I think I've written about the Wild Brothers before. The Wilds are an actual missionary family that live in Papua New Guinea with their 4 boys. Well, now their 3 boys...one of them went off to college in the U.S. They actually built a boat and sailed across the Pacific to get him there. Can't even fathom it.
They keep a blog of their adventures. Most recently they posted about being home on furlough and how that is coming to an end now. During their time at home, the mom was constantly asked how her boys were adjusting to being in another culture again. She thought it was a strange question, because her boys were fine. But then it made her think, "Why are they fine?" Then it occurred to her. They are fine because nothing in their life had really changed. As a family, they did everything together. When they were in Papua, they were together. When they crossed the Pacific, they were together. When they were in the U.S., they were together. For their boys, in each situation, that meant they never needed to worry about food, clothing or where they would sleep. They knew, if they were with their parents, they were ok. Thus, they were "fine".
Why, she wondered then, is it different for us as parents who trust in God. We have a heavenly father who is an even better parent than an earthly set of parents. Just like those boys who go from one culture to another culture and don't really struggle like one would think they should struggle, shouldn't we also be ok no matter what situation we find ourselves in? As long as we are "together" with God we are ok. We never need to worry about food, clothing or where we will sleep. He knows what we need and when we need it.
I thought this was such a great comparison and how she explained why her kids were doing so well. Of course they should be doing well! So should we! We are constantly with our "family", with our heavenly Father. So, just like those boys, I'm going to consciously remember that today - I have a parent who knows my every need, so I do not need to be anxious for anything.
Tuesday, 28 February 2017
Monday, 27 February 2017
I Should Work for Nike
I really ticked off my 4 year old this weekend. After a full week of being sick with some kind of throat virus, he was getting pretty spoiled. If he wanted fries for lunch, fries it was. I would even have a kid run out to buy them. But then, he got better. Yet, his "kingly" status that he now had was still in full form. He wanted me to go out and get grapes. I told him I didn't have grapes, but I did need to go shopping. I would try to remember, I told him, and then, later on that day, I went out. Just as I was leaving the store with a few items I'd picked up, I remembered that he had asked for grapes, but I had already gone through the cash and was literally leaving the store. "He won't remember, " I thought.....WRONG. I got home and he said, "Did you buy grapes? Where are the grapes?" "Oh, sorry! I forgot! I will have to get them next time....but I did get apples and oranges!" He was mad. I knew I had created a monster when, after storming around the house for a bit, he said to me, "Go out and get grapes and don't come back until you have them!" I guess I have some reprogramming to do.
This won't be a very spiritual post today. And, based on what I'm about to write about, you would think Nike was paying me to say all this (I might just have to see if I can get them to)...but I'm in week 4 of using their Nike + training app. If you ever need encouragement to work out, this is the app for you. I've logged over 360 minutes already and am on quite the regime. I'm heading to Florida in a couple of months with my sisters and mom again and, I joke, have to be in my best beach body. Ok, so no beach body, but I'm using that as incentive to keep at it.
My oldest daughter found the app in her own research and started using it. I was so impressed with her determination I started to check out what she was using. This app is amazing! What I love about it is that it tells you everything you are supposed to do, how long you are to do it, what the exact exercise it, and walks you through the entire workout. I used to use Jillian Michaels and I still love her, but when I was using her book with the workouts in the back, I would literally have to stop and turn to the pages that described each exercise, thus interrupting each workout. Super frustrating if you're trying to maintain momentum. Not with this one. Here's how it works:
First you enter in your goal, how long you want to work out each week, how many times a week, what level you're at, whether or not you have equipment. Then, it sets you up on a personalized program. Before, when I had 4 or 5 kids, I could go to the Y where they set me up on a personalized plan, but not now. If I want to workout, I need to get up, workout at home, with no one looking at me, and then get on with my day. Not getting into a car, loading all sorts of kids.....gear, etc...This is so much easier.
Then, each morning, I just download the workout for that day. If I miss it for some day, no big deal, but right now, I'm working out 5 x a week, anywhere from 12-45 min each time (most workouts are about 30 minutes on my plan) with just a few small weights and body weight exercises. Once the workout starts, the Nike Voice (whoever she is) starts telling you what to do, how long to do it, and then walks you through how to do the exercise the most effectively. What amazes me, is that I obey this crazy voice! I do everything she tells me to do! And, before you know it, I'm done a 30 minutes workout and it doesn't even feel like 30 minutes has gone by. I think the reason I love it is that it is all circuit training and the exercises are never the same. With Jillian's videos, it was the same thing every day. I get bored really easily and never knowing which exercise is going to come up really helps me to keep interested and to keep going. Now that I've done almost 4 weeks of this, I am getting to know which exercises they use the most, but I still enjoy it as I don't know when they'll be used or in what order.
The other neat thing about the app is that it can read your mind. I'll get a text every so often telling me, "Keep going! It's worth it!" The girl in the app must have known I was feeling like quitting! Then, the night before the week starts, I'll get another text telling me how far I've come and what to look forward to! So funny, but those little encouragements really help.
I've told my sisters and nieces about the app and now they are telling all sorts of people, too. I really need to see how I can paid to work for Nike. Is the scale changing? Actually, not too much, as they say that muscle mass weighs more than the fat, but I did notice in today's workout that I was doing exercises that a few weeks ago I could hardly do without feeling like I was dying, so I'm definitely getting stronger and most days I am in some kind of pain, good pain, that is. The day after I had my sister start on the app, she texted me, "I can't cough! It hurts so much!" That's the good kind of pain I'm talkin' 'bout!
So, if you're looking for a little incentive to try something new and you don't feel like going to a gym....this is the app for you! How's that for a sales pitch.....I really should get in touch with Nike....
This won't be a very spiritual post today. And, based on what I'm about to write about, you would think Nike was paying me to say all this (I might just have to see if I can get them to)...but I'm in week 4 of using their Nike + training app. If you ever need encouragement to work out, this is the app for you. I've logged over 360 minutes already and am on quite the regime. I'm heading to Florida in a couple of months with my sisters and mom again and, I joke, have to be in my best beach body. Ok, so no beach body, but I'm using that as incentive to keep at it.
My oldest daughter found the app in her own research and started using it. I was so impressed with her determination I started to check out what she was using. This app is amazing! What I love about it is that it tells you everything you are supposed to do, how long you are to do it, what the exact exercise it, and walks you through the entire workout. I used to use Jillian Michaels and I still love her, but when I was using her book with the workouts in the back, I would literally have to stop and turn to the pages that described each exercise, thus interrupting each workout. Super frustrating if you're trying to maintain momentum. Not with this one. Here's how it works:
First you enter in your goal, how long you want to work out each week, how many times a week, what level you're at, whether or not you have equipment. Then, it sets you up on a personalized program. Before, when I had 4 or 5 kids, I could go to the Y where they set me up on a personalized plan, but not now. If I want to workout, I need to get up, workout at home, with no one looking at me, and then get on with my day. Not getting into a car, loading all sorts of kids.....gear, etc...This is so much easier.
Then, each morning, I just download the workout for that day. If I miss it for some day, no big deal, but right now, I'm working out 5 x a week, anywhere from 12-45 min each time (most workouts are about 30 minutes on my plan) with just a few small weights and body weight exercises. Once the workout starts, the Nike Voice (whoever she is) starts telling you what to do, how long to do it, and then walks you through how to do the exercise the most effectively. What amazes me, is that I obey this crazy voice! I do everything she tells me to do! And, before you know it, I'm done a 30 minutes workout and it doesn't even feel like 30 minutes has gone by. I think the reason I love it is that it is all circuit training and the exercises are never the same. With Jillian's videos, it was the same thing every day. I get bored really easily and never knowing which exercise is going to come up really helps me to keep interested and to keep going. Now that I've done almost 4 weeks of this, I am getting to know which exercises they use the most, but I still enjoy it as I don't know when they'll be used or in what order.
The other neat thing about the app is that it can read your mind. I'll get a text every so often telling me, "Keep going! It's worth it!" The girl in the app must have known I was feeling like quitting! Then, the night before the week starts, I'll get another text telling me how far I've come and what to look forward to! So funny, but those little encouragements really help.
I've told my sisters and nieces about the app and now they are telling all sorts of people, too. I really need to see how I can paid to work for Nike. Is the scale changing? Actually, not too much, as they say that muscle mass weighs more than the fat, but I did notice in today's workout that I was doing exercises that a few weeks ago I could hardly do without feeling like I was dying, so I'm definitely getting stronger and most days I am in some kind of pain, good pain, that is. The day after I had my sister start on the app, she texted me, "I can't cough! It hurts so much!" That's the good kind of pain I'm talkin' 'bout!
So, if you're looking for a little incentive to try something new and you don't feel like going to a gym....this is the app for you! How's that for a sales pitch.....I really should get in touch with Nike....
Friday, 24 February 2017
A Question about Money
My husband came into the family room this morning, "Grrrr....I've got stuff stuck all over the bottom of my feet!!!!" "Sorry, about that," I said. "Pretzels...." Last night we had some Bible Quizzing kids over and the younger ones were upstairs. They were imagining my littlest was a cheetah and the pretzels were the treat they used to catch him. So they made a trail of pretzels going up the stairs into a pile where the "cheetah" was supposed to get caught. Very cute, except they forgot all about the cheetah trail of pretzels and left them for our feet to find this morning....squished, crushed, and spread all over the entire house now......classic. A day of vacuuming lies ahead.....
But I digress....I am reading a fiction book right now about the life of Martin Luther. It tells his story through two main characters, a sister and a brother. Their struggle to find God and how to please Him is clear. They never know if they've done enough good because they don't have access to the Scriptures. They can't afford to buy the indulgences the priests offer so they always feel guilt, never sure of their salvation.
They are very poor and barely making it with their large family. The father, (not unlike ours!) is a crazy inventor who just can't seem to get his big break, so they always struggle. The oldest sister, who tells the story through her eyes, is constantly trying to figure out God as well as why life seems to be so hard. The priests don't help her much. At one point she says, "I have just heard a sermon about despising the world, from a great preacher, one of the Dominican friars, who is going through the land to awaken people to religion. He spoke especially against money, which he called 'delusion, and dross, and worthless dust, and a soul-destroying canker.' To monks no doubt it may be so. For what could they do with it? But is it not so to me. Yesterday money filled my heart with one of the purest joys I have ever known, and made me thank God as I hardly ever thanked Him before."
They had an enormous debt that could not be paid. Her mother and father didn't know what to do, but then in a "chance" meeting, someone noticed her beautiful embroidery and offered her a contract to sew all the altar-cloths and coverings for the church. The sum he was to pay her was enough to almost cover her father's debt and he was going to pay her in advance. She ran home to tell her family. She wrote, "No! Whatever that Dominican preacher might say, nothing would ever persuade me that these precious guldens, which I took home yesterday evening with a heart brimming over with joy and thankfulness, which made our father clasp his hands in thanksgiving, and our mother's eyes overflow with happy tears, are mere delusion, or dross, or dust. Is not money what we make it? Dust in the miser's chest; canker in the proud man's heart; but golden sunbeams, streams of blessing earned by a child's labour and comforting a parent's heart, or lovingly poured from rich men's hands into poor men's homes."
How many times has that exact thing happened to us? We've often found ourselves in a tight spot, not sure what to do, then a contract will come in or a new job is offered and we find ourselves in awe of God's provision, thanking him with clasped hands and tears flowing, just like the parents in this book. Is that the love of money, like the friar suggested? Or is it the love of God for His provision? It seems strange to be so happy about money, yet money does ironically bring happiness at times. But, I think the author of this book says it best, "Is not money what we make it?" The worship of money, the love of money, when we make it an idol....that is what is dangerous. But so often God uses money to answer our prayers and the joy that comes when He does so is amazing! Money can be dangerous, too, when we rely on it for our joy and security. But when we know and love the Provider, then it brings "streams of blessing", just like the young girl said. A bit of a fine line perhaps, but the reason her little story resonates so much with me is because I could have written that story myself. We've seen God do miracles like that so many times I can hardly recount them all. In that sense, money has been a true blessing to us.
But I digress....I am reading a fiction book right now about the life of Martin Luther. It tells his story through two main characters, a sister and a brother. Their struggle to find God and how to please Him is clear. They never know if they've done enough good because they don't have access to the Scriptures. They can't afford to buy the indulgences the priests offer so they always feel guilt, never sure of their salvation.
They are very poor and barely making it with their large family. The father, (not unlike ours!) is a crazy inventor who just can't seem to get his big break, so they always struggle. The oldest sister, who tells the story through her eyes, is constantly trying to figure out God as well as why life seems to be so hard. The priests don't help her much. At one point she says, "I have just heard a sermon about despising the world, from a great preacher, one of the Dominican friars, who is going through the land to awaken people to religion. He spoke especially against money, which he called 'delusion, and dross, and worthless dust, and a soul-destroying canker.' To monks no doubt it may be so. For what could they do with it? But is it not so to me. Yesterday money filled my heart with one of the purest joys I have ever known, and made me thank God as I hardly ever thanked Him before."
They had an enormous debt that could not be paid. Her mother and father didn't know what to do, but then in a "chance" meeting, someone noticed her beautiful embroidery and offered her a contract to sew all the altar-cloths and coverings for the church. The sum he was to pay her was enough to almost cover her father's debt and he was going to pay her in advance. She ran home to tell her family. She wrote, "No! Whatever that Dominican preacher might say, nothing would ever persuade me that these precious guldens, which I took home yesterday evening with a heart brimming over with joy and thankfulness, which made our father clasp his hands in thanksgiving, and our mother's eyes overflow with happy tears, are mere delusion, or dross, or dust. Is not money what we make it? Dust in the miser's chest; canker in the proud man's heart; but golden sunbeams, streams of blessing earned by a child's labour and comforting a parent's heart, or lovingly poured from rich men's hands into poor men's homes."
How many times has that exact thing happened to us? We've often found ourselves in a tight spot, not sure what to do, then a contract will come in or a new job is offered and we find ourselves in awe of God's provision, thanking him with clasped hands and tears flowing, just like the parents in this book. Is that the love of money, like the friar suggested? Or is it the love of God for His provision? It seems strange to be so happy about money, yet money does ironically bring happiness at times. But, I think the author of this book says it best, "Is not money what we make it?" The worship of money, the love of money, when we make it an idol....that is what is dangerous. But so often God uses money to answer our prayers and the joy that comes when He does so is amazing! Money can be dangerous, too, when we rely on it for our joy and security. But when we know and love the Provider, then it brings "streams of blessing", just like the young girl said. A bit of a fine line perhaps, but the reason her little story resonates so much with me is because I could have written that story myself. We've seen God do miracles like that so many times I can hardly recount them all. In that sense, money has been a true blessing to us.
Wednesday, 22 February 2017
Single Mom Wilderness School
I appreciate that the Bible doesn't avoid hard topics. It's all in there. Yesterday we read about Hagar, the single mom. I had never really considered her as a single mom. She had Abraham, didn't she? No, not really. Sarah had Abraham. She was more like leftovers. And Sarah knew it.
Sarah had just become a "believer" when Isaac was born. A believer in the Miracle-worker who could bring her a baby in her old age, but she wasn't fully sanctified yet and still could be quite nasty. She'd already treated Hagar very badly when Sarah found out Hagar was pregnant. Hagar ran away into the wilderness. Already pregnant, and a single mom-to-be, she was alone. But God found her there and encouraged her with a promise of a son, "I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude." Then, he also told her, "...because the Lord has listened to your affliction...." So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, "You are a God of seeing...Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me." (Gen. 16:11. 13)
Isn't that what a single mom needs to hear? That she is heard? That her affliction is not unnoticed? He is a God of seeing and He looks after her.
But, poor Hagar. Her troubles didn't stop there. Again, she gets booted out. Back into the wilderness, for the second time. I'm sure all single moms must feel like that is where they live most of the time. Later, after both Isaac and Ishmael are both older, Sarah, again, gets ticked off at Hagar. Ishmael was caught "laughing". Perhaps at Isaac? It isn't clear, but it sure made Sarah mad and she was determined to get rid of both of them. Unbelievably, God allows Hagar to be sent out into the wilderness...yet again.
This time, God doesn't reveal Himself to her until her skin of water is gone and she's put her son under a bush to die. "Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot, for she said, 'Let me not look on the death of the child.' And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept." (Ge. 21:16) How many times have I received a text from my single mom friend telling me how often she cries? Not only is God a God who sees, but He is also a God who hears. "And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, 'What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation.' Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water and gave the boy a drink." (Gen.21: 17, 18)
These verses encourage me that he not only hears the cries of the single mom, but also the cries of her children. As I watch my friend go through this struggle, I'm also seeing her kids' struggles, her kids' cries. I'm pretty helpless. I sometimes feel like I'm watching them under a bush with no water. I hear my friend's cries for her own children and I feel like a helpless observer...but then....there are stories where I hear God has heard her, heard her cries for her kids. This past weekend I asked her, "So, have you heard about the hydro bill yet?" She's been staying in a cabin all winter "for free". The owner of the cabin, who has never even met her, said the only condition was that she pay the hydro bill. All winter long, she's been keeping the heat at a low, low level. Not using the dryer, hanging all the clothes up in the basement to dry. Making all sorts of dramatic changes in their lifestyle so that she wouldn't be stuck with a huge hydro bill. But no bill would come. We were wondering if the owner was going to just surprise her with a big amount due at the end of the winter. Finally, she heard from the owner. She was so impressed with how low the bill was she didn't charge her for November...or...December...or January. If she keeps it up, she won't be charging her for the entire season. Thank God it hasn't been a brutally cold winter. That means she's been given these living arrangements for free the entire fall and winter, right into spring. Is that a God who sees and hears or what?
I asked her girls what the hardest thing was living so far away in this cabin. They are bored and hate being so far away from their friends. But then I read about Ishmael. "And God was with the boy, and he grew up. He lived in the wilderness and became an expert in the bow. He lived in the wilderness of Paran...." (Gen. 21:20) God was with Ishamel...in the wilderness. He ended up acquiring certain skills that made him an "expert" later in life, in the exact areas he would need that expertise. My friend's kids are in a wilderness of their own. What skills are they acquiring? Is God preparing them for what they will need later in their life?
I'm sure that Hagar would have rather been closer to civilization, for herself and for her child. But somehow she still found a wife for Ishmael. He became a father of many. There is no talk of Hagar finding herself a husband. She only had God to rely on. That's all my friend has, too. "Just " God, which surely is enough.
The wilderness is literally where my friend's family is living...sort of in the middle of nowhere. God seems to specialize in wilderness training. The Bible speaks of the wilderness all the time, especially with the Israelites wandering in it for 40 years! I don't love wilderness training. I prefer cushy life, for me and for my kids, for my friend and for her kids. But God sometimes takes us to "Wilderness School" like he did with Hagar and Ishmael and whether we like it or not, that's where we find ourselves, learning, being trained to become experts in whatever we are supposed to learn. The skills we are acquiring are for the future, for something we don't even know is coming. God is the God who sees and hears. He knows what He is doing.
Being a single mom wasn't easy in the Bible and it isn't easy now. Being a single mom in the wilderness is even harder. Being a single mom, with one child, in the wilderness, is one thing, but seven children in the wilderness? Brutal. The Bible doesn't gloss over the fact life doesn't always go as we hope. But, what it does show, is that even when it doesn't and we find ourselves as a single mom, out in the wilderness with our crying kids, that He meets us there...sometimes in the form of an angel, sometimes God Himself, sometimes a landlord who pays our bills, sometimes a spring of water. He hears us and tells us not to be afraid. Genesis 21:18 does not give us a formula for single parenting. God is very straightforward, however, and doesn't let us stay sad and pitiful. Instead He says, "Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand." We are supposed to pick ourselves up, pick up our kids, hold their little hands fast and trust Him for their future. That's where we start.
Sarah had just become a "believer" when Isaac was born. A believer in the Miracle-worker who could bring her a baby in her old age, but she wasn't fully sanctified yet and still could be quite nasty. She'd already treated Hagar very badly when Sarah found out Hagar was pregnant. Hagar ran away into the wilderness. Already pregnant, and a single mom-to-be, she was alone. But God found her there and encouraged her with a promise of a son, "I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude." Then, he also told her, "...because the Lord has listened to your affliction...." So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, "You are a God of seeing...Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me." (Gen. 16:11. 13)
Isn't that what a single mom needs to hear? That she is heard? That her affliction is not unnoticed? He is a God of seeing and He looks after her.
But, poor Hagar. Her troubles didn't stop there. Again, she gets booted out. Back into the wilderness, for the second time. I'm sure all single moms must feel like that is where they live most of the time. Later, after both Isaac and Ishmael are both older, Sarah, again, gets ticked off at Hagar. Ishmael was caught "laughing". Perhaps at Isaac? It isn't clear, but it sure made Sarah mad and she was determined to get rid of both of them. Unbelievably, God allows Hagar to be sent out into the wilderness...yet again.
This time, God doesn't reveal Himself to her until her skin of water is gone and she's put her son under a bush to die. "Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot, for she said, 'Let me not look on the death of the child.' And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept." (Ge. 21:16) How many times have I received a text from my single mom friend telling me how often she cries? Not only is God a God who sees, but He is also a God who hears. "And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, 'What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation.' Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water and gave the boy a drink." (Gen.21: 17, 18)
These verses encourage me that he not only hears the cries of the single mom, but also the cries of her children. As I watch my friend go through this struggle, I'm also seeing her kids' struggles, her kids' cries. I'm pretty helpless. I sometimes feel like I'm watching them under a bush with no water. I hear my friend's cries for her own children and I feel like a helpless observer...but then....there are stories where I hear God has heard her, heard her cries for her kids. This past weekend I asked her, "So, have you heard about the hydro bill yet?" She's been staying in a cabin all winter "for free". The owner of the cabin, who has never even met her, said the only condition was that she pay the hydro bill. All winter long, she's been keeping the heat at a low, low level. Not using the dryer, hanging all the clothes up in the basement to dry. Making all sorts of dramatic changes in their lifestyle so that she wouldn't be stuck with a huge hydro bill. But no bill would come. We were wondering if the owner was going to just surprise her with a big amount due at the end of the winter. Finally, she heard from the owner. She was so impressed with how low the bill was she didn't charge her for November...or...December...or January. If she keeps it up, she won't be charging her for the entire season. Thank God it hasn't been a brutally cold winter. That means she's been given these living arrangements for free the entire fall and winter, right into spring. Is that a God who sees and hears or what?
I asked her girls what the hardest thing was living so far away in this cabin. They are bored and hate being so far away from their friends. But then I read about Ishmael. "And God was with the boy, and he grew up. He lived in the wilderness and became an expert in the bow. He lived in the wilderness of Paran...." (Gen. 21:20) God was with Ishamel...in the wilderness. He ended up acquiring certain skills that made him an "expert" later in life, in the exact areas he would need that expertise. My friend's kids are in a wilderness of their own. What skills are they acquiring? Is God preparing them for what they will need later in their life?
I'm sure that Hagar would have rather been closer to civilization, for herself and for her child. But somehow she still found a wife for Ishmael. He became a father of many. There is no talk of Hagar finding herself a husband. She only had God to rely on. That's all my friend has, too. "Just " God, which surely is enough.
The wilderness is literally where my friend's family is living...sort of in the middle of nowhere. God seems to specialize in wilderness training. The Bible speaks of the wilderness all the time, especially with the Israelites wandering in it for 40 years! I don't love wilderness training. I prefer cushy life, for me and for my kids, for my friend and for her kids. But God sometimes takes us to "Wilderness School" like he did with Hagar and Ishmael and whether we like it or not, that's where we find ourselves, learning, being trained to become experts in whatever we are supposed to learn. The skills we are acquiring are for the future, for something we don't even know is coming. God is the God who sees and hears. He knows what He is doing.
Being a single mom wasn't easy in the Bible and it isn't easy now. Being a single mom in the wilderness is even harder. Being a single mom, with one child, in the wilderness, is one thing, but seven children in the wilderness? Brutal. The Bible doesn't gloss over the fact life doesn't always go as we hope. But, what it does show, is that even when it doesn't and we find ourselves as a single mom, out in the wilderness with our crying kids, that He meets us there...sometimes in the form of an angel, sometimes God Himself, sometimes a landlord who pays our bills, sometimes a spring of water. He hears us and tells us not to be afraid. Genesis 21:18 does not give us a formula for single parenting. God is very straightforward, however, and doesn't let us stay sad and pitiful. Instead He says, "Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand." We are supposed to pick ourselves up, pick up our kids, hold their little hands fast and trust Him for their future. That's where we start.
Tuesday, 21 February 2017
I'm a Rocker Chick
It turns out we ended up having a spontaneous date on Sunday night. First, the background story....My husband is a rocker at heart. Loves guitars, music, sound.....all the old bands had it the best apparently. He'll check in with his favourite bands once in awhile. He's been following one band for a while and tried all summer to get me to go last year, but there was always a conflict, like a wedding, or something like that. I wasn't that interested and could never justify the extra cost.
Then he found out that they were going to be back in town....this weekend. But their concert was sold out. So he checked out kijiji to see if any tickets were listed on-line. There were! O happy day! I still could have cared less. I didn't know any of their songs and I really didn't have much of an interest, didn't even know who they were, but he just kept asking and asking me! Again, I kept thinking to myself....extra cost, no interest...how do I justify it?
But then....I remembered a veteran homeschool mom who shared at a homeschool conference a year ago or so that her husband would once in awhile just want to do something fun or go out for dinner or bless her in some way and she would always say, "No......it costs too much money. We shouldn't go." And they wouldn't. She could always tell it disappointed her and eventually he just didn't ask anymore. It was one of her biggest regrets because she was really acting out of martyrdom more than anything. Deep down, I think she wanted to go, but she denied herself, and her husband, and her family, perhaps for the wrong reasons. She wished she'd said yes more. I also kept thinking about my husband who had worked all week, as well as all weekend long.....this could be something fun that he could look forward to. I would still have fun as we would be together. He could teach me about the music, the band, the sound, their instruments. He loves doing that! We would probably enjoy a bite to eat before, which is my favourite thing to do. It would also give me something to look forward to, PLUS we would just be together! That is always fun! So, the next time he came in with his, "What should we do" eyes. I said, "Let's go! Try to get tickets!" He nearly jumped out of his skin, "Really?!" He was so excited and for the next few hours did his best to try to snag some tickets. We decided we would make it work financially by denying ourselves all sorts of things like food and water or whatever cost money for the next few weeks so it wouldn't cost us too much. He ended up making a deal with a guy on-line, met him, picked up the tickets......and then I got a text, "Get your rocker chick clothes on!"
Off we went....I have to say...it was very fun. We had a great time hanging out with all sorts of old people who also loved this band (Big Wreck is the name of the band). The few young people who were there probably liked them as it is considered "Vintage"! So that makes it cool to like the old guys. I don't have an appreciation for good guitar playing, but this was amazing....they were unbelievably talented. Guitar solo after guitar solo....I don't know how they make their fingers do it. People sang along to every song. It was a beautiful venue so that made it feel a little classier. Although, it was hardly a "break" as we stood on our feet the whole time!
I think the moral of the story is, no regrets. Going to see this band made my husband so happy! We don't have to do everything that just makes me happy. Teaching me about the band, their history, their music, their style, their sound, made me further understand and appreciate my husband's interests. That made him happy, to know I care about things he cares about. Did I benefit? Of course! I had so much fun being with him. It doesn't really matter what we do, it's just fun being together! I didn't want to be like that vet mom who regretted saying no. I think my husband would have been so disappointed. And, again, deep down, my reasons for saying no would have been out of martyrdom as I really did want to go. I just wasn't sure how to justify the expense. Coming up with a way to make it work helped me say yes.
Our kids thought is was great. They see so much sadness around them all the time now in their friend's lives. Seeing their parents have fun and act like their 20 makes them feel confident in their parent's relationship. And, whoa, we were up till MIDNIGHT!!! Talk about crazy!? Ha! (Except that is crazy as I go to bed so early these days....) So Valentine's Day is not just about the 14th.....thinking about the other person, trying to keep love alive all year long....that's more what it should be about....
Then he found out that they were going to be back in town....this weekend. But their concert was sold out. So he checked out kijiji to see if any tickets were listed on-line. There were! O happy day! I still could have cared less. I didn't know any of their songs and I really didn't have much of an interest, didn't even know who they were, but he just kept asking and asking me! Again, I kept thinking to myself....extra cost, no interest...how do I justify it?
But then....I remembered a veteran homeschool mom who shared at a homeschool conference a year ago or so that her husband would once in awhile just want to do something fun or go out for dinner or bless her in some way and she would always say, "No......it costs too much money. We shouldn't go." And they wouldn't. She could always tell it disappointed her and eventually he just didn't ask anymore. It was one of her biggest regrets because she was really acting out of martyrdom more than anything. Deep down, I think she wanted to go, but she denied herself, and her husband, and her family, perhaps for the wrong reasons. She wished she'd said yes more. I also kept thinking about my husband who had worked all week, as well as all weekend long.....this could be something fun that he could look forward to. I would still have fun as we would be together. He could teach me about the music, the band, the sound, their instruments. He loves doing that! We would probably enjoy a bite to eat before, which is my favourite thing to do. It would also give me something to look forward to, PLUS we would just be together! That is always fun! So, the next time he came in with his, "What should we do" eyes. I said, "Let's go! Try to get tickets!" He nearly jumped out of his skin, "Really?!" He was so excited and for the next few hours did his best to try to snag some tickets. We decided we would make it work financially by denying ourselves all sorts of things like food and water or whatever cost money for the next few weeks so it wouldn't cost us too much. He ended up making a deal with a guy on-line, met him, picked up the tickets......and then I got a text, "Get your rocker chick clothes on!"
Off we went....I have to say...it was very fun. We had a great time hanging out with all sorts of old people who also loved this band (Big Wreck is the name of the band). The few young people who were there probably liked them as it is considered "Vintage"! So that makes it cool to like the old guys. I don't have an appreciation for good guitar playing, but this was amazing....they were unbelievably talented. Guitar solo after guitar solo....I don't know how they make their fingers do it. People sang along to every song. It was a beautiful venue so that made it feel a little classier. Although, it was hardly a "break" as we stood on our feet the whole time!
I think the moral of the story is, no regrets. Going to see this band made my husband so happy! We don't have to do everything that just makes me happy. Teaching me about the band, their history, their music, their style, their sound, made me further understand and appreciate my husband's interests. That made him happy, to know I care about things he cares about. Did I benefit? Of course! I had so much fun being with him. It doesn't really matter what we do, it's just fun being together! I didn't want to be like that vet mom who regretted saying no. I think my husband would have been so disappointed. And, again, deep down, my reasons for saying no would have been out of martyrdom as I really did want to go. I just wasn't sure how to justify the expense. Coming up with a way to make it work helped me say yes.
Our kids thought is was great. They see so much sadness around them all the time now in their friend's lives. Seeing their parents have fun and act like their 20 makes them feel confident in their parent's relationship. And, whoa, we were up till MIDNIGHT!!! Talk about crazy!? Ha! (Except that is crazy as I go to bed so early these days....) So Valentine's Day is not just about the 14th.....thinking about the other person, trying to keep love alive all year long....that's more what it should be about....
Wednesday, 15 February 2017
My Turn
We all know Valentine's Day is overrated. As women we set ourselves up for disappointment all the time. My husband can be haunted by expectations that I don't even know that I have until he doesn't meet them. Poor guy. This year I was determined to not make it a big deal as he is so busy at work and then at work again when he comes home. He's basically working 16 hour days non-stop for the next 6 weeks in order to get this contract done. He doesn't have a lot of time to think about Valentine's Day! But I had a plan anyway.
I told the kids they had to make us dinner. I even told them what I wanted them to make. Super easy. No prep really. We'd been given two awesome steaks for Christmas from my brother-in-law (who has his own meat business and sells steaks to the Keg...so they were good!) We were going to have "dinner out at home". I even did the barbecuing as our bbq is a little dangerous to use! All he had to do was walk in the door and sit down.
Smashed rosemary baked potatoes, caesar salad and steak....what more could a guy want? He loved his steak and I loved the fact my kids basically made the dinner (I helped a little!) They ate frozen pizza (which they loved!). Sorry....not enough steak to go around.
Earlier that week I'd read in an email from Sheila Wray Gregoire (the lady who I heard talk about marriage and intimacy) that as women, we need to do just that....take the burden off the men to always make Valentine's Day special. We can do it. For them. For a change. Why not? It didn't cause me any extra labour. It was a neat opportunity for my kids to shine and I think it showed them that as women we can be the romantic ones. I long for my girls to learn this just in case they marry someone who isn't the super romantic type. My husband actually can be very romantic....when he isn't falling asleep at dinner! He's just super exhausted right now!
Marriage is definitely about taking turns. It's my turn right now and I don't mind.
I told the kids they had to make us dinner. I even told them what I wanted them to make. Super easy. No prep really. We'd been given two awesome steaks for Christmas from my brother-in-law (who has his own meat business and sells steaks to the Keg...so they were good!) We were going to have "dinner out at home". I even did the barbecuing as our bbq is a little dangerous to use! All he had to do was walk in the door and sit down.
Smashed rosemary baked potatoes, caesar salad and steak....what more could a guy want? He loved his steak and I loved the fact my kids basically made the dinner (I helped a little!) They ate frozen pizza (which they loved!). Sorry....not enough steak to go around.
Earlier that week I'd read in an email from Sheila Wray Gregoire (the lady who I heard talk about marriage and intimacy) that as women, we need to do just that....take the burden off the men to always make Valentine's Day special. We can do it. For them. For a change. Why not? It didn't cause me any extra labour. It was a neat opportunity for my kids to shine and I think it showed them that as women we can be the romantic ones. I long for my girls to learn this just in case they marry someone who isn't the super romantic type. My husband actually can be very romantic....when he isn't falling asleep at dinner! He's just super exhausted right now!
Marriage is definitely about taking turns. It's my turn right now and I don't mind.
Tuesday, 14 February 2017
The Choice to be a Saint
I've wanted to read about Richard Wurmbrand for some time. I could never get my hands on any of his books, but then I went down to our church library and found that they had a couple of things he had written. Wurmbrand is the found of Voice of the Martyrs. He died in 2001. He's most famous for his book Tortured for Christ that explains how he was imprisoned for 14 years in Romania for his Christian beliefs, most of the time spent in solitary confinement.
While he was in prison he wrote many sermons and has since published those as well. The book I'm currently reading is called In the Face of Surrender, It's always so good to read from people who have truly suffered as it quickly puts into perspective what I think is suffering in my life. I soon realize it is nothing compared to what the underground church has gone through and is still going through around the world. Only someone like him can truly address it. People have to listen to him as he has lived real suffering. Listen to me? Not likely.
His insights are amazing. He tries to make it apply to those in any situation, not just those who are suffering in solitary confinement like he went through. He said, "But though God in His providence may have allowed me to pass through trials and tribulations, how I react to them is up to me." So simple, but so profound.
His time in jail was where he composed around 350 poems as well as his book of sermons. He compared himself to Paul the apostle who wrote 4 of his epistles while in jail. He commented that Paul's letters "contain many prayers, but not one for his release." He said out of all his own poems and sermons that he wrote, "not one shows a desire to be rid of my chains." Others who suffered in jail and wrote of their suffering also composed poems and songs. He wrote, they "were all full of the joy produced by the suffering for a glorious cause."
This gave me a lot to think about as that's what I do pray for A LOT. He continued, "The majority of our prayers are usually for the release from difficult situations. But why should I pray to be released from an unhappy marriage, from the brutality of a parent, from a child who breaks my heart, or from other miseries?" His challenge continued, "Concern for others drowns out your own troubles. Focus on God as the saints in prison do and you will know that heavenly peace comes from patient cross-bearing."
I almost had to stop reading. What he was suggesting was really not humanly possible, but perhaps that is my problem? I'm looking at it humanly speaking. He knows this is a difficult challenge, so he goes light on us. He says, "Deny yourself for a period the food you love most, or some luxury in clothing, and think of those who eat unbearable food and are in rags. Interrupt your sleep for prayer on behalf of those interrogated during the night. Give up some item of cosmetics for those who cannot even wash. Renounce an hour of television for those who for years have been in solitary confinement in underground cells and see nothing. Try to be silent for a day in order to empathize with the solitary, who cannot speak to anyone for years. Sacrifice your complaining and grumbling for one day. Take time from other preoccupations to pray for the persecuted."
The last challenge is probably the hardest - no complaining or grumbling???? Forget it! I love to complain and grumble! Oh, I see...I really do love to complain and grumble! How awful! It's like I said, he quickly puts into perspective how pathetic our little situations are compared to those around the world.
Am I strong enough to be like Paul and not pray for release from difficulties? I'm not sure. Can I embrace my challenges and be so full of the joy of the Lord that I instead ask for more suffering in order to be more like Christ? Well......I sure have a lot of excuses why I can't. So, I'll start with baby steps. I'll try to complain and grumble less. I'll be as thankful as I can for where I find myself as there is so much to be thankful for. I'll stop looking at my situation and start praying for those who are in truly difficult situations. I think I would be lying if I didn't still want release and complete financial freedom, but that may not be what God wants for me.
Like I said, a real challenge. The title of that chapter was "A Choice to be a Saint." I have to choose.
While he was in prison he wrote many sermons and has since published those as well. The book I'm currently reading is called In the Face of Surrender, It's always so good to read from people who have truly suffered as it quickly puts into perspective what I think is suffering in my life. I soon realize it is nothing compared to what the underground church has gone through and is still going through around the world. Only someone like him can truly address it. People have to listen to him as he has lived real suffering. Listen to me? Not likely.
His insights are amazing. He tries to make it apply to those in any situation, not just those who are suffering in solitary confinement like he went through. He said, "But though God in His providence may have allowed me to pass through trials and tribulations, how I react to them is up to me." So simple, but so profound.
His time in jail was where he composed around 350 poems as well as his book of sermons. He compared himself to Paul the apostle who wrote 4 of his epistles while in jail. He commented that Paul's letters "contain many prayers, but not one for his release." He said out of all his own poems and sermons that he wrote, "not one shows a desire to be rid of my chains." Others who suffered in jail and wrote of their suffering also composed poems and songs. He wrote, they "were all full of the joy produced by the suffering for a glorious cause."
This gave me a lot to think about as that's what I do pray for A LOT. He continued, "The majority of our prayers are usually for the release from difficult situations. But why should I pray to be released from an unhappy marriage, from the brutality of a parent, from a child who breaks my heart, or from other miseries?" His challenge continued, "Concern for others drowns out your own troubles. Focus on God as the saints in prison do and you will know that heavenly peace comes from patient cross-bearing."
I almost had to stop reading. What he was suggesting was really not humanly possible, but perhaps that is my problem? I'm looking at it humanly speaking. He knows this is a difficult challenge, so he goes light on us. He says, "Deny yourself for a period the food you love most, or some luxury in clothing, and think of those who eat unbearable food and are in rags. Interrupt your sleep for prayer on behalf of those interrogated during the night. Give up some item of cosmetics for those who cannot even wash. Renounce an hour of television for those who for years have been in solitary confinement in underground cells and see nothing. Try to be silent for a day in order to empathize with the solitary, who cannot speak to anyone for years. Sacrifice your complaining and grumbling for one day. Take time from other preoccupations to pray for the persecuted."
The last challenge is probably the hardest - no complaining or grumbling???? Forget it! I love to complain and grumble! Oh, I see...I really do love to complain and grumble! How awful! It's like I said, he quickly puts into perspective how pathetic our little situations are compared to those around the world.
Am I strong enough to be like Paul and not pray for release from difficulties? I'm not sure. Can I embrace my challenges and be so full of the joy of the Lord that I instead ask for more suffering in order to be more like Christ? Well......I sure have a lot of excuses why I can't. So, I'll start with baby steps. I'll try to complain and grumble less. I'll be as thankful as I can for where I find myself as there is so much to be thankful for. I'll stop looking at my situation and start praying for those who are in truly difficult situations. I think I would be lying if I didn't still want release and complete financial freedom, but that may not be what God wants for me.
Like I said, a real challenge. The title of that chapter was "A Choice to be a Saint." I have to choose.
Monday, 13 February 2017
Who is in our Boat?
A small hiatus again with the usual computer issues.....that's the life with a lap top and tons of kids using it.
We had a minor emergency on Thursday. Well, two....but only one of them needed stitches. I asked the Lord when my first son came out, "Why a boy?! I only know how to deal with girls!" Then, when my second boy arrived, same question, "Why another boy?! I only know how to deal with girls!" Then.....3 more boys.....I figured I was supposed to be a mother of boys and girls by that point......However....I knew it was going to mean trips to the emergency ward.....
So, my oldest son is into weapons of all kinds (need I say more?). He collects every kind of knife you can get, swords, axes, arrows.....My husband already did a number on his hand with his bow a little over a year ago. Shouldn't we learn from our mistakes? But no, we continue to collect more.
With his own money, he recently purchased a higher grade set of throwing knives. We found a huge stump for a target and away he went. How can that be dangerous?! But on Thursday, it was very cold out and the stump of wood was frozen solid. He threw the knife and it bounced back at him, nicking him on the shin quite deeply. I couldn't and wouldn't look at it. He quickly bandaged himself up and waited until Dad came home to look at it a little while later. I had to wait for him anyway as I had no car until then. One look said, "Get in the car...we're going to the hospital."
Fortunately it was only a couple of stitches. Earlier on that day he'd been holding the same knife that cut his leg, tossing it up and catching it in his room. One toss didn't go so well and it landed on his thumb, slicing it also! Again, shouldn't we learn by now!? I did manage to look at that one. I still had no car so we just bandaged him up. He should come away with a couple of cool scars. If my girls have boys of their own someday, I'll try to be super supportive, watching all their girls while they head off to emerg with their boys!!!!! (Who am I kidding....my girl was the one who broke her arm!) Life of a mom, I guess......sure makes life exciting!
Yet, I'm reminded from Mark 4 that we will have storms in our life always. Little ones, like getting stitches, to big ones that can be much more serious. Yet, as the pastor said yesterday, Jesus is in the boat with us. The story goes that the disciples took Jesus "just as he was" with them in their boat at his request, "Let us go across to the other side." Surely he knew what was ahead. "And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was filling." But he was "asleep on the cushion". I'm sure they weren't too impressed as they had to wake him up. "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" He doesn't even respond to their question. He just quiets the storm with three words, "Peace! Be still!" But then He says to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" They asked themselves after that, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?"
So many things strike me in this story. I had never noticed that they weren't the only boat out on the water that day. It said, "And other boats were with him." It so often seems that when we are in a storm, no one else is, and it can make you feel alone. It seems like everyone else is home safe and sound, but that simply isn't the case. There are other "boats" out there beside us as we go through out storm, even if we can't see them for the wind and waves. Even if others in our lives are not in major life traumas, everyone does go through storms of all kinds. We are never alone in our storms. That can help us to realize we don't have to listen to the lie, "No, it's just you. No one else has difficulties." We all have struggles, big and small.
The disciples fear is something I can relate to, though I have made huge progress in this area. I really struggled for awhile with this. I see Jesus in my boat, just like they did and I get frustrated with him, too, wanting to wake him up, "Don't you care?!" That question is so real. I love that it is included in the Bible. They really thought He didn't care, even though they'd seen so many miracles already. I have seen many miracles, too. How can I possibly question if God cares about me? His rebuke reveals their faithlessness and mine at times. The question is, "Who is in the boat?" Don't we know yet who is in our boat with us? The same God who created the whole universe is in our boat. We have to stop and realize Who is in our boat, in our storm, with us....all along. Does He appear to be sleeping, not caring? That's what we see and think, but He's fully there, able to calm our storm with a word.
So, I have to ask today, "Why be so afraid? Ever?" Life's storms are such a great challenge to deepen our weak faith. Jesus allowed the storm to come up. He could have stopped it before it even started, but He didn't. Last night we had another huge windstorm. If I had been on a boat, it would have no doubt been like the one the disciples went through. I'm grateful for the many times I don't even know that He's protecting me from a greater storm.
We had a minor emergency on Thursday. Well, two....but only one of them needed stitches. I asked the Lord when my first son came out, "Why a boy?! I only know how to deal with girls!" Then, when my second boy arrived, same question, "Why another boy?! I only know how to deal with girls!" Then.....3 more boys.....I figured I was supposed to be a mother of boys and girls by that point......However....I knew it was going to mean trips to the emergency ward.....
So, my oldest son is into weapons of all kinds (need I say more?). He collects every kind of knife you can get, swords, axes, arrows.....My husband already did a number on his hand with his bow a little over a year ago. Shouldn't we learn from our mistakes? But no, we continue to collect more.
With his own money, he recently purchased a higher grade set of throwing knives. We found a huge stump for a target and away he went. How can that be dangerous?! But on Thursday, it was very cold out and the stump of wood was frozen solid. He threw the knife and it bounced back at him, nicking him on the shin quite deeply. I couldn't and wouldn't look at it. He quickly bandaged himself up and waited until Dad came home to look at it a little while later. I had to wait for him anyway as I had no car until then. One look said, "Get in the car...we're going to the hospital."
Fortunately it was only a couple of stitches. Earlier on that day he'd been holding the same knife that cut his leg, tossing it up and catching it in his room. One toss didn't go so well and it landed on his thumb, slicing it also! Again, shouldn't we learn by now!? I did manage to look at that one. I still had no car so we just bandaged him up. He should come away with a couple of cool scars. If my girls have boys of their own someday, I'll try to be super supportive, watching all their girls while they head off to emerg with their boys!!!!! (Who am I kidding....my girl was the one who broke her arm!) Life of a mom, I guess......sure makes life exciting!
Yet, I'm reminded from Mark 4 that we will have storms in our life always. Little ones, like getting stitches, to big ones that can be much more serious. Yet, as the pastor said yesterday, Jesus is in the boat with us. The story goes that the disciples took Jesus "just as he was" with them in their boat at his request, "Let us go across to the other side." Surely he knew what was ahead. "And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was filling." But he was "asleep on the cushion". I'm sure they weren't too impressed as they had to wake him up. "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" He doesn't even respond to their question. He just quiets the storm with three words, "Peace! Be still!" But then He says to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" They asked themselves after that, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?"
So many things strike me in this story. I had never noticed that they weren't the only boat out on the water that day. It said, "And other boats were with him." It so often seems that when we are in a storm, no one else is, and it can make you feel alone. It seems like everyone else is home safe and sound, but that simply isn't the case. There are other "boats" out there beside us as we go through out storm, even if we can't see them for the wind and waves. Even if others in our lives are not in major life traumas, everyone does go through storms of all kinds. We are never alone in our storms. That can help us to realize we don't have to listen to the lie, "No, it's just you. No one else has difficulties." We all have struggles, big and small.
The disciples fear is something I can relate to, though I have made huge progress in this area. I really struggled for awhile with this. I see Jesus in my boat, just like they did and I get frustrated with him, too, wanting to wake him up, "Don't you care?!" That question is so real. I love that it is included in the Bible. They really thought He didn't care, even though they'd seen so many miracles already. I have seen many miracles, too. How can I possibly question if God cares about me? His rebuke reveals their faithlessness and mine at times. The question is, "Who is in the boat?" Don't we know yet who is in our boat with us? The same God who created the whole universe is in our boat. We have to stop and realize Who is in our boat, in our storm, with us....all along. Does He appear to be sleeping, not caring? That's what we see and think, but He's fully there, able to calm our storm with a word.
So, I have to ask today, "Why be so afraid? Ever?" Life's storms are such a great challenge to deepen our weak faith. Jesus allowed the storm to come up. He could have stopped it before it even started, but He didn't. Last night we had another huge windstorm. If I had been on a boat, it would have no doubt been like the one the disciples went through. I'm grateful for the many times I don't even know that He's protecting me from a greater storm.
Wednesday, 8 February 2017
Spiritual Healing First
Jehovah Rapha - the God who heals. This has to be one of my favourite names of God. We're going through the names of God in a series at church and this was the name we learned more about on Sunday. My friend also loves this name and named her farm "Rafa Place" (I suppose the English spelling of it). I love that she did that as it signifies all the healing that has gone on in her life. She never wants to forget and she wants others to know.
Many Scriptures were used to show how God is a healer, but the one I loved the most was the one in Mark 2 about the healing of the paralytic. This has to be the craziest story. There was no room in the house where he was preaching, so, in the most amazingly creative way, these 4 friends of the paraylzed man, cut a hole through the roof (how they did that without disturbing the entire event is amazing in itself). Then, they lowered him down right in front of Jesus. But Jesus doesn't heal him. At least not right away. It's recorded that Jesus noticed not the man, but the faith of his friends. Maybe the man had lost his faith and had given up hope. Maybe that's why the friends had to step in and take such desperate measures. It says nothing of the faith of the paralyzed man. How we all need to be friends like that and pray that God gives us people in our lives that will step in and help us when we have no faith!
Next, Jesus shocks the crowd....by not healing him. At least not physically. Jesus said, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Ok. That's not actually why we brought him. Uh, a healing, please? This is where the pastor said, "Isn't this what we do all the time? We beg God for a healing of our disease or our marriages or whatever it is we need healed, but God says, 'Your sins are forgiven'." That really struck me. God is more concerned with our spiritual healing than our physical healing. I immediately thought of the prayer we've prayed for many years. Heal our debt. Make it all better. No, make it go away. Yeah, make it go away, so I don't have any worries in life. But God says, "Your sins are forgiven." God has been more concerned with all the spiritual lessons we've needed to learn. He absolutely could have healed our debt and made it all go away the second we started to pray, but He knew we needed healing in other areas of our life first. I need to be so grateful that He knows what is best for me. One day, I could be the richest person on earth, but it wouldn't matter...eventually I will die and then I have an eternity ahead of me. I would rather stay in debt and learn all the lessons He wants me to learn than have no debt, but be spiritually corrupt.
However, the story doesn't end there. Jesus then knows the thoughts of the scribes around him, "questioning in their hearts, 'Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God Alone?'" In order to show them that He had authority to forgive sins, "he said to the paralytic, 'I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.'" The man was instantly healed and "all were amazed and glorified God saying, 'We never saw anything like this!'" This gives me hope that one day, God may see fit to heal us in the way we hope. Perhaps once we have learned the lessons we need to learn, but I have a feeling if He does do this it will be so amazing, in such a way that all will say, "We never saw anything like this!" That is definitely my hope and prayer. In the meantime, I am grateful that God has a plan for my life and that He is more concerned about my eternal soul than my temporal life. I have to rest in that knowledge. He is still answering my prayers and has been all along, just not in the way I thought.
Many Scriptures were used to show how God is a healer, but the one I loved the most was the one in Mark 2 about the healing of the paralytic. This has to be the craziest story. There was no room in the house where he was preaching, so, in the most amazingly creative way, these 4 friends of the paraylzed man, cut a hole through the roof (how they did that without disturbing the entire event is amazing in itself). Then, they lowered him down right in front of Jesus. But Jesus doesn't heal him. At least not right away. It's recorded that Jesus noticed not the man, but the faith of his friends. Maybe the man had lost his faith and had given up hope. Maybe that's why the friends had to step in and take such desperate measures. It says nothing of the faith of the paralyzed man. How we all need to be friends like that and pray that God gives us people in our lives that will step in and help us when we have no faith!
Next, Jesus shocks the crowd....by not healing him. At least not physically. Jesus said, "Son, your sins are forgiven." Ok. That's not actually why we brought him. Uh, a healing, please? This is where the pastor said, "Isn't this what we do all the time? We beg God for a healing of our disease or our marriages or whatever it is we need healed, but God says, 'Your sins are forgiven'." That really struck me. God is more concerned with our spiritual healing than our physical healing. I immediately thought of the prayer we've prayed for many years. Heal our debt. Make it all better. No, make it go away. Yeah, make it go away, so I don't have any worries in life. But God says, "Your sins are forgiven." God has been more concerned with all the spiritual lessons we've needed to learn. He absolutely could have healed our debt and made it all go away the second we started to pray, but He knew we needed healing in other areas of our life first. I need to be so grateful that He knows what is best for me. One day, I could be the richest person on earth, but it wouldn't matter...eventually I will die and then I have an eternity ahead of me. I would rather stay in debt and learn all the lessons He wants me to learn than have no debt, but be spiritually corrupt.
However, the story doesn't end there. Jesus then knows the thoughts of the scribes around him, "questioning in their hearts, 'Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God Alone?'" In order to show them that He had authority to forgive sins, "he said to the paralytic, 'I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.'" The man was instantly healed and "all were amazed and glorified God saying, 'We never saw anything like this!'" This gives me hope that one day, God may see fit to heal us in the way we hope. Perhaps once we have learned the lessons we need to learn, but I have a feeling if He does do this it will be so amazing, in such a way that all will say, "We never saw anything like this!" That is definitely my hope and prayer. In the meantime, I am grateful that God has a plan for my life and that He is more concerned about my eternal soul than my temporal life. I have to rest in that knowledge. He is still answering my prayers and has been all along, just not in the way I thought.
Monday, 6 February 2017
Parenting Teamwork
If, somehow, my son makes it into some sort of post-secondary school, I will make sure my husband gets all the credit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I taught him how to read and write. I suppose that counts for something, but what I realized over and over as we created his transcripts and filled in application forms, was that any success he achieves has almost everything to do with the way RM supported my son's many interests and helped him to pursue them. A few examples.....
Just living on the farm, for one. We basically moved here just for my oldest son. Yes, we knew it would benefit the rest of our children, but my oldest son was the one who had an extreme love for animals and all things biological, from plants to bugs to ponds...you name it, anything alive that moved or breathed, he was fascinated by them and we just couldn't fulfill all of his many naturalist interests in the city. So we made a plan and moved!
Once we were here, the animals followed shortly after (actually they came before we owned the farm with fish and hamsters back in the city). My husband was willing to drive far distances to help him get the dog of his dreams and even helped him research which was the best breed for a family like ours. Then, even chickens showed up in our garage right before moving to the farm. My son was expected to oversee that. That has now grown into full-out managing all things farm from the cows to the horses, pigs, dogs, taking in hay, pruning the grapes, weeding the garden in the summer.....he does it all alongside his faithful brother.
Somewhere in the process he discovered he had an interest in bees. Crazy. I was not about to help him with that. But my husband jumped on it. Out they went, two hours or more away, to buy a "case of bees"! My husband knew this could only help him. He taught him how to build the hives and let him go to it. This was a big financial investment, but so worth it, as now he has 4 hives of bees and we get honey every year. On top of that, he's been blessed to work alongside another man who is a senior beekeeper, so he's learning the ropes with him...I just see the Lord in everything he does, guiding him, making a path for him, directing his steps.
Later, when he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to be a vet, I heard of a great opportunity at a clinic nearby where a friend I knew worked. My husband had to jump through major hoops contacting all the right people to make sure it was recognized as an official co-op. Again, financial sacrifice was involved, as one of us had to drive 2 hours a day to get him where he needed to go....lots of gas, lots of time....but it was one of the greatest experiences of his life and really reaffirmed his love for animals and working in that kind of environment.
Most recently, he bought another dog. For years he'd been researching female collies, dog breeding, etc. I thought, really? We don't have enough animals on the farm? But my husband said, "Sure. Let's go." Off they went....this time over 4 hours away. This just isn't time my husband has, but he went. Dog breeding followed shortly after with no success, but that didn't matter to my husband as that's part of the process of learning and running a business...it just doesn't always go as planned. He'll hopefully have success with puppies soon, but either way, he's learned so much.
We didn't watch the Superbowl, but I read a few highlights this morning. One thing I heard Tom Brady say was how grateful he was to his dad and his ailing mom for all their support. My son is not a star quarterback, but he definitely has star potential in his future. I really think it has everything to do with how his dad has been truly the greatest supporter of every venture he's ever taken on, any interest he's ever had. Tom Brady's dad was probably like that, too, driving him to every game, buying all the expensive football equipment, sacrificing time, money.....I know, of course, that it takes two. Even though I joke that my job is just to keep everyone alive and somewhat clean, I realize my job it to be supportive of every crazy decision that gets made around here! I'm so grateful that this is a two-person job and that I have a husband who has been willing to provide what I cannot as sometimes it feels like my head is usually in a washing machine or a sink. However, if I do get any credit, I hope it's as "cheerleader of the year". I would never have gotten bees or the amount of dogs we have. I actually don't really love animals! The kittens are cute and I like looking at the horses, but that's about it! But I'm a great cheerleader....! Once the crazy decisions are made and the large numbers of animals are actually on the farm, then I am excited and am behind whatever my kids do....100%. Teamwork. Co-parenting. Love it.
Just living on the farm, for one. We basically moved here just for my oldest son. Yes, we knew it would benefit the rest of our children, but my oldest son was the one who had an extreme love for animals and all things biological, from plants to bugs to ponds...you name it, anything alive that moved or breathed, he was fascinated by them and we just couldn't fulfill all of his many naturalist interests in the city. So we made a plan and moved!
Once we were here, the animals followed shortly after (actually they came before we owned the farm with fish and hamsters back in the city). My husband was willing to drive far distances to help him get the dog of his dreams and even helped him research which was the best breed for a family like ours. Then, even chickens showed up in our garage right before moving to the farm. My son was expected to oversee that. That has now grown into full-out managing all things farm from the cows to the horses, pigs, dogs, taking in hay, pruning the grapes, weeding the garden in the summer.....he does it all alongside his faithful brother.
Somewhere in the process he discovered he had an interest in bees. Crazy. I was not about to help him with that. But my husband jumped on it. Out they went, two hours or more away, to buy a "case of bees"! My husband knew this could only help him. He taught him how to build the hives and let him go to it. This was a big financial investment, but so worth it, as now he has 4 hives of bees and we get honey every year. On top of that, he's been blessed to work alongside another man who is a senior beekeeper, so he's learning the ropes with him...I just see the Lord in everything he does, guiding him, making a path for him, directing his steps.
Later, when he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to be a vet, I heard of a great opportunity at a clinic nearby where a friend I knew worked. My husband had to jump through major hoops contacting all the right people to make sure it was recognized as an official co-op. Again, financial sacrifice was involved, as one of us had to drive 2 hours a day to get him where he needed to go....lots of gas, lots of time....but it was one of the greatest experiences of his life and really reaffirmed his love for animals and working in that kind of environment.
Most recently, he bought another dog. For years he'd been researching female collies, dog breeding, etc. I thought, really? We don't have enough animals on the farm? But my husband said, "Sure. Let's go." Off they went....this time over 4 hours away. This just isn't time my husband has, but he went. Dog breeding followed shortly after with no success, but that didn't matter to my husband as that's part of the process of learning and running a business...it just doesn't always go as planned. He'll hopefully have success with puppies soon, but either way, he's learned so much.
We didn't watch the Superbowl, but I read a few highlights this morning. One thing I heard Tom Brady say was how grateful he was to his dad and his ailing mom for all their support. My son is not a star quarterback, but he definitely has star potential in his future. I really think it has everything to do with how his dad has been truly the greatest supporter of every venture he's ever taken on, any interest he's ever had. Tom Brady's dad was probably like that, too, driving him to every game, buying all the expensive football equipment, sacrificing time, money.....I know, of course, that it takes two. Even though I joke that my job is just to keep everyone alive and somewhat clean, I realize my job it to be supportive of every crazy decision that gets made around here! I'm so grateful that this is a two-person job and that I have a husband who has been willing to provide what I cannot as sometimes it feels like my head is usually in a washing machine or a sink. However, if I do get any credit, I hope it's as "cheerleader of the year". I would never have gotten bees or the amount of dogs we have. I actually don't really love animals! The kittens are cute and I like looking at the horses, but that's about it! But I'm a great cheerleader....! Once the crazy decisions are made and the large numbers of animals are actually on the farm, then I am excited and am behind whatever my kids do....100%. Teamwork. Co-parenting. Love it.
Friday, 3 February 2017
Establish the Work of Our Hands
What a different day yesterday was....a little reinforcement by Dad, up early, more reinforcement by Dad.....ha.....things go amazingly smoother with early rising when I want the kids to and when they follow the schedule I've made not the one they want. I always tell them, "That's why you have a mommy. If you didn't have a mommy, then you would lie in bed, all day or watch t.v. all day or eat ice-cream all day.....get it?" So today, back at it....
Ps. 90 writes how I feel sometimes, that it feels like it is all in vain, staying home, homeschooling....for what? "....we bring our years to an end like a sigh....The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away....." Of course, anyone could look at their life and think that way. The difference is a believer has an eternal perspective. It is not in vain, even if we feel like that sometimes. We cannot act on our feelings. And the very next verse says how we should behave instead, "So, teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Even if we have a short life or it seems like it is all in vain, it is not. So we must do what we can with the short time that we have...no matter what.
And, just to reinforce this, the Psalmist (which my Bible indicates it was Moses who wrote Ps. 90) says, "Let the favour of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands, yes, establish the work of our hands!" I always use that verse as an encouragement to other moms when I give the seminars on chores and scheduling that we must cry out to the Lord to bless all the work we do. Only He can do that.
In light of that, last night I feel God did just that...we were able to successfully send off my son's final transcript to the schools he's applied to. What a process that was, but now we leave it in God's hands, to establish the work of our hands. It was actually a really neat process as it required that we go through his entire high school career here at home and when you do that you can't help but reflect on every single thing you've ever done together or what you've watched him do on his own or initiatives he's taken that were completely his with no input from me....I was amazed (and dare I say, proud?) of all that my son has done. I had been worried, but that is always because I'm looking at things through the lens of my highschool experience. His experience is so different from mine. It's like comparing apples to oranges, but because it's all I know I can't help it. Once I stopped the comparing and just looked at him and him alone, suddenly I saw I shouldn't have ever been concerned. He's actually done more than the high school diploma required of him! We had to cut courses out as he had too many! Was he sitting in a desk all the time finishing paperwork? No, but he was starting businesses, working alongside his dad's businesses, volunteering way more than the required 40 hours for high school, getting life experience you just don't get typically get, and all the while completing the necessary book work.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but now I'm actually glad we had to hand-make his transcript, the very thing I dreaded and wished I never had to do, because it has been so reaffirming of the path we chose for him and now that's it done, the next child will be a walk in the park!
What will his path be for the fall? I don't know, but I keep the anxious thoughts at bay with Scripture, still from Ps. 90, "Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children." I know my son's times are in His hands.
Ps. 90 writes how I feel sometimes, that it feels like it is all in vain, staying home, homeschooling....for what? "....we bring our years to an end like a sigh....The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away....." Of course, anyone could look at their life and think that way. The difference is a believer has an eternal perspective. It is not in vain, even if we feel like that sometimes. We cannot act on our feelings. And the very next verse says how we should behave instead, "So, teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Even if we have a short life or it seems like it is all in vain, it is not. So we must do what we can with the short time that we have...no matter what.
And, just to reinforce this, the Psalmist (which my Bible indicates it was Moses who wrote Ps. 90) says, "Let the favour of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands, yes, establish the work of our hands!" I always use that verse as an encouragement to other moms when I give the seminars on chores and scheduling that we must cry out to the Lord to bless all the work we do. Only He can do that.
In light of that, last night I feel God did just that...we were able to successfully send off my son's final transcript to the schools he's applied to. What a process that was, but now we leave it in God's hands, to establish the work of our hands. It was actually a really neat process as it required that we go through his entire high school career here at home and when you do that you can't help but reflect on every single thing you've ever done together or what you've watched him do on his own or initiatives he's taken that were completely his with no input from me....I was amazed (and dare I say, proud?) of all that my son has done. I had been worried, but that is always because I'm looking at things through the lens of my highschool experience. His experience is so different from mine. It's like comparing apples to oranges, but because it's all I know I can't help it. Once I stopped the comparing and just looked at him and him alone, suddenly I saw I shouldn't have ever been concerned. He's actually done more than the high school diploma required of him! We had to cut courses out as he had too many! Was he sitting in a desk all the time finishing paperwork? No, but he was starting businesses, working alongside his dad's businesses, volunteering way more than the required 40 hours for high school, getting life experience you just don't get typically get, and all the while completing the necessary book work.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but now I'm actually glad we had to hand-make his transcript, the very thing I dreaded and wished I never had to do, because it has been so reaffirming of the path we chose for him and now that's it done, the next child will be a walk in the park!
What will his path be for the fall? I don't know, but I keep the anxious thoughts at bay with Scripture, still from Ps. 90, "Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children." I know my son's times are in His hands.
Thursday, 2 February 2017
Depression in the Psalms
Sometimes I read the Psalms and they are so uplifting, but there are other Psalms I just want to skip over as they are so depressing. However, the other day when I was in the car I heard a quick message on depression and how it is so debilitating. The Christian counsellor was a guest on someone's show and he was giving advice on how to work through depression as well as how to help those we know who are depressed.
The next day I was reading Psalm 88, which has to be one of the most depressing Psalms. Even when the psalmist says he cries out to the Lord, the psalm still ends on "my companions have become darkness". So not a happy uplifting message. Yet, even in that, there is some comfort to know that God allowed that darker Psalm to be in the Bible. Why? Perhaps so we would know that depression can be a real issue for so many.
Mental health is talked about all the time lately, but mostly because people who have suffered can finally be validated as they've been ignored and swept under the rug for so long. No one wants to admit they suffer in this area as it makes them appear weak perhaps? Yet, God looks down and includes a Psalm like this to show He knows and He cares.
The Psalmist cries out "day and night" before God, for his soul is "full of troubles". He is "counted among those who go down to the pit", who "has no strength", "like one set loose among the dead, like those whom you remember no more...You have put me in the depths of the pit; in the regions dark and deep....you overwhelm me with all your waves...I am shut in so that I cannot escape; my eyes grows dim through sorrow...."
These are verses that clearly reflect a person who is suffering. I want to dive into the Word and help the writer myself! I pray that somehow he found help and encouragement through His faith in God! I really don't question too much why God allows these times of darkness anymore. This is partly because when we've gone through dark times, it just makes the light that much better and brighter. Having gone through these periods in my life has made me appreciate the darkness as it has become the time when my faith has grown the most. However, and this was what the counsellor said, as long as I kept crying out to the Lord. That was key. Even the psalmist seems to know this, "But I, O Lord, cry out to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you." Though it was perhaps his darkest time, he kept crying out and kept crying out. That was what kept me going as well. I woke up early for days and days, months and months, and would meet with God, crying out to Him for His salvation and He met me there. He got me through dark time after dark time. And I made it! I found myself out of the "pit". The "dreadful assaults" that longed to "destroy me" were lifted.
The counsellor's other advice to those in our life was to be the friend that is a pain in the, uh, butt. When we see our friend struggle, don't let them stay there, he said. Be in their face, get them over for dinner, bring them dinner, take them for a walk, whatever it takes, don't let them stay in the pit...we can be part of their healing. We don't have to deny that they are in darkness and pretend it isn't real. Darkness is real. But we can be part of the solution and help bring them into the light.
Right now homeschooling is the hardest thing I've ever done. I have threatened to quit so many times in the last few weeks. Certain children, who shall remain nameless, but are in the younger set with blonde hair (ha!), are on a crash course to being put at the end of the driveway......long term. I'm not happy about it and was sitting there at the table last night with tears in my eyes saying, "What am I going to do?!" to my husband. Now that he's not around anymore, I have no back up, no principal's office to send them to. I know it was probably hard with the older four, but I don't remember it being this hard. I also had more mobility when the older four were just that...only 4 of them. Now, I am much less able to scoot around. Half the time I don't have a car and when I do, I can't even take all the kids! So, there I was, sinking into a pit, ready to throw in the towel. Was I outright depressed, perhaps not, but I was sure frustrated and discouraged.
But then, it came to me...totally out of the blue, this awesome brainwave, right then and there, in the middle of me singing the blues at the dinner table. Instead of seeing my situation as depressing, suddenly I saw it as an opportunity. I had 4 younger children needing a break from me and me needing a break from them. And I had 4 capable older children who could be just that - 4 new teachers. So, we came up with a plan, all in a matter of minutes. Starting next week, I've asked my older 4 to each take an afternoon. I will teach all the "book work" still in the morning (which has been the challenge) and each afternoon one of my older kids will teach one of the "electives" like sewing, history, geography, science. If they don't do their book work in the morning, no fun school with the older siblings and the wrath of Dad to look forward to when he comes home. The older ones seemed up for it and I was thrilled to think I had "supply" teachers living in my house all along! Will it cut into their school? Maybe, but at the same time, it will just reinforce what they are learning. On the Friday, my husband offered to teach them something as well related to the house or a project around here. Yeah! I was slowly crawling out of the pit.....I had hope again that my kids wouldn't hate school and that I wouldn't dislike teaching them. I had cried out and once again, God had met me.
The Christian life is just not a walk in the park, it's that simple. I jump in and out of the pit all the time. But what keeps me going and from throwing in the towel is the simple effort of crying out....all the time....Sometimes I get a quick answer like I did last night. Other times, it is a long process, which it has been with this debt-termination goal....just not happening fast....yet one day, one day, there will be an answer.
The next day I was reading Psalm 88, which has to be one of the most depressing Psalms. Even when the psalmist says he cries out to the Lord, the psalm still ends on "my companions have become darkness". So not a happy uplifting message. Yet, even in that, there is some comfort to know that God allowed that darker Psalm to be in the Bible. Why? Perhaps so we would know that depression can be a real issue for so many.
Mental health is talked about all the time lately, but mostly because people who have suffered can finally be validated as they've been ignored and swept under the rug for so long. No one wants to admit they suffer in this area as it makes them appear weak perhaps? Yet, God looks down and includes a Psalm like this to show He knows and He cares.
The Psalmist cries out "day and night" before God, for his soul is "full of troubles". He is "counted among those who go down to the pit", who "has no strength", "like one set loose among the dead, like those whom you remember no more...You have put me in the depths of the pit; in the regions dark and deep....you overwhelm me with all your waves...I am shut in so that I cannot escape; my eyes grows dim through sorrow...."
These are verses that clearly reflect a person who is suffering. I want to dive into the Word and help the writer myself! I pray that somehow he found help and encouragement through His faith in God! I really don't question too much why God allows these times of darkness anymore. This is partly because when we've gone through dark times, it just makes the light that much better and brighter. Having gone through these periods in my life has made me appreciate the darkness as it has become the time when my faith has grown the most. However, and this was what the counsellor said, as long as I kept crying out to the Lord. That was key. Even the psalmist seems to know this, "But I, O Lord, cry out to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you." Though it was perhaps his darkest time, he kept crying out and kept crying out. That was what kept me going as well. I woke up early for days and days, months and months, and would meet with God, crying out to Him for His salvation and He met me there. He got me through dark time after dark time. And I made it! I found myself out of the "pit". The "dreadful assaults" that longed to "destroy me" were lifted.
The counsellor's other advice to those in our life was to be the friend that is a pain in the, uh, butt. When we see our friend struggle, don't let them stay there, he said. Be in their face, get them over for dinner, bring them dinner, take them for a walk, whatever it takes, don't let them stay in the pit...we can be part of their healing. We don't have to deny that they are in darkness and pretend it isn't real. Darkness is real. But we can be part of the solution and help bring them into the light.
Right now homeschooling is the hardest thing I've ever done. I have threatened to quit so many times in the last few weeks. Certain children, who shall remain nameless, but are in the younger set with blonde hair (ha!), are on a crash course to being put at the end of the driveway......long term. I'm not happy about it and was sitting there at the table last night with tears in my eyes saying, "What am I going to do?!" to my husband. Now that he's not around anymore, I have no back up, no principal's office to send them to. I know it was probably hard with the older four, but I don't remember it being this hard. I also had more mobility when the older four were just that...only 4 of them. Now, I am much less able to scoot around. Half the time I don't have a car and when I do, I can't even take all the kids! So, there I was, sinking into a pit, ready to throw in the towel. Was I outright depressed, perhaps not, but I was sure frustrated and discouraged.
But then, it came to me...totally out of the blue, this awesome brainwave, right then and there, in the middle of me singing the blues at the dinner table. Instead of seeing my situation as depressing, suddenly I saw it as an opportunity. I had 4 younger children needing a break from me and me needing a break from them. And I had 4 capable older children who could be just that - 4 new teachers. So, we came up with a plan, all in a matter of minutes. Starting next week, I've asked my older 4 to each take an afternoon. I will teach all the "book work" still in the morning (which has been the challenge) and each afternoon one of my older kids will teach one of the "electives" like sewing, history, geography, science. If they don't do their book work in the morning, no fun school with the older siblings and the wrath of Dad to look forward to when he comes home. The older ones seemed up for it and I was thrilled to think I had "supply" teachers living in my house all along! Will it cut into their school? Maybe, but at the same time, it will just reinforce what they are learning. On the Friday, my husband offered to teach them something as well related to the house or a project around here. Yeah! I was slowly crawling out of the pit.....I had hope again that my kids wouldn't hate school and that I wouldn't dislike teaching them. I had cried out and once again, God had met me.
The Christian life is just not a walk in the park, it's that simple. I jump in and out of the pit all the time. But what keeps me going and from throwing in the towel is the simple effort of crying out....all the time....Sometimes I get a quick answer like I did last night. Other times, it is a long process, which it has been with this debt-termination goal....just not happening fast....yet one day, one day, there will be an answer.
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