There's a Fourth Guy

It's been another tougher week financially as we wait payment, as usual!  The insurance company sent a cheque to the car dealership in town as we are still working out all that from the time my husband got hit on the highway.  This car dealership is the most crooked place we've ever dealt with. They tried to take a cut of what was ours for doing absolutely nothing.  We picked up the cheque and a significant amount of money was missing, for no reason whatsoever.  Everytime my husband deals with this company they find a way to "take a cut" above and beyond what is reasonable.  It'll be the last time we deal with them for sure.  

We also had a couple hay cancellations which is fine, we know we'll sell it, but we were counting on the money at that time!  Always depending, always waiting on the Lord.

As I read in Genesis about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I see how God favoured these men and I'm always in shock at how and why!  All of them lied at some point in their lives.  Jacob, in particular, was the master deceiver, cheating his brother out of his birthright and blessing.  Loved by his mother more and not standing up to her plan of deception, he had to leave town to avoid being killed.  Yet somehow God still chose to bless these men!  Crazy!  Inexplicable!  "They don't deserve it!"  I want to cry out.  But then, of course, I see myself and I realize I don't deserve God's blessing either and yet He pours out His blessing on me, all the time.

In fact, this is my point - we still look back on our lives and always wish we had made better financial decisions.  We wish we'd had a different philosophy on debt right from the get-go.  But for whatever reason, we just didn't see it the way we wish we had and here we are, in a position we never want our children to be in, so we beg God to help us....just like those men from the Bible, we know we don't deserve God's favour.  Oh boy, do we know it.  We are no different from them at all!  We simply ask God for His blessing, His favour, that He does not have to give us, yet we know, in His mercy, He can.  

Then, I read the stories very differently.  I actually cling to the fact that they were so bad!  I read their stories with much more hope.  I'm so grateful that God allowed their humanity to be left plain and clear in the Bible, even the very words from their lying mouths are recorded.  But God still met them, in dreams, in visions, with angelic visitors.  He prospered them in all they did.  He even prospered the people that lived near them like Laban who also certainly didn't deserve it.

Satan still tries to leave me discouraged though.  But I think back to when I first started writing and I remember many more days of discouragement.  He kind of left me alone for awhile as he realized I was on to him and there wasn't much point, but then why leave me alone forever, so he tried again this week.  

It was classic - I think it was Tuesday morning, first thing.  RM went out to his office and there was a payment on the credit card that was from CollegePlus, but instead of giving us a heads up, they made it an "automatic" payment that he hadn't authorized.  This was easy to clear up and it eventually was, but not at first.  One thing to make my husband upset is to take money automatically without his authorization! 

It's easy to see how it is an attack afterwards, but at the time, you are just stuck in the middle of it all and you can't see it right away.  I immediately started to feel an awful feeling in my stomach.  I started to doubt the college decision as it was costing so much money.  I started to feel we'd made the wrong decision, how would we pay, what were we going to do.  Then he got a phone bill that showed a charge that was waaaaay over our limit on the cell (meaning the kids were using it when they weren't allowed!),  He wasn't too happy about that either!  Then I started feeling awful about that!  I felt like things like this shouldn't happen when we're trying to be careful with our money - it was the "We're such bad people!" feeling.  "We'll never get out of debt if all we have are constant expenses that we shouldn't have in the first place!!!" kind of feeling.

I had made breakfast.  I handed my husband his plate and then I just went and sat by myself on the couch.  I ate mechanically as I was so sick in my stomach.  I could almost feel the knots being made. I just sat there trying so hard to calm myself down as I knew panic wouldn't help me or anyone.  Then a thought came into my head and it just wouldn't go away, "Nothing can separate you from the love of God."  Over and over I heard the phrase.  Then my husband came into the family room and one look at me made him say, "What's wrong?"  I guess it was all over my face.  I told him how stressed I was feeling and he immediately said, "Don't be.  We'll work it out."  Then he went outside to sort things out.

I got up and decided I had to keep going on as well as I could.  In other times, I've started to get snippy with the kids if I'm stressed and I've taken my stress out on them.  This time, I determined not to and we just got on with our day.  I didn't want to pass on stress to them that they didn't need to feel. As I walked around, I kept thinking about the phrase, "Nothing can separate you from the love of God."  So I just thanked him as I walked around cleaning up, constantly praying, constantly walking around literally by faith.  I decided I would just trust despite how things looked.

Moments later, RM turned up.  He came right up to me and said, "We got the contract."  Just like that.  He had only left minutes earlier.  He'd gone to his office and the phone had rang.  He ended up talking to someone who had asked for a quote weeks earlier, but it hadn't been accepted yet.  That morning they'd called to say they wanted to go ahead with it.  This is the one that pays first!!!  Not 30 days after the work is done!!!!!  I literally sighed with relief.  Praise God was all I could think of.  He had done it again.  I just had to exercise my faith in Him, trusting Him despite all appearances, that He truly was in control.

We are now studying Daniel in church.  That is the theme of that book.  God is in control despite all appearances.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said it best,

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. 17 If this be so, nour God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.418 But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

My favourite part of that verse is the "But if not" phrase.  See, even if God hadn't blessed us that day with the contract I would have been ok.  I had decided to not worship Nebuchandnezzar's idol, which in my case had been the idol of fear Satan had set up for me. It wasn't easy at first as I sure wanted to crumble that day and give in to fear, but as I thought about what that looked like, I knew it would have ruined me and my family, so I decided, by faith, that God could save me, "but if not", even if God didn't "save me" from the fiery furnace I was in that day, God was still in control despite all appearances.

Then the miracle happened.  King Nebuchadnezzar noticed something funny....

Then King Nebuchadnezzar was tastonished and rose up uin haste. He declared to his vcounselors, “Did we not cast three men wbound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” 25 He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, xwalking in the midst of the fire, and they yare not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like za son of the gods.”

God showed up.  He was in the furnace with the boys.  Isn't that great?  God was with me in my little fiery trial, too.  He was speaking to me in my mind, "Nothing...nothing...not a bill, not an automatic payment, not an upset husband.....nothing can separate you from the love of God."  He showed up!  He spoke to me!  Then, almost to confirm His love, He gave us the contract minutes later. He could have waited for a different day, or even a different hour that same day, but He was gracious to me and gave me a sign of His love for me right away.  I was so grateful.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego must have been so relieved to have the fourth guy show up, too!  Nice to have a little support in the furnace!

So, a victory, for God, for me - Satan tried but didn't succeed.  The furnace has felt soooo hot this week.  I have been certain at moments during this week that we are going to get burnt to a crisp and it has been close, I'm telling you, but there has been a fourth guy walking around with us and for some reason we are still alive.   He has been "walking in the midst of the fire" with us and we "are not hurt".  

Isaiah 43 confirms it:

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

So, even if I'm in deep waters, which I am, or walking through a fire, which I am, I am not going to be swept under or set ablaze.  There's a fourth guy.