if it is right before I'm supposed to wake up then I lie there wishing I could fall asleep again, but I end up tossing and turning. The bathroom thing is true, too.
I do love being a morning person. I end up being a tired afternoon person, but will try to grab 15 min at some point and that's all I need to make it through the rest of the day. I really do go to bed much earlier than the average person I'm told, but lately, my older teens have become the classic chatty kids late at night. You can't get them to go to bed. I've tried. They won't stop talking. I've tried to get that to stop, too. My older son will actually tell me, "No, Mom! I love talking to you guys! I never get to do this! The little ones are always so loud and running around interrupting!" How do you say no that? So last night I was up until 11 pm which is waaaaay past what I like to do, but when these two like to talk, we are really trying to sit and listen and it is nice and there are way less interruptions! I know these days will not last forever, so I really do embrace them, but it impacts my mornings for sure!
We have been busy this week prepping for the trip to New York. We are trying to do as much as we can on the cheap, but we are still finding it super expensive. We don't regret the decision to go, just that it costs more than we bargained on. Travel insurance, oil changes, new wipers, gas! Plus, I wanted my kids to go without holes in their jeans. Guess what...all of their jeans have holes, or so it suddenly seemed, so off we went to the store last night. But I was grateful, so grateful for that store that sells great clothes second hand, "Plato's Closet". We found several pairs of jeans, a couple sweaters, two amazing pairs of shoes, a hoodie, a dress shirt and it all added up to $135, if I remember correctly. At a regular store, that might have bought two pairs of jeans - that's it, so yes, it wasn't free, but we felt it was good quality stuff we had bought. I had a 20% off coupon on top of that, so an even better savings.
Then I went to the second hand child's store (there are two - one for youth and one for kids) and the jeans were $1!!! I was excited. "Who else needs jeans??!!!!" I quickly picked up a few jeans, a winter jacket (one of our horses loves to play with zippers on coats - can't explain it - and he ruined the zipper on my son's coat so he could no longer zip it up! I also got some shirts for my son who only has stained ones it seems and that all added up to $37 - again, not free, but not bad for the amount of things I bought. I shop so rarely for clothes as we have been given so much from friends and family who have bigger or older boys. This was unusual to have to head out, but necessary. I forced my husband to pick a sweater or two as lately all he wears is "Camo". That is fine for the Duck Dynasty guy, but I really don't like camo on my husband. So he listened to me and now he'll be a little easier on the eyes!
I read about how Hudson Taylor's belongings got stolen by one of his Chinese helpers. It amounted to a significant sum of money. He prayed that God would convict the man to return it, but it never showed up. Instead, he got an unexpected letter in the mail that had been sent from Europe 6 weeks earlier for the exact amount that his stolen luggage was worth. This showed Taylor that not only did God provide for his needs, but he knew what they were even before his things were stolen! God had moved in his friend's heart to send the money at just the right time so it would arrive when he needed it - even allowing for the 6 weeks of travel time!
I know this is the case for us, too. My husband is a strong man. He is not afraid of anything. But, Satan can has found that he can make my husband fearful in one area, the fear of not being able to provide. My husband recognizes this and has determined to nip it in the bud. He will see all that we are spending, but knows that we must spend it to keep our vehicle running, to be safe, or to dress our children in clothes so that they are not homeless looking, or to buy the insurance that is necessary, etc., and instead of thinking, "Oh no, our bank account is dropping - we'll never be able to pay the people we owe, or where will the money come next, or what if, what if, what if........????" Now, he recognizes it is a lack of trust in God - He'll speak to himself and say, "God knows our needs. He'll provide what we need. I don't need to be afraid." This has always been the case in our twenty years of marriage - always. We've never truly gone without.
So, off they'll go to New York this weekend - with 11 chapters of Acts under their belts. They are going to have an amazing opportunity to interact with other youth that memorize God's Word and they'll have fun, too. I will be here with the younger 5. There will be lots to do - We have two ice surfaces to skate on, the pond and a rink my husband and boys made. Plus, my sister's husband is away, too, so I may meet up with her and her kids which will be fun. Even that is a provision by God - sister/cousin time! Maybe they'll even bring back a medal........
All of this works wonderfully if you want to become a morning person! I laugh as I actually read a post on how to become a morning person yesterday and they didn't write what I just wrote! The things I would write are in the above paragraph and happen to me on a regular basis. My kids have the strangest dreams that make them cry out (often in anger at their siblings!). I should just learn to not get out of bed, but sometimes they don't stop, so I have to go in to their rooms to tell them they are dreaming. It's kind of funny except that I do love sleeping at night. This tends to be super disruptive to my sleep and if it is right before I'm supposed to wake up then I lie there wishing I could fall asleep again, but I end up tossing and turning. The bathroom thing is true, too.
I do love being a morning person. I end up being a tired afternoon person, but will try to grab 15 min at some point and that's all I need to make it through the rest of the day. I really do go to bed much earlier than the average person I'm told, but lately, my older teens have become the classic chatty kids late at night. You can't get them to go to bed. I've tried. They won't stop talking. I've tried to get that to stop, too. My older son will actually tell me, "No, Mom! I love talking to you guys! I never get to do this! The little ones are always so loud and running around interrupting!" How do you say no that? So last night I was up until 11 pm which is waaaaay past what I like to do, but when these two like to talk, we are really trying to sit and listen and it is nice and there are way less interruptions! I know these days will not last forever, so I really do embrace them, but it impacts my mornings for sure!
We have been busy this week prepping for the trip to New York. We are trying to do as much as we can on the cheap, but we are still finding it super expensive. We don't regret the decision to go, just that it costs more than we bargained on. Travel insurance, oil changes, new wipers, gas! Plus, I wanted my kids to go without holes in their jeans. Guess what...all of their jeans have holes, or so it suddenly seemed, so off we went to the store last night. But I was grateful, so grateful for that store that sells great clothes second hand, "Plato's Closet". We found several pairs of jeans, a couple sweaters, two amazing pairs of shoes, a hoodie, a dress shirt and it all added up to $135, if I remember correctly. At a regular store, that might have bought two pairs of jeans - that's it, so yes, it wasn't free, but we felt it was good quality stuff we had bought. I had a 20% off coupon on top of that, so an even better savings.
Then I went to the second hand child's store (there are two - one for youth and one for kids) and the jeans were $1!!! I was excited. "Who else needs jeans??!!!!" I quickly picked up a few jeans, a winter jacket (one of our horses loves to play with zippers on coats - can't explain it - and he ruined the zipper on my son's coat so he could no longer zip it up! I also got some shirts for my son who only has stained ones it seems and that all added up to $37 - again, not free, but not bad for the amount of things I bought. I shop so rarely for clothes as we have been given so much from friends and family who have bigger or older boys. This was unusual to have to head out, but necessary. I forced my husband to pick a sweater or two as lately all he wears is "Camo". That is fine for the Duck Dynasty guy, but I really don't like camo on my husband. So he listened to me and now he'll be a little easier on the eyes!
I read about how Hudson Taylor's belongings got stolen by one of his Chinese helpers. It amounted to a significant sum of money. He prayed that God would convict the man to return it, but it never showed up. Instead, he got an unexpected letter in the mail that had been sent from Europe 6 weeks earlier for the exact amount that his stolen luggage was worth. This showed Taylor that not only did God provide for his needs, but he knew what they were even before his things were stolen! God had moved in his friend's heart to send the money at just the right time so it would arrive when he needed it - even allowing for the 6 weeks of travel time!
I know this is the case for us, too. My husband is a strong man. He is not afraid of anything. But, Satan can has found that he can make my husband fearful in one area, the fear of not being able to provide. My husband recognizes this and has determined to nip it in the bud. He will see all that we are spending, but knows that we must spend it to keep our vehicle running, to be safe, or to dress our children in clothes so that they are not homeless looking, or to buy the insurance that is necessary, etc., and instead of thinking, "Oh no, our bank account is dropping - we'll never be able to pay the people we owe, or where will the money come next, or what if, what if, what if........????" Now, he recognizes it is a lack of trust in God - He'll speak to himself and say, "God knows our needs. He'll provide what we need. I don't need to be afraid." This has always been the case in our twenty years of marriage - always. We've never truly gone without.
So, off they'll go to New York this weekend - with 11 chapters of Acts under their belts. They are going to have an amazing opportunity to interact with other youth that memorize God's Word and they'll have fun, too. I will be here with the younger 5. There will be lots to do - We have two ice surfaces to skate on, the pond and a rink my husband and boys made. Plus, my sister's husband is away, too, so I may meet up with her and her kids which will be fun. Even that is a provision by God - sister/cousin time! Maybe they'll even bring back a medal........
Tuesday, 13 January 2015
A Push to Pray - Non-Stop
This year I did our annual Christmas letter via email. There are definite benefits to that as I can include more colour photos of our family and my ridiculously long letter can go on and on without weighing in at a pound at Canada Post. I actually emailed a printer to see how much it would cost, just for 25 copies of my letter, double-sided, colour copies. It was $70 to print it off. I went with the email copy! This leaves me in a funny quandary. I always enjoy getting a hard copy of a photo and I enjoy sending them, so this year, I decided, crazy though it may seem, I'll do both - the email letter and the hard copy photo. It's not that I think that people want to see our family photo sooooo badly! I've been raised to stay in touch with people!
When my folks were first married, they went off to Africa, as I wrote before. That required financial supporters. When they returned, they joined staff with Campus Crusade for Christ. That required raising financial support as well. They had people all around the world supporting them. This, in turn, required them to be accountable to these supporters by showing them all that God was doing through their support, as well as giving updates on the family, etc. Thus, the prayer letter was born. It's a funny memory I have, sitting around the dining room table, all of us stuffing envelopes, writing addresses by hand (no computers!), sticking on rolls and rolls of envelopes. Once in a while my mom would have us write a little paragraph about ourselves. I kind of enjoyed it! There were always pictures photocopied into the letter, too.
Then, on our annual Staff Training trip out west, we would stop in and visit as many supporters as we knew. We did this for so many years in a row that I made friends with quite a few of the girls that lived in these homes and we became pen pals. I still write these girls now who all have families of their own. As we plan our trip to North Carolina, we'll be going to the state where I know quite a few friends. My husband braces himself as I've been trained to visit every friend I've ever made along the way! He doesn't get it, but like I said, I've been raised to stay in touch with people, at any cost! Even if it means going 600 km out of the way!
The other reason I started to write these other hard copy/snail mail letters was because in all the breaking down of lap tops over the last year or two, I've lost email contact info, but not the actual address book I've kept for years. That I still have. So I have found myself loving this process of actually writing letters which I used to do all the time when I was younger. As I went through my address book, I came across names of people I haven't been in touch with for a long time. I thought to myself, "Why not? I love getting mail. I'll write a quick note to them, too!" Then, as letter after letter got written I realized I remembered certain struggles some families had been going through and I started to pray for each family that I wrote to. Then, my letters started to turn into encouragement cards. I wanted these friends to know I was praying for them that even though I hadn't been in touch with them, it was as if God was reminding me to pray by literally going through my address book. Some friends I had prayed for twenty years ago - I realized I need to keep praying for these people!
Then, the other night, after all of these horrible attacks had happened in the world. We were talking as a family about them. My kids were very upset. We pointed out how yes, 12 people were killed in France, but what about the 2000+ in Nigeria! No one seems to care about them! We prayed for the international needs of the world that night. Then I reminded my husband about the prayer boxes Nancy Campbell had talked about where she suggested we make these boxes filled with names of family and then another box could be international needs, etc. We decided once and for all to do this that night. We'd always prayed for family and friends, but not so intentionally. For a lot of my married life I've divided the days of the week into specific things to pray for - Monday - family, Tuesday - friends, Wednesday - neighbours, Thursday - missionaries, Friday - international needs, Saturday - pastor/family, Sunday - church family. We've followed this somewhat inconsistently as I've never actually written all the international needs out, etc., but now, I think we are actually going to make boxes for each area and pray for a specific group of needs each night. This way, I'm going to actually pray for these friends out of the address book! I'm going to add them to the box so I make sure I really am praying for them and not just once a year at Christmas time.
I'm nearly finished the book on Hudson Taylor. Certainly, the thing all the missionary books have in common has to be the power of prayer. In most cases, God is literally all they have, which isn't to say He isn't enough, but they can certainly not rely on themselves or money or others. God always came through and moved mightily. We've seen that in our lives. I challenged the kids, as we started praying more intently this week yet again, to watch for what God does as we specifically pray for all these areas.
All this because of a letter writing campaign! I like to think letter writing is quite Biblical actually seeing as most of the New Testament is a whole series of letters! I took it as a reminder to pray, not just to keep friends in the loop or to see how the kids have grown up. I felt it was not just a nudge, but a huge push to pray - and to not stop.
When my folks were first married, they went off to Africa, as I wrote before. That required financial supporters. When they returned, they joined staff with Campus Crusade for Christ. That required raising financial support as well. They had people all around the world supporting them. This, in turn, required them to be accountable to these supporters by showing them all that God was doing through their support, as well as giving updates on the family, etc. Thus, the prayer letter was born. It's a funny memory I have, sitting around the dining room table, all of us stuffing envelopes, writing addresses by hand (no computers!), sticking on rolls and rolls of envelopes. Once in a while my mom would have us write a little paragraph about ourselves. I kind of enjoyed it! There were always pictures photocopied into the letter, too.
Then, on our annual Staff Training trip out west, we would stop in and visit as many supporters as we knew. We did this for so many years in a row that I made friends with quite a few of the girls that lived in these homes and we became pen pals. I still write these girls now who all have families of their own. As we plan our trip to North Carolina, we'll be going to the state where I know quite a few friends. My husband braces himself as I've been trained to visit every friend I've ever made along the way! He doesn't get it, but like I said, I've been raised to stay in touch with people, at any cost! Even if it means going 600 km out of the way!
The other reason I started to write these other hard copy/snail mail letters was because in all the breaking down of lap tops over the last year or two, I've lost email contact info, but not the actual address book I've kept for years. That I still have. So I have found myself loving this process of actually writing letters which I used to do all the time when I was younger. As I went through my address book, I came across names of people I haven't been in touch with for a long time. I thought to myself, "Why not? I love getting mail. I'll write a quick note to them, too!" Then, as letter after letter got written I realized I remembered certain struggles some families had been going through and I started to pray for each family that I wrote to. Then, my letters started to turn into encouragement cards. I wanted these friends to know I was praying for them that even though I hadn't been in touch with them, it was as if God was reminding me to pray by literally going through my address book. Some friends I had prayed for twenty years ago - I realized I need to keep praying for these people!
Then, the other night, after all of these horrible attacks had happened in the world. We were talking as a family about them. My kids were very upset. We pointed out how yes, 12 people were killed in France, but what about the 2000+ in Nigeria! No one seems to care about them! We prayed for the international needs of the world that night. Then I reminded my husband about the prayer boxes Nancy Campbell had talked about where she suggested we make these boxes filled with names of family and then another box could be international needs, etc. We decided once and for all to do this that night. We'd always prayed for family and friends, but not so intentionally. For a lot of my married life I've divided the days of the week into specific things to pray for - Monday - family, Tuesday - friends, Wednesday - neighbours, Thursday - missionaries, Friday - international needs, Saturday - pastor/family, Sunday - church family. We've followed this somewhat inconsistently as I've never actually written all the international needs out, etc., but now, I think we are actually going to make boxes for each area and pray for a specific group of needs each night. This way, I'm going to actually pray for these friends out of the address book! I'm going to add them to the box so I make sure I really am praying for them and not just once a year at Christmas time.
I'm nearly finished the book on Hudson Taylor. Certainly, the thing all the missionary books have in common has to be the power of prayer. In most cases, God is literally all they have, which isn't to say He isn't enough, but they can certainly not rely on themselves or money or others. God always came through and moved mightily. We've seen that in our lives. I challenged the kids, as we started praying more intently this week yet again, to watch for what God does as we specifically pray for all these areas.
All this because of a letter writing campaign! I like to think letter writing is quite Biblical actually seeing as most of the New Testament is a whole series of letters! I took it as a reminder to pray, not just to keep friends in the loop or to see how the kids have grown up. I felt it was not just a nudge, but a huge push to pray - and to not stop.
Monday, 12 January 2015
A Perfect Day
My husband's comments last night as we watched our four year old wrestle with the 15 year old made me laugh out loud. He thinks he will ultimately get a job being blasted out of a cannon at a circus. It was such a funny image! But, I could see it!
This past weekend was the second Bible Quiz meet of the year, falling, as I've written about, on my daughter's birthday. Well, it couldn't have gone better, in my opinion. First, the whole gang (the 5 older children enjoyed a bagel out with dad as they had to set up super early for worship leading. It was our turn to lead worship as our team was hosting. This in itself was so great. My daughter led on piano, my son did the percussion. Two of their friends played guitar and mandolin while two others did violin. All sang. It was awesome!
When the morning started, the host/mc got up and announced he knew it was someone's birthday in the room. Sure enough, all 75 kids sang to my daughter. I think that would have been totally embarrassing, but deep down, I bet she loved it.
At noon, she was supposed to be surprised by Stephanie, but Stephanie got sick with food poisoning, so couldn't make it! But she still went out, but with my husband - a close second! Meanwhile, the whole day, she was with her friends, actually getting a few jumps for her team in quizzing and all in all having a great day. She ended up with her sister at her friend's house until late at night and I think that was the perfect ending.
Meanwhile, her brothers were also enjoying a very serious Bible Quizzing day. They had prepared so diligently, I had prayed they would be rewarded for all their hard work. My younger son, 13, was a ball of nerves which may have cost him in precision. He did well, but he's still new at this, so didn't fare as well as his older brother. My older son, 15, is now a veteran quizzer, in his 3rd year and had what is called, literally, "A Perfect Day". It means he didn't make one mistake. Every time he jumped he was able to answer it or quote it perfectly. I wish I'd been there to see it. It is quite rare to have a perfect day (in life, too!). It only happens once or twice a year for all quizzers. He was sooooo excited as he knew he was going win the medal for best quizzer that day. His coach knew. My husband knew. My daughter knew. But somehow, the scorekeepers didn't know. And the medal for best quizzer goes to....."Katrina!" Uh, that's not my son's name. Everyone was so confused. They all knew she hadn't had a perfect day, so why was she winning it?
After she got her medal, my son's coach went up to the scorekeepers and said, "J had a perfect day. Shouldn't he have won it?" Oh dear. They quickly figured it out, and went back up on stage to say there had been a mistake! They didn't take the medal off the other girl (that would have been bad!), but made sure everyone knew J had won. Still, he came home, looking so defeated. I think he felt he didn't get truly acknowledged for all his hard work. My goodness - God is in the work of sanctifying my kids.
I immediately could see God was keeping this boy humbled. He wanted all the glory! Well, who wouldn't I suppose in this case. Here, he knew he'd put in the hours, the hard core studying of 11 chapters, perfected, memorized verbatim from Acts. Then, he actually wins! Out of all 75 kids, he's the winner! He must have been so proud! But, no, God didn't allow him to get the public acknowledgement he had hoped for. It's hard to understand why those things happen. In the meantime, he has to wait now until March for his medal. I think it will be made up to him then. It took away some of the excitement of winning by not getting acknowledged on the day, but God just wants him to wait, to work hard, in spite of the lack of reward before men.
On a more humourous note, I was back at base camp with the younger three. I love those days when I feel like a young mom of 3 under 6 again. Now, I eat up these 3 little ones, knowing they will not be little for long. It was the best day ever. They played blocks and cars and things like that for awhile. Then, I made them a fun "Quiz Day " breakfast - crepes with nutella and mango. We always eat that on someone's birthday. Too bad if the birthday girl wasn't there!
Then, shortly after, my youngest, went for an early nap as he'd been up since 5:30, so by 10 he was already in bed. This was when the fun started! The 4 year old went for a tub. He looooooves tubs and even moreso when he gets it all to himself. I always fill it super full and off he goes, "swimming". All the drywall around the tub is ruined thanks to his antics, but my bathroom floor is usually quite clean because of all the splashing! He called me in to show me how he could open his eyes under water. Suddenly, an idea dawned on me, "Do you want me to go get your goggles?" His eyes got so big with excitement! "SURE!!!!" So, I went down, found the goggles (thank goodness I knew where I'd put them) and gave them to him. I am NOT exaggerating, for the next two plus hours, he "swam" in the tub!!! So much so that I even drained some of the water out and had to refill it again because it got so cold! He missed lunch, snack, everything. Just swimming and then swimming some more. I couldn't believe how much fun he was having. The two year old finally woke up and then joined him in the "pool", much to his brother's frustration. Now I had to get more goggles. But this time, the two year just wore them on his eyes, no going under water, so that was even funnier. What a great bunch of pictures we got. I love main floor bathtubs!!!!!
The fun didn't stop there. After lunch (we had subs, another quiz day tradition, homemade - they love subs!), my 6 year old decided she wanted to be a pirate. She never says that, but oddly enough, we have pirate costumes that were given to us, so off they went, being pirates. Once again, a funny idea occurred to me, "Do you want me to get you a hook?" "SURE!!!!" So, I went into the drawer, and pulled out my bread maker/hook attachment and the next thing you know Captain Hook is in the house! My 4 year old son went around as Hook all. day. long. It was the funniest thing! To top it off, I let them watch Peter Pan and the day was complete. My son went to bed with his goggles on his head, his pirate costume on and a bread attachment hook on his hand. He had had a perfect quiz day, too.
I was so grateful. God gave me ideas all day long as to how to keep these little people busy. I don't remember any real conflict between those little people that day. I, too, had had a perfect quiz day and felt we all should have gotten medals!
This past weekend was the second Bible Quiz meet of the year, falling, as I've written about, on my daughter's birthday. Well, it couldn't have gone better, in my opinion. First, the whole gang (the 5 older children enjoyed a bagel out with dad as they had to set up super early for worship leading. It was our turn to lead worship as our team was hosting. This in itself was so great. My daughter led on piano, my son did the percussion. Two of their friends played guitar and mandolin while two others did violin. All sang. It was awesome!
When the morning started, the host/mc got up and announced he knew it was someone's birthday in the room. Sure enough, all 75 kids sang to my daughter. I think that would have been totally embarrassing, but deep down, I bet she loved it.
At noon, she was supposed to be surprised by Stephanie, but Stephanie got sick with food poisoning, so couldn't make it! But she still went out, but with my husband - a close second! Meanwhile, the whole day, she was with her friends, actually getting a few jumps for her team in quizzing and all in all having a great day. She ended up with her sister at her friend's house until late at night and I think that was the perfect ending.
Meanwhile, her brothers were also enjoying a very serious Bible Quizzing day. They had prepared so diligently, I had prayed they would be rewarded for all their hard work. My younger son, 13, was a ball of nerves which may have cost him in precision. He did well, but he's still new at this, so didn't fare as well as his older brother. My older son, 15, is now a veteran quizzer, in his 3rd year and had what is called, literally, "A Perfect Day". It means he didn't make one mistake. Every time he jumped he was able to answer it or quote it perfectly. I wish I'd been there to see it. It is quite rare to have a perfect day (in life, too!). It only happens once or twice a year for all quizzers. He was sooooo excited as he knew he was going win the medal for best quizzer that day. His coach knew. My husband knew. My daughter knew. But somehow, the scorekeepers didn't know. And the medal for best quizzer goes to....."Katrina!" Uh, that's not my son's name. Everyone was so confused. They all knew she hadn't had a perfect day, so why was she winning it?
After she got her medal, my son's coach went up to the scorekeepers and said, "J had a perfect day. Shouldn't he have won it?" Oh dear. They quickly figured it out, and went back up on stage to say there had been a mistake! They didn't take the medal off the other girl (that would have been bad!), but made sure everyone knew J had won. Still, he came home, looking so defeated. I think he felt he didn't get truly acknowledged for all his hard work. My goodness - God is in the work of sanctifying my kids.
I immediately could see God was keeping this boy humbled. He wanted all the glory! Well, who wouldn't I suppose in this case. Here, he knew he'd put in the hours, the hard core studying of 11 chapters, perfected, memorized verbatim from Acts. Then, he actually wins! Out of all 75 kids, he's the winner! He must have been so proud! But, no, God didn't allow him to get the public acknowledgement he had hoped for. It's hard to understand why those things happen. In the meantime, he has to wait now until March for his medal. I think it will be made up to him then. It took away some of the excitement of winning by not getting acknowledged on the day, but God just wants him to wait, to work hard, in spite of the lack of reward before men.
On a more humourous note, I was back at base camp with the younger three. I love those days when I feel like a young mom of 3 under 6 again. Now, I eat up these 3 little ones, knowing they will not be little for long. It was the best day ever. They played blocks and cars and things like that for awhile. Then, I made them a fun "Quiz Day " breakfast - crepes with nutella and mango. We always eat that on someone's birthday. Too bad if the birthday girl wasn't there!
Then, shortly after, my youngest, went for an early nap as he'd been up since 5:30, so by 10 he was already in bed. This was when the fun started! The 4 year old went for a tub. He looooooves tubs and even moreso when he gets it all to himself. I always fill it super full and off he goes, "swimming". All the drywall around the tub is ruined thanks to his antics, but my bathroom floor is usually quite clean because of all the splashing! He called me in to show me how he could open his eyes under water. Suddenly, an idea dawned on me, "Do you want me to go get your goggles?" His eyes got so big with excitement! "SURE!!!!" So, I went down, found the goggles (thank goodness I knew where I'd put them) and gave them to him. I am NOT exaggerating, for the next two plus hours, he "swam" in the tub!!! So much so that I even drained some of the water out and had to refill it again because it got so cold! He missed lunch, snack, everything. Just swimming and then swimming some more. I couldn't believe how much fun he was having. The two year old finally woke up and then joined him in the "pool", much to his brother's frustration. Now I had to get more goggles. But this time, the two year just wore them on his eyes, no going under water, so that was even funnier. What a great bunch of pictures we got. I love main floor bathtubs!!!!!
The fun didn't stop there. After lunch (we had subs, another quiz day tradition, homemade - they love subs!), my 6 year old decided she wanted to be a pirate. She never says that, but oddly enough, we have pirate costumes that were given to us, so off they went, being pirates. Once again, a funny idea occurred to me, "Do you want me to get you a hook?" "SURE!!!!" So, I went into the drawer, and pulled out my bread maker/hook attachment and the next thing you know Captain Hook is in the house! My 4 year old son went around as Hook all. day. long. It was the funniest thing! To top it off, I let them watch Peter Pan and the day was complete. My son went to bed with his goggles on his head, his pirate costume on and a bread attachment hook on his hand. He had had a perfect quiz day, too.
I was so grateful. God gave me ideas all day long as to how to keep these little people busy. I don't remember any real conflict between those little people that day. I, too, had had a perfect quiz day and felt we all should have gotten medals!
Friday, 9 January 2015
Cats, Birthdays and Future Spouses
Depending on the time of day, I love or hate cats. Today, I hate them. I don't usually stay up late, but I did last night talking with my husband and oldest daughter, but I had been up super early yesterday so I knew I would need to sleep in a bit today, perhaps all the way to 7 am! But no, the cat who was stolen, which has since returned (of his own accord, I might add.....a story in itself), decided to wake up my two year old and the 4 year old this morning by going on their beds, I think anyway....All I know is there was screaming at a very not nice time of the morning and a criminal-type cat sneaking out of the room. I was so out of it. I think I might have kicked a cat down the stairs as I saw it leaving the room. I wanted to throw it. I tried so hard to settle them both back down, but it was no use. One is now playing with Lego with me downstairs. I did manage to convince the other one to sleep with his sister. I feel rather awful and may need a coffee transfusion. When will I get a chance to lie down today???? I'm already planning my nap. Ah well, now that I have a few sips of coffee in me and I'm not as unconscious, I can actually be pleasant and happy around this fully awake boy!
Yesterday took a bit of a twist. I was so certain my daughter would be thrilled with this idea of accompanying her dad and brothers on their Bible Quiz trip, but shockingly (the idea slipped out by accident a little earlier than planned), I could tell by the reaction on her face, it wasn't where she had hoped to go. I kept praying. How do I deal with this???? She was no longer a little girl who used to be content to have Grammy come over or a cousin or a friend. Now it had to be something bigger. She had an idea in her mind that she wanted and I could tell that she was put out as it didn't look like she was going to get her way. I didn't like what I was seeing in her.
I give great lectures! I knew she didn't want or need a lecture, but at the same time, I knew if I didn't deal with this fast, she was going to be a monster. Bless my mom's heart, she raised us all to love birthdays. From the moment we woke up we felt special right until we fell asleep at night. My husband wasn't exactly raised that way. He remembers maybe one party? I think he got one when he turned 10. When we got married, I guess I hoped for a special day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I didn't even know I had expectations until they weren't fulfilled. Oops.
Then kids came along. Same thing. I wanted to recreate what I had experienced and make them feel special all day and to some extent I think I was successful except that it appears things may have back-fired a bit judging by my daughter's reactions. That's when it hit me yesterday. She's got to nip this in the bud now or she'll have birthday/marriage tension as she may marry someone who has never had a birthday his whole life!
We talked. I explained God knew from the beginning of time that her birthday was going to be the same day of the quiz meet. I told her that perhaps God was trying to take the selfishness out of her this year by allowing that to be the first act of her 17th year. She was holding on so tightly to her rights. I explained she had to let go now for the sake of the whole family, for the sake of a future spouse and for her own happiness! Nothing will truly satisfy except God. Not even the birthday weekend of the century will bring true happiness. When all is said and done, she'll still be discontent and will always long for more if she doesn't get a grip on her selfishness now!
We prayed. Her siblings prayed for her. It was sweet. But deep down, of course, I still wanted her to be happy and, of course, I still wanted her to be blessed. So I kept praying for her all day. Then I got a call out of the blue from Stephanie, my bffc (best friend forever cousin!) saying she wanted to do something for her on the day. That was perfect! So, on the day of the quiz meet, Stephanie is going to show up and take her out - another neat answer to prayer. Then, shortly after, my mom called. I explained the situation and she gave the perfect advice, confirming what I had been thinking...allowing my daughter to spend time with one of the girls from Bible Quizzing as we'd all be together the next morning as a family. That made my daughter super happy. So once again, in a very short period of time, all was resolved again. My daughter had gone through a life lesson in one day learning to let her birthday expectations be given to God, allowing Him to work out all details of her life. It may seem like a small thing, but anyone who is married and loves birthdays, knows this is no small thing. One day her husband will thank me....
Yesterday took a bit of a twist. I was so certain my daughter would be thrilled with this idea of accompanying her dad and brothers on their Bible Quiz trip, but shockingly (the idea slipped out by accident a little earlier than planned), I could tell by the reaction on her face, it wasn't where she had hoped to go. I kept praying. How do I deal with this???? She was no longer a little girl who used to be content to have Grammy come over or a cousin or a friend. Now it had to be something bigger. She had an idea in her mind that she wanted and I could tell that she was put out as it didn't look like she was going to get her way. I didn't like what I was seeing in her.
I give great lectures! I knew she didn't want or need a lecture, but at the same time, I knew if I didn't deal with this fast, she was going to be a monster. Bless my mom's heart, she raised us all to love birthdays. From the moment we woke up we felt special right until we fell asleep at night. My husband wasn't exactly raised that way. He remembers maybe one party? I think he got one when he turned 10. When we got married, I guess I hoped for a special day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I didn't even know I had expectations until they weren't fulfilled. Oops.
Then kids came along. Same thing. I wanted to recreate what I had experienced and make them feel special all day and to some extent I think I was successful except that it appears things may have back-fired a bit judging by my daughter's reactions. That's when it hit me yesterday. She's got to nip this in the bud now or she'll have birthday/marriage tension as she may marry someone who has never had a birthday his whole life!
We talked. I explained God knew from the beginning of time that her birthday was going to be the same day of the quiz meet. I told her that perhaps God was trying to take the selfishness out of her this year by allowing that to be the first act of her 17th year. She was holding on so tightly to her rights. I explained she had to let go now for the sake of the whole family, for the sake of a future spouse and for her own happiness! Nothing will truly satisfy except God. Not even the birthday weekend of the century will bring true happiness. When all is said and done, she'll still be discontent and will always long for more if she doesn't get a grip on her selfishness now!
We prayed. Her siblings prayed for her. It was sweet. But deep down, of course, I still wanted her to be happy and, of course, I still wanted her to be blessed. So I kept praying for her all day. Then I got a call out of the blue from Stephanie, my bffc (best friend forever cousin!) saying she wanted to do something for her on the day. That was perfect! So, on the day of the quiz meet, Stephanie is going to show up and take her out - another neat answer to prayer. Then, shortly after, my mom called. I explained the situation and she gave the perfect advice, confirming what I had been thinking...allowing my daughter to spend time with one of the girls from Bible Quizzing as we'd all be together the next morning as a family. That made my daughter super happy. So once again, in a very short period of time, all was resolved again. My daughter had gone through a life lesson in one day learning to let her birthday expectations be given to God, allowing Him to work out all details of her life. It may seem like a small thing, but anyone who is married and loves birthdays, knows this is no small thing. One day her husband will thank me....
Thursday, 8 January 2015
I Can Go to China
This was a funny thing to leave out yesterday when I wrote of what we were daring to ask God, but we also asked for boldness in our faith. I included gospel tracts at Christmas in each card I gave the neighbours as well as the baking. Usually I get some of the neighbours reciprocating in some way, either a card, or even baking themselves. This year.....nothing! Oh dear. We'll see what becomes of this as I eventually run into all of them at some point in the spring or summer. Praying again!
I forgot to do this along with the budget. I'm supposed to be keeping better track of all the meals I make so that I can figure out what each meal costs. I'll have to see if the kids can go back a whole week and remember all the meals....should be interesting.
This year, I'm also going to keep a written record of our days. So often, at the end of a week, someone will ask me, "So, how was your week?" I can often never remember?! I'll say, "I think it was good?" and I can't recall anything we did! One year I did this - I actually would write down each thing we did as the days went by, even if it was just going to the library or even staying home. At the end of the year when we sat together as a family and tried to remember what had happened that year, I pulled out the calendar and there it was....our whole year written down! It was fantastic to look back and see all the things we'd done, the places we'd gone, the people we'd had over. Many things we'd completely forgotten and it was a great way to brings things to our mind again. We could really thank God more specifically for His goodness to us in so many ways. I'm planning on doing that again this year.
I also have written down all our requests some years, on the calendar as well (well, it's a notebook/datebook-type calendar). Even yesterday, it was neat to see what we'd been praying for on the exact date last year as I was using the same book for this year. I'll be sure to do that again, too. Once again, to see what God has done and how He has specifically answered things we brought before Him.
The books I was reading this week were very interesting. One was on Gandhi! The other was on Hudson Taylor, both school books. Reading about Gandhi was fascinating. I had always wanted to learn more about this famous man. It's sad he was misled by Hinduism, but interesting to read that he made changes simply by praying and fasting. Never with violence. The fasting, to him, was a way to focus. That part rang true with me, even though, we weren't praying to the same God.
Hudson Taylor, the famous missionary to China, knew he needed to learn to rely on God before he went to China. He had to see if he had enough faith to go as he knew he would have nothing in China except God. So he put God and the power of prayer to the test. In one situation, he had no money except one coin left in his pocket yet someone poor asked for his financial help. At first he couldn't give it up, but finally the spiritual battle was so strong that he knew he had to give it to this family in desperate need. He gave. He figured it wasn't his anyway and that it was simply a loan to God. He asked God to return the loan as soon as possible as he had nothing to eat after the bowl of porridge he was eating. Sure enough, the next day, a package arrives, anonymously, with enough money for four days of wages. Taylor realized God had returned the "loan" with 4 times the interest! This happened on another occasion as well, where he was due his wages from his employer. The employer told him, "Tell me when I owe you money as I'm a busy man and I'll probably forget." The employer ended up forgetting, but Taylor refused to tell him. He, once again, turned to prayer, asking God to bring it to the employer's mind without him telling him. God did just that, in such an unusual way that Taylor could only assume it was God's answering his prayers again. At that point, Taylor decided, "Ok, prayer really does work. I can go to China now."
Haven't I seen those types of answers, too? Even moreso, I would have to say. Does that mean I have to go to China, too? No, not necessarily, but it certainly means I can definitely trust Him for our year, for all that concerns me. I have proven Him over and over.
I pray about everything, from big things to small things. One thing I've been praying about is my daughter's birthday. A small thing, but not really. To me, it's kinda big! I long to bless my kids. I know it doesn't have to be something financially big, but I want them to feel special, especially in light of no Christmas presents. We still give birthday gifts, but then it is something for one child, not 8 at once, so we feel we can handle it a bit easier. I kept wondering what it could be, how could I bless her? I prayed about it. Then, unique opportunities came up - simple things. First, she wanted to take her friend out for lunch who also was turning 17 yesterday (my daughter's is on the 10th). I gave her the van and off she went to surprise her friend with lunch. They ended up getting their nails done, too, and had a wonderful time together. We went to that same girl's house for a Bible Quiz practice/dinner and when the evening was over, I went up to the friend of my daughter's and I said, "Do you want "S" to stay a little longer? Go ask your dad if he can drive her home later?" She quickly did and suddenly my daughter decided I was the best mom on earth as she looooooves staying a little longer with friends when everyone else is going home. I told her I figured it was the beginning of her celebrating her birthday. Still hadn't cost me anything to bless her in a small way.
Then, this weekend, her birthday falls on a Saturday, the day of the quiz meet. She's not happy about that. I couldn't figure out a way to change that, so I just kept praying about what to do. Then, last night, at the quiz practice, another friend of mine and I were talking about the National Quiz Meet coming up in a week in New York. We had decided to let our boys go this year as they had worked so hard and I knew last year was such a great experience for my oldest boy. My daughter wasn't going to go as she hadn't memorized enough and didn't want to participate as a quizzer. We made a team of 3 boys, my boys and my friend's son. But then my friend said her daughter wanted to go as well, to be on the team, too. Suddenly it occurred to me - I'll let my daughter go, too, but just for fun! It won't cost us anymore to have one more person and then she'll get a little surprise getaway with her friend (and dad and brothers)! I'm not sure when I'll tell her, but perhaps on the morning of her birthday.
Then, last Sunday, we were asked by my parents to go out for lunch. We were already booked. I was so disappointed as we LOVE going to this one restaurant with my parents. It's going to be a special memory for my kids and a great way to spend time connecting with my parents. Once again, it suddenly occurred to me, "How about next Sunday? I won't tell "S" and we'll just show up as a surprise for her birthday??" It was a deal. So this Sunday, without her knowing, we'll be going to one of her favourite restaurants, with her grandparents, as a special surprise. It'll be so fun.
Were all these things answers to prayer? Yes. For sure. I had told the Lord, "I want to bless my daughter. I don't know how. Will you please give me an idea? Something she loves to do that isn't too expensive????" Going away to see a friend actually was something she wanted to do, but she wanted to go away somewhere else, where another friend lives. We kept telling her it wouldn't be possible. We couldn't make it work. It was too far, no adult supervision, too expensive on her own, etc. This way, she gets to be with a friend, over a period of a weekend, doing something fun, with adult supervision and gets to be around a ton of Christian youth doing Bible Quizzing! Amazing. Going out to eat was something she loves doing, but we don't do that anymore, we eat at home and have special meals here on birthdays, so now she gets to go out for her birthday, too, I share these answers to show how God cares for me, for my specific requests, for my daughter, for her specific concerns. I just love that. Now, I can go to China.
I forgot to do this along with the budget. I'm supposed to be keeping better track of all the meals I make so that I can figure out what each meal costs. I'll have to see if the kids can go back a whole week and remember all the meals....should be interesting.
This year, I'm also going to keep a written record of our days. So often, at the end of a week, someone will ask me, "So, how was your week?" I can often never remember?! I'll say, "I think it was good?" and I can't recall anything we did! One year I did this - I actually would write down each thing we did as the days went by, even if it was just going to the library or even staying home. At the end of the year when we sat together as a family and tried to remember what had happened that year, I pulled out the calendar and there it was....our whole year written down! It was fantastic to look back and see all the things we'd done, the places we'd gone, the people we'd had over. Many things we'd completely forgotten and it was a great way to brings things to our mind again. We could really thank God more specifically for His goodness to us in so many ways. I'm planning on doing that again this year.
I also have written down all our requests some years, on the calendar as well (well, it's a notebook/datebook-type calendar). Even yesterday, it was neat to see what we'd been praying for on the exact date last year as I was using the same book for this year. I'll be sure to do that again, too. Once again, to see what God has done and how He has specifically answered things we brought before Him.
The books I was reading this week were very interesting. One was on Gandhi! The other was on Hudson Taylor, both school books. Reading about Gandhi was fascinating. I had always wanted to learn more about this famous man. It's sad he was misled by Hinduism, but interesting to read that he made changes simply by praying and fasting. Never with violence. The fasting, to him, was a way to focus. That part rang true with me, even though, we weren't praying to the same God.
Hudson Taylor, the famous missionary to China, knew he needed to learn to rely on God before he went to China. He had to see if he had enough faith to go as he knew he would have nothing in China except God. So he put God and the power of prayer to the test. In one situation, he had no money except one coin left in his pocket yet someone poor asked for his financial help. At first he couldn't give it up, but finally the spiritual battle was so strong that he knew he had to give it to this family in desperate need. He gave. He figured it wasn't his anyway and that it was simply a loan to God. He asked God to return the loan as soon as possible as he had nothing to eat after the bowl of porridge he was eating. Sure enough, the next day, a package arrives, anonymously, with enough money for four days of wages. Taylor realized God had returned the "loan" with 4 times the interest! This happened on another occasion as well, where he was due his wages from his employer. The employer told him, "Tell me when I owe you money as I'm a busy man and I'll probably forget." The employer ended up forgetting, but Taylor refused to tell him. He, once again, turned to prayer, asking God to bring it to the employer's mind without him telling him. God did just that, in such an unusual way that Taylor could only assume it was God's answering his prayers again. At that point, Taylor decided, "Ok, prayer really does work. I can go to China now."
Haven't I seen those types of answers, too? Even moreso, I would have to say. Does that mean I have to go to China, too? No, not necessarily, but it certainly means I can definitely trust Him for our year, for all that concerns me. I have proven Him over and over.
I pray about everything, from big things to small things. One thing I've been praying about is my daughter's birthday. A small thing, but not really. To me, it's kinda big! I long to bless my kids. I know it doesn't have to be something financially big, but I want them to feel special, especially in light of no Christmas presents. We still give birthday gifts, but then it is something for one child, not 8 at once, so we feel we can handle it a bit easier. I kept wondering what it could be, how could I bless her? I prayed about it. Then, unique opportunities came up - simple things. First, she wanted to take her friend out for lunch who also was turning 17 yesterday (my daughter's is on the 10th). I gave her the van and off she went to surprise her friend with lunch. They ended up getting their nails done, too, and had a wonderful time together. We went to that same girl's house for a Bible Quiz practice/dinner and when the evening was over, I went up to the friend of my daughter's and I said, "Do you want "S" to stay a little longer? Go ask your dad if he can drive her home later?" She quickly did and suddenly my daughter decided I was the best mom on earth as she looooooves staying a little longer with friends when everyone else is going home. I told her I figured it was the beginning of her celebrating her birthday. Still hadn't cost me anything to bless her in a small way.
Then, this weekend, her birthday falls on a Saturday, the day of the quiz meet. She's not happy about that. I couldn't figure out a way to change that, so I just kept praying about what to do. Then, last night, at the quiz practice, another friend of mine and I were talking about the National Quiz Meet coming up in a week in New York. We had decided to let our boys go this year as they had worked so hard and I knew last year was such a great experience for my oldest boy. My daughter wasn't going to go as she hadn't memorized enough and didn't want to participate as a quizzer. We made a team of 3 boys, my boys and my friend's son. But then my friend said her daughter wanted to go as well, to be on the team, too. Suddenly it occurred to me - I'll let my daughter go, too, but just for fun! It won't cost us anymore to have one more person and then she'll get a little surprise getaway with her friend (and dad and brothers)! I'm not sure when I'll tell her, but perhaps on the morning of her birthday.
Then, last Sunday, we were asked by my parents to go out for lunch. We were already booked. I was so disappointed as we LOVE going to this one restaurant with my parents. It's going to be a special memory for my kids and a great way to spend time connecting with my parents. Once again, it suddenly occurred to me, "How about next Sunday? I won't tell "S" and we'll just show up as a surprise for her birthday??" It was a deal. So this Sunday, without her knowing, we'll be going to one of her favourite restaurants, with her grandparents, as a special surprise. It'll be so fun.
Were all these things answers to prayer? Yes. For sure. I had told the Lord, "I want to bless my daughter. I don't know how. Will you please give me an idea? Something she loves to do that isn't too expensive????" Going away to see a friend actually was something she wanted to do, but she wanted to go away somewhere else, where another friend lives. We kept telling her it wouldn't be possible. We couldn't make it work. It was too far, no adult supervision, too expensive on her own, etc. This way, she gets to be with a friend, over a period of a weekend, doing something fun, with adult supervision and gets to be around a ton of Christian youth doing Bible Quizzing! Amazing. Going out to eat was something she loves doing, but we don't do that anymore, we eat at home and have special meals here on birthdays, so now she gets to go out for her birthday, too, I share these answers to show how God cares for me, for my specific requests, for my daughter, for her specific concerns. I just love that. Now, I can go to China.
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