A Sword in the Dark

Now I have another reason for why I write.


I had the awesome opportunity yesterday to go see Ann Voscamp, writer of One Thousand Gifts.  I had heard her before (I wrote about that in an earlier post about being thankful in everything, then the miracle is imminent, if you recall.)  Though I'd seen her before, I was curious if her message had changed.  Nope.  Not one bit.  If anything it had improved.  Her passion was even greater.


Her message continued to be about joy.  She shared how she had struggled with anxiety most of her life until she discovered she wasn't a kingdom person.  Kingdom people, she said, see EVERYTHING, as grace.  She simply wasn't doing that.  She was seeing everything as God's way of trying to get her not give to her.


Once again she shared about "Eucharisteo".  Matt. 26:27 has been in my head all week as I have Ann Voscamp's daily calendar and sometimes I don't change it especially if it really hits me.  That was the verse from a few days ago and I just haven't flipped it as it is so profoundly simple, but meaningful, "And he took the cup and gave thanks."  "Gave thanks" is "Eucharisteo" in the Greek, meaning "Grace".  He saw the cup as grace, she said.  "Chara" is the root word which means "Joy" - the opposite of anxiety.  She said, "As long as thanks is possible, then joy is possible. Joy goes against how this dark world spins.  If you let something steal your joy, you let something steal your strength."  We all know that verse, don't we?  "The joy of the Lord is our......strength"!!!


This was good, too - she reminded me, we have to train our eyes to see things this way - thanksgiving must be a new life habit.


Here's another verse we forget, but have heard all our lives, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life."  Psalm 23.  But did you know "follow me" in the Hebrew is "Radaph" which actually means, Pursue, Chase, Hunt Down????  God is trying to pursue us, chase us, hunt us down with good things????!  All our lives!  Every day of our life, if we would try to see things that way, instead of the opposite way, that he is out to get us.


Before she ended, she talked about the pen.  Wielding the pen like a sword in the dark.  Satan hates the pen!  That was fascinating to me.  If he can keep me from writing, from seeing our journey as a great gift from God, then I'm out of order, I stay in the dark.  Satan wins.  So I am more determined than ever to write, even more, counting every test as a gift.


I think her final line was my prayer for myself to the Lord, "I will let you love me ANYWAY that you want to love me." 


Isn't that powerful?  Staying in debt could be a way that he chooses to love me as it is keeping me on my knees more.  He knows how prone to wander I am and he is jealous.  It wards off anxiety to see his timeline as another form of a gift to me.


So, I will continue to write, to wield the pen in the literal dark as the sun is not up yet.  I will continue to try to show his many gifts that really are too innumerable to track and like many who have done this before me, I'll write them down....(according to Ann, literally writing down 5 things a day that you're grateful for improves your happiness by 25%!)


1.  My morning coffee, it's back and I'm enjoying it!
2.  The pipes weren't frozen this morning!
3.  The dishes that didn't get put away last night - means I have kitchen debt, but means I have a kitchen!
4.  Hurt kitties - yes, one of our cats has something wrong with its foot, but I'm seeing this as an opportunity to have my son, who wants to be a vet, gain more experience as he'll come with me to the vet (I'm praying it won't be expensive!)
5.  Quiet mornings when everyone else is in bed - the only quiet time of my whole day - a gift!


Well, I could go on and on, but alas, I'm already 25% happier and I have a kitchen to clean up!