Tuesday 13 April 2021

Alpacas, Seeds and Taking on Feelings

My 14 year old is trying to save his money for two things - a new camera and a new trampoline (even though we already have 4).  He can't do the tricks he wants to do on the current trampolines as only one has a net and he needs the net.  I don't love this but I love how this is encouraging him to be creative and resourceful to make some cash as he can't have a job at this age and we don't pay well on the farm. This is also been the most amazing physical release for him as he heads out day after day for a "sesh", as he calls it.  He hasn't lifted a single weight in his life and I cannot believe the muscles on him - that is the main side benefit to his trampline hobby.... So we've told him to sell anything he can think of that is lying around and he's already made quite a bit of money doing that.  He also sold his silkie chickens that were born on the farm last summer.  That made him super happy.  And we told him to pray.  God hears the prayers of 14 year olds!

Yesterday has to be the funniest answer to prayer yet.  My oldest son has gotten to know one of his professors at school as he takes most of her classes and he has also delivered hay to her alpaca farm.  What a small funny world we live in.  She really seems to like my son because he's super keen in her class and gets high marks.  So out of the blue last week she asked him if he would like to earn some extra cash by helping out on her farm on alpaca shearing day!  Sure!  And she wanted him to bring a brother if possible.  My next oldest son couldn't go so he took the 14 year old.  I love how she didn't even question his age or abilities - a brother of my oldest?  He must have a similar work ethic and, it turns out, he did.

They came home after a whole day of alpaca shearing, 14 of them, and had had a great time.  And, unlike us, she paid really well!  So both of them made some good cash.  They were complimented for how hard they worked and how quickly they caught on.  I was so happy.  I just love how God answers our prayers and in ways that we could never have imagined and, as I always like to say to the kids, "in kid form".  

What I didn't know was that the alpaca professor is married to another biology professor and my son also took his classes.  This professor was the one my son had a small creation/evolution conversation with a couple of years ago where he actually took the time to challenge him at the end of the semester about an evolutionary slide he used in one of his classes that has been proven false years ago.  That same professor also saw that my son was reading a book at the time on creation and how it debunks evolution.  Of all the places to be yesterday he was in the barn of that same professor and his wife.  My prayer is that they were great witnesses yesterday to that couple.  Only God could coordinate that strange arrangement.

My seeds did come yesterday.  I don't know what a panic attack feels like, but when I saw them, at first I was elated, but then I felt terror.  I've been reading so much on fear and taking possession of the land that I half-expected the fear to come and it did.  I spent a lot of the night reading about each vegetable, what it requires, which ones need to be transplanted at what date, which ones are direct seed....whatever happened to just putting seeds in the garden on the May long weekend?!  I had to take a lot of deep breaths.  Then, I posted about the garden on social media and took more deep breaths....

The whole time I was doing all the reading on vegetables, my husband was doing lab/wine testing in the kitchen as the wine has to pass all sorts of tests before it can be sold.  We have a lot going on!  

My husband and I recognize that we are in over our heads, but in a good way.  We recognize that one of our patterns, in both of us, that I believe God is trying to take out of us, is the pattern of being run by our feelings.  Instead of feeling fear, I need to say what I heard in the homeschool conference session I was listening to today, "Christ dwells in me - ALL His joy, ALL His peace, ALL His power."  The difference is that I don't have to let feelings run me, including the feeling of fear.  If I were to boil it down to what I fear - it's a seed?  I'm afraid of a few seeds?  Not growing?  Or I'm afraid of a bug?  or rain? or sun?  These are all things I can handle.  

We had a good talk about it as we read Deuteronomy 3 yesterday.  This is the third or 4th time I've read it in the last few weeks and rereading it last night with the family was another good reminder - as the Israelites "turned" in a new direction, the king of Sihon came out against them - all his army - but right away God said, "Do not fear....."  So, as I turn in this new direction of the garden and my enemy of the seeds, the weather, the soil, the pestilence, comes out against me, I'm not going to fear.  God gave them into the hands of the Israelites and He will help me in my battle, too.  

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