A Debt of Love

I'm grossly overdue in this post.  I didn't write about it at the time (back in January) as I didn't think it had anything to do with debt until I realized it was a different form of debt - a debt of love, of gratitude...to my sister, and to all those who participated in a special day exactly one month ago today.  The other reason I decided at the time I shouldn't write about it was because I didn't want to talk too much about it as it is always painful for my sister who is living out of town to hear about (or read about!) events like this one as it is just another reminder that she misses out.  Often, I think we play down any celebration she misses, so that she won't feel badly for not being able to make it, especially to cousin birthdays or any other special events that go on.  But then...I realized this one she needs to know about - as it is going to happen to her one day, too - she has two daughters as well.  I want her to know what she can look forward to!  So read on, C, and hopefully this will get you excited about what's ahead for M and A!


Well, back in January when my oldest turned 16, my younger sister, S, put on a family birthday party to remember, to celebrate my daughter's big birthday.  It was something very special.  In Genesis, whenever something significant happens, the people of God are told to build a memorial so that they'll never forget what God did.  It is always so that the future generations will not forget God's marvelous works.  This is my memorial of that day, not built of rocks, but instead of words, written for generations to come, so they'll know that we are trying, as an extended family, to seek God in the raising of our children and this includes even my siblings building into my children - a true gift.  I also want to dedicate this to S as she put on one of the most significant events in my daughter's life to date.  So, to S - I am indebted to you and all that you did on that special day....


It began with having my daughter's favourite people in her life invited - her Grandma, her Grammy, her newest aunt, all her little cousins, sisters (mom!) and even Nana (my sister's mother-in-law).  The boys were also invited, invited to be scarce! and they played outside the whole time - which they LOVED - and were happy to just be there as long as pizza and cake would be included at some point in the day!


My sister lives on one of the most beautiful 10-acre properties you'll ever see - from the hidden driveway, you'd never know this place was there, but as you turn in, you see a gorgeous winding driveway with woods on both sides that opens up into a clearing with a beautiful home surrounded by more trees, a forest actually,  and incredible landscaping.  With the snow freshly fallen, it was the perfect setting for a winter birthday, right out of Martha Stewart.  It was as if my sister had decorated it with white snow just for effect!


With everyone dressed up just little more than usual we entered in and got a warm reception, quickly followed by either a coffee or tea - who wouldn't have wanted that when it was still so icy outside!

Soon the festivities began - it was an afternoon tea.   My sister definitely has the gift of hospitality and it showed - she had thought of everything to make it special for the Sweet Sixteen-Year-Old.  The pinks and whites were everywhere, from napkins, to dishes, and even to the pretty table runners.  The table was so inviting.   You could tell her girls were excited and must have helped set it all up.  They, too, have the gift of hospitality from their mother.

Everyone had brought something to contribute to the light meal, dainty tea sandwiches, fruit, shrimp.....mmmmmm.....everything was delicious and gobbled up quickly.  My youngest daughter was crazy about the tea sandwiches with their olives, cream cheese and circle shapes and couldn't get enough of them!  Goodbye peanut butter and jam!

Once everyone was full, out came the decadent cake and cupcakes.  Suddenly there were boys in the room!  Where had they come from????  Oh, they smelled the desserts!  They'd been ousted from the girls' tea room forced to eat pizza, but they were allowed the dessert, so they were quickly let in and then kicked right back out......

Then the more formal part of the afternoon began.  I was not expecting this.  I had actually thought to myself, I should call my sister and ask her if she wants me to bring a verse or something to share, but then, for some reason, I didn't - I figured she probably had it all under control.  I was right.  In a way, this event was about to be as much a blessing to me as it was to my daughter.

My family started a tradition when my older sister, C, turned 40 - we went out and bought her 40 little gifts that symbolized her, from fun shoes, to hair things, makeup, etc., that were all a way to celebrate the many different sides to her.  The next siblings to turn 40 also received 40 little gifts (over 40 days!) and so it seemed a little tradition was created.  S did this for my daughter, in a way, to carry on the new  tradition.  So each aunt or Grammy, had brought a little gift for her, adding up to 16 things, culminating in a beautiful bracelet that any girl would be thrilled to wear.

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But that was not the true blessing - S had verses prepared where she inserted my daughter's name, 16 different times, praying that God would show my daughter her gifts, direction in her life, help her to help others and so many other incredibly beautiful sentiments - all directly from Scripture.  I loved this as we all know she could have gone out and bought any Hallmark card that wished her well in her upcoming year, etc., etc., but she didn't - instead she (and others who had picked verses that spoke to them about my daughter) went to the Word - only God, not Hallmark, has the right and the authority to truly guide my daughter - each verse was either individually hand-written or typed and will forever be remembered and appreciated.  My prayer is that she will truly take those verses to heart, truly live those verses now and ask God to apply those verses to her life.

Each verse had been wrapped up in a pretty little paper envelope that could have easily been tossed at the end of the day.  I told my sister to hang on to them as she had set the standard for all the little girl cousins to come.  I want to do the very thing she did for my daughter and for all the other daughters to come (there are 7 more girls in the family.....so far....my brother just got married this past summer!)  I hope those 16 envelopes are kept for generations to come.  I'd like them to act as part of the memorial, especially if they get all tattered and ripped over time.  Even better.  Scripture will go inside them, the one true thing that can guide our girls.  I even think with my sister in the States and her daughters that this is something we must try to do for them as they enter into their 16th year.... perhaps "Skype-a-Ceremony"?!  I'm sure it wouldn't be the first internet birthday party!

So, to my sister, C, the one who couldn't be there - I know you and your girls would have been there in spirit and would have flown up in a heartbeat if you could have - sometimes the oldest children in a family are the guinea pigs and we learn by doing something like this that a new tradition has just been started.  Who knew?  In this case it was my child who was the guinea pig, but now we know....this must de done again.  I can't wait to do a repeat performance for Mal as she'll be next in the girl cousins - if not in person, by Skype - it'll be something you and her can look forward to.

To my sister, S, mom, mom-in-law, sister-in-law, Nana, and all the sweet little girl cousins, even those not able to attend....what an afternoon I'll never forget.  The effort that was put into that day to make it special was mind-boggling.  Writing it out has shown me that even more.  To have God as our focus, to have it in common as we raise our children, is a gift I treasure and trust that I'll never take for granted.   You don't have to look far to see how rare that is.

Thank you, thank you, thank you - like I said earlier, it was as much a blessing to me as it was to my daughter.  Love you all and I truly am in debt - in debt to your kindness.  I look forward to "paying you back."