Give Me Hopeless - Lessons from Lent

We thought last year was cold.  I cannot believe how cold it is this year and how many days in a row it's been ridiculously cold.  Lost a cow to it already...hopefully no more!

Three days into Lent - I've been encouraged by a renewed sense of urgency to pray for so many things again.  I half-wish that I could sit and write out all my prayers as I am praying while running around the house or folding laundry or doing dishes, as that is when I pray the most, but it is hard to write and fold or wash at the same time.

I have spoken with so many who are taking this challenge on as well.  I'm encouraged even by my children as a few took it on without my even suggesting it.  I wanted to make sure that they weren't doing it just to be different or as merely a challenge, but that there would be some spiritual goal as well and I was happy to hear they all had spiritual reasons behind the type of fast they had chosen.

No cheques came though leaving it tight once again.  I actually find that not stressful yet more of a challenge to my faith, wondering what God will do.  Last night we got a call that confirmed all our hay would be taken which is great. At one point my husband thought we might get stuck with it, so money will come today that way.

I'm running potentially two more seminars on "Chores".  It's been a challenge to know when and how to order books for it though.  When it starts to impact other people, I have to admit, the anxious thoughts do try to creep in.

Our house is shrinking, I think.  We are running out of space for children to sleep!  Technically there is definitely enough space mattress-wise, but not an actual bed per kid.  As each child grows bigger, the ones who actually share a bed are starting to elbow the other one in the middle of the night!  They claim they aren't getting good sleeps, etc.  I try to make them remember the pioneers or even the children who sleep on mats in Africa, and they know they have nothing to complain about, yet if they could choose, they would like their own beds.  So I said to them last night, "It is another thing to pray about."  So we prayed, "Lord, you know we need more space for sleeping children.  Could you do something so they don't have to squish each other at night?"

Once my oldest daughter moves into the loft room above the piano, then we'll be good, but that requires some money to renovate to make it safe (a rail and a set of stairs).  That'll free up a bed for one of my daughters.  Then we'll probably need to buy bunkbeds for the little boys as they are still in either a crib or a toddler bed which won't last for much longer!  The joys of growing up.

As a way of a recall, on day 1 of the fast, I was half-expecting God to reach down and speak to me in a real voice to encourage me or do a major miracle to kick it off, but it was kind of just a regular day. What made it fun was that we were at a friend's house who lives nearby on one of the most beautiful properties I've ever seen.  They have just over 2 acres surrounded by forest -  it is stunning. Her husband built the coolest sledding hill for the younger kids going down this hill where he cut a path in the forest, so it is safe - no way to hit a tree yet still enjoy the beauty.  I was standing at the top of the hill where there was snow everywhere, gorgeous scenery, laughing children and all I could say was, "You need to charge people to come here!  This is amazing!"  I was just taking in the incredible vistas, the sounds, the beauty of it all and I couldn't believe what came out of her mouth, "I'm so glad to hear you say that.  I forget.  My children forget.  I've suffered from discontentment all week."  WHAT????!!!!  I couldn't believe it.  It's been upon reflecting that I realize God was speaking to me the first lesson of Lent - the dangers of discontentment.

This friend of mine lives near another family who is extremely well-off and has all they have 4x over. Bigger house, bigger property, better sledding hill, better behaved kids (in her mind!), relatives nearby to help out whenever she needs them (my friend has no one nearby)....she said when her kids come back from their house they'll say things like, "Must be nice to be so rich or live in a mansion like that...."  She wants to yell out at them, "YOU ARE RICH!!!!  LOOK AROUND YOU!!!! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE????"  She felt her kids had forgotten how good they have it, but then their comments started to make her feel discontent!  She started to see all this other mom had and it started to really irk her, too!  We're all so weak in this area, aren't we?

We talked for a long time about it.  I will keep praying for freedom in my life, specifically financial freedom, as I really do believe I am praying in God's will for that, but I must keep myself in check that I don't start to make that an idol.  I must be very aware of discontment in my own life.  God must stay as my number one priority.  I must stay content in my situation especially if it never changes which it doesn't appear to be!  I am being shown favour everyday by the very fact I am alive!  The debt must not make me forget that I am still being shown favour despite the fact there are still rocks in my path.  The rocks are part of the favour, as I'm learning.

The next day, again, no lightning bolts from heaven, just a regular day.  But then I got a phone call from a different friend who is taking Lent on for the first time in the name of her marriage and her finances.  She has never done anything like this in her life and she called me to tell me two great things that had happened to her on day 1.  I was so grateful that she had received encouragement as she needed it more than I did.  God had spoken to her through her daughter.  This daughter at one point had basically encouraged her to leave her husband, stop the pain, and get on with her life.  But yesterday, she did an about-face.  She told her mom, "Don't give up.  Don't leave him.  You'll regret it.  Give him another chance."  I'm sure those weren't her exact words, but that was the idea.  This blew my friend out of the water and she was so happy to hear it that she called me to tell me.  I told her that encouragement came directly from God.  She also received an encouragement financially which made her feel that God was already listening to her cries for change in her financial situation.

She encouraged me by her phone call.  I hadn't gotten a "sign from God" the way I hoped, but then I realized I did!  God uses people to encourage us to stay on His path.  He actually had spoken to me through her.  By seeing her answers to prayer I was encouraged to keep praying both for her needs and mine.  I was so glad she had taken the time to call me and let me know otherwise I wouldn't have been aware of how God was already working.  I've, too, have been an encouragement to her, at least that's what she told me.  Most of the people in her life would have told her to give up. She hadn't heard the message of hope for a long time.  So lesson #2?  The body of Christ is critical,  It is the hands and feet of Christ himself, coming down with flesh on to encourage us in our walk with Him. We're looking for the lightning bolts or the wild miracles that can only be explained supernaturally when the whole time He is using just regular Spirit-filled people....IF....we open our eyes to this.  We can miss it if we aren't careful and then think to ourselves, "Where is God?  Why isn't He answering my prayers?"  But He is.

So, I am encouraged even though I've had two "regular" days, they have been full of answered prayers already.

I will keep praying.  I will keep looking with my eyes wide open for God in everything I do just because of these last two days of "regular".  My friend asked me what I was fasting and I told her the things I was giving up.  She said, "Wow, you are so disciplined!"  I quickly told her, "No, I'm not disciplined at all.  I'm just that desperate for change."  That struck her later, she told me in the phone call.  She had heard all the things I've said to her before, but she was never motivated to do anything about her situation, her marriage, etc.  When she thought about it, she realized perhaps it was because she wasn't desperate enough.  Then I came along and gave her the challenges that I did.  This time, it stuck.  Why?  Because now she is desperate!  I actually love that.  I love hopelessness!  That is the material that God works with best!  If we aren't hopeless enough, than we rely on our own strength, not God.  Give me hopeless.  Give me desperation.  Being in that situation is sadly sometimes what it takes.

Day 3 might just be a regular day, too, but is it really ever "regular" when God is involved?  Can't I find something supernatural now that I have the eyes for it?  I bet I will.