Yesterday was a hard day for my oldest son. A day of lessons in taking responsibility. He had studied very hard for his driver's test and was all set to go, but somehow missed the section on bringing I.D. to the test, so he couldn't take it. He was so disappointed and frustrated and felt it wasn't his mistake. His mood turned sour and he struggled on and off throughout the day.
Finally at the end of the day as our family gathered for our nightly re-cap of the day and prayer, we were able to discuss all the tests that had come his way that day, where he had perhaps failed and how he could have handled things better. We explained his mistake wasn't in forgetting his I.D., it was how he handled his frustration and in the not taking responsibility for his forgetfulness. That is always the hardest part, isn't it? Taking personal responsibility? We are all prone to blame-shifting.
Poor guy. Lesson learned, I think. I don't think he'll ever forget to bring I.D. to anything ever again, nor will any of our future children who need their licenses! Hopefully he can write it today and then within a few months we should have another driver!
As we looked back on yesterday, we realized it had been quite a hard day for some of us. There had been all sorts of strange struggles. Without trying to over-spiritualize things, we wondered if we were specifically being attacked because of our upcoming attempt at praying again for a focused amount of time. It would make sense! Satan will do anything to keep us from praying together and from having a spirit of prayer.
I had a great day, on the other hand! I only had 4 children with me for most of the day as the other ones were with RM on errands. He took my rambunctious 5 year old which really changed the tone of the day and how much we all accomplished! He really makes a huge difference in my regular day-to-day duties. He gets into so many conflicts just by existing!
I had to literally take matters into my own hands last week in an attempt to keep him out of trouble. Just like a tomato plant needs to be staked, I staked him. That's right, I tied a little piece of yarn a few inches long to his wrist and the other end to my wrist and he had to stay near me for about an hour. He couldn't stand it! He wanted to run away and get into some kind of trouble so badly! It was extremely effective. He got my point. I kept telling him, "I want you to learn to obey and the only way you can learn that is by being near by and watching me and listening to me.....just like a tomato plant." I didn't come up with this all on my own. A long time ago I read a book called Raising Godly Tomatoes. The author suggests that is exactly what you do if you don't want "rotten" kids, have them near you, "staked", as much as possible. Not tied with yarn, but near you, in a literal and a figurative sense. That way you are able to train better, pick up on their issues more quickly, and then deal with their "tomato diseases" more effectively. If a child is just left on his own, he'll rot. My poor little guy wants to grow wild like a roaming tomato plant which seems easier at first...."Aahhhh just leave him be....it's too much work to train!" But I know if just leave him be, then I'll have a rotten plant. So I press on with him, even though he can be so trying. I want him to be a fruitful plant, full of awesome tomatoes! I'll be praying for him as much as anything else, these next 40 days.
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