A few more things from Nancy...
Satan tries to rob us of our authority in the home. God has given us a domain - the home. There is something in us because of the command to take dominion on the earth that loves this and wants to do this, bu there is something that fights against us, too. Instead of longing for managing our home and making it orderly, Satan comes along and deceives us. We end up trying to look for another sphere of leadership and we start ordering and managing our husbands. So, of course, what was intended to be a God-given desire gets turned on us and there is only strife when we try to order our husbands around. We all know this.
She gave a funny example of a woman with 1.6 children who is bored. Manage my home? Order my home? It's easy with just a kid or two, so she literally can be bored as I was with my one perfect little child. Add a few more into the mix and start taking dominion in our homes by doing the good works that God intended, you'll find there is no chance for boredom! 1 Timothy 5:10 says, "...and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work." This verse speaks of the good works we need to be about.
The interesting thing is the more children I have, the more I am given dominion over! There is never even a chance that I'll long for a different life outside my home - I'm too busy to even think about that! I came home from the retreat and the very next day was out and about delivering meals to two moms that had just had babies. I had to run to the grocery store to get the needed groceries, quickly do several loads of laundry that hadn't been done while I was gone, try to maintain some cleaning and get some school done, quickly make a meal for us as well, pick up some equipment for my husband as part of my errands, get the meals to the moms, have a quick visit......it was a nutty day! There was no downtime. But that's what Nancy was talking about and I loved every minute of it.
She talked about disobedient children, too, and how we must teach them to obey our authority as God really can't use disobedient children. After all the years that the children of Egypt were in slavery, finally set free, then into the desert, saved multiple times in the desert, etc., etc......after all that, only 2 got into the Promised Land - Joshua and Caleb. If that can happen to them, it can happen to us. We must take our God-given authority over our children and train, train, train. By obeying us, they will learn to obey God and get the blessings He has for them.
So, the take-home lesson is for us as mothers to watch out for the ways Satan can tempt us to despise our role in the home. Being about the things that God has planned for us is just one way we can keep Satan at bay. I'm too busy to be dissatisfied! Ok, more later...back to Stephanie's story.
Chapter 10 - A Visit, A Walk, A Courtship!
On the night Mr. A came over to "help", he stayed up late as he wanted to talk to my husband. Sensing this was a guy thing, I went to bed. That night they talked late into the night as Mr. A clearly outlined his feelings for Stephanie and that he wanted things to move ahead, but wasn't quite sure how. He wanted to know how my husband thought he should make the next step. Renaissance Man encouraged him to state his intentions as soon as he could so he wouldn't leave her guessing. There was much more to it, I'm sure, but that was the jist of it.
The next morning Stephanie arrived to work for RM. She was supposed to be doing paperwork-type things, but instead RM put her on the "trim crew" with Mr. A. Yup, she learned to do finishing carpentry that day. I don't think she minded. She was an emotional mess on the inside, but kept it together on the outside, being friendly and chatty. Oh, how funny. She knew, we knew, he knew, that, yes, Mr. A wanted to come over and "help" at the house, but there was more to it. If only I could have been a fly on the wall that day! I think it went something like this....
Sometime after arriving and "helping", he asked if Stephanie would like to go for a walk. It was Fall and rather cool. She had no coat, but quite frankly, didn't care. Out they went for a walk around the block. She can hardly remember the words he said to her that day. All she heard was that he wanted them to get to know one another to see if it was God's will they should marry." Oh my goodness, how do you respond to that?! "I'd like that, too," was what she said. No doubt! The next thing you know, they were an offical item, offically "courting" with serious intentions to marry, not just for fun, not to date, but for marriage. Yikes, that happened fast!
The next few days and weeks were a sudden blur of emails, phone calls, little "dates" at her house, his house, our house. Each time, Andrew had a list of things they were going to talk about. This man was serious. He was quoting Scripture to her, praying with her, already discipling her. It was a whirlwind. Her parents were rather confused, I'm sure, and by this point wondered what was going on and how this could all be happening so fast, but they were supportive and tried their best to make Mr. A feel at home.
One time he came over to our house and again, sat us all down and asked, "What should we be considering that we are not considering? What kinds of things should we be talking about that we haven't thought of?" Each meeting he was very intentional in getting to know Stephanie and having her get to know him. She was on Cloud 9, to say the least.
It definitely appeared like things were moving in the marriage direction and fast. But things seemed so right, why slow them down????
It wasn't long after that first courtship discussion, perhaps 3 weeks - did you hear that, 3 WEEKS, when one night they were playing a game at her parent's house. Suddenly, in front of everyone, Mr. A got down on one knee and asked if Stephanie would marry him, just like that. I think everyone's jaw dropped to the ground, including Stephanie's! It appeared things were going quickly, but wow, that was really quick! She gave a resounding "yes!" and the next thing you know, her parents, who were rather dumbfounded, opened a bottle of champagne and the celebrating began!
I got a call within a day or so from her saying, "Can we come over to see you?" Knowing something had to be up, I played along, "Sure, whenever you like!" They arrived shortly thereafter, beaming, and we all pretended it was just a regular meeting until Stephanie couldn't handle it anymore, "We're getting married!" Everyone was thrilled! We all laughed, jumped, hugged and immediately starting asking a million questions. When? Where? How? They had no answers to any of those questions yet, but that would come.
Stephanie and Mr. A now had to face the calming down of both sets of parents! They were both in quite a whirlwind. Even though his parents loved Stephanie and her parents were very pleased with Mr. A, they weren't quite sure that their relationship should be going at the speed it was. Thus began a bit of a difficult stage of their relationship. They had to work at honouring both parents, not plowing ahead too fast, yet staying resolved in their new oneness. It was a tricky time of navigation. They would have gotten married a week or two later. At first it was going to be by or before Christmas, but they all settled, though somewhat begrudingly at first, with a March wedding. They didn't want to wait any longer than that!
It was our family's honour to be super involved in the whole process. My 6 year old daughter at the time would be her flower girl and my oldest daughter would be a bridesmaid. I was honoured. Over the course of the next few months, we hosted a bridal shower and the rehearsal dinner and we enjoyed every minute of it. It was a joy to walk alongside Stephanie in each struggle and in each joy. By this point she no longer worked for my husband as strange new priorities took over Stephanie's life! We still maintained our weekly Friday visits and we prayed and prayed and prayed harder than ever as she worked through the details of planning a wedding when not everyone was super supportive. One good thing in the whole process of ups and downs was that she and her parents, as well, as Mr. A and his parents, always kept open lines of communication. They were always, always talking. It was so good that she and her parents had redeveloped the relationship they had because they were always able to work through things that bothered them or vice versa. Even though some of the conversations weren't pleasant or easy, she was home, so there was never a time they could ignore tension. They had to work through everything, right away. Eventually, I would say, her parents and his parents came around and realized a wedding was happening. Everyone jumped on board. Everyone stood behind them and got excited. The festivities began and we jumped from bridal shower to bridal shower. My girls were loving the whole experience!
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