College-at-Home, End of January, and Buying a Home Debt-Free

A new week - hopefully less busy than last, though I enjoyed every minute.  The panel we were on went extremely well, the house was packed, full of young moms and a couple dads who all had very young children, wanting to make the best decision for their child's education and future.  I knew it would be hard for me to not monopolize the conversation.  I had to seriously work at it.  I smiled at some of the questions.  We let two of the older children sit in on the event.  One of the dads asked the kids a couple questions, "So, who are your friends?"  In other words, "Do you have any?  Or do you just sit at home all day and not meet anyone?"  This dad, we found out, told his wife the reason he doesn't want to homeschool his kids is because he doesn't want them to turn out weird.  I may have weird kids, but I think it's in a good way, personally.  In fact, I joke with my husband that we actually want them to turn out weird!  Not conforming to all those around them, so yes, my kids might turn out weird, but that's fine with me. 

All in all, each question got answered and I think each parent there breathed a sigh of relief to meet people they could see in real life who didnt have horns growing out of their heads.... One mom bounded over to me and said, "I need to spend a lot of time with you.  My husband needs to come, too.  Can we please come over to your house?"  Of course.  So, I'm expecting a few visits this spring. But, again, I love that.

On Saturday, we went to a friend's 50th birthday party (we're getting up there, too!).  It was a 60s theme, as she was born in the 60s!  What a hoot - I borrowed a couple outfits from a friend and went in a vintage style dress with vintage hair and makeup.  My husband looked hilarious.  He had peace-patch pants, tie-die shirt and a bandana wrapped around his head - very hippie looking.  He even dyed his soul-patch beard with my mascara so he looked even younger.  I laughed out loud every time I saw him.

My 6 year old is quite tired of me leaving so much, so I think it'll be a quieter week at home, I hope.

Today is a very significant day for us, not just because it is Groundhog Day (ha!), but because today our daughter starts college!  Sounds crazy, but it's true!  We heard about CollegePlus (a distance learning degree program) before and looked into it a bit, but in November a friend of ours actually came down and gave a presentation on it as she is enrolled in the program herself.  It started to really intrigue us.  Our daughter had already decided to pursue piano and get the highest credentials she could.  She'd already been teaching, but we were noticing it wasn't taking as much time in her week as we thought.  She actually had a fair amount of spare time.

This degree program is offered with a Christian worldview.  It also allows her to get a Bachelor of Arts in music.  The more we looked into it, the more it appealed to us.  She is a very bright girl and longs to understand more about the faiths around her.  She wants to share her faith with others.  She was starting to feel she could take on more.  So, we took the leap and enrolled.  Her first exam is Wednesday and it's on critical thinking - CollegePlus is just that - college "plus" - she'll come out of this program with way more than just a degree in music.  She'll have her faith grounded in knowledge.  They make sure of it.

She also will be acquiring a coach in her life.  This is a young lady who knows the ins and outs of CollegePlus.  She'll call our daughter twice a month and mentor her through her courses.  This month her plan will be to create a degree plan with her.  They'll map out the classes that will best suit her, etc.  

By staying home, she can save a ton of money.  She'll still be able to have her students come to our house for lessons.  She'll be able to avoid some of the pitfalls of university, yet still get a recognized degree.  She'll still meet a lot of people as once in a while all the CollegePlus students connect, so that'll be fun.  The program also offers a whole bunch of interesting electives on being an entrepreneur as well, so that'll fit her piano teaching/photography business that she is pursuing already.  She'll be able to go as fast as she wants and if she goes through the summer, she could be done anywhere from 2-3 years.  She's starting very young as they allow younger students.  They figure they wouldn't be applying if they couldn't keep up, I guess!  So she'll be done by the time she's 20.  Her faith will be strengthened as a result of taking the courses on worldview....the list goes on and on.  She's got the time to do this now.  We're excited for her!

One of the things we like best about her choices is that she can still be a wife and mom.  Even if she were to marry in this process, she'll still be able to be at home with her kids, have students come to her, help supplement her husband's income if required, minister to the homeschool community by even offering lessons to them, etc.  That was definitely one of our concerns.  We wanted to give her an education for sure, but we didn't want her to become so career-oriented that she wouldn't be able to be home one day.  We long for her to love being a wife and mom and she wants that, too.  My mom was home with us which I think really gave me an appetite for that as well.  I went to university and even became a teacher, but the whole time, I just kept thinking about getting married and being a mom.  The day I found out I was pregnant with my first child was awesome - it was my ticket out of the classroom!  I couldn't wait to get home and be a mom.

We already have her piano studio set up.  Now we just have to move a desk and computer in there as most of it will be on-line.  Her brothers are being very gracious as the loft room above the piano was going to be their's for sleeping once RM got a rail and a staircase to it, but it looks like she'll be taking it over as her new "dorm".  She can't wait!  Financially, this is going to be a stretch, but we're trusting the Lord brought us here and that He will be faithful to help us pay for it all.

Yesterday also marked the beginning of a new month, but the end of January.  I diligently entered all the grocery bills all month and so now we'll do the assessment of where we saved and spent.  My grocery budget wasn't that high this month as I hardly had to buy any meat.  I suppose I should have included the amount of money spent on slaughtering, so perhaps in the end I didn't save as much as it appears, but at least we ate better meat!  I like the illusion of saving money just as much!

We continue to read the Maxwell's book "Buying a House Debt-free",  It's so inspiring to read the stories of just regular guys who got inspired to do this and then how God blessed their efforts by providing amazing opportunities.  The key we noticed was how prayerful they were.  Each of the Maxwell boys who did this (so far, the older 3 boys have bought homes debt-free, with cash!  The younger 2 are well on their way at only 19 and 23) were always praying along with the parents.  We had each child, including the 4 year old, pray, asking the Lord to show them how they could do this, how they could make an income that would provide for their families one day.  They were all very excited.  I live in constant anticipation to see how this will work out in their lives someday.

Now, a snowstorm is upon us...our vehicles are deeply covered with high drifts.  I'd send the kids out, but they might not find their way back home!  I'm sure the school buses must be cancelled as I haven't seen one go by yet....oh well, for our poor kids, school is on!

Facing Opposition as We Rebuild the Walls

My friend who just had her 8th child, her 4th boy, was given a great honour by some of us - she joined the "Mom of 4 or More Boys Club", created by some other friends of mine who have 4 or more boys as well.  This honour meant she got a special gift for only moms of 4 or more boys.  It included a box of bandaids, $5 meant for emergency room parking, a penny for their thoughts (as they won't tell her much what they are always thinking), etc., etc.....I thought this was a very clever idea.  Now that I have 5 boys myself, I get it - especially the $5 emergency room parking cause that's where I spent a lot of time on Wednesday!  And you guessed it, with the 4 year old....

The unique and funny thing was that it wasn't because he was up to his usual antics at all!  He was in fact just sitting.  No one was in the room - it went from perfectly quiet to screaming in a matter of seconds.  One of the other kids ran in first as I usually don't run - I always wait to see if it is a "true" cry and most of the time, it's not real, or I wait for, "Mom! There's blood!"  This time, I heard cry #1 and thought, "Hmmm... that sounded bad," then silence, as he caught his breath for wail #2. When I heard that cry, I ran.  I was just around the corner and was there in a matter of seconds to find him on the floor, in a snake suit, holding his head, screaming.  He took off his hand as he felt his own blood and that's when I realized, "How in the world????  He's hurt bad."

I took him to the sink, got a cloth, and calmly demonstrated to the other children how to get a wound to stop bleeding!  It was quite helpful, I think, to show them how to do this for their own first aid one day!  It stopped fairly quickly.  I took a look and saw what looked like a hole.  He had punctured his head on what?  He was calming down, so we asked him to explain what had happened.  He had been just sitting on the chair near a stool, then somehow his foot got caught under the rug and it made him lose his balance (I'm totally guessing as it makes no sense....) causing him to come down hard on a soft cushion!  I'm serious, he hurt his head on a soft cushion - well, ok, not entirely, but under the soft cushion, is a corner on the stool and sure enough, he found the only part that could hurt him and wham - punctured his little head.

Shortly after, Daddy came in - we assessed and decided it would probably need a stitch or two.  So off we went, in his snake suit, to the emergency room.  Within 3 hours he was all taken care of - no stitch, just a butterfly bandage squeezing the skin together to cover up the hole that would have been there.

What was interesting during this whole experience, especially upon reflection, was the timing of this whole event.  It took place on the night when we would be giving a talk on creating a vision for your family.  This is quite typical we found out, once we became members of the board.  Apparently each monthly meeting, the board members would recount their days and they would realize the spiritual attacks had intensified on the night when they would be hosting a meeting - we soon found this, too. The dog attacks on our property had been on the night of our homeschool meeting, too.  The only way to really account for this, other than coincidence, is to realize Satan hates what we are about and anything he could do to mess that up he'll try.  It didn't totally work though as I know people were praying that day.  I was able to remain calm which is shocking - normally I wouldn't be able to handle blood and mess that well.  We were able to get care fairly quickly.  We still managed to get the talk finished, though it wasn't perhaps as polished as it could have been.  All in all it was a great night.

After many many weeks of talking and praying about what we wanted to say, my husband and I finally decided we would focus on Nehemiah.  That book gives an incredible example of a man who had a vision for rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem and despite opposition, went ahead and achieved the goal.  This was what my husband tried to communicate as well to the parents that came that night. I may leave out a point here or there, but this, in essence, was what he said..

First, Nehemiah had a burden.  The walls of Jerusalem were broken down.  His first action was to fast and pray.  Then he repented, on behalf of the nation of Israel.  His tremendous sadness was noticed by the king and he was asked about it.  Nehemiah told him what was concerning him.  He asked if he could leave his important job to finish the rebuilding of the walls.  Amazingly, the king let him go with the resources he would need and all the time he would need.  Off Nehemiah went.  He first assessed the situation by going around the whole city and seeing how bad it was.  Then he made a plan and had each family rebuild a part of the wall. Opposition began almost immediately, but this didn't stop the work, it only slowed it down temporarily as then he set it up so that some families kept working, while others kept guard.  The people were afraid and wanted to quit, but Nehemiah reminded them of the vision, to fight in the strength of the Lord. The goal was finally achieved, but the city was never as grand as it had been - there were consequences for the nation's sin.  Then, to Nehemiah's dismay, Israel fell back into their own patterns of behaviour.  To keep the new walls built, it meant constant watching and correcting of Israel.  They couldn't be left on their own.

The parallels are amazing.  We, too, as parents, have a burden - we want our children saved.  We want them to have godly spouses, godly offspring and not just this generation, but many generations to come.  We want to educate our children to be able to provide for their families.  We want them to be debt-free and have no bondage in their lives financially.  So, what do we do?  We fast and pray. We encouraged the parents to assess their lives and what their burdens are, especially for their children and then to stop and take it to the Lord and pray.  For those who have never fasted before we encouraged them to do this.  Fasting will reveal the plan God has for us on how to get rid of the burden.  It was the first time some had considered this. 

Then, we said, repent.  Repent of anything that comes to your mind, any area where you've fallen short, perhaps in the decisions you've made in the past, or anything that may be creating this burden you have.  Then, like Nehemiah, go to the King, the true King, the Lord of this earth and ask for His help.  Our King will give us the resources and time we need to accomplish His will.  Like Nehemiah, it'll mean assessing the situation, going around our "walls" and finding where they are broken down in our lives.  Then, as families, we'll need to rebuild these walls.  But, we reminded everyone there, opposition will come, the naysayers who will hear about your vision for your family and they'll tell you what you are doing is wrong or they'll make fun of you.  There are times when we, too, will have fear.  We will want to quit.  It's hard to take sometimes, but we can't let it stop the work of rebuilding - we must persevere.  And we must stand guard for each other! Finally, the walls will be rebuilt - we'll be sending our children out into the world.  Our job will be done, but we never stop being parents.  We must be there if they fall into old patterns or if we, as parents, fall into old patterns. We're all so prone to that, just like the Israelites.

Finally, we talked about how this is being fleshed out in our family, how we are taking our burdens to the Lord, how we have fasted and prayed, asked God for a plan, assessed the situation, grabbed the necessary resources, fought against opposition, corrected, adjusted and monitored each decision as we went along.....it's a lot of work being a parent to 8 souls!

The book of Nehemiah is a great encouragement - so much can be gained by studying it. We just scratched the surface of this amazing book.  As usual, whenever we are required to put something together, like this talk on vision, we are the ones who truly benefit.  We gained so much by talking through it together.  

Meanwhile,  Little J is well on the road to recovery - some might think I over-spiritualized the situation, maybe, but I don't think so.  I think it was like the opposition Nehemiah experienced, trying to derail us before meeting with a group of parents that are trying to rebuild walls in their families' lives.  I'm glad it wasn't anything more serious.

So, tonight, it'll be with a group of seeking parents, wondering if homeschooling is for them.  I'll be praying all day for spiritual protection as once again we head into battle...

Not Just For Today, But For Eternity

What do you do when you get woken up at 3 am and then can't fall back asleep until 5 am, right when your alarm is supposed to go off?  You turn off the alarm and sleep in, that's what you do and trust me, I did it.  Thank goodness for homeschooling....an extremely wonderful side benefit if it's a bad night.

This week my husband and I have two amazing opportunities to talk to two different groups of folks about homeschooling.  Tonight we'll be speaking to our homeschool support group about having a vision for your family and homeschooling.  My husband will be trying to encourage the people who come out to not just think about homeschooling with a "let's just get through the week" type of attitude, but "let's think about the end goal - keeping our children's hearts for today and for eternity". Normally we have only a handful of guys that come out, the rest are women, but this week we sent out an email appealing to the men to be there, too.

Our family will be what we call the "feature family" where we will discuss how we vision as a couple for our family.  It is not just a one-time deal once a year.  We constantly are visioning, almost nightly, but we do set aside a more intentional time as well for this.  Once again, I can thank my parents for modeling that for us.  They would take what they called "Planning Weekends".  They would get us cared for by friends and then go away somewhere.  Even then I knew it wasn't just about planning for us.  I knew they probably needed a getaway and just wanted to be together alone, but still, it always stuck with me and I sure hoped I could do that when I got married.  Now I do!  We go away every anniversary for at least one night.  We certainly enjoy going away, eating out, being at a hotel somewhere, but we do talk...and talk and talk....we are always thinking of our future and the kids future.

We also vision for our family when we go away to the annual homeschool conference in the Spring. That's another two day event that we get mostly to ourselves (now our 3 older children will join us). It is another fantastic time to think, "Why do we pick that curriculum?  Will it benefit my child in any way or would a different one be more suited to him or her?"  We'll ask each other tons of questions that really get us thinking about each child specifically, their needs, and truly, how will that curriculum help them to be a better wife or father?  It's true!  We're thinking that far into the future. We always go with the normative thinking in that we assume, most likely, they will get married, so we have to plan for that.  The boys will definitely need to be able to provide for their families, so it most likely we will avoid subjects that will not waste their time.  For the girls, we always plan on them being wives and helpmeets, so we pick subjects that will allow them to be able to learn those skills as well as assisting in their husbands' ventures.  We encourage all of our children to be entrepreneurial in their thinking.  We'd be thrilled if each one of them had their own business of some kind.

So we are definitely deliberate in our thinking and talking, not to mention the time away that is required. It is always a sacrifice of time and money for my husband as these weekends never seem to fall at a time when he isn't as busy.  But he knows if he doesn't take the time our children will suffer in some way in their future.  Plus, I have no peace.  I need these times away to talk about all my concerns.  I always have concerns!  I'll see something in a child I don't like or the past two years, it's been, "Help!  I have kids in highschool!  Now what???!!"  If we didn't take those times to debrief, I would be in a constant panic all the time.

On Friday, along with 2 other couples,  we'll be speaking to a completely different group of people. We've found in the circles we run in that there are a lot of questions from many about homeschooling? Why do you do it?  How do you start?  What about (the classic question....) socialization?  What about being salt and light?  Etc., etc.   A friend of mine was taken aside one Sunday by another friend and explained she really needed to talk to her about homeschooling once and for all.  Things were not going well with her daughter in the public system.  Her daughter, who was only 6, came home and told her, "You don't make the rules, the teacher does."  The mom was not happy.  My friend decided there were probably enough people with questions about homeschooling to organize a panel of homeschooling parents and their kids and have a Q & A type of night.  So, that's what we've been invited to be on.  The interesting thing about that night is there will be quite a few skeptics, mostly the husbands.  They are only going because their wives want to go.  That's where our husbands come in.  They'll hopefully be able to address all their concerns from a man's perspective.  Even our children will be there as a testimony to homeschooling and its benefits. They'll be on the panel, too, at one point offering their unique perspective.

So, a full week, but again, my kind of week!  I love being out there talking with people!  I love talking about homeschooling and its benefits.  I love being alongside my husband as he talks with other men convincingly about these types of things, too. I pray we'll be used this week to encourage parents to think... it is not just about today, it's for eternity.

"Can We Put Mom in Front of a Show???" and Heather's Story

I have not conquered anger in our home 100%, but it is certainly something we all strive to get rid of. I have seen tremendous improvement in my own life as I aim to make it a cheerful place in the morning which, of course, can be the most challenging, as so many of us struggle to wake up...and happy at that! Yes, I'm a morning person, which has helped me, but it still isn't easy.  Here's a funny story to show the effort I'm attempting to make at changing the atmosphere in the home......

We're still using the Maxwell's Chore system most mornings and one of the ways I like to get people on board is to rile them up with either music or me (seriously) cheering them on.  I must look and sound like a loony, but that's what I do.  I clap my hands, yell out some crazy cheers and sometimes stomp around the house like I'm a cheerleader on steroids - all this in a happy, hilarious tone.  My kids, I think anyway (!), deep down like it - in my mind I'm creating a funny memory of their mom.  I guess I was getting a little carried away the other day as my oldest child said to my husband as he walked in the room, "Uh, Dad, can we put Mom in front of a show?"  I howled.  That's so often what we'll say if the toddlers are out of control, "Can we put J in front of a show?  He's acting crazy!" That statement from my daughter came to my mind in the middle of church last night and I actually snickered out loud.  I think it's great that they think their mom is nutty enough to put her in front of a show to calm her down.  Well, better a crazy mom than an angry one!

So, I'm a Grandma.  That's right, a Grandma, but not the usual kind, a spiritual one.  This is Heather's story....

Heather is a girl I met about 5 years ago when we first moved to the Niagara area.  She was dating Stephanie's brother at the time.  They were both in highschool, just finishing up their last year.  It seemed like things were going great, but for some reason they broke up a couple years ago.  Neither of them were Christians, though Heather had been raised in a church-going home as well as Michael. They both knew the truth, but either didn't fully grasp it or had rejected it for reasons I don't fully know.

During this time, Stephanie and I had become fast friends (my bffc, remember?).  Her life had turned around.  She'd found Christ as her personal Saviour, met Andrew and now has two kids of her own. During the time Heather was dating her brother, Stephanie and Heather also became fast friends. Heather is very likable.  She's actually one of the nicest people I know - beautiful on the inside and out.

After things ended with Stephanie's brother, it seems natural that Stephanie would have no longer seen Heather, but that wasn't the case at all.  Heather seemed drawn to Stephanie.  She observed her life and I'm sure she knew something was different.  Did she have something Heather longed for, but couldn't quite put her finger on it?  At first glance, you would think Heather was a downtown clubbing type of girl as she's a pretty slick chick, but there she was, spending her time, not in clubs, but with Stephanie.  She picked a slightly older mom to hang with and her kids and her husband.....sound familiar?????

Heather was there when Andrew first came on the scene.  I'm sure Heather was probably excited to think Stephanie had a "boyfriend".  She probably thought they would "date" for a couple years, then get engaged for a year, then get married and have kids a few years after that.....but no, Andrew not only suggested courtship where there was no touching, but proposed marriage within two weeks, and a wedding a few months after that, and, sure enough, a honeymoon baby came shortly after.....Heather was blown away.  What is courtship?  No touching?!  Aren't you going back to work? What about waiting to have babies?  Two babies?  Stephanie couldn't keep up with the questions. But she loved it.  Heather was asking all the same questions she had asked only a few years earlier.  She loved being on the other end of the questions now and happily, patiently answered every single one. Heather was truly fascinated by Stephanie and the two of them loved hanging out together.

Then Stephanie's mom got sick.  Heather now saw Stephanie go through the trial of her life.  Perhaps she thought to herself, "This will be the thing that sinks her faith."  But it wasn't.  Stephanie's faith shone through brightly.  Heather was one of the caregivers of her children during this difficult time. Heather observed it all.  She also watched how Stephanie's mom's faith was so strong as well.  She gave God all the glory and trusted Him for her strength even though she knew she was dying.  Her faith in God was so obvious through it all.  Her funeral was a tremendous testimony, as well, to her faith and Heather heard everything the pastor said that day, too, as he pointed everyone to Christ in his sermon.  I actually thought to myself, "How could anyone deny a God after hearing it put that way?"

Sometime in the last few weeks, Heather suggested that she and Stephanie do a book club, just the two of them.  Wow, ok - how about Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis?  Sure!  So, they started to meet every week to intentionally talk about the book.  Then, it was suggested that they do a Bible Study together!  By this point, Stephanie wondered what was going on...was her heart turning?  Had she crossed the line of faith in Christ without her even knowing it?  So Stephanie started to press her, ask more questions to find out where she was at.  This whole time Stephanie and I had been meeting over the last year or two specifically praying for Heather.

As Stephanie started to probe, Heather started to give answers that blew Stephanie out of the water - she, perhaps didn't have a full understanding, but she knew she was a sinner and she knew only Christ could save her.  This realization amazed her that she had only understood it now - the scales came off her eyes.  She needed a Saviour and she found Him!  Suddenly, everything made sense!  Now, she had a hunger for knowledge more than ever.  She started to immediately make changes in her life - specifically with regards to boys.  We like to tease her that she dates only American Eagle models, but it's true!  She's a very attractive girl and very attractive boys are drawn to her - no more, she said. She was starting to prepare herself now for a husband, not just a bunch of guys to date anymore just for fun.  One statement she made was quite profound after she came to faith, "I used to think," she said, "that life had no meaning or purpose.  You were like an animal, meant to live and then simply die.  Now I realize my life has purpose!"  How amazing!

She lives with several other girls, much like herself, or the way she used to be, good girls, nominal Christians, not realizing their faith could be even more real to them. When Stephanie first started to meet with Heather at her house to do the Bible Study, Stephanie just assumed that they would meet privately in her room, but no, Heather had it set up such that they would meet openly in the main sitting area where the other girls were able to watch, observe or even participate.  Stephanie was sure they wouldn't want to come, but sure enough, they do!  Sometimes it'll just be for a few minutes or for a few questions, but each one has seen what is going on and they are seeing the amazing changes in Heather.  They wonder, I'm sure, what has happened to their friend!

Stephanie called me to tell me all that had happened and we were both just praising God at how He had used her in Heather's life.  I have only had a few brief conversations with Heather and never really about spiritual things, yet God used me, too!  That's what makes me a Grandma.  My spiritual child was Stephanie, by God's grace.  Then, she in turn, influenced Heather to salvation - my spiritual granddaughter!  That's what Jesus meant when He said, "Go and make disciples..."  I was so privileged to play a part in Stephanie's life and now she is doing the same with others!  Heather is now doing it with the girls in her house!  It is so amazing!  Francis Chan and David Platt called it, "Multiply".  We are called to multiply, in a spiritual sense, not just physically.  Much earlier in the blog, I wrote about what I liked to call "The Multiplication Effect" - God loves math!  He loves to multiply!  He takes what I can offer, which isn't much, a little time here, a short prayer of desperation there, and He multiplies it - It must be God's favourite thing to do.  I even read in Genesis the other day how Isaac planted a field and then God multiplied it one hundredfold.  He is in the business of multiplying.

So, those are my two amazing stories of friendship and discipleship - Jen and Heather - both miracles of God's goodness and true examples of answers to prayer.  In both cases, it wasn't overnight - it was a process of discipleship, fighting the darkness through prayer - Satan longed to discourage all of us in the journey.  But we fought back through regular prayer and trusting Him, knowing He would be faithful if we remained faithful.  All this, by being a mom in my own home.  I used to think when I first decided to stay home and homeschool that God would never be able to use me again until I was back leading a study or doing a "ministry".  He has shown me that I can still be used, even evangelizing, by simply being at home, managing my children, trying to keep my house somewhat clean.....that is cool!!!!  I love that!  So, I wonder what is next - who will God bring into my life next?!  I'm open.

He Longs to be Gracious to Us

Jen's story continues....but first, I do want people to know that I get full permission to share her story. Even Roger knows I'm writing.  The tie-in as usual to debt (i.e., the title of this blog?!) is not always financial as anyone who has read more than one post will have noticed.  Debt is not always a monetary thing.  You can be in debt to fear or bad decisions, and it leaves you in a place of bondage that makes you feel there is no way out , i.e., this is how my life will look for the rest of my future. At some point in time, both Jen and Roger thought that, but the beauty of Christ and the praying Church is that is not how their story ended.  Read on.....

Roger admitted to himself, he liked Jen, or at least he was interested in her.  He hadn't really talked with her much, but from what he saw and the brief interactions he'd had with her, there was a spark. But, just like that, it was gone.  He suddenly decided, no, no interest.  She's not for me.  This is where it was either cold feet, fear, or a bad habit of thinking negatively, but just like that he gave up.

That was when he got quite the talking to from his sister-in-law.  Roger did not like her input very much and left quite angry, but later, Roger wondered if anything she said was true - was he going to miss out?  Perhaps he was fearful, not trusting God.  He was afraid to hurt her and probably to get hurt himself.  Then a thought occurred to him, he would never know if Jen wasn't meant to be for him without giving it a complete 100% effort, which he had never done in his life with any girl.  I attribute this change of thought to prayer and prayer alone.  Jen, too, had been fasting prior to this - she didn't know Roger when she first started the fast or  perhaps all the reasons why she was fasting. She just was.  She just knew something needed to change in her life.  Perhaps without understanding the full scope of the purpose of her fasting, I believe it had an impact on Roger. The funny though, was one of the reasons he was willing to give 100% was to get his in-laws off his back.  He knew it wouldn't work out, so this way he could say, "I gave it 100% and it still didn't work out - now leave me alone."  But God had other plans for him.

Roger's brother and his wife would invite him and Jen over all the time and many Fridays were spent at their place as they slowly got to know one another.  He was still being careful, but it was a whole new way of behaving for him, so patience was required!  Jen was super frustrated and checked in with me quite often.  I would take it to the girls and we would pray!  We were regularly praying for this man who was really bugging all of us by this point!

Then the Christmas season.  He and Jen went to a Christmas concert together and out to a restaurant afterwards.  She was emotionally upset about something that night and was clearly sad.  He found himself longing to comfort her and suddenly he realized he was feeling compassion towards her, something he hadn't felt before towards a woman.  He was like the Grinch - that night his heart grew so big, it nearly burst out of his shirt!  That was the turning point for him.

They started to talk, text, get together regularly on their own - no more help from brothers and sisters-in-law.  He heard her story, she heard his.  I wasn't sure all that was going on at this point and checked in with her.  She assured me, with a big grin on her face, "Things are good!!!"  We just kept praying and waiting to see how this would all unfold.

Well, it sure unfolded fast!  This past Friday, when I was out at my sister's, I got a text from Jen saying, "Answer this text ASAP!!!!?????"  I didn't get the text as I was out and had put my phone away! The next morning I read it and immediately texted her back telling her to wake up and tell me what was going on!  She finally did and the words on the phone were "As of last night, Roger and I officially courting!"

I picked up the phone and called her immediately.  She told me the whole story and I cried.  I couldn't believe it.  She said he had said, "I am intending this as a courtship that ends in marriage (or something like that!  I don't know his exact words!)"  As far as I was concerned, she was telling me they were getting married.  It is a done deal in my mind and I couldn't believe God had done it, He'd answered our prayers.  All the tears she had cried, never thinking it could happen to her.  She met a godly man who is now going to love her and care for her, all the things she longs for.  Only God could do that.  We certainly weren't the only ones who prayed for her or for Roger.  There's no way to know how it all came together in the spiritual world, but all I know is it did.

It turns out on the Friday night, once they had made it official that they were a couple, preparing for marriage, they wanted to go and tell everyone they knew what God had done.  We had been gone that night and, much to my disappointment, I found out on the Saturday that they had all come by the farm on the Friday night with Jen, Roger, the brother and sister-in law....everyone who had been following the saga so closely!  I wish I had been home!!!  But, to make up for it, Roger and Jen came by on Monday to fill us in.

It was like seeing two entirely different people.  First of all, besides the glowing on their faces, they were all giggly (some Jens more than others!).  They were also clearly nuts about each other.  Roger just kept saying things like, "Look at her!  She's so beautiful!!!"  or "I've always loved the name Jennifer."  Oh my goodness. I've since heard his teenage nephews think it is all a little too much for them and find it borderline disgusting how lovey-dovey they are!  My little girls sat on the couch beside them as they told their story with absolute wonder in their eyes.  I think what was so amazing and touching was hearing the story from Roger's perspective - that poor man could barely get two sentences out and tears would come, over and over.  He was so moved by God's goodness to him, that he was constantly overwhelmed with emotion.  I couldn't help but cry along with him.  "God is so good!" he would say, "I can't believe he's chosen to give me this blessing in my life now!"  So beautiful.

A miracle was sitting on my couch that day - a true miracle.  Anyone who knew Roger had pretty much given up - at 51, it seemed love was never going to enter into his life.  None of us have known Jen very long, but I'm sure she felt it would never happen to her either.  My little girls sat there, knowing they had been part of the miracle.  They got to see that God does miracles in peoples' lives, right before their very eyes!  How can we doubt God's goodness to us, how?  He doesn't have to bless us with marriage, but He does!  It is so exciting to live this Christian life, so full of gifts from above!

A verse came to me while they sat there that I shared with them.  I had read this same verse in Isaiah the same week I got a call to go on the first date with my future husband, twenty years ago, "The Lord longs to be gracious to you."  I, too, had been longing to be married and was in the Word praying about it when I came across that verse.  It had been such an encouragement to me.  That week Renaissance Man called me and the rest is history.  God doesn't hold back blessings from us! He longs to be gracious to us!  Yes, the Christian life can be hard, but if we look around us, don't we see His goodness in so many areas of our life?  He longs to be gracious to us and He is gracious to us...all the time!  I think some look at God as a big "meany", but that isn't the God I know.  God was gracious to our sweet friend, Jennifer, and to this patient man, Roger. We all thank God for His kindness to them.

Now, my girls are a mess with excitement - ask her, Roger!  Ask her!  Make it official!  We want to plan a wedding!  Will it be on the farm or in a church?!  Come on, we've got plans to make!!!!  We love you both and can't wait for the big day, so get a move on it!  :)

Jen's Story

I have two great stories about two great girls this week, Jen and Heather.  I've only known both young women for a very short time, but so much has happened in their lives I have to write about it.  The reason both of them have become very special to me as well is because God has given me a very special privilege to be just a wee small part of all that has gone on.

First, Jen.....She arrived at our church, a single lady, and sat in a bench by herself last March.  That is super unusual as we are a "large family/majority homeschooled" type of church - not too many singles except all the children!  But there she sat.  I should probably mention she had quite a few tatoos up and down her arms which were hard not to notice.  Very pretty.  Long, straight, high-lighted hair.  She definitely stood out.

She was spoken to immediately after the service by another mom who was very friendly and almost right away I saw tears come out of her eyes. I didn't catch her full story, but I could tell she had one. She met with the pastor right away, too.

She kept coming to church.  It wasn't until May that I actually was able to get her over to our house, by this point I had heard bits and pieces of her story, but I knew I needed to hear the whole thing and directly from her.  I think she was shocked to be invited.  Not sure, but she seemed excited to come. That Monday, she came over for dinner and I got the story.

She was a new believer.  She had just left a different church that was kind of off-base doctrinally, and even as a new believer, she could tell something wasn't right.  I can't remember how she even came to find our little church, but right away, she knew she should be there.  She had been married before when she was much younger and an unbeliever, (she was now in her late 30s).  She'd been married for only 6 years,  and the whole time her husband, turns out, was a drug dealer, drug addict (and all sorts of other bad addictions)  bad guy.  She left him.

On her own again, her brother suggested she try a career as a personal support worker.  This was a very positive change in her life and after the training was over she ended up working taking care of seniors in their homes.  Jen was suffering during this whole time, however.  She was very upset with the way her life had turned out, but she kept it to herself.  One time, she found herself taking care of a sweet, older couple in their 80s.  Right away she could tell there was something different about them - they were Christians.  After many months of working for them and living in a constant state of sadness, the older lady noticed her being so sad and said to her, "You know you need the Lord, don't you?"  Jen broke down.  This senior couple in her life was the instrument God used to save her.  So wonderful.  For many years after that Jen would be in touch or they would call her to find out how she was doing right up until the older man died.  His wife is still alive, I believe.

Jen found a church and was now very interested in marriage, but this time to a Christian.  As so many do, she turned to internet dating as it is so hard to find a Christian spouse these days, it seems.  She thought she had found a decent guy. but the long story short is - he wasn't.  They never even lived a day together.  She was required to get paper work to move to the States where he was located.  He was supposedly there waiting for her.  When she tried to be in contact with him, he basically told her, "I don't love you.  The marriage is over."  She was dumbfounded.  She spent the next few months trying to be in touch with him to no avail.  He didn't want to be married it turned out.  Legally they weren't married in the eyes of the law as they hadn't shared a residence together.  It was legally dissolved this past July.

Enter in our family back in May.  As she sat there telling us her story, my younger girls were flitting about her.  My six year old was immediately drawn to her and kept coming out to us with little drawings she had made for her.  Then, as we walked around the farm, she would snuggle up by Jen, trying to walk beside her or hold her hand.  It was a beautiful day, the animals were loud and active and Jen seemed to be just soaking it all in.  She must have taken a dozen pictures with her phone that she kept sending to her mom of chickens or cats or cows.  I don't remember all I said to her, but I know my primary purpose that day was to offer her hope and friendship and that she would know we wanted to be in her life in some way.  We ate dinner and then she left shortly afterwards.

It was the next day or so that she sent a beautiful email saying how she had enjoyed her time so much and that she felt her heart had started to heal after that day.  So sweet.  The following Sunday, I went up to her, still hardly knowing her and I told her, "You need to fast."  "I can't fast, I'm diabetic."  "You can fast something!"  I explained to her what I meant and why I thought she needed to do this.  I was so excited for her and I explained how fasting can be used to break bonds of oppression in her life, be it confusion about relationships, direction in life, or just knowing God better.  She immediately knew what she should do and let me know the next day - she was giving up Facebook.  She started to replace that time with listening to sermons and reading her Bible.  That's all she did in her spare time for awhile.

Shortly after that, I got an "emergency" email asking for my commitment to help her, to pray for her, to find a godly husband.  Amen!  That's what I am all about!  I told her I would, not knowing how that could be possible as I really didn't know any single guys, and even got my girls on board praying, especially the six year old.  She's a little prayer warrior and because she loved Jen so much it was easy for her.  I wish I had a recording of the way she prayed - her prayers were so simple, so sweet, "Dear Lord, please find Jen a husband who is nice and who treats her nice, not like those other bad husbands."  I was so touched.  If Jen could have only heard her sweet little prayers, she would have known everything was going to be alright.

At some point I gave her a book we sell on courtship that is a fictional story about a young woman who longs to be married and an older Christian man who has waited for the right girl to come along and never found the right one.  It goes through their whole courtship story and how they prayed without knowing the other person's prayers.  It was a book that was very inspiring to my bffc, too, and has had a dramatic impact on myself as well, as I long for my children to experience a courtship without all the pain of dating.  Jen was inspired to stop pining for a husband and to take all of her desires and thoughts of a husband to the Lord.  She was learning the lesson of waiting and being content in the process.

Now, go back 5 years.  I met Roger through friends in our church.  He was the identical twin brother to a fellow we knew, but had never been married.  He seemed like a nice enough guy.  He pastored a church on the weekends and worked for a delivery company during the week.  From what I understood he could have been married, but was just too picky, his sister-in-law and brother would say.  I met a couple single girls that I thought were perfect for him and told him about them.  He wouldn't hear of it.  They weren't for him he said.  I told him that I was committed to praying for him though despite the fact I felt he was a little too stubborn!  I really did pray for him quite intensely for awhile there.  I knew he wanted to be married.  Somehow over the past 5 years, our paths would cross and sometimes I would tease him or lecture him, but he remained faithful to not settling for just any girl just because I, or anyone else, thought he should.  It seemed he would be single for life.

Once in awhile he showed up at our church if he wasn't preaching at his own.  He liked seeing his brother and his family and he knew everyone in our church quite well.  Roger apparently noticed Jen right away.  She didn't notice him!  Until he talked....he answered a question in a discussion one Sunday evening about the passage we were studying - his love for God shone through and Jen had to turn around and see who had said it.  Her eyes were opened to this man.  She talked to me about him and my eyes got big.  Roger.  Could it be him?  Could he be for her?  I couldn't believe it.  I ramped up the praying big time and called on the girls to start specifically praying for his name.

He was taking his sweet time in my opinion to speak to her, but he was fearful, I found out later, and not necessarily convinced she was right for him.  He wrote it off as not meant to be until his brother and sister-in-law gave him a "Don't-mess-this-one-up type of talk" and strongly encouraged him to go for it!  For the first time in Roger's life, he did - full speed ahead.

Tomorrow - the rest of the story.....

On Becoming a Morning Person, God's Provision and No Fear

How to become a morning person.....make sure your kids have really weird dreams in the middle of the night that make them yell out at a brother and make you go running into the room to see if they're ok....You are guaranteed to have trouble going back to sleep yourself and you will find yourself waiting for the alarm to go off!!!!!  Next, make sure you have lots to drink right before bed.  This will guarantee that you are so uncomfortable in the wee hours of the morning that you will be forced to wake up as you need to make a trip to the bathroom!

All of this works wonderfully if you want to become a morning person!  I laugh as I actually read a post on how to become a morning person yesterday and they didn't write what I just wrote!  The things I would write are in the above paragraph and happen to me on a regular basis.  My kids have the strangest dreams that make them cry out (often in anger at their siblings!).  I should just learn to not get out of bed, but sometimes they don't stop, so I have to go in to their rooms to tell them they are dreaming. It's kind of funny except that I do love sleeping at night.  This tends to be super disruptive to my sleep and if it is right before I'm supposed to wake up then I lie there wishing I could fall asleep again, but I end up tossing and turning.  The bathroom thing is true, too.

I do love being a morning person.  I end up being a tired afternoon person, but will try to grab 15 min at some point and that's all I need to make it through the rest of the day.  I really do go to bed much earlier than the average person I'm told, but lately, my older teens have become the classic chatty kids late at night.  You can't get them to go to bed.  I've tried.  They won't stop talking.  I've tried to get that to stop, too.  My older son will actually tell me, "No, Mom!  I love talking to you guys!  I never get to do this!  The little ones are always so loud and running around interrupting!"  How do you say no that?  So last night I was up until 11 pm which is waaaaay past what I like to do, but when these two like to talk, we are really trying to sit and listen and it is nice and there are way less interruptions! I know these days will not last forever, so I really do embrace them, but it impacts my mornings for sure!

We have been busy this week prepping for the trip to New York.  We are trying to do as much as we can on the cheap, but we are still finding it super expensive.  We don't regret the decision to go, just that it costs more than we bargained on.  Travel insurance, oil changes, new wipers, gas!  Plus, I wanted my kids to go without holes in their jeans.  Guess what...all of their jeans have holes, or so it suddenly seemed, so off we went to the store last night.  But I was grateful, so grateful for that store that sells great clothes second hand, "Plato's Closet".  We found several pairs of jeans, a couple sweaters, two amazing pairs of shoes, a hoodie, a dress shirt and it all added up to $135, if I remember correctly.  At a regular store, that might have bought two pairs of jeans - that's it, so yes, it wasn't free, but we felt it was good quality stuff we had bought.  I had a 20% off coupon on top of that, so an even better savings.

Then I went to the second hand child's store (there are two - one for youth and one for kids) and the jeans were $1!!!  I was excited.  "Who else needs jeans??!!!!"  I quickly picked up a few jeans, a winter jacket (one of our horses loves to play with zippers on coats - can't explain it - and he ruined the zipper on my son's coat so he could no longer zip it up!  I also got some shirts for my son who only has stained ones it seems and that all added up to $37 - again, not free, but not bad for the amount of things I bought.  I shop so rarely for clothes as we have been given so much from friends and family who have bigger or older boys.  This was unusual to have to head out, but necessary.  I forced my husband to pick a sweater or two as lately all he wears is "Camo".  That is fine for the Duck Dynasty guy, but I really don't like camo on my husband.  So he listened to me and now he'll be a little easier on the eyes!

I read about how Hudson Taylor's belongings got stolen by one of his Chinese helpers.  It amounted to a significant sum of money.  He prayed that God would convict the man to return it, but it never showed up.  Instead, he got an unexpected letter in the mail that had been sent from Europe 6 weeks earlier for the exact amount that his stolen luggage was worth.  This showed Taylor that not only did God provide for his needs, but he knew what they were even before his things were stolen!  God had moved in his friend's heart to send the money at just the right time so it would arrive when he needed it - even allowing for the 6 weeks of travel time!

I know this is the case for us, too.  My husband is a strong man.  He is not afraid of anything. But, Satan can has found that he can make my husband fearful in one area, the fear of not being able to provide.  My husband recognizes this and has determined to nip it in the bud.  He will see all that we are spending, but knows that we must spend it to keep our vehicle running, to be safe, or to dress our children in clothes so that they are not homeless looking, or to buy the insurance that is necessary, etc., and instead of thinking, "Oh no, our bank account is dropping - we'll never be able to pay the people we owe, or where will the money come next, or what if, what if, what if........????"  Now, he recognizes it is a lack of trust in God - He'll speak to himself and say, "God knows our needs.  He'll provide what we need.  I don't need to be afraid."  This has always been the case in our twenty years of marriage - always.  We've never truly gone without.

So, off they'll go to New York this weekend - with 11 chapters of Acts under their belts.  They are going to have an amazing opportunity to interact with other youth that memorize God's Word and they'll have fun, too.  I will be here with the younger 5.  There will be lots to do - We have two ice surfaces to skate on, the pond and a rink my husband and boys made.  Plus, my sister's husband is away, too, so I may meet up with her and her kids which will be fun.  Even that is a provision by God - sister/cousin time!   Maybe they'll even bring back a medal........