Slept in. It's my birthday, so I figured I was allowed. I was served a lovely breakfast in bed by my oldest, which usually consists of a great cup of coffee from my husband, followed by eggs benedict (my absolute fav breakfast). Delicious! I'm very spoiled, I know it.
Yesterday I had witnesses to the strip trampoline game. My friend and I were standing in the kitchen when one of the kids said, "Mom! He's naked again!" It is much colder outside now, but sure enough, there he was, the inimitable 4 year old, buck naked, streaking across the lawn from the trampoline towards the house, then suddenly changing his mind and going back to the trampoline for one last jump, then hearing me yell something about it being illegal to jump naked, then back to the house to look for warmer clothes. What is it about that boy and his clothes?????? Now that it is much cooler, I doubt he'll be doing that much more - thank goodness!!!
This week, throughout the ups and downs of regular life, I've heard from God multiple times in really subtle ways, from the reading of one of my kids little readers that talks about how we are created to work and that work is a good thing (it feels like that is all I do!) to hearing God's Word on the radio speak to my exact struggles, to even bedtime stories at night. The other night I was reading the story of how Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree they had been told not to eat. What struck me was their punishments - basically, life would be hard from now on. For the woman, it would be pain in childbirth and, my personal take on it, even in child-rearing to some extent. For the man, it would be hard to make a living. Working the land would not be easy. Reading this again with my whole week in mind was oddly reassuring - I need not be surprised when things aren't going exactly as I hoped. It is part of the curse! Seeing my husband experience struggles in his work life should not be a shock to us - also part of the curse. Now, it isn't to say, can't win, don't try. No, we keep at it, we don't give up, but we realize the struggles are just part of life this side of heaven. The difficulties end up always, ultimately, pointing us to heaven, longing for the rest that is coming. I press on! He is walking beside me.
Chapter 4 - The Homecoming - A Daughter and Sister Transformed
Before Stephanie decided what she was going to do once school was finished, she inwardly struggled. Was this really what she was supposed to do? How would she explain this to her family let alone to other friends who thought she was going to move out, start a career, live on her own? I had given her a lot to chew on and shaken her world, nearly turning it upside down on her. At first she told no one her thoughts, not even her mom whom she was so close to. For about two weeks, she was silently considering all we had talked about.
At first her mom would ask her if something was wrong as she seemed extra quiet, even moody perhaps. This was not the normal Stephanie. Stephanie wouldn't elaborate. Then later, her mom asked her again. This time, Stephanie couldn't take it anymore and broke down and cried, "Yes, something is wrong! I want to move home again and come live with you, but I don't know what you'll think about that and and and......" She was quite upset and not sure how her mom was going to react. Her mom's reaction was perfect. "Stephanie! That's wonderful! We'd love to have you come home! That'll be great! We'll redo your room and make it all new for you to move in!" "What?!" That was not what Stephanie expected. She thought they would be disappointed and embarrassed to have her move home. Remember, she has a degree under her belt now, she's a big girl! She's supposed to be a woman on the move, taking on the world, not moving home! But her mom was thrilled. I think her dad figured it was ok, but he wanted to make sure she was going to get a job. He didn't realize that wasn't her main goal in coming home.
So, like I said, home she went. It was amazing to see her family starting to come together already even in how they embraced her homecoming. One of the key things I had suggested was that she come home to assist her very busy mother who worked full-time and then had all the house keeping responsibilities and meal planning on top of all that. I also suggested that she try to assist her dad and take on some of the responsibilities of her dad's business, perhaps by doing the books, which her mom was currently doing, or anything that would pick up the slack and alleviate the stress of her parents. Stephanie was open to all these ideas and slowly communicated them to her parents, explaining she was coming home to help. I'm sure they thought she was well-meaning, but didn't really know how serious she was. I'm sure they didn't even realize or think that they needed her help. They'd been coping well enough on their own for years, why would they need her help now?
Stephanie did put her name on a supply teaching list and did hope for some work as income is always a good thing when you have none! She wasn't looking for anything permanent yet as she wasn't sure where she was going to end up. Supply teaching seemed like a good start. But, if she didn't get a call to teach what was she supposed to do with all her free time. I think she shocked her parents by offering to help out at home. "I'll do the grocery shopping, Mom, and make dinner tonight." I wish I could have been there when she would suggest those types of things. Her mom was so tired from working all day and then to have to come home and be expected to pull together a meal, let alone do all the shopping, must have been a real strain. Stephanie started to lighten her load, one day at a time.
Stephanie would help around the house, too, cleaning up without being asked. Little things like this, I'm sure, had her parents wondering what she was up to. Her brother was probably wondering, too. He was making better choices in his life slowly, but was still a challenge at home. Stephanie and I were praying regularly together about her transition home and we were always asking the Lord, "What can I do to bring peace to my home?" With her brother, it was easy - just be there with him and for him. She started to go to all his sports games. She'd be there, cheering in the stands or just driving him back and forth. She became sister of the year. I think he must have loved that - his own personal fan club! They talked a lot and though their relationship wasn't perfect, they were rebuilding right from the moment she moved home. She'd been gone so long, nearly 5 years, that they really didn't know each other. He wasn't always super receptive to her being home as in his eyes, she was a little goody two shoes, making him look bad as she did all this extra helping around the house - how annoying! But she and I would pray for strength to endure his frustration with her and she would go back home recharged and ready to take on anything that she came up against, be it his anger towards her that he sometimes felt or any other stress still remaining in the house from before she moved back home.
She was giving back to this family that had given her so much. She was becoming an asset to her parents in all sorts of ways, from the house keeping, to the meal making, to the keeping of the books, running errands, being there for her brother. Each week (we met together each Friday for prayer) she would come back with another amazing grace story that had happened. She would tell me of another thing God had shown her she could do to help out her family in some way. This was not a walk in the park by any means and, as mentioned, we always had to pray for how hard it was when her brother's anger would flare up towards her or when she had to witness the tension between him and his parents or even between her parents themselves, but we prayed and prayed and each week she left encouraged to persevere and literally be the best daughter and sister she could be. It was amazing to see her stretched waaaaay out of her comfort zone. She'd never looked at this role of daughter and sister so seriously before. She was being molded into a new person, but like a piece of clay that has to have all the rough edges rubbed off, it was not easy and it hurt sometimes. Yet, she always remained open to the Lord's direction - she never had a heart of stone. She was excited to see what God could do through her and amazing things were beginning to happen in her family's life. My eyes feel wet just reliving it all.
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