Well, we haven't heard from "Monster's" owners yet, as we kind of half thought we might see some sign of apology show up at our door (did I mention they own a winery down the street from us?), but they might be hearing from us. Yesterday morning, I looked outside and saw the massive bull just sitting. That bull rarely just sits. He has countless wives he likes to check on, at least 9! When he isn't checking out one of his wives, that bull is eating - all day long. I was out for a good chunk of the afternoon. When I came home, there he was in the exact same position. I thought it was weird and even mentioned it to the kids. Funny how after just a few years with these cows, you start to know their personalities and what cows' behaviour should or should not be. Trying to brush it off, I mentioned it, but then thought maybe it was coincidence. Perhaps he's learned to just like eating in that one spot, lying down. When my son, the wanna-be vet came in with my husband, I mentioned it to them and they both said, "Yes, we noticed that, too!" That's when some of us went outside and tried to get the bull up. Well, not with our hands, but with some grass. What cow doesn't like grass? At first, he wouldn't even budge for it. Not a good sign. Then he got up, with difficulty it seemed, but then he could barely walk, barely put weight on his hind legs. Something is definitely wrong. I'm thinking Monster had something to do with this.
Now, I'm already praying for wisdom on how best to handle this. Getting a vet in to see a large animal is expensive. There is a chance the bull will have to put down, that is expensive. There is a chance he'll just need meds. That is expensive. I'm not sure Monster can pay for all this on his own. So that's how our day is going to start today. Back when my dad grew up on a farm, a dog like that would have been shot and everyone would have understood. He's not impressed with how these owners are handling this farm fiasco.
Meanwhile, trying to stick to the financial side of this blog.....it is getting slightly colder and the clothing needs are starting to become more of an issue. I usually stick to the Goodwill-type stores, but sometimes there just aren't the items I need there or they are totally picked over and there just isn't the right size. There is another type of shop out there that is slightly used clothing for younger children, but it is a step up from the Goodwill in that they purposely sell only brand name clothing. It makes the clothing slightly more expensive, but you usually get really good quality stuff. The thing that frustrated me was that it stopped selling at my older kids' ages. I always wished that the store would carry older children's stuff, too. Turns out they do, but just not in that store. They have a sister store that carries young adult clothing and who knows how long the store was there, but I just discovered it a few doors down from the younger children's store. Oops. Oh well, at least I found it. The prices are definitely higher than they were for toddler's clothing, but still at least a 1/3 of the price for new clothing. I hate spending even that much, but my older kids are just that much bigger now, so I guess it kind of makes senses. Now they go through their stuff so fast on the farm and they are growing like weeds, so I'm constantly needing to buy pants. Even at Goodwill, some of the good stuff just isn't free. The kids and I made a bit of a deal. If they need the basics, I'm happy to supply it, but if they see something they want, but don't need, they buy it or at least contribute a large chunk of cash towards it. Yesterday, my son found a pair of Converse sneakers. I don't know what it is about Converse sneakers, but everytime we are at a Goodwill store, they are on the search. We've found them on a fairly regular basis and for a good price, yesterday was no exception. My son found them, tried them on, they fit, but they were the most we've ever paid - $22. They are usually between $70-$90 full price which is insane. We took them home, but my son will pay half as no child needs Converse shoes. Still, a fun find, and I like blessing my kids.
As for the math....I'm excited to say, things are coming along. The time and effort my husband is investing is already starting to see rewards. We found an incredible web-tutoring site that is free and directly from heaven! This site actually seems to have a brain and can tell exactly where my son is struggling. It then gives question after question until he gets 5 in a row correct. Only then he is allowed to move on to the next topic. The poor guy sits in my husband's office all day doing math. If he has a question my husband is right there. I wondered how my son was feeling, but then when we prayed together as a family the other morning, he thanked the Lord for his dad and for the time he was spending with him, for the sacrifice of time he was making. I was touched. It occurred to me to continue to be thankful - thankful for the website, thankful for the struggle, thankful for the circumstances allowing him to be tutored at home, by his dad. Then it occurred to me, what if he's going to be a math prof one day!!!!?? Maybe this struggle is for the very fact he'll be the best math teacher in the world one day! Who knows, but I know how important it is to be thankful because you just never know what God is up to.
I heard another great explanation of God's ways yesterday through Charles Price again when he was speaking of Job and his trial. Sometimes we just can't see God. Job must have felt this way after his entire lot of kids were killed and his terrible trial began. Price said, the entire book could have been explained in two verses, starting at 23:8. Read this,
8“But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
To Job, God wasn't there - anywhere, not in the east, west, north or south. "He is not there...I do not find him...I do not see him...I catch no glimpse of him." Such awful phrases, yet so honest. But then, the turning point....
9 "But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
"He knows the way I take." If He knows the way I take then He is there, even if I "catch no glimpse of Him." Sometimes, Price said, we just won't see God. He may be testing us, allowing bad things to happen, just like in Job's life. But, he said, "it isn't because He is breaking us. He is making us." We, like Job, will come forth as gold. After Job's trial, Mrs. Job (as Price referred to her!) had 10 more children and his wealth was returned to him multiplied, but that doesn't take the pain or sting of the trial away. He still lost children, servants and animals. The new children would never replace the ones he lost, but he had been refined, never the same. He knew God had been there in the trial, he just couldn't see Him at that time. Once again, a huge encouragement to me when I don't feel like God remembers me.
So we are still in the midst of trials, fairly minor in the big picture - dealing with neighbours and their dogs, trying to get creative to get out of the debt-bondage, working through scholastic issues with children, trying to maintain a very busy home. God always shows up in some ways, most of the time. But there are days, I cry out, please show me you are working! I need to see you! And He usually gives me some small sign, usually, but sometimes not. That verse, once again, when I was in the car for just a brief time, was such an encouragement to me. I trust we will come forth as gold - even if there is no end to our trial in the immediate future.
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