Some of my kids are more compliant than others. That's a nice way of saying some are just better behaved than others! Some come down happy in the morning, others not so much. Some obey their alarms, open their Bibles, memorize for a half hour, come down, do their chores, and the whole time they don't complain or say a single grumpy comment. Others, I have to drag out of bed, force them downstairs, insist they eat with a happy face....you get the idea. I told one of them last night that he had to come down this morning in a better frame of mind or there would be a consequence of some kind. He certainly gets enough sleep!
I listened to Alistair Begg yesterday morning on the way into driving my daughter for her weekly piano lesson - a good half hour drive, so I got his whole message. It was a challenging one on the 5th Commandment - Honour your father and your mother. I turned it up as I had a few kids in the car that I thought could benefit from listening! It was amazing.
So many people, he said, think the Ten Commandments are archaic. Not so, he said. Jesus often refers to them in the New Testament as do the other writers of the New Testament. In two different places, for example, Paul specifically talks about the behaviour of children, which indirectly refers to this particular commandment. In Romans 1:26-32, Paul talks about the ungodliness that is going on around him. It becomes quite graphic throughout the whole chapter, even referring to homosexuality. Then he lists all these other awful sin, such as, "...covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are haughty, boastful, inventors of evil...", but then, in this same list, the next "evil" is "disobedient to parents". Paul considers being disobedient to parents the same kind of evil as murder.
In 2 Timothy 3, he makes another list of things that will be a sign of the last days, "For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power." He goes on. Another list of awful sins, but being disobedient to parents was right in there with the worst of them.
Begg was saying simply, this cannot be. He used the Hebrew word, "kabed" which means respect, and can be translated as "a weight" or "heavy". We've all heard the expression, "You don't have an ounce of respect for me" or "You have a ton of respect for him". It implies a "weight" we feel, a burden of respect, so to speak. That is what it means to respect or honour someone - we feel so much respect for them, in a sense, that it is heaviness to us.
I, of course, was thinking of my own children the whole time and checking, do they feel that for me? Have I taught them that? Begg said so many kids treat their parents like one of the guys. The implication was that we aren't "one of the guys". We are their authority. He went on to give practical examples of respect, through speech and actions.
It is the only command with a promise - "that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." It almost sounds like you're going to live longer if you obey! Well, he said, in a general sense, it's true! If you don't obey and get involved in bad stuff with bad dudes, you could get involved with a gang and ultimately, you could get shot - short life! Bad example, but he was saying, it really is a true principle....for a society, for a nation - if the children are obeying their parents in a society or nation, then it will go better for that society and nation. Of course there are always exceptions, good kids die young, etc., but he said, it is the general principle we are to take from that and not throw it out just because of a few exceptions to the rule, so....in general, life will go better for a child if they obey! Isn't that so true!? If my child will come down in the morning, eat happily, do his chores happily, sit for school and work diligently, than all he'll hear from me is, "Great job! I'm so pleased with you! Take a break, you finished everything!" If not, then all he'll hear from me is griping. I'll be on his case the whole morning, fussing at him, dishing out consequence after consequence.....life will not go well with him (or her...I have a few "hers" as well that aren't so obedient, too!)
My children's "land" is our home. It is not going to go well with them in our home if they are rude and disrespectful kids. All day long I thought of these things and was evaluating each child. I do see a higher level of respect in some more than others. It appears I have some work to do. I don't think I can demand respect and expect it in one day. I really think I have to start at the beginning again with some of them and really teach what it means. You can bet I'm going to pull out these verses this morning in our Bible time. I love the fact the Bible includes them.
So, once again, not a lot of references to money and debt, just more about what I'm learning as a mom. My eyes see debt though as so much more than financial debt. If I haven't "invested" teaching my children about respect, then there is going to be a "debt", or a loss, of respect in our home towards myself and my husband. I knew I could make a tie-in if I tried! That is what I've learned the most as this journey of debt-reduction goes on. It has become about a much greater thing than money. It has revealed to me all the areas of my life where debt exists - everywhere! Yes, in our bank account, but also in our parenting, in our housework, in our relationships to one another...everywhere! It's all about taking the time to invest in all those areas, so I don't get behind in "payments"! I didn't leave my sink spotless last night, so now I'm behind, once again, "in debt" to my kitchen! Argh!
Well, that's another reason I'm up early, to take the time to get on top of things. Financial debt is a burden, for sure. Parenting debt, another burden. I trust the Lord to teach me how to invest in my kids, to teach them what they need to know before they leave home. Nancy said "There will never be enough time. They'll be gone before you know it." She wasn't saying it as a discouragement as much as a reminder to not waste a single teachable moment. I've got lots to do!
No comments:
Post a Comment