A Great Start - at least for day 1!

 I think that had to be the best first day of school....at least it seemed great to me!  When I was describing it to my husband later, I realized, I'm really only homeschooling 2 kids right now, the 8 and 10 year old.  The other kids operate very independently and I'm just this lady they talk to once in awhile when they have a problem.  I kept thinking to myself, "Why is this going so well?"  Oh!  It's because they aren't 3!  They can walk!  They can talk!  They know how to feed themselves!  They can read!  It's a marvel to me that I made it through those younger years.  They are BY FAR the hardest.  I just didn't know it.  Guess what I will be doing whenever I see a younger homeschooling mom.....I'm going to tell them how GREAT  they are and how AMAZING  it is that they are doing what they're doing and that they'll MAKE IT!!!  If I can, they can.

The other amazing thing that happened in just the last two weeks was I transformed my house into a "campus".  I have a primary/elementary wing, a junior high wing, a high school wing, a boarding school wing, a college/university wing and a music school.  Genius.  All without any money spent on school renovations.  I do this every year.  I stand in the middle of a room and I put my hands on my chin (my kids always get worried whenever I do this) and I pray and I pray.  I ask God to show me what to do, to help me figure things out, to help me figure out my "stuff" so that everything will have a place, so that I'll be happier, the kids will be happier, things will go smoother, etc.  After the pandemic hit I started making those crazy vine trees and had the beaver dam of vines in my house for literally months.  I thought I was going to sell them and I still might, but for a long time, even after the beaver dam was gone, I had these crazy trees all in a corner of a room looking like a little forest of vines.  It didn't look bad, but I knew I needed the space back for school.  What to do?

I also knew I needed books back in our family room area.  I had moved them all to my room upstairs because I didn't like the chaos the shelves had become, but the problem was, if you move the books, no one reads.  But have you ever tried to move shelves with books on them?  It makes my kids SO MAD AT ME!!!!  "MOM!  WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS AGAIN!!!!???"  Oh well, I make them move them anyway.  haha.  I also stood in my AWFUL mudroom area and put my hands on my chin and prayed and prayed there, too.  "Lord!  What do I do with all this clutter?"  I really needed a place for a school office/administration area and I didn't want it in the kitchen, the family room, or my bedroom.....what to do yet again?  Suddenly it came to me....get rid of the crates, or at least some of them.  So that's what I did.  I had my two of my sons move all their clothes up to their room, stuffing them under beds and taking crates for their clothes upstairs.  Now I had a place for a desk, which is just a long white board resting on crates, in the back of the mudroom.  I brought down all my teacher books, curriculum, resources, printers, etc....and I had a secret study for all my stuff, away from everything.  Then, it occurred to me, and this is the amazing part, my 14 year old could also use this as his private study center (i.e., my new highschool wing).  He LOVED the idea.  Yesterday when he used it for the first time I kept thinking, "Why is there no arguing, no fighting?"  Ohhhhhhh......my two firecracker boys aren't seeing each other!  The 10 year old and the 14 year are explosive almost every time they are in the same room.  All of last year, I was separating them.  Yesterday, one child was with me, one was in the high school wing and all was at rest.

The books made themselves downstairs as well and now all the kids are reading more.  My vine trees decided to not leave but instead I ended up using almost all of them in my decorating which, to me, looks AMAZING!  I love how they look!  Might be a bit of vine tree overkill, but I love it.  My 12 year old works in the junior high wing/library and she loved it, too.  It's cozy, Christmas twinkly lights everywhere, books all around her, her own table....lovely and near me so if she has a question I just am a quick walk away.  That was the only thing I did notice yesterday, I was walking all over the "campus" answering questions!  Oh well, getting my steps in, I guess.

We had debated ALL YEAR about sending my gr. 12 daughter to school.  She's my "cat" child.  Loves sleep and loves to, uh, sleep.  How would I get her up each day?  But God just kept showing me, over and over and over, no, keep her home.  But I didn't want to!  I wanted to send her!  I was willing to work in the mines to send her!  But, it didn't feel right.  So what then?  I researched all the curriculum she needed to make her feel like she was accomplishing all the right courses and we spent more than we normally have in years, but still waaaaay cheaper than private school.  This made her very happy.  She had curriculum she could feel and see and turn pages (no online courses).  She loved that.  She could look at each book and know how much to do each day.  To my utter shock, she woke up right away yesterday (only day 1, but off to a good start!) and like a little 6 year old, came down so many times telling me, "I just got smarter!"  So I think we made the right choice.  She seems to enjoy what we picked and went at it.  She's the boarding school child.  I send her "away" to the school upstairs where she has room and board.  The only difference is she keeps coming downstairs to tell me how smart she is.

My college wing has an indoor/outdoor location.  My son's college classes are all online.  He can study above the music room in his loft or if need be he can move to my husband's office in the shop, outside.  He's set up for both spaces if it is too loud or if he needs more space to work.  My university son will study in his room, but he did that all summer for the MCAT so he's quite happily set up there.  I can NOT believe all 8 will be home this Fall, including my husband.  It's absolutely nuts and full of people everywhere, but oddly because of the set up of the house, seems so spaceious and no one is running into anyone anymore.  It's almost as if the school doubled its capacity with just a few changes.

I also can't believe how much we all need a schedule.  I rewrite them every year.  I make them for every child, for every subject.  I print them out and display them.  It motivates each one to stay on track.  There are no questions as to what to do.  Chores were done in and outside and the house looked great when we started yesterday morning.  When the house is orderly it makes such  difference in how school goes.  Clean house, happy kids, happier mom.  So, a good start to the year.  Maybe day 2 will be rougher, but at least the first day went well.

Twenty Five Years....Celebrating the Back Story

 Today marks the end of summer unofficially as we attempt to start school.  Wow....it never ceases to amaze me how fast it goes.  We managed to end with a bang as we celebrated our 25th anniversary.  It was a dream come true for me and such an answer to prayer as I had wanted to do something all summer, but there was just no way we could do it.  Here's the back story....

For many anniversaries, we take the 40 days, or 6 weeks leading up to it, to pray, fast, give something up, in the name of seeking the Lord for our family, our marriage, our specific needs, requests, burdens.  This summer we had so many.  We were praying for two of our children taking the biggest exams of their lives.  We were praying for better patterns in everyone's lives.  We had taken a hit financially with covid impacting my husband's work, so we were praying for miracles in our making extra income.  We were praying for godly spouses for our kids.  The list goes on and on...and I was also praying for God to bless us in a way that only He could for our anniversary.  That sounds so selfish writing it down.  I knew I was acting somewhat entitled and so I surrendered it every single time it came into my mind.  

I wanted the 6 weeks to look a little different this time.  I didn't want it to be, dare I say, "typical".  I wanted it to be a challenge in the sense that it was going to really force me on my knees to pray in a way I never had before.  After meeting with a friend a couple of times this summer to swim and hang out, she described her most recent health changes they had made - the whole family had become vegan.  I cringed.  There is no way, I thought, but as I met with her the second time, I asked a million questions and got great answers.  I walked away knowing that was it.  I would attempt, in my most feeble way, to be vegan for 40 days. No meat, no dairy, just veggies, nuts, beans and fruit.  It was almost funny as I thought about it.  The funniest part of the whole thing is, I ended up loving it!  There were so many recipes for all the things I loved and missed.  I would literally type in butter chicken and then add the word "vegan" and suddenly a vegan recipe would come up for something that tasted almost exactly like it, but without meat.  So I did this for every single meal, every single snack, everything.  And, to top it off, I was the only one in the family being vegan.  My husband was doing his own fast, but still ate meat.  I cooked all the meat and just always had a separate meal on the side going on.  I've never made so many veggie burgers.  I would occasionally make the whole family eat vegan for a meal without telling them and they always liked it....every single time, so the food is very good.  I will 100% keep cooking with less meat, maybe not entirely, but it is way cheaper and super healthy and just as delicious.  

All that to say, with my new crazy lifestyle/fast, I was definitely praying all day every day.  I cannot even believe all the breakthroughs we saw happen.  The Lord answered so many prayers for our family from providing in so many creative ways such as through the garden, and selling things that never should have sold, to giving my husband super creative ways to make extra money on the side.  Because of the garden, I felt like I was never at the grocery store and because of the meat birds we had grown and the chickens that were laying, I never had to buy meat or eggs (I must say I can cook chicken 1000 different ways now...)  I learned to save money even more than usual.

As the end of August approached, I knew we had no extra money to go away.  Leaving the country was out of the question and I couldn't see us spending any on going away even locally, but I just kept praying.  I shared my concern with a friend of mine who understood and prayed with me.  She had heard of a place that was up north that normally had a kids summer camp.  They were renting out the cabins to families all summer instead of to kids.  She suggested that to us.  I said to her, "No, it's not an option right now for us." That was the end of that.  

Later on that summer, she and her family went up to that camp themselves and enjoyed a few days there.  While she was up there, she felt a tremendous prompting to call us and tell us that she and her husband wanted to bless us with a few days up there for just the two of us.  I couldn't believe it.  But as generous as it was, I immediately knew we could never go.  How could we go to a fun camp with all sorts of fun things to do WITHOUT our kids!!! I would have been kayaking, swimming and paddleboarding the whole time wishing they were there.  So we graciously thanked them for their kindness, but said no.

Then, a few nights later, I woke up and thought to myself, "Who do we think we are to say no to someone's kindness?  Maybe there is a way that some of us can go...."  Of course I hoped for the whole family to go, but the older kids had done a few things this summer, so maybe it would just be the younger ones?  I spoke to the older kids and asked if they'd be ok if just the younger ones went away with us.  They all said, "Of course!"  They even offered to help pay to get us there.  The days the camp was open for us to come was the first week of school, so the older ones couldn't really miss school anyway.  I shared with my friend that we were now reconsidering going, but maybe with just the younger ones.  But I told her how sad it was making me to leave behind the older kids.  She prayed that day a prayer that moved mountains.

THE NEXT MORNING, I got an email out of the blue from the camp.  I had told them we were not going and had left it at that.   I never told them why or all the things that made it impossible to come. In the email, the camp said they had an unexpected cancellation ON OUR ANNIVERSARY DAY.  Would we like to take that time slot.  I have no idea what compelled them to even suggest it.  This changed everything.  Now my older kids wouldn't miss school.  But could they all get the time off?  Impossible.  Each workplace was very rigid on not taking time off without a ton of warning.  Each one asked and to my utter amazement they ALL got it off.  They were all ok to contribute to the mini-getaway.  The camp even knocked a little bit more money off because of the size of our family....how amazing is that?!  We also got an additional night added on so it went from two to three nights....that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I really hoped for the 3rd night.

Suddenly, what seemed impossible was happening.  We were getting away to a cabin up north completely last minute.  We left right on the day of our anniversary which seemed to make it even more special.  We were going to a place that had so many activities I can't even begin to describe.  It was a camp after all for kids!  The best part - we had the run of the ENTIRE CAMP with literally no one there except for one other family and a few adults that stuck to themselves.  We took over 4 cabins.  The girls took one, the older boys took another and then RM and I shared one with the little boys.  We had one just for cooking......it was perfect.  We overlooked the most scenic lake and had a private dock....the only way I could explain it was that all of us had our hearts full all week.  We would look around and say, "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ALL HERE!!!" and say that over and over.  I couldn't believe how God brought it all together.  I never would have planned it or thought it or dreamed it.  It was just perfect.  The kids were busy all day fishing, swimming, kayaking, doing archery (that made me so happy that my older kids did the activities, too) or just hanging out.  It was a gift from God.  I ate meat all week and LOVED IT!  We bbq'd most meals and enjoyed that so much!  

After we got back, we shared with our friends how grateful we were to them and for their generosity.  God used them in our lives and helped create my most memorable vacation/anniversary yet.  I think because it was so obviously brought together by God made us appreciate it even more.  I felt each child was that much more enthusiastic about being there.  I didn't get the sense once that that weren't appreciating every single second of their time.  Would I have preferred a Caribbean getaway?  Not really....this was literally only 4 hours away, no plane ride, no passports, no stress.  I didn't have to worry about thousands of other guests....this was our personal getwaway.  The bonus?  We did get to interact with the other family and I got to share with the mom about our faith as she observed our family all week.  The camp wasn't Christian and so hopefully we were testimonies to them as well and to the staff.

So I'm in awe....God blessed us so much.  As I surrendered my dreams and desires for something, I didn't even know what to hope for, I would sometimes take my hopes back and feel pity for myself, but then I would surrender and relinquish them again.  God heard me and in His grace.....only His grace, He chose to bless us and it was just amazing.  I'm so grateful.    

Encouragement for a Young Man

This is the week we've all been waiting for.....exam week.  If my son passes, then I pass.  If my son passes, then we all pass.  We've been shushing everyone all summer.  All of us try to tiptoe through the house as he studies.  It's been a summer of ups and downs as he does well on a practice exam one week, then not as good the next.  He has a good study day, then a bad one.  He has written 11 practice exams this summer, ranging from 5 1/2-7 hours each time.  He has studied 40 hours a week.  He has been in contact with others who have written it before him.  He's been prayed for by so many.  We've been to the testing center.  We've walked the grounds.  We've booked a hotel for the night before so he has no reason to be late.  And now, this Saturday he writes.....he is as ready as he'll ever be and unbelievably (except that he's prayed for) he feels great!

But there's been an emotional toll and a spiritual one as time and time again the enemy has tried to get him where he is weakest, attacking any area of insecurity or fear.  Yet, we've fought back and have been in awe at all the encouragement he has received at just the right moment - a text, an email, a phone call, by people he least expected to hear from.  

Exodus 17 was what I read yesterday, "But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other one the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun."

Isn't that just the perfect description of what my son has experienced?  The weariness, the need for others to support him in prayer, the emotional support from family and friends.  He knows he isn't the only one who passes when this exam is over.  He's had people supporting him under each arm, keeping his hands steady until the going down of the sun...which is a long time to keep your arms up!  All day!  Which is kind of how long the exam is!

Meanwhile, he was doing his own reading in 2 Kings.  This is the passage my son read yesterday.  

"When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city.  And the servant said, 'Alas, my master!  What shall we do?' He said, 'Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.'  Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.'  So the Lord opened they eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

What?!  How amazing is that....the young man only saw the horses and chariots of the enemy and felt afraid.  But Elisha knew of the spiritual element and asked God to open his eyes "that he may see.  And who needed to see this, but a YOUNG MAN.  The passage actually uses those words...not an old man, or a young girl, but a young man.  That was just what he needed to read yesterday.  So encouraging.  

We are excited to see what happens this weekend, though we won't know results for awhile.  We don't need to be afraid, "for those who are with us are more than those who are with them."

The Water Became Sweet

I am now the proud mother of 3 trampolines.  Yes, you read that correctly.  THREE.  My son and my husband went up looking to buy one and came home with two.  So, add those to the one we currently own, we're up to three now.  We knew they were selling 2, but we weren't expecting to buy them both.  When RM and my son got there they saw both were actually in pretty good condition and the owners were willing to give them to us for an amazing deal of $200 for the both of them, which was really good to begin with as they were asking $200 each originally.  Once they were home and set up, my son went at it and he's super thrilled as they are as bouncy as he hoped, which means bouncier than what we currently have.  He'll probably replace the springs and resell one of the trampolines and a new trampoline buying/selling business has begun!  The funniest part of the day yesterday was actually seeing my kids FIGHT over all the trampolines!  How is that even possible when there are so many to choose from!?????  But, alas, no one wants the "old" one anymore, even though it is an AMAZING trampoline on its own.  No.....they had to be on the NEW ones, which are in fact quite old.....so funny.....I kept threatening to cut the trampolines in half so they wouldn't argue over them.  

A couple weeks ago, my sister-in-law had a genius idea to have us come down to Toronto to their driveway and sell our produce before they move out in a few weeks.  It seemed like a good idea, but could we pull it off?  My biggest block was myself.  It makes no sense to anyone else who has creative abilities or resources at their finger tips, but for me, I couldn't even make a sign to email to her.  I can't really explain it except that some people have strengths in some areas and some have strengths in other areas.  I love meeting people, engaging customers, working in the garden, making the vine trees, etc., but DON'T MAKE ME DO ANY KIND OF ORGANIZATION OR PAPERWORK.  My husband saw me floundering and said, "I'll make the signs" and within 10 minutes had one emailed out to her.  I also was a little stressed because I hate handling money.  I can do mental math no problem, but when I have 5 customers in line, I can sometimes panic and suddenly I can't add 2 + 2.  But, knowing I just needed to calm down, it all went well.  I was also very stressed about my pricing.  I didn't want to gouge, but I wanted my costs covered and I wanted it to be worth my while.  Everything was organically grown and I knew I was selling good stuff - would people be willing to pay?  I did have to adjust a couple things with some feedback along the way, but it turns out we sold everything and made some money and it was definitely worth it.  Might even consider doing it for a few more weekends....

Last night and this morning have brought both ups and downs.  I went to bed after enjoying a hot shower, but a few minutes later my husband came in and said, "We've got problems...."  Turns out I was the last shower that might have broken the pump bringing all the water to our house!  So now we have to figure out what to do.  In the meantime, we'll be driving to the coffee shop to use the bathroom!

But then, in happy news, our silkie hen's eggs hatched this morning!  They are the cutest little things!  We saw her sitting on her eggs and hoped and hoped they would actually hatch into little chicks and they did!  So far we've seen just 4 out of the 13.  But she's making herself so big and fluffy sitting on them all that we have no idea how many may actually be under her.  Such an exciting day!  My son will sell them eventually we hope and that'll bring him a little income.  So fun....

Exodus 15 is my encouragement, "What shall we drink?"  The Israelites go through so many lows and highs and each time is rescued in a miraculous way, but still "They went three days into the wilderness and found no water."  Hmmmm....kind of like us.  No water.  Though we had miraculous sales on Saturday, though we have miraculous births this morning, and gifts of trampolines for free essentially....yet no water and we complain "What shall we drink?"  So Moses "cried to the Lord and He showed them.....and the water became sweet."  Then it seems the reason behind all the trials, "...and there He tested them, saying, 'If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in His eyes, and give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your Healer."  So, it appears we are being tested.  We must diligently listen, do what is right, give ear to His commandments, keep His statutes....seems easy enough.  Or not......We have a lot in common with those Israelites sadly.  We find ourselves in the cycle of ups and downs all the time, but I will say, I'm not as shocked anymore!  It's not that I'm half-expecting it, I'm just learning that reacting badly doesn't help.  We are always able, by God's grace, to find a solution.  We are never disabled too long.  And, like the Israelites, one day we'll  end up at Elim...."Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs of water and seventy palm trees, and they encamped there by the water."  That sounds a bit like heaven.  I'm not expecting twelve springs of water or seventy palm trees, though that would be nice!  I would be quite happy with the use of a toilet and shower for now, but I know that God knows we need all these things, so I will try to pass this test, along with all the kids who need to use a bathroom, and wait to see the Lord's provision and even "healing" of our pump.  "The water became sweet."  It seems the very thing that was bitter turned into something wonderful.  Isn't it like that with all our trials?  They seem so bitter at the time, but then in reflection they somehow become sweet because of the good that came out of them or all that was learned.....I know that will happen even in this situation.

Mother of the Year - Part 2

Well, turns out I don't get Mother of the Year award unless I go one step further.  That's right.  Letting my son go to the meet up just wasn't enough.  In order to get the award, I had to make one more investment, but this time it involved money.

Each one of our older children have been given a gift to support their interests and it's usually a fairly hefty investment, but each time we spend the money it's always been worth it.  Our oldest daughter was given a great camera.  She learned how to take great pictures and even had her own little business for a while.  Our son was given bees and bee equipment.  He learned how to take care of bees, make honey and candles and sold some for money.  Our next son was given all the materials he needed to build his own drone.  That taught him a lot about perseverance, trial and error, etc., as it definitely didn't work right away.  Our other daughter had her own little cake pop business for awhile and made some money on the side while we invested in all the materials needed to get her going.  I just assumed with this current child that it would be something along the lines of a computer....something SAFE and SMART.  But no.....this time....it's much worse than what I expected.  It's an, ugh, trampoline.

But we have a trampoline!  A really good one!  Why another one?  Because.....if you're a FLIPPER, then our's would be for "amateurs".  Now that he's a PROFESSIONAL, we have to get one that allows you to do all the big flips.  What have we done?  But here's the deal.....there were just too many plusses:

-it's my son's passion

-it keeps him active

-it gets him outside, with his brothers, all day long, all year (can be put in the barn in the winter)

-it's pretty cheap as it's on the farm, other than the trampoline, no special equipment needed!  No long drives to sports centers......

All in all, we're pretty excited for him.  We got a good deal on a second hand one and so it's actually not that expensive, though brand new it would have been.  He researched and searched it all out on his own and found this one by himself.  And to be fair, he doesn't have a job, per se, outside of the house, BUT, he basically runs the farm now that the older boys are gone most of the time.  He feeds all the animals, mows 47 acres all day every day, waters gardens, plants gardens, deals with all the garbage....he's never been paid a cent for all of that work, so this is our way of saying, "THANK YOU!  YOU'RE A GREAT KID!!!"  His birthday is around the corner, too, so might just be an early birthday present......The Bible talks about giving good things to your children.  This was one of those fun things to give.  

It's been fun watching him find out today that it is actually happening, but also really special to see the reactions of the other siblings.  Each one of the kids is so happy for him as they know how much he wanted this and how crazy he is about flipping.

This will be no small pickup - we have to drive over 5 hours, each way, to get this trampoline, but we'll turn it into an event.  It'll be fun.  And now, I will pick up my award.......

I'm Learning to be a Boy Mom....finally

If I am not Mom of the year for 2020, I'll sue.  Yesterday had to be the day I got the most votes.  At least by my one son who is nearly 14.  I let him go to a "meetup" of flippers.  What is that, you ask?  Well,  it is a group of boys aged 11-15 who all LOVE flipping on trampolines.  And not just regular flipping, but serious flipping.  The 11 year old set a record for a "quint" - 5 rotations.  My own son set his own record for his first "trip back" (triple back flip for those less aware of alllllll the abbreviations - that I only learned yesterday......add rolling eyes here).  Here's the gang that showed up:

Let's put it this way.  I am not a boy mom.  I was so excited when I had my first girl.  I knew I would be ok.  I had her name picked out (no boy name).  I knew I would be great.  But then the boy came.  That was ok.  I knew one boy would be nice to have for my husband, but that was enough.  Then a second boy.  I wasn't happy.  I didn't know what to do with boys.  I had really grown up with all sisters and I was 5 years older than my brother, so didn't hang out with him very much.  But then another girl, whew!  But then another boy!  Oh no!  Oh, another girl.....then TWO MORE BOYS!!!  I ended up out numbered by all the boys 5-3.  This was not good.

But the first two boys that God gave me were amazing.  They were compliant, obedient, kind, respectful, SAFE.  Maybe this boy thing wasn't so hard after all.  I figured I was just an amazing mom.  But then.....my next 2 boys showed me, no, I wasn't an amazing mom, God had just eased me into the boy world slowly.  The next 2 showed me what boys are ACTUALLY like - loud, crazy, fighting, dangerous, sometimes rude and unkind....see, that's what I was afraid of!!!!  My one son hated the safety program I took him to one year because he wanted to learn about DANGER not safety!!!

Fortunately, the last boy is a little more like the first two, so I might just live, but these middle two boys are absolutely my greatest challenge in the sense that I don't know if they'll live another day most days.  So what's a mom to do?  Fight it?  Give in to her fears?  Keep them in a box?  Make them be like their brothers when they are nothing like their brothers?  Let them do dangerous things?  I don't know, so I just pray.

Well, this is a new world and my son reconnected with an old friend online who also just happened to love flipping.  This boy's mom and I have been friends for 20 years and have all the same concerns when it comes to our kids and our faith.  They homeschooled their kids as well and he is their only boy who just happens to love dangerous things.  He invited my son over to this meetup.  How I wanted to say no.  I kept hoping there would be a way to get out of it.  Maybe I would have no car.  Maybe I would have to drive everyone to work right at that time.  Maybe my husband would put his foot down and say no way.  But none of that happened.  I did have to drive someone to work, so I was going to take him there for a little bit, but not for the whole time as I did need to get the car back.  But just before we left my daughter decided to not go into work making her car available.  This meant if we decided to let him stay the whole time then I could get him later.  When we arrived at the meetup, we found out the boys that were coming were coming from all over Ontario - 10 of them.  They had been specifically invited because they had made records of some kind.  I knew my son would just die if I took him home before connecting with these guys and I also knew he would die if I let him stay....of excitement.  I quickly texted my husband and to my shock, he said, "Let him stay."

My friend and I prayed together for the boys, for their safety, for wisdom and discernment, that our two kids would be lights in the group of boys....and then I left with complete peace that my son would be ok.  It was perfect...when I got in the truck a comedy show was on, so I laughed the whole way home.  A God-timed moment for sure.

Watch this terrifying video to understand my pain......

When my son came home he was sunburnt and beaming from ear to ear, "This was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE MOM!"  He went on and on and on about how much fun it was, how great the boys were, how amazing the day was, the incredible number of tricks they all did......he was so happy.  I was so glad that it had all worked out for him.  What if I had kept him home?  What if I had made him do hay (that's what all the other kids were doing?)  What if I had allowed my fears to control me? Maybe once in a while living on the edge and allowing boys to do those dangerous things actually contributes to who they are in a way?  He told me himself that he didn't want to do the triple backflip.  The boys said to him, "You got this...."  Not in a stupid dare kind of way, but in a "we believe in you" kind of way.  That made him realize he was simply afraid, but he knew he had it in him.  When he did it, someone filmed him and everyone else shouted and encouraged him.  He said he felt so good inside when he accomplished this thing that he had really wanted to, but didn't think he could.  Maybe he'll remember that feeling when he gets older when he comes up against something hard and he'll tell his kids one day about the time he did the "trip back".

So that's why I should be mom of the year - I learned that maybe just maybe boys need to do things that appear really scary to a mom once in a while....not every day, please and thank you, but once in a while.  And I felt really good that I actually let him go even though inside I was freaking out.  To hear and see all that he would have missed out on would have been hard for him and me.  I hope these meetups don't happen weekly.  So far it's an annual thing.  My son is already wanting to host one......NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  If I do that, I will be MOM OF THE DECADE, no, MOM OF THE CENTURY!!

Broken Spirits and Harsh Slavery - God can handle it

Yesterday was a challenging day on the farm...Well, let me reword that....every day seems to bring a farm challenge!  We are realizing more and more that taking dominion over the land is a full-time job.  It fights us every step of the way.  We plant a seed, 7000 weeds come up with it.  We plant a vine, it wants to grow down into the ground, not up.  We plan to work in the garden, it rains.  We plant to weed in the garden, we find bugs.  It just isn't easy.  So why we were surprised yesterday seems odd.  Maybe it was because it just seemed extra hard.

My husband went to the vines to see how much work it would be to "cluster-thin" the grapes.  Instead he found that some of the grapes looked like they were rotting.   Not all of them, but some of them.  That is NOT good.  That means we have to buy more spray, if it isn't too late.  That meant unexpected expense.  He got the spray and went to go put it on, but the sprayer stopped working.....He was pulling his hair out.

But alas, we prayed.  We know this is the process.  We know somehow RM can always seem to fix the broken machines and he did, thank the Lord, but there are always those moments when you feel so discouraged.

Moses knew this.  I read yesterday Exodus 6.  The Israelites had just heard that they were supposed to make the same amount of bricks without straw.  Thanks Moses, is how they felt.  It was his fault, they thought.  It was because he had asked Pharoah to let them go.  Pharoah assumed it was because they were bored and needed more work.  Moses tried to tell the people, it'll be ok!  God has a plan!  I'm going to talk to Pharaoh again and ask him to let us go!  This is the verse that I could relate to:

"Moses spoke thus to the people of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, because of their broken spirit and harsh slavery."

Broken spirit.  Harsh slavery.  That about sums it up.  Sometimes our spirits are broken.  We know the promises of God, but because we don't always see how He is working, we get discouraged in our humanity.  We take our eyes off God and see only our problems.  Suddenly, we feel more like we are under harsh slavery and thus, the broken spirits.....which, in essence, is really another word for "self-pity".

But, thankfully, God doesn't keep us there.  Moses goes to God and says, "Behold, the people of Israel have not listened to me.  How then shall Pharoah listen to me, for I am of uncircumcised lips?"  He gets all whiny and pathetic.  He had seen so many signs before, multiple miracles....what a guy.  Yet he says to God, "They'll never believe me....."  God has a great answer, which is amazing in itself that God bothers to respond....

"But..."  (which, to me, says - I'm going to remind you that I am going to say the opposite of what you just said"......"But, the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron and GAVE THEM A CHARGE about the people of Israel and about Pharoah king of Egypt:  to bring the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt."

So that's it - no broken spirits allowed.  Don't worry about the harsh slavery.  God is giving a charge - and quite simply that means, I'm God and this is going to happen, no matter what it appears like and no matter what you feel.  I said I would bring them out of Egypt and its going to happen, so....stop flapping your lips and do what I say.  Believe my promises.

I actually found that quite encouraging.....it's not that we aren't allowed to have a broken spirit.  But in that brokenness, we have to decide to trust God.  My daughter reminded me yesterday, "Fear says, 'what if?'.  Faith says, 'even if" " So, if I have faith, then I can remember that God has given me a charge.  I remember the many signs, miracles, and promises He has given me,   He said He would bring the people out of the land of Egypt, so I have to believe He'll do that for me, too.  But.....EVEN IF it doesn't go as planned and EVEN IF He doesn't resolve all my issues in one day and EVEN IF the harsh slavery lasts longer than planned (400 years?), and EVEN IF my spirit feels broken sometimes...I will listen to the charge He has spoken to me, to trust Him.